The Doctor Does Domestic
Preface
"Preface" sounds a lot classier than "Author's Notes," doesn't it? Anyway, you're probably puzzled why I'm writing a Ninth Doctor story when we're all supposed to be wondering and/or dreading what Jodie Whittaker's Thirteenth Doctor is going to be like.
Well, this is a story I've had in the back of my mind for many many years, in one form or another. I'm a big fan of Old Time Radio dramas, and have often wondered whether those old stories with their slow, melodramatic plots and ever-so-posh characters could be updated to work in the modern day. What sort of hero would be needed to bring the stiff-upper-lip sense of fair play but without any poshness? It had to be the Doctor.
This combined with another idea that I had been wondering about. What would happen if the Ninth Doctor, the Doctor who "doesn't do domestic," had to solve a small-scale problem? No alien invasions, mad scientists or the end of the universe. Would he hate it, or would he throw himself into it with all his usual energy?
But I hate the process of writing, so the idea has just been sitting around in my head going nowhere until now. Even though I don't like writing, I like having written stuff, and the idea just won't keep still in my brain. So here it is. Maybe I'll even manage to finish it this time.
"Doctor Who" is – of course – the property of the BBC. The story is very loosely based on an old BBC radio serial called "Paul Temple and the Lawrence Affair" written by Francis Durbridge. I don't own either of them.
I don't have a beta reader yet, so feel free to point out any mistakes that need fixing. But don't waste your time complaining about the weird premise of this story. That's pretty much fixed in stone, and it's too late to change it.
Chapter one
The boat and the bullets
The strange man wasn't there today. Rose had seen him sitting on the bench by the cliffs the past three days, staring creepily at her as she cycled past. But today, she noticed that the bench was empty save for a few fallen autumn leaves.
Good, she thought then tried to put him out of her mind as she cycled down the slope into Fulworth Gap. It was strange how someone like him could frighten Rose, who had fought alien menaces and even lived through the end of the world, even though he was just a human. No, she corrected herself, because he was human. That made a difference somehow.
Still trying hard to convince herself she was trying hard not to think about him, Rose entered the village of Fulworth itself, and cycled along the front where she could see the local fishermen waiting for the tide. Finally, she pulled up outside the Novelty Rock Emporium, chained her bike to the lamppost and went in.
Marnie Roberts was there behind the counter as usual. She looked up from her mobile and gave a cheery, "Hi Rose. How are you?"
Rose replied with a "Hi," of her own then added "Fine thanks."
"And how's the Doctor?" asked Marnie, a small black woman in her mid-thirties. "Still busy with his work?"
"Yeah. Once he gets started on something, there's no stopping him." Rose turned the wall behind her. Despite its name, the shop didn't just sell sticks of rock, but other sweets as well. There was even a small section at the back with general groceries, but it was the sweets that she was interested in now. She picked up a packet. "In fact, he asked me to get these for him. And how are you? Keeping busy?"
"It's quiet enough now, but we'll pick up when school closes," said Marnie. "It'll be chaos then."
"I bet." Rose grinned, remembering what she had been like as a kid.
"But, yeah," continued Marnie, "the only time we're busy in the mornings is in the summer Bank Holidays. The rest of the time, this is a chance to relax and catch up."
As if to prove her wrong, the bell above the shop door dingled and a man came in. The man. Rose felt herself take a half step backwards away from him.
Get a grip, she told herself and forced herself to look at him. He was just an ordinary man, in his fifties she guessed, a little bit overweight, black-rimmed glasses standing out against the grey hair on his temples. Nothing odd at all, except for the way he was staring at her.
"Do you sell cigarettes?" The question was aimed at Marnie, but addressed to Rose.
"Sorry," said Marnie. "Try the newsagents or the supermarket on Church Street."
"OK, thanks." Then, suddenly, he turned and left.
"What was up with him?" asked Rose, finding she could speak again.
"Dunno, but he won't forget you in a hurry."
"Yeah. Now where was we?"
"That Doctor of yours."
"Yeah." Rose smiled. "I was thinking of getting him out of the cottage for a bit. It said online that one of fishermen, a guy called Potts, takes people on boat trips along the coast. He's the old one with the limp, isn't he?"
"'Lobster' Potts?" said Marnie. "Yeah, that's him. But don't bother. He's hardly ever sober. I'll give my Gary a call and see if he can take you."
"Thanks," said Rose, and while Marnie called her husband, Rose gathered up the rest of the shopping they needed.
The Doctor hadn't even moved when Rose returned to Beekeeper's Cottage. At least, he was still sitting in the same spot on the living room carpet, the open doors of the police box behind him. He was even still probing the what looked the same TARDIS component with his sonic screwdriver. On a second glance, though, Rose wondered if maybe the piles of other components scattered all around him had grown a little while she was out.
"Back already?" he asked, putting down the strange circuit and leaping to his feet.
Rose sighed as she removed her backpack. "No, I'm still in town. What do you think!"
"Oh, very funny." A tiny pause then a grin started to spread across his face. "Did you get them?"
"Yeah." She reached into the backpack and felt what she she was after. "Here you go." She pulled out a packet of Jelly Babies and threw them to him.
"Fantastic!" The Doctor's grin now seemed to be taking over his face, spreading from one large ear to the other. "I haven't had these in centuries. Not since I had curly hair and a scarf! Can't wait to try them again. How do you stupid apes manage to make such great sweets?" He glanced down at the plastic packet and paused. "Why don't they come in a paper bag anymore?"
Rose wasn't paying much attention to him. Staring out of the cottage window, she tried to see round the curve in the lane to the bench, wondering if that man was back there now. It was only when the now-open packet of Jelly Babies was thrust under her nose that she was snapped back to her surroundings.
"I said, do you want one?" The Doctor waved the packet in front of her.
"Oh, uh, thanks." She absent-mindedly took a sweet, and looked at it without even noticing the colour.
"You were right," said the Doctor. "You aren't really here, are you?"
"What?" Rose popped the Jelly Baby in her mouth as confidently as she could. Was it orange?
"Look, I'll never be able to speak human body language like a native," said the Doctor, "but even I can tell something's wrong. What is it?"
"It's nothing, really."
"Nothing?" The Doctor cleared something that looked like a cross between a computer circuit board and a clockwork toy from the armchair and gestured for Rose to sit down. "Then it won't hurt if you tell me about it."
"All right." Rose knew when she was defeated. She sat down and told the Doctor everything. She felt embarrassed at first, knowing how silly she was to be worrying about something like this. She half expected the Doctor to dismiss her worries as "domestic," but he took it all very seriously. Squatting down in front of the chair, looking straight at her, he listened to every word, and even asked her to repeat the description of the man.
When she was done, he stood up again. "Look, if things are worrying you, then, there's a simple, practical solution."
"What do you mean?"
"You needn't stay here." He rubbed the back of his neck, then flung his arm out towards the door. "Even if it is nothing, I can fix the TARDIS here, and you could visit Ricky and that mother of yours up in London until..."
"No!" Rose startled herself with how strongly that came out. "Sorry, it's just, well, just too soon. Y'know?" She lifted her head and stared straight into his eyes. "When we went back and saw what happened to my dad, well, the TARDIS wasn't the only thing that got broken then."
"Oh." For once the Doctor was lost for words. "I… I didn't know. Am I supposed to hug you now or something?"
"No. But you can make me a cup of tea. And anyway," Rose leapt to her feet and tried to sound more cheerful. "I can't go up to London just now. I've got a little treat for you tomorrow."
The Doctor followed Rose along the quay, as slowly as he could. A boat trip along the coast wasn't his sort of thing. It was too touristy, too bland, too domestic. Why had he agreed to this?
His companion turned back and said, "Come on. At least we've got good weather for it."
Yes, that was why. "Fantastic," he replied with more enthusiasm than he could truly muster, and he quickened his pace. If something as simple, as domestic as this helped Rose to feel like her old self again, then it was worth it.
And yet there was something she had said, something in the description of her creepy man, that rang a faint bell in the back of his mind. As he rejoined Rose, he tried to recall it, but whatever it had been it was now lost behind a couple of awkward regenerations and a Time War.
The Doctor glanced over at the bald man sleeping in the boat beside them. "Don't tell me he's the one taking us."
"He nearly was." Rose pointed ahead to the next boat. "But we're going with Gary Roberts there."
Gary Roberts was in his mid-thirties, of average height, and his lean but muscular body gave him and average physique too. Typical unremarkable ape, thought the Doctor to himself. Only the shock of thick red hair above his tanned skin made Roberts stand out from the crowd.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor. Pleased to meet you." He bounded forward, grabbed Gary's hand and started shaking it in what he hoped was an enthusiastic manner,
"Uh, hello." Gary removed his hand. "Great to see you at last. Marnie's told me so much about you."
The Doctor glanced at Rose. "Marnie?" he mouthed.
"His wife. I've made friends with her," she whispered back. "I told you about her, remember."
"OK." He did remember hearing something about her, but had never really paid much attention when Rose talked about boring human stuff.
Rose turned towards Gary. "Sorry. You know how absent minded scientists can be."
"Yeah, I understand. As long as he doesn't forget why he's here," Gary turned towards the iron ladder leading down to a small fishing boat. "Let's go."
They climbed down and once Gary had given them both life jackets, he cast off and headed out to sea.
Despite himself, the Doctor soon found himself enjoying the trip. It wasn't as exciting as the Mary Celeste or the Titanic, of course, but in its own way it made a change from working on the TARDIS's spatial chronometers again.
He glanced over at Rose, who was looking at the cliffs. "Where's Beekeeper's Cottage?" she asked.
"Over there," said Gary. "You can just make out the roof from here."
"Oh yeah." Rose grabbed the Doctor's arm. "Look."
"It's good to know the cottage is occupied again," continued Garry. "It's been empty since before I was a kid."
"Yes, the old man who used to live there left it to m… to my family when he died," said the Doctor, "but we've never needed it before now."
"The old bee-keeper? My dad used to say he was an interesting man, but a bit odd."
"Like me, you mean."
"I didn't say that. Sorry, he wasn't related to you, was he?"
"No, just a friend. Of the family. Never met him myself. How could I? Look at me. I'm far too young. So what else did your dad tell you about him?"
"It seems he always used to say things like, 'In bee-keeping as in everything else in my life, the key to success is founded on the observation of trifles. People see but they don't observe.'"
"Yes, he was right there. Humans are stupid apes, never noticing what's right in front of them!" The Doctor was suddenly cut short by a hard stamp on his foot.
"Sorry," said Rose. "The boat must of jolted." She turned back to Gary. "Talking of seeing what's right in front of you, what's that really big cliff there."
"That's Easthead Point. It's a site of special scientific interest."
The Doctor looked excitedly at the approaching cliff. "What's there? Some spatio-temporal anomaly?"
"No. It's the nesting site of the dabfowl."
"Ah, nesting. Yes."
"Well, there's someone up on it now," said Rose. She waved, then paused. "Is he carrying a g..."
"Get down!" yelled the Doctor, who had seen it too. He pulled her down to the deck as a shot rang out. He heard the bullet fly overhead, then another shot, another bullet and a cry of pain. Gary Roberts, who had remained standing at the helm, now fell. Blood trickled out from where he lay.
Additional Author's Note: Fulworth is taken from "The Adventure of the Lion's Mane" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The old bee-keeper is Sherlock Holmes himself, and the Doctor met him in the novel, "All-Consuming Fire." But for those of you who like to think only TV is canon, I'm keeping things vague so you're free to imagine it was actually Madam Vastra in a very heavy disguise if you like!