Johnny takes a job at McDonalds:
"YOU!!!!! WHAT DID YOU ORDER???"
"Uh, I asked for a cheeseburger and a coke."
"THE SAME!!! THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!! CHEESEBURGER AND COKE!!! HAVE YOU NO IMAGINATION??? HERE, I HAVE IMAGINATION!!!" Johnny pulls out 10 straws from the straw dispenser and stabs them into different parts of the man's body. "Suck on that!" The man falls dead. Johnny clears his throat and smiles up at the line of customers.
"So... who's next?"
Johnny in the Emperor's new clothes:
The Grande Emperor Johnny walks gracefully down the street, wearing nothing but boxer shirt with pictures of smiley faces of them. A little girl in the silent crowd speaks up.
"The Emperor's got no clothes on!"
"what.did.you.say?" Johnny stops.
"I said, sir, that you've got on no clothes."
"Who are you to judge me by what I do and do not wear?! You fool child!! I don't wear whatever I don't want!!! How do you know the clothes don't exist?? Perhaps your eyes are not trained enough to see my magnificent clothing! Does anyone else not see them?"
There is a general murmur of agreement.
"FOOLS!!! FOOLS!! MY CLOTHING IS THERE!!! YOU AREN'T WEARING CLOTHING!!" Johnny proceeds to strip his subjects with his hands as he breaks their necks and jumps on them.
"THERE!!!! WHERE ARE YOUR INVISIBLE CLOTHES??? MY CLOTHES ARE SO SUPERIOR TO YOURS!!! ONLY I CAN SEE THE CLOTHES!!"
Johnny rips off a man's sandal. "LOOK!! INVISIBLE SOCKS!!! LOOK, INVISIBLE WIG!!! LOOK, INVISIBLE SKIN!! HA!!"
The blood/clothshed ends. Johnny looks at his bloodstained clothing.
"Yeah, I don't really like it either." Johnny pulls on his boots, a pair of ripped pants and a black shirt with a potato on the front. He walks off.
Johhny at Hogwarts:
Students walk down the hallways. Johnny is holidng his wand. He points it at Harry Potter.
"ZAP!" Harry Potter falls dead.
Some kid with red hair runs down the hallway in front of Johnny.
"zap."
The kid dies.
more kids run by, like at a shooting stand. "Zap zap zap zap zap."
Johnny looks at his. wand.
"What am I doing?"
Johnny points the wand at his head.
"Zap."
The end. I know that was stupid, and completely pointless, but my muses made me do it, so fook them.
"YOU!!!!! WHAT DID YOU ORDER???"
"Uh, I asked for a cheeseburger and a coke."
"THE SAME!!! THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!! CHEESEBURGER AND COKE!!! HAVE YOU NO IMAGINATION??? HERE, I HAVE IMAGINATION!!!" Johnny pulls out 10 straws from the straw dispenser and stabs them into different parts of the man's body. "Suck on that!" The man falls dead. Johnny clears his throat and smiles up at the line of customers.
"So... who's next?"
Johnny in the Emperor's new clothes:
The Grande Emperor Johnny walks gracefully down the street, wearing nothing but boxer shirt with pictures of smiley faces of them. A little girl in the silent crowd speaks up.
"The Emperor's got no clothes on!"
"what.did.you.say?" Johnny stops.
"I said, sir, that you've got on no clothes."
"Who are you to judge me by what I do and do not wear?! You fool child!! I don't wear whatever I don't want!!! How do you know the clothes don't exist?? Perhaps your eyes are not trained enough to see my magnificent clothing! Does anyone else not see them?"
There is a general murmur of agreement.
"FOOLS!!! FOOLS!! MY CLOTHING IS THERE!!! YOU AREN'T WEARING CLOTHING!!" Johnny proceeds to strip his subjects with his hands as he breaks their necks and jumps on them.
"THERE!!!! WHERE ARE YOUR INVISIBLE CLOTHES??? MY CLOTHES ARE SO SUPERIOR TO YOURS!!! ONLY I CAN SEE THE CLOTHES!!"
Johnny rips off a man's sandal. "LOOK!! INVISIBLE SOCKS!!! LOOK, INVISIBLE WIG!!! LOOK, INVISIBLE SKIN!! HA!!"
The blood/clothshed ends. Johnny looks at his bloodstained clothing.
"Yeah, I don't really like it either." Johnny pulls on his boots, a pair of ripped pants and a black shirt with a potato on the front. He walks off.
Johhny at Hogwarts:
Students walk down the hallways. Johnny is holidng his wand. He points it at Harry Potter.
"ZAP!" Harry Potter falls dead.
Some kid with red hair runs down the hallway in front of Johnny.
"zap."
The kid dies.
more kids run by, like at a shooting stand. "Zap zap zap zap zap."
Johnny looks at his. wand.
"What am I doing?"
Johnny points the wand at his head.
"Zap."
The end. I know that was stupid, and completely pointless, but my muses made me do it, so fook them.