Birthday in (Un)Paradise Pt. 1 or 'Prologue'

"Another year another stupid birthday party," Nine muttered aboard Five's TARDIS.

"Lighten up Nine," Five said cheerfully as he messed with the TARDIS controls. "Not all of our parties are stupid."

When Nine glared at him Five sighed. "Alright, all of our parties are kinda stupid."

"But not this one!" One interjected. "We're going Detann, the resort planet, for a day of rest and relaxation!"

"Sounds more like a spa date than a party," Nine commented.

"At least there will be beer," Four said hopefully.

"Uh no," One said. "But I think there's wine."

"Wine?" Four asked, outraged. "The whole point of these parties is to get really drunk, really quickly! Do you think wine can do that? I don't think so!"

"C'mon guys," Five complained. "Can we just have a civil party, where we don't get drunk?"

"No!" Nine and Four said at the same time.

"Really Nine?" Five asked, surprised. "I thought you would like this sort of thing."

"I may not like hanging out with you all," Nine began. "But I don't want to deprive you of an enjoyable birthday party. Plus it's really entertaining to watch you get drunk."

"Exactly!" Four said. "So can we go somewhere else, like a club or something?"

Five was about to answer when One exclaimed, "As long as I'm here we're going to Detann, and that's that! Anyone who gets in my way will get hit with my cane, you got that?"

Five, Nine and Four nodded as they backed away from One. They all knew the wrath of the cane, and didn't want to get on One's bad side.

When One left Four said, "You know what? I'm going to take some beer with me anyway."

"Bring some for me!" Nine called out as Four also left.

"One will be so mad at us when he finds out about this," Five muttered worriedly.

"You really care about what One thinks, do you?" Nine said in surprise.

"Hell no!" Five said. "I just don't want to be hit by that cane. It hurts really badly, you know."

Nine nodded. "If One finds out about this, just blame it on Four."

***888***888***888***

Ten and Eleven were across the room, trying to figure out what they were going to bet on for this year's party.

"Maybe, instead of betting on who can drink the most, we could bet on who can drink the least," Eleven suggested.

"What do you mean?" Ten asked.

"I mean, let's bet on who can stay sober the longest."

"Obviously I would beat you," Ten said proudly.

"Please," Eleven said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "I can stay sober longer than you! Everybody knows that."

"So the bet is on?" Ten asked.

"Of course it is!" Eleven replied, grinning wide.

***888***888***888***

Meanwhile, Eight leaned against the wall, looking nervous. Seven walked up to him and asked, "So, are you ready to lose at chess?"

"You know Seven, I can still beat you," Eight said nonconfidently.

"Doubt it," Seven replied as Six joined them.

"I'm still playing the winner, whoever that may be," Six announced.

"You're saying that like there is a chance I can lose," Seven said in disbelief.

Eight smiled as Six said, "Even the chessmaster can be mastered at some point."

"What the hell does that mean?" Seven asked. "And I thought I spoke in code," he muttered under his breath.

"It means I think you can lose," Six explained bluntly.

"No! I can't lose!" Seven exclaimed, panicking as he grabbed the lapels of the jacket of the nearest Doctor he could find, which happened to be Three.

"Three!" Seven yelled. "You think that I'll win at chess against Eight, right?"

Three shrugged. "It's 50/50."

"50/50 how?" Seven asked, afraid of what Three might say. "Either I win or Eight loses?"

"You either win or you don't," Two explained, who was right beside Three.

"But it's not that simple!" Seven shrieked. "I can't lose! It's impossible!"

Eight watched Seven's breakdown with secret glee. It looked like the Chessmaster shall fall from his throne tonight.

Well, he hoped so.

***888***888***888***

Suddenly the TARDIS shook. "We've landed!" Five called out.