Fear For Change
Author: brodiew
Characters: OC Lens Eli, Ben Skywalker
Keywords: denial, friendship, destiny.
Genre: angst
Timeframe: 15 years post FOTJ
A/N: This vig explores my OC's refusal to face the drastic change coming which will separate him from his life long friend(s).
Lens Eli stood in the center of the gaming field with a diamond ball bat and large crated Akus fruit. The medium sized fruit had a light green outer skin which covered a tender, yet succulent meat inside. But eating the fruit was not his goal. He intended to pulverize all twenty one of them.
Bending over the crated, he reached in and pulled one out. It was ripe. He really didn't expect it to green. Was that a pun? He really wasn't in the mood for jokes; even one of his own.
Tossing the fruit into the air with his right hand, he then retracted it, gripped the handle of the bat right below his left, and swung with all his might. The fruit exploded into a pulpy mess as bat moved through it.
Lens allowed a smile of satisfaction creep across his face as he proceeded to demolish another eight Akus'.
"Feel better?" said an unexpected voice.
Lens nearly joined the Force on the spot, but instead dropped his bat while seeming to jump two meters into the air.
After a second or two of recovery, he turned to the intruder. "Stang, Ben! What the hells? I don't appreciate you sneaking up on me like that. You said you would never do it again."
"Did I?" said the red haired Jedi Master. "I seem to remember it differently. Something like you threatening me with bodily harm if I ever did it again."
"Yeah, well, my threats must not carry much weight," Lens replied flatly. "What are you doing here?"
"Visiting a friend."
"I want to be alone. That's why I came to The Hapitna, Ben. It's deserted."
Lens picked another of the round fruits from its container and sent more wet fragments flying.
"What are you doing, Lens?" Ben asked in earnest.
Lens ignored him and continued his assault on the helpless fruit. Ben's intrusion into his 'alone time' was unwelcome and he hoped his friend would go as silently as he came. But, historically, that hope was pointless. He finished off the last of the Akus' and, picking up the container walked past Ben.
"Talk to me," Ben asserted. "I want to help."
With his back still to Ben, Lens threw the crate to the ground, splintering it. "We've already discussed it, Ben. I just don't know what to do. The Force is silent. And I'm damn frustrated about that."
"So this is about the appointment," Ben said evenly, not wanting to sound judgmental.
"I just don't think I'm the right man for the job," Lens said turning to face his friend.
"That's Bantha dung and you know it," Ben replied.
"Whatever you say, Ben. The point is I'm not real confident right now. I'm felling a little lost. You may find that shocking, but humor mill has run out of lumber."
Ben ignored the lame joke; if that was what it was. "So tell me."
"Isn't the Force supposed to guide us? Isn't it supposed to direct us? I'm about to make the second biggest decision of my life and I'm just not sure. Our 'god' won't tell me what to do! And, don't ask me if I've been meditation. For Force sake, I fall asleep half the time."
"Maybe a fifth of the time, but half? Come on, Lens."
"This isn't funny, Ben!" Lens snapped. "We're grown men, not teenage boys making mischief."
"I know. I was just trying to break the ice, I guess."
Lens kicked at the pile of wood that use to be the fruit crate. "Yeah, I gathered. I guess I just want to stay mad. It's something tangible I can hold on to. It gives me some control."
"But how does it make you feel, Lens. Are you happier being angry at the Force? Does it help your marriage, your friendships, or your relationship to the Younglings?"
"At least I'm certain about something when I'm angry. I can blame the Force for not being more direct."
"Ok. I can see that. We all get mad sometimes. And projecting that onto other is a type of control.
Ben frowned. "It' called passive aggression, Lens."
"Great! My very own therapist," Lens snapped. "I can get that at home, Ben. My friend is supposed to support me."
"Calling out your crap is supporting you!" Ben replied more harshly than he intended.
"Good grief! Are you sure this isn't Kayla in a Force illusion!"
"Why did you come here?"
"Here?"
"Yeah, to The Hapitna."
"I already said I wanted to be alone."
"But you knew I'd find you here eventually. This is where we had our first big adventure."
"Your point?"
"Are you afraid that there won't be anymore adventure if you take the Academy position?"
Lens felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "What?"
"Or more specifically are you worried about breaking up the band?"
Lens let out a long sigh, which ended with a half chuckle.
"How long have we been friends, Ben?" Lens asked.
"Twenty- one years."
"Yes," Lens replied, looking the redhead in the eye. "The good, the bad, and the hilarious."
"Don't forget the devious and nefarious," Ben added smiling.
Lens gave his a satisfied, but resigned expression. "It won't be the same after this. We'll be separated by a gulf of light years."
Ben's smile turned to a grin. "I didn't know you cared."
Lens shook his head. "I don't want to leave Coruscant, Ben, but for all my fist shaking at the Force, I think I've always known leading the academy is the right thing to do."
Ben approached him and threw an arm around his shoulder. "I think we need to get the band back together for one last big blow out."
"I heartily agree," Lens replied, his mood beginning to lighten. "Is Shorty on planet?"
"No, but retrieving our Wookiee friend is not a problem for the leader of the Council."
"Hey, we're both Jedi Masters here."
"Some are just more equal than others," Ben retorted.
"Ben made a funny. First time for everything."
"Should get going, Our wives will be waiting up."
"Yours maybe, but mine is probably sleeping like the baby she's carrying. Chastising me takes a lot out of her."
The both laughed as they headed to their respective air cars.
"Hey, Ben," Lens called across his car.
Ben looked up and caught Lens' eye. "Yeah?"
"Good talk."
"Yeah, Lens. Good talk."