Black Days

by nickyfullmetal

As if one complex friendship with a Black was not enough, she somehow found herself involved with his older brother. Dark times, Black days.

A\N : I was toying with the idea for the longest time, until I found the will to sit down and write it. Well, half of it actually.

End of August 1977:

There were times where Valerie was infinitely grateful that Pure-blood society was a patriarchal one. Looking at her two older brothers, and the path that was destined for them, she was more than happy to be ignored for being female. Not to say that her siblings rejected the old ways, on the contrary, they happily embraced the ideology and strived to fulfill the expectations, but Valerie doubted she had it in her. She preferred not to dwell on it, because for her the decision would be hardly as easy as it was for her brothers, and luckily, she would never have to face it. Her biggest worry at the present time, was postponing her marriage.

"Seventeen is a reasonable age to consider it." Her mother insisted, while combing her long hair.

"I cannot think of a single guy that is worth my time." Valerie replied, honestly. "Definitely not my entire life."

"Well, the young Avery is quite a looker." Her mother said playfully.

Valerie nearly gagged. "The charm wears off when you hear him address girls as 'walking cunts'."

Her mother gasped. "Don't you use such vulgar words, Valerie!" She rebuked her. "I am certain that there are some suitable lads in your year."

"Suitable? James Potter was appointed Head Boy, but I'll doubt father will approve." Valerie teased.

Her mother tagged on her hair slightly harder than necessary. "Potter? He's from a Pure-blood family, isn't he?"

Valerie confirmed. "Yes, but he's besotted with Evans. He is what father would call blood-traitor."

"Is Evans of ….non-magical origin?" Her mother inquired.

Valerie smiled at the how her mother chose to avoid the derogative term. She was a good woman, albeit a bit spineless, and Valerie wondered how she ended up with her father. Oh, arranged marriage. "Yes, she is."

"Silly boy. Such behavior would be a great disappointment to your father." Her mother said quietly.

"And what about you? Will you shun me?" Valerie pressed, turning around to look at her mother.

The silence told her everything she needed to know. Her mother loved her dearly, but she would bend to her husband's will eventually. "What about Regulus? You two seem to get along well."

Valerie twitched her nose. "He's two years younger than me."

The older woman sighed. "Shame his older brother hangs around with those punks. I heard he ran away from home last year."

Valerie chuckled. God forbid the older Black was more obedient and her parents would seriously consider marrying her off to that pompous sod. "Yes, he lives with the Potters now."

"Your father expects you to marry once you graduate." Her mother informed her.

Valerie fought hard to keep her composure. She needed to weasel her way out of that unfortunate future. "Mother, you know how I always wanted to pursue higher education. My dream is to study Potions in the L'academie de Magie. I am certain that I will find a suitable husband there."

Her mother considered the offer for a moment. "I suppose it is acceptable. But we will have to see what your father has to say about it."

It never escaped her how her mother always referred to him as 'her father'. As if they had no relations, no bond aside from their children. Valerie hoped she would never end up in such miserable marriage.

September 1977:

Valerie's relations with Severus Snape were quite complicated. Their bitter rivalry in Potions was almost as infamous as Snape's strife with the Marauders. While Valerie rarely involved herself in petty exchanges of insults, when it came to Snape she gave as good as she got, and her Pure-Blood manners be damned. Snape, the slimy snake he was, knew how to push her buttons.

He saw right through her façade of indifference, when she pretended to accept her place in the Pure-Blood society as a womb and nothing more. Snape frequently reminded her that her talents were best practiced in the kitchen, which was the rightful place of a wife, that is, in case someone would foolishly agree to marry her. Valerie would have easily written off his insults as pathetic attempts to rile her up, but his words perfectly reflected the behavior of her family. Her father only cared that she behaved in a manner suited for a Pure-Blood nobility, did not associate with Mudbloods and did not compromise her virtue. Her mother and brothers also did not see any importance in her academic achievements, and expressed concern that her intellect would scare away potential suitors. The only one that showed interest in her skills was her brother's wife, Bellatrix, who even mildly encouraged her. However, Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black, was one person Valerie would have been happier not to draw their attention.

Valerie was just on her way to Transfiguration when she heard a very familiar drawl just around the corner. "Your pathetic attempts to associate with me are hopeless. Stay away from me, Mudblood."

A sound akin to stifled cry followed, and Valerie bet all her money that was certainly Lily Evans, standing red-eyed and wounded in front of one oily-haired Slytherin.

"I'd hate to dock points from my own house, so I'll just let Filch know you have detention with him tonight." Valerie rounded the corner, smirking gleefully at Snape.

Snape's black eyes were shooting daggers at her. "What for?" He hissed.

"The use of derogatory word, of course." Valerie said. "You cannot expect me, as a prefect, to simply ignore verbal assault."

Snape was simply seething and Valerie reveled at the sight. "Like you think any differently about her kind."

"Evans? I need to exchange a few words in private with my housemate." Valerie said strictly, and the Muggle-born who was so far staring at her, silent and wide-eyed, bowed her head and bolted.

"I don't punish you for calling her Mudblood. I'm punishing you because you're a hypocrite." Valerie remarked, leaning against the corridor wall. "You still carry a torch for her."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Snape said blankly.

"Well, you'll have time to ponder about it tonight, in detention." Valerie replied coolly, before leaving, feeling Snape glaring at her back with intense hatred. Let him know she could play just as dirty as he did. Valerie was not sorted into Slytherin for no reason.

October 1977:

Valerie was not in the mood, but she could not ignore the situation. Three notorious Gryffindors were bullying her housemates, and while Snape could hold his own, and she really did not care much for the rest, Valerie could not turn her back on Regulus. His face did not betray much but she knew those encounters with his older brother had a lasting negative impact.

"Potter, it's an understatement that you don't deserve your Head Boy title, but bullying the younger students is definitely a new low point." Valerie stepped between the two rivaling groups.

She could feel Snape glaring at her, and Black grinned evilly. "You Slytherins send your women to fight for you now? How befitting."

Wands were drawn immediately, including Valerie's. She gave the other Slytherins a warning glare. Unlike them, she was a prefect, and even the loathsome Gryffindors would never dare to attack her. Valerie took a few steps towards the Marauders, and said in a low voice that only Black could hear. "I know what you are, you little bitch. Hanging out with werewolves makes you forget your place."

Black visibly blanched. She heard snickers behind her, when he kept gaping dumbly for another good moment. "I suggest you gather your zoo and leave." Valerie added coldly.

Black snapped out of his momentary shock, and without a word grabbed Potter's arm and pulled him away, walking in a frantic pace. Pettigrew followed.

"What did you tell him?" Snape demanded, once she turned around.

Valerie scowled at her oily-haired peer. "I don't answer to you, Snape." She intoned, and averted her gaze to Regulus. "Come on, Reg, I'm starving."

The younger Black gave her a faint smile, and they both headed to the Great Hall for dinner.

October 1977:

"How did you figure us out?" Black boomed, with Potter standing behind him with his arms crossed, doing his best to appear intimidating. Valerie was tempted to snicker at the lame attempt. She had been raised by Death Eaters, and it would have taken much more than a lanky boy in glasses to scare her.

"Anyone who claims to have eyes and one functioning lobe can deduce that." Valerie drawled, in a very Slytherin fashion.

Lupin, who had been leaning against the wall, a few steps behind them, intervened before Potter and Black further embarrassed themselves. "Could you please elaborate?" He asked, his tone ever polite.

Valerie gouged him for a long moment. Out of the four of them, Lupin was the only one she could stand, or perhaps it was pity she was mixing with approval. "You get sick every full moon, Lupin. For the past 6 years. It's hard not to notice." Valerie stated and he visibly cringed.

"But the others never-" Potter argued but was swiftly silenced.

"-The others did not have a werewolf among their household." Valerie said crisply. Potter seemed puzzled so she continued. "If you failed to notice so far, my last name is Lestrange."

Dim-witted as he was, the name did seem to ring a bell as Potter's expression darkened. "And the rest of us?" He inquired.

"There was never a Marauder's prank executed on a full moon." Valerie pointed out. "And you made quite a fuss last month when you were scheduled to patrol that Tuesday. Something about being an avid fan of lunar eclipses." Valerie said dryly.

Black gave Potter a disappointed glare. It was indeed a horrid excuse. "And fifth year in the restricted section. I knew it was you, I just couldn't prove it. Very interesting reading material." Valerie smirked.

Black rolled his eyes. "Of course, Wormtail had to sneeze and reveal our presence."

"Those books were dusty!" Pettigrew defended himself. Valerie did not even spare him a glance. The other three were gits, but Pettigrew was downright scum. She could tell.

"Is the interrogation over? May I leave now?" Valerie queried, looking bored.

"No." Black retorted harshly. "We need to make sure you don't rat on us."

Valerie snorted. "The only rat in this room is Pettigrew. If I intended to rat, I would have done it long ago."

"And why didn't you?" Lupin asked softly.

Sometimes she wished Regulus had not told her. Valerie hated feeling guilty. "Because the one that bit you is dining with my parents every other weekend."

Something very dangerous flashed in Black's eyes and Potter instinctively grasped his arm to restrain him. Valerie returned his glare, unwavering under his fury. "If you want to guarantee my silence, stop bullying your brother." Valerie warned him.

"Why are you defending Regulus?" Black spat his brother's name with disgust.

"Because someone has to!" Valerie hissed, her voice full of accusation. "You have no idea what he is going through!"

"It must be really tough to be a relatively popular Slytherin, and the perfect son my parents always dreamed of!" Black roared, rage and jealousy written all over his face.

Valerie laughed darkly. "Things changed since you ran away. You know what kind of man your father is."

For a short moment Black's eyes widened with horror. But he quickly recovered. "Then maybe he should grow a backbone and do as I did."

"He's not you." Valerie remarked. "And it's not that simple."

"It's quite simple actually. He just needs to pack his shit and leave." Black retorted heatedly.

"And go where, you inbred twat?" Valerie yelled at him. "To his friends' house? Rosier? Avery? Maybe Carrow?"

Black did not have a response, and there was a long silence, which Valerie used to simply walk away from the classroom. No one tried to stop her.

January 1978:

Regulus pulped down into a seat near her, with a poorly concealed winch. Valerie noticed that his appetite was lacking and he mainly abused the food with his fork rather than actually eat it. "I take it as you had lovely holidays?" Valerie mentioned cynically.

Regulus gave her a dirty glare, and let out a pained hiss when a fellow Slytherin brushed lightly against his back. Valerie sighed, she knew the meaning of this. "So, do I need to drag you to Madam Pomfrey, or would you prefer that I took a look at the damage?"

Regulus closed his eyes momentarily. "You have DADA on first period, right?"

"Yes, but I can arrive a bit late." Valerie said softly. Regulus must have been in terrible pain if he surrendered with so little resistance.

Regulus stood up without a word, and walked to the common room with Valerie by his side. There was no point in keeping it secret - the fifth year Slytherins knew because there was no hiding in the showers, and the rest of the house knew because the former could not keep their traps shut. No one seemed as upset as Valerie felt about it, and perhaps it was a rather conventional practice in Pure-Blood families.

Regulus was thin, and significantly less muscled than his older brother. But when he took off his shirt, he seemed dramatically skinnier and the angry scars and semi-fresh wounds on his back made her stomach turn. It was one thing to ignore your child, like her father did, and a totally different one to actively abuse it. "I know you hate it when I criticize your father, but honestly Reg, this is-"

"-This crafty piece of work was done mostly by my lovely cousin Bellatrix." Regulus hissed. "Your brother was quite impressed by her talent."

Valerie turned scarlet with shame, bowing her head. "I'm so sorry, Reg."

He only shrugged, his eyes glued to his shoes, and Valerie hurried to fetch her first-aid kit. She was unprepared the first time it happened, and it took her a day until she could provide Regulus with some relief. But nowadays she was well-practiced and organized, and she began cleaning his wounds carefully, and applying small healing spells on the lesser wounds. Valerie proceeded to coat the graver ones with Star Grass salve, and bandaged it as best as she could. She handed him a vial of pain-killer potion which he downed wordlessly. Regulus dressed slowly, and Valerie waited patiently for him, busying herself with organizing her equipment. She returned the box to her room, and when she entered the common room Regulus was already decent.

"Head up high, Reg." Valerie smiled at him as they left the dungeons. "Don't let them see you crack."

"They relish in the smell of fresh blood." Regulus snorted.

"Snape seemed particularly smug this morning." Valerie mentioned.

"Yes, but it has nothing to do with me." Regulus replied. "I think he caused a rift between the Marauders. My brother was sitting alone today."

Valerie could not help but smile at the younger Slytherin. He still cared for his brother. "Do you think he knows?"

Regulus was silent for a moment. "He might. Snape is exceptionally sharp and insightful, even for a Slytherin."

"Snape is the kind to rat out, though." Valerie remarked.

"True. But he might not have enough proof, and he would never make a fool of himself in such way." Regulus countered wisely. "There is a slight chance that he is waiting for the right opportunity, like I do."

Valerie chuckled inwardly. Regulus liked to pretend that he did not reveal the Marauders' secret because he was looking for the perfect moment to expose them, or perhaps use it as blackmail material. But frankly, he could never betray his brother. Even now. They parted ways as they went to different classes and Valerie walked into DADA twenty minutes late. Professor Doge gave her a very disapproving look, but did not dock points or rebuke her.

To Valerie's great displeasure, her usual desk was occupied by a miserable looking Sirius Black. She reluctantly took a seat by his side, letting out a huff of protest. He gave her a side glance that had absolutely no fight left in it, and Valerie rolled her eyes and focused on the lesson instead. Black passed most of the lesson trying not to look at Potter with apologetic eyes, and was completely unresponsive when Doge directed a question at him. Valerie kicked his shin under the table and murmured. "Romania."

Black raised his eyes from the desk, realizing Doge was addressing him. Mechanically, he said "Romania."

"That's correct Mr. Black. Their main habitat is Romania." Professor Doge confirmed, giving Valerie a suspicious stare.

The rest of the lesson passed rather uneventfully, except from the vicious glares she was receiving from both Potter and Snape. Valerie was clueless as to how she had drawn the wrath of those two nemeses. She collected her notes when the class was dismissed but when she turned to leave, she felt someone grab her wrist. Black was looking at her with torn eyes.

"You're never late for class." He stated. "Is something wrong with Regulus?"

Valerie tore her hand for his grasp, looking around to make sure no one had witnessed. "I'm finishing my rounds at midnight. Meet me by the mirror on the fourth floor." Valerie instructed, giving him a meaningful look and his eyes widened before he let out a small chuckle.

Even though she loved Potions, the next two hours were antagonizing, as she was partnered with Snape. Valerie focused on cutting the roots when Snape whispered. "Fraternizing with the enemy now?"

"No idea what you're talking about, Snivelus." Valerie said coolly.

"I saw you whispering the right answer to Black." Snape smirked cruelly.

Valerie calmly added the roots to the potion and stirred three times clock-wise. "You're delusional. I heard rutting with Mudbloods might have those kinds of effects."

Snape was wearing a very ugly scowl. "You don't know who you messing with, you pathetic quim."

Valerie stopped chopping the toad's liver and with a swift movement embedded her knife on Snape's cutting board, right between his two fingers. "You forget your place, Half-Blood scum. It's a shame our house is tainted by dirt like you."

Snape was shaking with rage, his furious blush reaching to his ears. The rest of the class was passed with minimal exchange of words between them, and in the end they received an 'O' for their potion, with a relatively long list of compliments. Snape was a brilliant Potioneer, Valerie admitted, but such a despicable human.

Valerie struggled to keep her concentration through Charms, since her mind pulled into so many different directions. She was worried about Regulus, pissed at Snape and totally confused as to what had caused her to meet with Black that night. Valerie delved into her homework after the classes ended, and changed Regulus' bandages before going to her rounds. It looked bad, and it would certainly scar, but Regulus bore it with admirable endurance.

The hallways were empty when she made her way to the fourth floor, and Black was already leaning on the wall by the mirror when she got there. He was wearing torn dark jeans, t-shirt that had a Muggle band by the name of 'The Clash' printed on it, and a leather jacket. An utter disgrace by Pure-blood standards. Valerie had shoved her robes into her bag, and quickly uncovered the passage behind the mirror. Once they were making their way in the dark passage, Black broke the silence.

"How did you know about it?"

"My eldest brother told me about it. He spent most of his Hogwarts years shit-faced drunk." Valerie replied.

Black laughed at that and they made their way to Hogsmeade in strained silence. "Three Broomsticks?" Black suggested.

"Get us some drinks and let's go sit somewhere else." Valerie said. "We can't really allow ourselves to be seen."

Black seemed to understand the underlying meaning. Not only were they Hogwarts students sneaking away from school to consume alcohol, she was Pure-Blood nobility that could not risk being seen with a Blood-traitor. He returned with a bottle of Fire-Whiskey a few moments later, and they settled on a deserted hill, observing the Shrieking Shack.

Black granted her the first sip. Valerie swallowed with ease. "I suppose you have felt your father's magical whip in the past." Valerie speculated and Black nodded. "Well, Regulus is getting acquainted with it too."

"The old asshole." Black spat, snatching the bottle from her hand and gulping. "He thinks the Black men have to be tough. I'd like to use an Unforgivable on him and see how tough he really is."

"I'm afraid you dear cousin Bellatrix is also participating in Regulus'…education." Valerie remarked with obvious loathing.

"She's a fucked up bitch." Black said flatly. "She would be a fucking perfect Death Eater. Role-model sadist."

Valerie sighed. She got a similar impression of Bellatrix. "But he's hanging on, isn't he? Reg doesn't let them break him?" Black asked with concern. He also slipped and called his brother by his nickname.

"He's a strong kid." Valerie assured him. "But his views are different than yours. He thinks…well, it's all for the cause. I guess it makes it easier for him to believe."

Black was clearly disappointed, but he did not voice it. "Do you believe in the cause?" He questioned, his voice dripping with acid.

"I don't busy myself with notions that don't concern me." Valerie answered vaguely.

Black snorted. "Don't concern you? You family, your brothers…they are in His inner circle. You know that."

"I know that." Valerie said sternly. "I also know that I am a woman, and they consider me useless, only worthy to serve a Death Eater in bed or in the kitchen."

"Bellatrix was given the mark." Black countered.

"I am not her." Valerie stressed. "My strength is not in my ruthlessness."

Black opened his mouth to speak and closed it a few times, and Valerie honestly hoped Black would not suggest turning sides. This was one dilemma she certainly did not want to deal with. Fortunately, he decided to remain silent. They emptied half the bottle before Valerie spoke again.

"What happened between you and Potter?"

"Why do you care?" Black retorted suspiciously.

"Snape is looking entirely too smug about it and frankly I can't stand to see it." Valerie glowered.

Black let out a bark of laughter. "It was because of him, the oily-haired bastard. I told him about Remus, hoping he would get eaten when he went looking for him."

Valerie grinned genuinely. "I can appreciate it as a Slytherin. But I guess letting Lupin's secret out…Gryffindor loyalty and all that bleeding heart nonsense…" Valerie trailed off, taking another sip of the Fire-Whiskey.

"Yeah, that was a douchebag move on my side. I really do regret it. Especially since James rescued Snape at the last moment, and the bastard came out without a scratch." Black admitted with something between a smirk and a frown. "I apologized to Remus and I think he might forgive me sometime soon, but James wouldn't even look at me."

"I'll put a good word for you with the Head Boy. Maybe promise to get Snape in detention every night for the following week if he agrees to pardon you." Valerie suggested with a grin.

"Why would you do that?" Black stared at her confused.

Valerie hesitated for a moment, then decided to stick with the truth. "For one, I really hate to see Snape gloating. And also…Reg was pretty worried about you this morning."

Black expression softened and he let out a tired sigh. "I wish he would just leave, like I did."

"He won't." Valerie stated, confident. She knew Regulus too well. She was quite certain Black know his brother would never leave as well.

"Then I can't help him." He said curtly, downed the last drop of Fire-Whiskey and got on his feet. He offered Valerie his hand, but since she was rather pissed about his comment she ignored it, and stood up, walking towards the passage. They did not exchange a word since, although Black was gentleman enough to walk her to the dungeons. He gave her a curt nod and walked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. Valerie caught a glimpse at the clock that showed 3:45, and mentally prepared herself for a horrid morrow of hangover and sleep deprivation.

February 1978:

Valerie stared begrudgingly at her pristine white underwear wondering why she never woke up to find her panties stained red like the others girls have. Initially she assumed she might be a late bloomer, but her breasts developed and she was already seventeen for Merlin's sake! Valerie had consulted Madam Pomfrey, which promptly weighed her and gave her a quick over-all scan. Valerie was found to be healthy as a Hippogriff, although Madam Pomfrey mentioned she could allow herself to gain some more weight. And with the stress of the final year that was highly unlikely. Valerie was scheduled an appointment in St. Mongos, and was given permission to spend the weekend away from Hogwarts.

Valerie sighed and continued with her morning ritual. She had a train to catch in an hour. It was not the head of her house that escorted her to the platform, but professor McGonagall who squeezed her hand affectionately before she boarded the train, exhibiting warmth that Valerie had never imagined the strict professor possessed. Valerie spent the train ride finishing up her homework and she managed to write down the last phrase of her Transfiguration essay just before she reached her destination.

Her mother was waiting for her when she arrived. Her father, Valerie noted with little surprise, did not bother to come. She was pulled into a tight hug. "It's good to see my baby girl." Her mother cooed.

Valerie gave her a tight smile and they made their way to the hospital. They waited in a white, boorish room for the healer, her mother reading Witch Weekly with almost religious dedication. "Look, they have an article about Hogwarts!" Her mother exclaimed.

Valerie glanced at the tabloid. It was hardly an article, she gathered, quickly noticing the title. "The promising and devastatingly handsome Quidditch players you must know!". Most of the two page article was covered by photos of various members of the Hogwarts house teams, with a few lines about those who were already scouted and sighed for the professional league. As expected a very flattering photo of Potter and Black took most of the second page, their black manes swooped by the wind and both wearing cocky grins. This exact expression usually made her wish she could feed Black dragon dung. While it is still warm and full of aroma.

"Well, isn't Black handsome." Her mother remarked, winking at her.

"Putting aside my unwavering dislike of him, father would have my head if I dated him." Valerie replied flatly.

"He's Pure-blood, from a respected family. " Her mother insisted.

"He was disowned for…associating with a certain crowd." Valerie reminded her.

"He's an adolescent." Her mother countered. "He will understand how silly this little rebellion is. He will return to his senses."

"If he has anything sense, he would never return to his deranged family." Valerie snapped, then visibly paled when her mother stared at her wide-eyed. "Forgive me, mother. I shouldn't have spoken so freely."

It was good timing that the healer called her name and they both entered the exam room. The healer was a short brunette with tremendous amount of energy. She talked fast, and performed complicated spells with dazzling speed, inspecting Valerie from every angle. Her expression was professional and unreadable and once she was done with her inspection she requested both Valerie and her mother to take a seat.

"I'm afraid I have bad news for you." The healer said, scribbling quickly a report. "You're sterile."

"What?!" Her mother cried out. "This cannot be…"

Valerie kept hearing those two words ringing in her ears for a few more seconds. Then the healer continued. "Your ovaries are dysfunctional and your womb…you were born without one."

Valerie vaguely heard her mother continue to protest, and the healer kept assuring her that there was no mistaking. "Unfortunately, this is not unheard of among Pure-blood families. I have seen a few maidens with this condition lately, and I dare say it has genetic reasons."

"Oh well," Valerie said dryly. "Now father would not have to worry that I sully our bloodline."

Valerie was quite wrong assessing her father's reaction. She expected a dismissive indifference, and perhaps a few kinder words to comfort her mother who was way past the phase of hysterics. Valerie seriously considered buying her a calming potion because the sobs were unbearable. Valerie and her mother waited for her father to come to the drawing room to deliver the news. When he heard it, he was furious.

"I knew I should have never let you pursue me to have a third child." Her father said coldly to her mother. "We had two healthy sons, and you had to insist on another one. And look what happened!" He practically yelled, pointing at Valerie without even looking at her.

"As if having something worthless as a daughter is not enough, now she is not even fit to marry." He continued. "I nearly sealed the deal with the Averys and now I would have to break it off. I doubt their son is willing to marry a woman who cannot reproduce. What a shame."

It was a whole new level of hatred and contempt from her father that she had never experienced before. Valerie had no delusions about him loving her, and she knew he had thought of her as a sort of burden, but that was difficult to stomach. Her mother screaming and crying was not helping either. Mustering every bit of her Slytherin pride, Valerie forced on a calm smile, thinking that as least she was saved from marrying that horrendous git Avery. When her father and mother seemed to calm down Valerie had spoken for the first time, reminding them that she was, indeed, in the same room for the whole exchange.

"If I'm unfit to marry, may I please go to study in France after I graduate? I wish to become a potions mistress." Valerie said coolly.

Her father gave her a strange look, as if he noticed she existed for the first time and he was not quite happy about it. "Do whatever you wish." He said dismissively.

Valerie stood up, gave both her parents a polite nod and went to her room. Where she promptly cast a silencing and locking charm and proceeded to destroy every piece of furniture while crying her eyes out. She was so consumed by her tantrum that she collapsed after a while, falling asleep on the floor. She woke up, sore in every cell of her body. Even in her missing womb. By the emptiness in her chest, it seems like her heart went missing too.

Valerie cast a few healing spells on her hands, which were injured when she foolishly punched the mirror. Then she turned her attention to the chaos and distraction that were the rest of her room. "Grumpy!" Valerie said sternly.

A loud pop was heard and wrinkled house elf appeared in her room, concealing poorly his utter shock from the disastrous state of her room. "How can Grumpy help little missus?"

"Would you give me a hand in fixing up the room?" Valerie asked kindly. She was quite fond of the ill-tempered elf.

"Of course, missus." The elf bowed slightly.

After about half an hour of intensive spell work, the room retained an acceptable appearance. The few things they did not manage to fix, Grumpy added to his list and informed her that he would make sure it would be purchased and replaced. After thanking him, Valerie dragged herself to the shower, and then collapsed to bed. In a way that was very unlike her, she slept through most of the weekend. Valerie could do little more than just sob her heart out when she was awake, and sleeping the sadness away seemed like a good idea. Valerie found herself tearing up on the train back to Hogwarts but she put herself together just in time, unwilling to show weakness, certain not in front of her housemates. They would feast on her agony.

Regulus, of course, noticed that something was off with her. They went to sit by the lake, making sure they would not be heard, and Valerie told him everything. Even though he was young, Regulus fully understood the implications of being a barren Pure-blood maiden.

"I don't even know the words to describe how amazing I think you are, Val. And how much I'm grateful that you're my friend. My best friend." Regulus said softly, taking her hand in his. "It doesn't make any difference to me. And it shouldn't make a difference to any person who is truly worth your time."

Valerie smiled at him brightly. "Thanks, Reg."

Regulus gave her a crooked grin. "You're like a sister to me, Val. And since incest is so common among Pure-blood, I'd still marry you. Even if we couldn't…you know." He joked.

Valerie laughed wholeheartedly and flung her arms around him in a crushing hug. Somewhere behind them, another Black was witnessing the affectionate display, with an ugly frown on his face.

March 1978:

"May I sit here?" A pleasant voice tore Valerie from triple-checking her Potions essay. Valerie sighed inwardly. Despite being a Mudblood and Gryffindor Lily Evans was nearly impossible to despise. And yet, sharing a table with her would raise questions Valerie did not feel like answering.

"You may sit here." Valerie pointed at a table just to her right. It was close enough to share notes if they wished, but it was not technically the same table and Valerie could always brush off any accusations.

Evans seemed slightly disappointed, but took a seat in the nearby table nonetheless. They worked quietly until the library was closing, and Evans waved her goodbye when they walked out to the corridor. Valerie gave a short, uncommitted nod. Their joint study sessions became a routine, and while it started out discreet and cautious it became public and formal once they were partnered for their final Potions project.

"So what Severus says is true." Avery said curtly, towering above her, escorted by two of his friends. "You are associating with Mudbloods. You embarrass your family and your house."

Valerie slowly raised her eyes from the essay she was reading, considering if he was even worthy of a response. Goyle probably interpreted her expression as something other than pure aversion. "This is very unlike Valerie. Perhaps she didn't know."

"I assure you, Goyle, that I am well aware of Miss Evans' ….unfortunate…background." Valerie drawled. "However what is expected of me, as a descendant to the noble house of Lestrange, is to excel in my studies, while maintaining my good manners and grace, as a Pure-blood lady should." Valerie continued, her eyes blazing fire. "May I remind you, Gentlemen, that our supremacy must also be demonstrated by our academic superiority and the finesse of our etiquette?"

The three boys were glaring at her, but their mouth remained shut. Valerie was not yet satisfied though. "If I recall correctly, the lot of you are falling far behind those with no magical history, including Miss Evans here. So don't you dare lecture me about embarrassment."

Avery gave her a murderous look, but before he made a move for his wand, Goyle dragged him out of the library. So he was not so dumb after all, Valerie pondered. Meanwhile, Evans was staring at her wide eyed.

"The whole blood supremacy thing…Do you…" Evans looked at her with uncertainty.

"I might." Valerie shrugged. "And I might not. I want to get an 'O' on this project and I don't think my views on blood status will get us closer to achieving that." Valerie asserted with finalization in her voice. And that was the first and last time this subject was discussed.

April 1978:

Ever since Valerie turned thirteen, she used to join her parents and brothers when they visited the Blacks in the holidays. She became friends with Regulus because he was the only one remotely her age, except from Sirius. The older brother was resentful and aloof and left his room only when his parents literally forced him. Later on he would just disappear from the house entirely for days. It was hardly a surprise when he moved in with Potter, although Valerie had to admit it was a rather gutsy decision.

This time however, the Blacks were visiting the Lestrange mansion. Regulus was sitting next to her on the Hogwarts Express, an expression of morbidity on his face.

"Reg? You look like someone set your broom on fire." Valerie remarked.

Regulus sighed. "I got an 'A' in my Transfiguration exam. My father is going to skin me alive."

Valerie took his hand in hers. "Well, I promise to prepare fancy robes from your skin. My mother insists I learn to sew."

Regulus snorted. "That's a very Sirius-like response. I think the Gryffindors are rubbing off on you."

"Harsh accusations!" Valerie exclaimed, placing her hand on her heart.

"Next thing I know, you will be competing against me on the Quidditch field, dressed in gold and red!" Regulus said dramatically.

Valerie chuckled. "Well, that's unlikely."

"You fly better than most of our team, but they would let Potter into the team before they accept a girl." Regulus said bitterly.

"I fly decently, but I couldn't catch the Quaffel to save my life. You know I have zero hand-eye coordination." Valerie reminded him.

"Yeah, you do have issues with brushing your teeth. You never manage to get the toothbrush in your mouth on the first try." Regulus recalled.

Valerie glared at him. "It happens only in the morning."

They arrived to the mansion before the other Blacks arrived, so the formal reception was only due in the evening. It gave them time to unpack and race across the vast land on their brooms, which ended up with Valerie crashing Regulus into a tree because she was willing to do whatever it took to win. She did not take to losing very well. When the evening came they both put on the formal wear they hated with passion, and participated as expected in the social event. It would not have been so horrid if Greyback had not stared at her so intently.

Valerie leaned towards her eldest brother. "Your pet is looking at me like I'm dinner."

While Rodolphus might have rebuked her for speaking so freely, Rabastan merely laughed. "My sister is off limits, Greyback. You're on a strictly Muggle diet for now."

Greyback barred his awfully sharp teeth but averted his hungry eyes away from Valerie. In the drawing room Valerie was forced into a very dull conversation with Narcissa, and it seemed like forever until it was time to retreat to her room. Overall, that evening was an overwhelming success since she managed to avoid Bellatrix.

It was in noon time the following day, Regulus asked her to practice his spells. It was not the first time they trained together, and Valerie led them to a secluded area with soft grass and hay. It provided a soft landing when Regulus cast a full-body binding spell. They tried to disarm each other, and some basic defense spells, but nothing too advanced as Regulus was still in fifth year. They were in high spirits, since Regulus mispronounced a spell for the fourth time, and in a pretty hilarious way.

"You seem to be far behind in your spell casting." A sickeningly sweet voice said, and Valerie's face fell when she noticed Bellatrix twirling her wand. "Let me show you how it's done. CRUCIO!"

Regulus was down to his knees in a millisecond, his face twisted in torture so great he could not even scream. He clenched his chest and curled like an infant on the ground, trying to breathe through the pain. When Valerie realized this torment was not going to end soon, she aimed at Bellatrix. "Impedimenta!"

Bellatrix was thrown back a considerable distance, effectively breaking the curse on Regulus. Something inside Valerie's head told her to go for the kill now, but she was too soft. And she knew she was going to pay for it. Bellatrix got up and brushed the dirt off of her, sending Valerie a crazy grin. Valerie held her wand at ready but she stood no chance and she knew it.

A shower of curses was thrown at her, and Valerie used every defense spell she knew to block it, and when she could not hold the pace, she did not shy from rolling on the ground to dock it. One of her disarming spells managed to slow down Bellatrix for a second and her Confringo burnt a few of the trees but missed by a mile. Valerie took a wild risk with casting Sectumsempra, inwardly thanking Snape for being the Dark Arts freak he was. It was partially effective as Bellatrix was bleeding, but somehow it only made her more amused.

The next spell got Valerie straight in the chest, throwing her back against a tree trunk and knocking the air out of her lungs. Tears were pooling in her eyes because she simply could not breathe, and she could not tell if she was paralyzed or under a binding spell but she could not move a muscle and she panicking. The horror lasted until Bellatrix unhurriedly made her way towards Valerie, and then with a flick of Bellatrix's wand Valerie was breathing again but the pain remained. She could taste blood in her mouth, and dripping on her face.

"You certainly have gals, I'll give you that." Bellatrix smirked wickedly, kneeling down beside her. She roughly inspected Valerie's injuries, healing only the visual ones on her face. "You also seem to be talented in more than just Potions. You still have a long way to go, but if you want to hone your skills I can help you."

Valerie managed to block away the pain for one moment to comprehend what the demented woman said and mumble something in reply. Bellatrix chuckled at the mess that was Valerie at that moment and walked away. Regulus crawled to her, his face white with horror.

"Val? How badly did she hurt you?" Regulus asked, merely above a whisper.

Valerie managed to wave her hand dismissively. "Merlin, Reg. Are you the only one in this demented family who is borderline sane?"

"No, Sirius is also remarkably balanced for a Black." Regulus replied sadly. "I guess you can't choose your family, but you can choose to cut all ties with it."

"Family is an overrated concept." Valerie winked at him. "Friendship, though, is something to be cherished."

Regulus smiled at her warmly, and cautiously pulled her up to stand. They made their way back to the house slowly, with Valerie limping and whimpering, and Regulus carrying her on his back for a bit. But Regulus was a late bloomer, and they were approximately the same size so he put her down after a few moments of heroic effort. Eventually, they managed to get there, and they did it together. Yeah, Valerie thought, they just had to stick together.

June 1978:

"You're going to be brilliant. You're going to wipe off Potter's arrogant smirk." Valerie stated firmly, her hands resting on Regulus' shoulders. She actually had to look up slightly to meet his eyes as he added at least an inch to his height in the last two months. He was finally starting to catch on all of the Black traits. "I know how hard you practiced for this. Today it's going to pay off."

Regulus smiled timidly at her, his face flushed with excitement and his expression betraying some of the pride he felt. "You're exceptionally good in pep-talks. You should give the speech in the locker room instead of our sodding captain."

"Reg, your locker room is the last place I want to be." Valerie said with aversion. Both of them turned to look as the Gryffindor Quidditch team passed them by, making their way to the pitch, looking disgustingly smug and being obnoxiously loud. "Perhaps the second last place." Valerie corrected herself.

Regulus chuckled, pulled her into a quick hug, and went to join his team for the final Quidditch match of the year. Since Valerie was hardly liked among the Slytherins, she preferred not to sit in the Slytherin part of the stands. She made her way to a group of Ravenclaws she was on speaking terms with, and made herself relatively comfortable around people she could actually tolerate. In small doses.

Valerie was hardly an avid Quidditch fan, but she came to all the games to support Regulus. She could not help but smile when they announced his name and he flew into the field, showing off and making a few spins, as well as making a few younger girls gasp and giggle. Valerie, for quite some time, had a nagging feeling that those girls were up to a huge disappointment. It was a thought she hated to dwell on, but she could not help but suspect Regulus was playing for the other team. And it was more for his utter disinterest in girls, than any other solid evidence, but she could not ignore it. Oh, and that time Regulus accidentally admitted Potter was hot. Valerie nearly gagged.

Even without profound knowledge in Quidditch, Valerie could easily tell what was going on in the field. There was that gagging again, seeing the Gryffindors so gleeful. The score was 180:20, about 40 minutes into the game, and Valerie sincerely hoped that this torture would end soon. Something about the Gryffindor team just clicked today, and they played like well-oiled machines, ludicrously unstoppable. The Slytherins fall apart before her eyes, failing at team play and resorting to verbal accusations every time they missed the goals. Valerie could not decide if their goal-keeper was Confundo'd or just drunk. The Gryffindors were literally cleaning the field with them.

Valerie located Regulus high up in the sky, above the field, searching for the Snitch with composure that was admirable. He occasionally checked on Potter, making sure the git did not notice something he missed. The horrid shrieking in her ear tore her from her intense observation of Regulus. Valerie then lowered her eyes and turned her eyes to see a Bludger flying in full speed right towards her. Oh god, this was going to hurts so bloody much.

In a flash of red and gold, something solid blocked the Bludger's collision path with her face, and with a powerful swing of a bat the Bludger was on its way to the other end of the field. Right in front of her, inches from her face really, was sodding Sirius Black in all his glory. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, and sent a charming grin to the girls drooling beside her. Before turning his broom and leaving, he caught her eye and winked at her playfully. The nerve!

"He is the definition of hot." One of the girls shrilled, fanning her hand in front of her face.

"I'd totally take a Bludger to the face to have him smiling my way like that again." Her companion added, and they both giggled.

Valerie nearly vomited right then and there. But then she noticed Regulus was racing straight down to the ground, speeding dangerously towards one of the goal posts, with Potter quick on his tail. For a second Valerie was ready to put good money they were both going to crash into the post's base. Not that she cared about Potter but it seemed like an unnecessary mess. Just before the crash, Regulus threw himself forward over his broom, his shoulder grazing the post, landing messily on the ground, his hand clutched to his chest. Potter averted his broom on the last millisecond, and rolled some distance in the mud until his final stop.

When Regulus raised his fisted hand, there was a murmur in the crowd and then it turned to a roar. Slytherin lost, 190 to 250, but Regulus caught the Snitch. And what a spectacular catch it was. Valerie joined the cheering.

Valerie waited for Regulus near the exit from the locker room. He showed up first, looking conflicted. He was obviously happy for beating Potter but could not celebrate considering the humiliation of his team. "Where's the rest?" Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Trying to drown themselves in the shower?"

Regulus chuckled. "More or less."

"You were fantastic." Valerie said with a soft smile, patting him on the arm that was not bruised. The other one was in an improvised cast after the unfortunate tackle with the post.

"It was a brilliant catch." Someone said behind her, and she turned to see half of the Gryffindor team. Somehow in the ruckus of the after match the loudest bunch in Hogwarts managed to sneak on them. "Good game, mate." Potter said, extending his hand to Regulus.

Valerie measured him with her eyes. Potter appeared like he ate a pile of bat dung with that forced smile, but she could tell by the look in his eyes he really did appreciate Regulus' performance. Regulus side-glanced to make sure there were no Slytherins around before taking Potter's hand and shaking it. "Your team playing was perfect. We have a lot to learn from you." Regulus returned the compliment.

Potter smiled smugly as the captain, and Black, who was standing by his side said grudgingly. "I am the mastermind behind our training plan and strategy, not that I'm ever going to be credited for that." Black sent Potter a dirty look.

Valerie fixed her eyes on him. He did save her from a rather miserable trip to the infirmary, and he accompanied Potter to congratulate Regulus. She was certain it made Regulus feel ten times better. Black stared right back at her while she was weighing her next move, a roguish grin tugging at his lips. Taking two brave strides forward, Valerie stepped into his personal space, placed one hand on his shoulder for leverage, and standing on her toes, she managed to place a quick peck on his cheek.

Valerie stepped back. He was looking at her wide-eyed and color rushed to his face instantly. "Thanks for the Bludger…I rather like my face the way it is." Valerie explained with a small smile.

Black stared at her for a long moment, clearly off balance. "Yeah… I rather like your face the way it is too." He replied in a daze, only realizing what he said after it had already come out.

Regulus was sniggering beside her, and Valerie elbowed him in the ribs on instinct. The rest of the Gryffindors were having a fit, making kissy faces and whistling. Black was nearly crimson, seemingly ready to Avada himself. Valerie was not far behind with embarrassment. Regulus, being the true friend he is, rescued her by remarking that he was starving and led her to the Great Hall. Of course, he did not miss an opportunity to tease her on the way.

"Merlin's balls! Sirius has a huge crush on you. I think it's the best day of my life." Regulus cheered.

"Shut up or it will be your last." Valerie growled.

June 1978:

It was tradition to spend the last weekend before graduation in Hogsmeade. The town was crowded with seventh-years, all inns fully booked, and the bars packed. Valerie had a room reserved for her at the top floor of a nice inn not far away from the Three Broomsticks, with the windows facing to quiet backyard. Valerie was sipping hot chocolate, and reading a historical novel about the Goblin rebellion.

Valerie had a drink with Demy Greengrass sometime earlier in the evening, and they had a pleasant conversation about the life after Hogwarts. Demy had goals, and dreams to chase and Valerie could relate to it. Valerie did not attend the party, firstly because she did not want to and secondly because she was not invited. Her status in Slytherin deteriorated from unpopular to outcast in the last months of the school, where she spent time with Evans working on their project. Which got a perfect 'O', and long list of praises, and then they were chosen to present their project in a world exhibition for student innovators. Overall, Valerie was quite happy with her decisions.

There was a horrid noise that kept getting louder, and Valerie could only describe it as annoyingly Muggle. She was beyond surprised to see Sirius Black hovering outside her window on a metallic vehicle of some sort.

"Lestrange, you wanna go to a concert?" Black yelled over the roaring engine.

"What?" Valerie narrowed her eyes at him, closing her book.

"I got a spare ticket to The Clash concert. Prongs and Lily are already there and my date bailed on me." Black explained.

Valerie stared at him with puzzlement. Was that really happening?

Black took her utter bewilderment as consent. "You should change though," He remarked, pointing at the evening dress she still wore from her meeting with Demy. "I'd recommend wearing pants. One you wouldn't mind being ruined. I'll wait for you down here."

Valerie did not move for a few seconds. Was she really considering going with him? Yes, she was, and it was the perfect opportunity to rebel. Valerie wanted her graduation to be somewhat memorable after all. While weighing the risks and pondering the consequences of being caught in the company of Mudbloods and Blood-traitors in a Muggle event, Valerie unzipped her dress and rampaged through her clothes. She did found a pair of jeans Evans got her for her birthday and she always found too tight and too bloody Muggle to wear. She found one of Regulus' Quidditch training t-shirts with the Slytherin crest printed on it and decided it would have to do.

Outside, Black was leaning on his vehicle, smoking a cigarette. He was wearing tight black jeans that made Valerie blush lightly and appreciate his fine physique against her will. If it was not immodest enough, his shirt was sleeveless and Valerie inwardly noted that unfortunately for Regulus he did not inherit his brother's good looks.

He let out a low whistle when he noticed her. "Not bad for a posh Pure-blood princess."

Valerie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. He dropped the cigarette and mounted the metallic beast. "Get on the bike, and hold on tightly. We are already late."

Valerie mounted behind him, gingerly holding onto his waist, while having as little contact between their bodies as possible. Her attempts to act modest were crushed when Black accelerated the bike considerably, flying high, and Valerie tightened her hold and buried her head in his back. While Valerie had been absolutely mortified about embracing him, Black did not seem to mind at all. If anything, she suspected he made a reckless turn every time her grip loosened.

Black lowered his vehicle to the ground in a secluded area, and then drove on the Muggle roads for a bit before they reached their destination. It seemed like a huge warehouse from the outside and there was a line of people waiting to get inside. Thousands of Muggles were waiting to get in, and Valerie assumed the place can host twice as much. Black grabbed her hand none too gently and dragged her towards the building, bypassing the line and walking straight to the head of it.

"So who bailed on you?" Valerie asked.

"No one, actually. I ditched her. This ticket would have been wasted on her." Black replied casually.

He presented his tickets to a Muggle man who seemed to be somewhat in charge of the chaos. "We're on the list."

The man looked at him with confused expression for a moment before nodding and handing them some sort of tags. Valerie looked at him with astonishment when realized he just Cast a non-verbal and wandless Confundus Charm. Valerie assumed Black was exceptionally talented for managing to become an Animagus at such a young age, but this was brilliant. Black gave her smug smirk and led her inside, to the very first rows near the huge stage.

Someone jumped on her from behind and crushed her in a hug, and luckily Valerie recognized the girly shriek as Evans' or otherwise she would have slaughtered that person. "You came!" Evans exclaimed.

"I was kidnapped." Valerie said dryly.

Before they could continue their chat, the members stepped onto the stage and crowd went berserk. Valerie thought her eardrums were torn, but realized it could handle much, much louder noises when the band began to play. Evans took her place beside Potter, which left Valerie with Black. She was not entirely happy with this arrangement but seeing that Black was rather focused on the show and not on her, it was tolerable.

Valerie tried to take in every little detail about that experience, one she was unlikely to ever repeat. A crowd of thousands was screaming its lungs out behind her, dancing in circles, drinking beverage. There were so many Muggle devices she did not recognize or could not name but she did like the way the lights danced on stage in perfect sync with the music. And the music was what surprised her the most. It did sound like scratchy noises in the beginning but then she felt the rhythm in it and it was exhilarating. Valerie felt her heart pounding quicker and then her leg began to drum to the beat, followed by the rest of her body moving to the music.

Her long moment of observation and appreciation was broken when she felt hand gently wrapped around her own and entwining their fingers. Valerie looked at Black, who was staring intently at the band, screaming the lyrics with passion and pretending like it was not his hand that was holding hers. Valerie glanced to his right, were Evans and Potter were eating each other's faces. When her gaze traveled back to Black, his eyes were on her, and they had a very dangerous quality to them.

Oh no. She was not making out with bloody Sirius Black in goddamned Muggle concert. Although the idea was slowly growing on her.

Black tore his eyes away, focusing on the show again, with the slightest blush on his cheeks. Valerie was relieved and was quite content to examine the whole scenery again. There was so much she did not know about the Muggle world. How sheltered, or should she say confined, her life had been. Valerie barely noticed that Black was standing much closer to her than before since a band member started destroying his instrument, with enthusiastic support from the crowd. Valerie smirked slightly at that display of vandalism, how liberating it must have felt.

It was in that moment the Black decided to let go of her hand, in favor of wrapping a hand around her waist and pulling her against him. Valerie was about to protest but he sent her side-glance that was both coy and cunning and half a smile that made it impossible to be angry with him. Sighing in surrender, Valerie let him hold her. She was still mortified when Evans wiggled her eyebrows at her.

Valerie felt the strangest sense of emptiness inside of her when it was all over. Suddenly it was too quiet, and not bright enough and a bit lonely. It was a great experience to be a part of such large crowd. Black landed his bike in the backyard, and walked her to the entrance. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"I'd say we should do it again, but…" He trailed off.

"…It would never happen." Valerie completed the sentence.

Black stared at her thoughtfully for a long moment. "It doesn't have to be like that." He said quietly. "I got some money from my uncle and I'm moving in to my own place soon. You could stay with me for as long as you like."

Valerie stared at him blankly, was she really hearing that?

"I mean, with your knack for Potions you could get an awesome job and be independent…" Black tried to convince her, of what, she was not sure herself.

Valerie gave him a small smile. As ludicrous as the offer was, it was nice to have someone thinking she could make it on her own. "I can't leave Regulus." She said softly.

Black's expression darkened. "Do you…Do you have romantic feelings towards my brother?"

Valerie nearly gagged. "Merlin, no!" She cried out. "But it's like you have Prongs, and Moony and Wormtail…I have…I have… Whiskers." She finished with a sad smiled.

Black appeared confused for a moment before bursting into a hearty laughter. "They still have that picture?"

Valerie nodded. The picture of 9-year old Regulus dressed as an adorable rabbit was still hanging in the drawing room for all guests to see. "Your mom Charmed it to the wall since Regulus repeatedly tried to take it off."

Black wore a nostalgic expression for a moment, one that made his face look dramatically younger, and softer. Valerie found it quite lovely. He looked back at her, taking a step closer to her, into her personal space. His hand reached to tug a stray curl behind her ear, and the back of his hand lightly brushed her cheek. She was certain she quit breathing. Black seemed to lean in the slightest bit before he stopped himself, looking somewhat frustrated, and dropped his hand to his side.

"I guess it goodbye then." He sighed.

"Yeah." Was all Valerie could say at that intense moment.

Black shrugged his shoulders, as if a response to some inner debate he was having, and turned away from her. He mounted his bike, sending her last glance and started the engine. In a few seconds she lost his track in the sky. Not quite sure why, this ending left her unsatisfied. She should have stayed and finished that novel instead.

December 1978:

Life after Hogwarts was every bit what she expected them to be, and then some more. Perhaps it was Paris that made Wizarding London pale in comparison to the galore of the magical French capital. Or the fact that Valerie was pursuing her passions ans chasing her dreams, openly and candidly, like she was never permitted to do in the past. It could also be attributed to the fact that she was as far from her family as a world connected by Portkeys and Apparition allowed. Valerie was happy. Ridiculously so.

While she had not associated with the elder Black again, that night had sparked her little rebellion. Valerie would have never admit it to her family, not even under Veritaserum, but after she discovered Muggle Paris, she could not get enough. She found it to be brimming with different kind of magic. The fashion, the history, the architecture that reflected both. The liberalism, the equality, the tolerance exhibited by the people. Valerie, for the first time in her life, was treated as a person. Not as a Pure-blood, or a Slytherin, or a woman. But as a person who is very capable of Potionary, speaks a rather poor French and has an awkward sense of style.

Valerie's professors were wholly supportive of her passion and gave her freedom to explore and a guiding hand when she was lost in the overwhelming flow of information. Her peers were surprisingly patient when she lacked the words to express her thoughts, and offered their help in breaking down the language barrier. With their willingness and Valerie's stubbornness, it shattered in a record time. As for her questionable taste in clothes, Leon quickly remedied it.

Meeting with Leon was a turning point not only for Valerie's fashion sense and social life, but also for Regulus. Valerie introduced them to each other on one of Regulus' visits, and eventually it led to very dramatic confession. Valerie had seen Regulus' eyes linger on boys much more often than on girls, and with Leon being the heartthrob he was, it was only natural for Regulus to notice him. It had been after the third or fourth evening they spent together - Valerie, Regulus, Leon and a few other devastatingly handsome, and luckily for Valerie, straight friends.

Regulus was staring at a cup of tea, slouching on a chair in the kitchen of her modest apartment. "My mother brought up the marriage issue again."

"Aren't you excited to continue the line of deluded inbred bigots?" Valerie teased him.

Regulus gave her a dark glare. "It's just that all of those girls are so..."

"Plain? Shallow? Bitchy?" Valerie guessed when Regulus trailed off.

"Unattractive." Regulus confessed at last, giving her a meaningful stare.

"You fancy boys." Valerie stated casually.

"Yeah, I guess." Regulus confirmed, his eyes cast low. "You don't seem surprised."

"Reg, you told you think Potter was hot." Valerie chuckled. "And as close as we were, I have never heard you talk about girls. That's unusual for a teenage boy."

Regulus raised his eyes to meet hers. "You never said anything."

"I figured you would talk to me when you were ready." Valerie replied truthfully.

"You're not...repulsed...by my preferences?" Regulus inquired.

Valerie rolled her eyes. "I was grossed out of my mind when you had a crush on Potter. Because it was fucking Potter." Valerie drawled, her expression twisted with disgust. "But I really don't mind. I can vouch for Leon, he's a great guy. Easy on the eyes too, and I heard from sources that he's not half bad in the sa-"

Valerie's enthusiastic speech about Leon's qualities was cut of when an adoringly blushing Regulus shoved a sweet bun into her mouth to shut her up. They laughed for a few moments, but Regulus' relief was soon replaced by morbidness.

"My family will never accept it." He whispered.

"You don't need them." Valerie said sternly, reaching out for his hand. "You can stay here."

"I can't leave. He'll find me." Regulus said, gripping his left arm, where he was marked.

Valerie sat in silence, watching her tormented friend with utter helplessness. "I hate everything back at home. I hate how He treats his followers. I hate what He makes me do. I hate that I have to take orders from Him." Regulus spat, angry and trapped. "I don't know for how much longer I can carry on with this facade."

Valerie looked at him worriedly. It was hardly the first time Regulus complained about the Dark Lord, but she had never heard him so fed up, so close to breaking. And knowing the lot he was involved with, and the implications of disobedience, so suicidal. "I can only offer you a sanctuary here, Reg. When things get too much..."

When Regulus looked at her she could see resolve forming in his eyes, and it concerned her. But it was far less frightening than the sad smile he sent her, the expression of complete acceptance on his gaunt face. "Thanks, Val. You're the best."

Regulus hugged her before he left, and Valerie stayed wide awake for many hours later, her thoughts keeping her long after sunrise. She tried to come up with something to help Regulus but ended up with nothing. It was too late, he was far too deep, and Valerie had cut all the connections she had long ago. After that night, every time Regulus hugged her goodbye, she hugged him like it was the last time.

September 1979:

Valerie was utterly surprised by the invitation to James and Lily's wedding. While their marriage was the most natural thing in the world, inviting her was quite outrageous. The war had escalated a year ago, with rapid loses on both sides, and although Valerie did not set foot in England since she graduated Hogwarts, she honestly doubted she would be welcomed. Not to mention Regulus would have her head if he heard that she returned to their homeland against his constant pleas and warnings.

But Valerie had been in Paris since the bloodshed began, and although she heard frequently from Regulus and occasionally through the Wizarding news in France, she could not imagine how bad it really was. Lily never mentioned any of it in her letters and Valerie assumed Regulus was being overdramatic. It was a Black trait, after all. She knew, of course, how vicious the Death Eaters could be, but she never realized how many of them the Dark Lord had managed to assemble.

It was quite a hassle, filing all those documents to the British embassy just to get a Portkey. The employees seemed unreasonably suspicious at times, and then awfully forgetful at others, like their minds where somewhere else. It took her nearly a month to arrange everything and Valerie nearly missed the wedding due to the tiresome bureaucracy. In a little black dress she purchased in Muggle Paris just a week before, Valerie walked through the gates of the large mansion. It had been, for hundreds of years, the home of the Longbottoms, a pure blood family that her father loathed with passion. Valerie was asked for the invitation at the entrance and once the charms were confirmed, no more questions were asked.

There was a small reception at the garden, and she recognized many of the faces, among them a few Hogwarts professors. Valerie was thankful she had cast a minor spell that had made her mostly unnoticed. Although it was a wedding, the atmosphere was not quite cheerful, and something thick and suffocating polluted the air. Her thoughts returning to the disarray in the embassy, Valerie wondered if perhaps she had underestimated the severity of the situation. Faces that ought to have been there, celebrating with Lily and James, were missing, and Valerie tried to recall if she heard their names among the casualties.

Lily and James prepared their own vows, and Valerie actually found them quite beautiful, and not cheesy at all. Perhaps having a devastatingly handsome Black as a best man added to the appeal of the ceremony. Valerie was not an avid fan of his at school, but she had to admit he gained some maturity that was clearly visible in the harsh lines of his face and it suited him very well. Also, having him wear proper clothes and not the rags he used to wear in his youth was refreshing.

Valerie waited a while after they had their first dance together, and people either danced or grabbed a snack in the buffet, leaving the couple for a few moments. Valerie approached them gingerly, hoping to congratulate them quickly and leave, but Black was standing beside James. Deciding that a better moment would not present itself, she walked bravely to Lily, removing the charm. Lily gaped for a moment, and then threw her arms around her in a tight hug.

"I can't believe you came!" Lily exclaimed.

"Me neither." Valerie replied frankly.

Potter gave her a long, measuring look. "We're glad you're here." He said eventually, and it actually sounded genuine.

Valerie smiled faintly, achingly aware that Black was boldly staring at her. "Well, congratulations." Valerie fished a small vial from her hand bag. "I got you a wedding present. If you ever want to spice things up between the two of you…drink it together."

It was her second year into advanced Potions studies, and Valerie had profound knowledge in a few areas. Granted, aphrodisiacs were not her expertise, but this one was a rather simple potion. Lily blushed a thousand shades of pink and Potter let out a hearty laugh and snatched the vial, hiding it in his pocket.

Black's leering had only intensified, and Valerie was getting increasingly uncomfortable. "I never thought you were that kinky." Potter teased her.

Valerie smirked. "My passion and willingness to experiment are not limited to Potions."

A noise that sounded like a mix of a growl and cough made her turn her attention to Black. His grey eyes were fixated on her with unnerving concentration and the faintest trace of pink colored his cheeks.

"Black." Valerie acknowledged him curtly.

His mane of black hair shook slightly when he snapped out of his trance. He appeared confused and tongue-tied and very much unlike himself and that was actually quite adorable, since Valerie was not fond of his cocky usual self. "Would you like to dance?" He blurted.

Perhaps it was the shock, or the delighted expressions on Potter and Lily's faces, but Valerie found herself agreeing. Black was a good dancer, he had dancing lessons like any other Pure-Blood boy, and it was not as awkward as she expected. He held her at the waist and her palm, the distance between them sufficient to make her comfortable and yet close enough for their moves to be fluid. The tempo of the song was slow, and they swirled around the room, Valerie feeling brave enough to keep the eye contact until the last note was played. Black did not let go of her when the song ended, and when the next one came it was slightly faster, and he held her just a little bit closer. Valerie was fine with that, somehow.

When they were both a bit flushed, and it had nothing to do with embarrassment, Valerie allowed him to lead her to the balcony. They were quiet for a while, enjoying the cool breeze, and the whole situation seemed utterly surreal to Valerie.

"I was too much of an asshole to tell you this when we were in school." Black broke the silence. "But I really appreciate what you did for my brother."

Valerie turned to look at him, surprise showing on her face. "It was nothing. Regulus was, still is, a friend to me. Perhaps my best friend."

"I'm…I'm glad he had you." Black said, slowly, thoughtfully. He had indeed matured, as his features indicated. "I do wonder sometimes if I could do more for him. I suppose I could…but I had to leave. I couldn't stand one more second in that rotten house."

Valerie chuckled. "Honestly, I am grateful you weren't an obedient, proper Pure-Blood boy. Our parents had conspired to wed us."

Black turned his body fully to face her, gawking at her wide-eyed. "You're shitting me."

"Am not." Valerie replied, grinning. "They were seriously contemplating it until you ran away."

"Us? Together?" Black whispered, but for some reason Valerie heard him perfectly well. "I wonder how it would have been like."

"A disaster." Valerie stated, suddenly noticing the many different shades in his irises. It was mostly grey, but there were also greens and dark blues. Was her cheek so cold or was his hand searing hot? She could not quite tell at the moment.

"Yeah." Black murmured and then his lips were on hers, and they were warm and gentle, albeit chopped. Valerie suddenly realized her hands were on his chest and then up to slightly tug on his soft hair, and he was holding her close and yet it was very timid and uncertain. Nothing like how she imagined kissing Black would be. Not that she ever imagined that, of course.

His tongue lightly grazed her lips and she parted them just enough to allow him a cautious, attentive exploration of her mouth. Her thumb brushed over his high cheekbone, earning a poorly concealed purr, and Valerie could not say how long it lasted until they broke apart for air. Valerie inhaled deeply a few times to compensate for the luck of oxygen, taking in Black's musky scent as well. He did smell somewhat like a dog, and he behaved much like one, rubbing his cheek against her palm. Valerie felt feeble vibrations against her chest, and it was distinctively different than her pounding heartbeat.

Valerie broke their embrace, realizing the source was the Portkey in the chain clutch bag that was set to take her back just then. Black stared at her, completely puzzled by whatever happened between them.

"He really misses you, you know." She whispered, and then she touched the Portkey and she felt that unpleasant pull in her navel and suddenly she was back in Paris.

December 1979:

It was not a surprise. When Regulus' visits became hurried and sparse, and his demeanor betrayed how desperate and hopeless he had turned, Valerie knew. But when her mother wrote to her of his death, it hurt nonetheless. And it made her angry. Angry enough to return to England, and visit his grave despite how reckless it was. Angry enough to seriously consider taking a side in that war, to avenge him.

The winter was harsh, and the snow covered the graveyard, sending chills down her spine and in her bones. The exposed skin of her face was pinkish and stinging from the cold wind, but the stings she felt in her heart was far more painful. Valerie unconsciously clenched her fists, raging that he was buried in a regular cemetery, like a nameless commoner, and not in the family estate like tradition dictated.

Standing before his grave, the tears poured freely, warm and salty and quickly turning into a thin layer of frost on her face. Valerie knew nothing of the circumstances in which Regulus died. Her mother was never told and her brothers refused to answer her. Their silence, and the disrespectful burial had told her that Regulus had lost the favor of the Dark Lord. Whether he openly defied him, or simply was punished for failure, she did not know.

Even with eyes filled with tears, Valerie still noticed the big black dog watching her from behind the oak tree. She allowed her eyes to linger on it long enough to tell that she knew exactly who it was, and turned around towards the nearby grove. It was not long after that she heard footsteps, and a hand on her shoulder made her turn and meet a familiar face.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you." Valerie replied coldly. "A Death-Eater's grave is hardly a place for the Order's members."

Grey eyes flashed with alarm, but his expression betrayed nothing else. "What I meant is, that you shouldn't have come to England. Not now."

"I don't take orders from you. Or from anyone else." Valerie crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

Black eyed her cautiously. "But you heed to friendly advises. He wouldn't want you to risk yourself."

it was true, and Valerie was childishly pissed at the elder brother for saying it. "I have very little to loose."

His hands grabbed her coat with urgency and his expression was now bare and downright daunting. "You have your freedom, and the safety of your mother. These could be taken from you in an instant."

Valerie glared at him evenly, her wand poking at his covered midsection. "Stop manhandling me, Sirius. Given my background, I'm hardly intimidated by male aggression."

Black let go of her immediately, letting his hands drop to his sides. "I need you to understand how grave the situation is." He nearly pleaded. "Given your background, and your skills, you are likely to be recruited. Dear aunt Bella offered you as a candidate for marking, more than once."

His words had clear effect on Valerie, who stared at him wide-eyed and speechless. She was certain he was not bluffing. "You have someone in the inner circle."

Black did not deny nor confirm. "In times like this, when spies are not uncommon, and loyalties are questioned daily...we can't afford to trust anyone."

The Order of the Phoenix was not an option, that was clear. Valerie sighed. "I see."

Black seemed remorseful but she knew it was hardly his decision. "I need you to leave. Right now. I will come for you when it's all over." He promised, watching her intently.

Valerie simply nodded, putting her trust in the brother of her most beloved friend. She did not have much choice anyway. Black took a step forward, relieved but noticeably nervous altogether. His gloved hands cupped her face and he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, and a second later a black dog was dashing away in the snowy forest.

December 1981:

Needless to say, Sirius did not keep his promise. Valerie returned to England shortly after the war ended, when the Wizarding community was trying, almost pathetically, to pick up the pieces and heal the still bleeding wound in the heart of the kingdom. Valerie came back just in time to see her family torn apart, with her father's death and the imprisonment of her two brothers. She found small condolence in the fact that Bellatrix was sentenced for life along with her brothers. In all honesty, the lose of her family effected her much less than the deaths of the Potters. And the scandal with Sirius.

Valerie found herself in a dusty shack on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, staring darkly into a cracked glass full of Fire-Whiskey. "What you tell me makes very little sense, Lupin."

"But that's the way it is." Came a bitter answer, from a man that looked so different than the boy she remembered from school. "They found Peter's finger, that's all that was left of him."

Valerie snorted. "Black was a capable wizard. If he wanted to kill Peter there was not need to blow the whole place up."

"Don't ask me to explain the thought pattern of a Death-Eater." Lupin said flatly.

"That's a harsh accusation. Towards someone who was your friends for a decade." Valerie remarked dryly.

"Sirius was the Secret-Keeper." Lupin stressed. "The only way Voldemort was able to locate James and Lily was if Sirius explicitly gave him the information. People who hand their best friends to Voldemort are considered Death-Eaters, as far as I'm concerned."

There was a long silence, allowing Valerie to contemplate. "I suppose I cannot argue with the facts. But it still doesn't fit his character one bit."

"I start to question how much I really knew him." Lupin confessed sadly.

"Did you ever question how much you knew Peter? I always thought he turned into rat for a reason." Valerie drawled.

Lupin chuckled dryly. "Peter did have the undignified quality of only associating himself with people of power. He secretly scorned me, but was wise enough to hide it from Sirius and James." Lupin took a sip from his drink. "And yet, I don't think he didn't have it in him...to sacrifice Lily and James."

"And Sirius did?" Valerie countered.

"Sirius changed dramatically during the war. He became less trusting. Cold and distant, with frequent outbursts that turned more and more violent. He would disappear for hours, sometimes days afterwards." Lupin shared, eying his glass thoughtfully. "We had a distinct feeling he was hiding something for us. He reacted savagely whenever we tried to talk to him about it."

"I think he spent quite a lot of time in his Animagus form, in the graveyard where Regulus was buried." Valerie speculated. "I saw him shortly after Regulus' death."

Lupin seemed genuinely surprised. "Are you sure it was him?"

"Considering he changed to human form and spoke to me, I'd say I'm pretty sure about it." Valerie informed him.

"What did he say?" Lupin placed his glass on the table, giving her his full attention.

"He asked me to stay away from England."

Lupin gave a bark of laughter. "I suppose he wanted to have one worry less. He did fancy you for the longest time." Lupin revealed, giving her half a smile. "I figured at some point that much of his bitterness originated from witnessing the happiness James and Lily found in each other, while he struggled with his unrequited infatuation."

Valerie did not bother to hide her shock. Firstly, she was startled that Sirius had genuine feelings for her. Secondly, she was overwhelmed by the realization that she actually had feelings for him.

Valerie often found herself reminiscing on the time they spent together with bittersweet nostalgia, and a silly hope that made her cringe, that they might have a chance to create more moments like these. None of the kisses Valerie received by handsome French guys has ever measured up to kiss she shared with Sirius on the Lily's and James' wedding. And there is was, her pathetic reluctance to accept that Sirius was able to commit something so foul.

"It wasn't unrequited." Valerie merely whispered, causing Lupin to raise his eyebrows as far as they went.

A\N: Might be continued. I like to please my crowd :)