TITLE: Vegetative State
AUTHOR: Devanie Maxwell
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: SDA, G/S UST
SPOILERS: Burden of Proof
SUMMARY: Grissom is dismissive; Sara wants to leave. Was it the plant or Catherine who turned things around?
DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance Atlantis productions. No infringement intended.
***************************
He was going to do it.
Catherine had intended her little speech to Grissom as a wake up call. A couple drinks added to her frustration with his obtuseness and it came out more like a incoherent rant. To her own ears, at least. She expected him to do just what he had asked her to do--Move on. Instead he simply nodded. She didn't know what he was planning, all Catherine knew was that she had known Grissom for a very long time and could count on one hand the number of times she had seen that expression on his face. Not a look of defeat; that wouldn't hold any satisfaction for her at all. Instead she saw both realization and concession. She didn't mean realization in terms of his not knowing what affect his actions could have on the staff. It was more about facing the fact that he had put up barriers around himself. She had grown accustomed to it; so had the majority of the unit. It was Grissom--he said little, shared less. She knew underneath he cared. His trouble was just reconciling that with the profession. Her issues with his apparent obliviousness never extended past mild irritation anymore. She regarded it as a quirk. Not everyone did.
She had come to his apartment tonight not because he asked her to, although he had. She came to talk about the one thing she knew was probably Grissom's reason for inviting her--Sara. They just had two very different reasons.
***********
She had found Sara in the locker room; her back facing the door. She sat motionless, her head pointed down at the floor. From her vantage point she thought she was sleeping until the younger woman turned, hearing her entrance. Catherine was troubled to see her eyes were rimmed with red. She was about to inquire why when Sara stood hastily and walked to her locker across the small room.
"Hey," she said, her attention on the combination lock in her palm.
"Everything alright, Sara?" Catherine noted her decidedly tense body language.
"Yeah. Great!" Sara offered with forced lightness. She was still struggling with the lock, the trembling in her hand almost imperceptible. Finally the locker popped open. Sara grabbed her bag and with a quick, tense smile, walked past her. She was at the door when Catherine tried again.
"Wait." She watched as Sara stopped in the doorway, but didn't turn around. Catherine continued: "Something's obviously bothering you. You don't have to tell me what. Just know I'm here if you need to talk."
Sara's shoulders fell and she turned to face her colleague. Her eyes were damp and she looked worn down. She barely changed expression when she dropped the bombshell. "I'm leaving."
Catherine's eyes widened with shock. "You're what?" she asked increduously.
"I'm leaving Las Vegas. I just submitted my leave of absence." Sara looked as though she was striving for matter-of-fact. She managed to pull off a sort of badly feigned indifference.
"Leave? For how long? Does Grissom know about this?" Catherine watched as Sara's eyes clouded for an instant before she cast them downward again.
"He was the first one I told. He's in charge, after all."
Something about the way Sara had said the last part of her statement made Catherine take pause. Her voice held a tinge of bitterness, something that she had never heard from Sara in association with Grissom. She took a chance:
"Does this have something to do with him?"
"No!" Sara said, too hastily. "I'm just going to explore my options. I've been interested in pursuing something in the government. Maybe try for a position with the CDC."
Catherine noticed that Sara had not made eye contact once during the explanation. Her gaze was fixed on the walls, the floor; anywhere but her. "Well, I hope you know we'll all support you, but make you have thought this through. You're an asset here and we'll miss you." She offered a smile, hoping Sara would return one in kind. She didn't.
"Thank you." Sara's eyes were now more red than they had been earlier, but her face remained a mask. "I'd better go." She offered Catherine a quick smile and turned, walking briskly towards the exit.
"Why do you think Grissom asked you to come here?"
The question had come from her lips unbidden, but she was glad it did. She got the first discernable reaction she had given her since the conversation had began. Catherine was pushing her buttons and Sara knew it.
"Excuse me?"
"Why did Grissom bring you here? Why you and not any of the other people he's worked with?"
Sara didn't hesitate. "He likes my work. He called and said this unit was short and he needed someone with a physics background. He knew that about me from when we worked together in California. And there was the whole Warrick thing..."
Catherine knew how to take an opportunity when it was given to her. "Yes, he called you in to help with his investigation. Why?"
"What are you getting at, Catherine?" Sara looked frustrated now. "And when did this become about Grissom? This isn't about him; it's about me."
"Before you came to this lab Grissom told us about you. To be honest, we weren't thrilled. I'm sure you got that."
Sara gave her first genuine smile of the night. "Yeah."
Catherine continued. "Anyways, prior to your arrival Grissom told us he was calling you here. He wanted you to fill the void left by Holly because in his words you were 'a friend and he trusted' you. Sara, I've known him for a very long time and I can remember very few times he's referred to anyone as a friend."
Sara lifted her eyes, clearly interested now. Her words were striking a chord. "What are you saying?"
"What I'm saying is: No matter how oblivious he can be, however dismissive he appears, don't underestimate your role in his life. I don't know the extent of whatever has happened between you two. All I know is that he's better for your having been here. You work well together. You've taught him more about being politic in one year than I have in twenty. He finds excuses to work with you. He'd deny that if I ever accused him of that, but that doesn't make it less true."
Somewhere in Catherine's last speech Sara had begun to brighten perceptibly. It was subtle, but her eyes no longer held the remnants of tears. Catherine finished: "Just think it over. I can't promise you he'll change overnight. Hell, I can't promise that we won't be having this conversation again. I can promise you that things aren't always as they appear. I'll leave you with that."
With that she left the room, passing Sara on the way. She patted her arm in support. Sara smiled weakly in response. She hoped what she had said was enough to hold off what could only be inevitable unless she could get through to Grissom.
*********
Now she watched as he picked up the phone, thumbing through the Grissom equivalent of the little black book. Her face broke out in a grin involuntarily. Grabbing her drink from the counter she went to the next room, feigning interest in the view from the window.
"...a plant. A livng plant. She likes vegetation."
Catherine didn't know where it would lead. She didn't know if his gesture would be successful. She just knew that what would be a small step for any other man was tantamount to a giant leap for Grissom. She had started her conversation with Grissom tonight as a way of pointing out his insensitivity to in a professional sense. He ended it with something that was, for him, very personal.
Her job was done.
FIN
AUTHOR: Devanie Maxwell
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: SDA, G/S UST
SPOILERS: Burden of Proof
SUMMARY: Grissom is dismissive; Sara wants to leave. Was it the plant or Catherine who turned things around?
DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance Atlantis productions. No infringement intended.
***************************
He was going to do it.
Catherine had intended her little speech to Grissom as a wake up call. A couple drinks added to her frustration with his obtuseness and it came out more like a incoherent rant. To her own ears, at least. She expected him to do just what he had asked her to do--Move on. Instead he simply nodded. She didn't know what he was planning, all Catherine knew was that she had known Grissom for a very long time and could count on one hand the number of times she had seen that expression on his face. Not a look of defeat; that wouldn't hold any satisfaction for her at all. Instead she saw both realization and concession. She didn't mean realization in terms of his not knowing what affect his actions could have on the staff. It was more about facing the fact that he had put up barriers around himself. She had grown accustomed to it; so had the majority of the unit. It was Grissom--he said little, shared less. She knew underneath he cared. His trouble was just reconciling that with the profession. Her issues with his apparent obliviousness never extended past mild irritation anymore. She regarded it as a quirk. Not everyone did.
She had come to his apartment tonight not because he asked her to, although he had. She came to talk about the one thing she knew was probably Grissom's reason for inviting her--Sara. They just had two very different reasons.
***********
She had found Sara in the locker room; her back facing the door. She sat motionless, her head pointed down at the floor. From her vantage point she thought she was sleeping until the younger woman turned, hearing her entrance. Catherine was troubled to see her eyes were rimmed with red. She was about to inquire why when Sara stood hastily and walked to her locker across the small room.
"Hey," she said, her attention on the combination lock in her palm.
"Everything alright, Sara?" Catherine noted her decidedly tense body language.
"Yeah. Great!" Sara offered with forced lightness. She was still struggling with the lock, the trembling in her hand almost imperceptible. Finally the locker popped open. Sara grabbed her bag and with a quick, tense smile, walked past her. She was at the door when Catherine tried again.
"Wait." She watched as Sara stopped in the doorway, but didn't turn around. Catherine continued: "Something's obviously bothering you. You don't have to tell me what. Just know I'm here if you need to talk."
Sara's shoulders fell and she turned to face her colleague. Her eyes were damp and she looked worn down. She barely changed expression when she dropped the bombshell. "I'm leaving."
Catherine's eyes widened with shock. "You're what?" she asked increduously.
"I'm leaving Las Vegas. I just submitted my leave of absence." Sara looked as though she was striving for matter-of-fact. She managed to pull off a sort of badly feigned indifference.
"Leave? For how long? Does Grissom know about this?" Catherine watched as Sara's eyes clouded for an instant before she cast them downward again.
"He was the first one I told. He's in charge, after all."
Something about the way Sara had said the last part of her statement made Catherine take pause. Her voice held a tinge of bitterness, something that she had never heard from Sara in association with Grissom. She took a chance:
"Does this have something to do with him?"
"No!" Sara said, too hastily. "I'm just going to explore my options. I've been interested in pursuing something in the government. Maybe try for a position with the CDC."
Catherine noticed that Sara had not made eye contact once during the explanation. Her gaze was fixed on the walls, the floor; anywhere but her. "Well, I hope you know we'll all support you, but make you have thought this through. You're an asset here and we'll miss you." She offered a smile, hoping Sara would return one in kind. She didn't.
"Thank you." Sara's eyes were now more red than they had been earlier, but her face remained a mask. "I'd better go." She offered Catherine a quick smile and turned, walking briskly towards the exit.
"Why do you think Grissom asked you to come here?"
The question had come from her lips unbidden, but she was glad it did. She got the first discernable reaction she had given her since the conversation had began. Catherine was pushing her buttons and Sara knew it.
"Excuse me?"
"Why did Grissom bring you here? Why you and not any of the other people he's worked with?"
Sara didn't hesitate. "He likes my work. He called and said this unit was short and he needed someone with a physics background. He knew that about me from when we worked together in California. And there was the whole Warrick thing..."
Catherine knew how to take an opportunity when it was given to her. "Yes, he called you in to help with his investigation. Why?"
"What are you getting at, Catherine?" Sara looked frustrated now. "And when did this become about Grissom? This isn't about him; it's about me."
"Before you came to this lab Grissom told us about you. To be honest, we weren't thrilled. I'm sure you got that."
Sara gave her first genuine smile of the night. "Yeah."
Catherine continued. "Anyways, prior to your arrival Grissom told us he was calling you here. He wanted you to fill the void left by Holly because in his words you were 'a friend and he trusted' you. Sara, I've known him for a very long time and I can remember very few times he's referred to anyone as a friend."
Sara lifted her eyes, clearly interested now. Her words were striking a chord. "What are you saying?"
"What I'm saying is: No matter how oblivious he can be, however dismissive he appears, don't underestimate your role in his life. I don't know the extent of whatever has happened between you two. All I know is that he's better for your having been here. You work well together. You've taught him more about being politic in one year than I have in twenty. He finds excuses to work with you. He'd deny that if I ever accused him of that, but that doesn't make it less true."
Somewhere in Catherine's last speech Sara had begun to brighten perceptibly. It was subtle, but her eyes no longer held the remnants of tears. Catherine finished: "Just think it over. I can't promise you he'll change overnight. Hell, I can't promise that we won't be having this conversation again. I can promise you that things aren't always as they appear. I'll leave you with that."
With that she left the room, passing Sara on the way. She patted her arm in support. Sara smiled weakly in response. She hoped what she had said was enough to hold off what could only be inevitable unless she could get through to Grissom.
*********
Now she watched as he picked up the phone, thumbing through the Grissom equivalent of the little black book. Her face broke out in a grin involuntarily. Grabbing her drink from the counter she went to the next room, feigning interest in the view from the window.
"...a plant. A livng plant. She likes vegetation."
Catherine didn't know where it would lead. She didn't know if his gesture would be successful. She just knew that what would be a small step for any other man was tantamount to a giant leap for Grissom. She had started her conversation with Grissom tonight as a way of pointing out his insensitivity to in a professional sense. He ended it with something that was, for him, very personal.
Her job was done.
FIN