Finger Lickin' Good
Sirius Black came tumbling through the door of number 12 Grimauld Place, his arms laden with various bags. He had been instructed to do the shopping by Snape who had been staying at his house for summer vacation, the two of them having been together for some time now. Sirius vaguely wondered why Snape hadn't returned to his own house for the summer instead of being an over-bearing house-maid.
Since Snape had moved in, the house was always spotless and the cooking was always
done for him. Despite his poor-looking personal hygiene, Professor Snape was a neat-
freak. The first time he had walked into the house he sneered more than usual as he
walked from room to room and found every flaw in each one. These books aren't orderly,
that rug is bumpy, there's dust on everything, blah blah blah. He hadn't shut up. He had been
marginally better about it after Sirius and the boys had cleaned it up as best as they could
but to him it just wasn't enough. They had had an amazing row over it the first night he had
actually moved in that summer and Sirius had found himself shouting 'Well if it bothers you
so damn much, then fix it up yourself!'.
That was the final nail in the coffin. Snape had needed no more invitation and the next morning Sirius woke up to an interesting sight, He had stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Snape wearing an apron, his billowing robes forgotten for a pair of tattered jeans, a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a kerchief over his hair. Sirius had stood stunned in the doorway for a few moments, taking it all in, when Snape had turned around and glared at him.
"What?" He looked very offended indeed when Sirius' face screwed up in a constrained effort not to burst out laughing. He had excused himself from the room and gone into the one on the other side of the hallway to let it out. Snape heard him quite clearly through the walls and only Mrs.Black's screaching portrait managed to drown some of it out.
This process occured three times until Snape grabbed the front of Black's nightshirt before he could leave again and slammed his head into the wall, effectively knocking him out for some time. He could have used a stunning spell, but it seemed too nice. Sirius was left on the floor to wake up to the smell of bacon and pancakes.
Groggily he stood up and slumped into a chair, a plate of the afore-mentioned food being placed down in front of him. He looked up to see Snape turning away and then coming back with two glasses of juice, placed one in front of Sirius and then sat down at the table opposite him.
That was the beginning of his summer. Nothing had changed since, besides the fact that he learned not to laugh at Snape's 'cleaning clothes'. As he walked into the kitchen he covered up a small chortle with a cough and placed the bags on the kitchen counter. Snape ignored the cough and began unpacking the bags while Sirius pulled out plates and cutlery, setting the table. Snape raised an eyebrow.
"What are you doing, Black? I haven't made dinner yet." Sirius grinned, even though they were now declared a couple Snape rarely called him by his given name. That didn't stop him from using nick-names and other various things though, if only because it either annoyed him or made him blush when they had company.
"Because, Sevvy-darling, I brought home dinner so you wouldn't have to cook tonight!" Sirius took two of the bags that hadn't been unpacked yet and put them on the kitchen table, removing the contents to reveal a large red and white bucket with the picture of a mans face on on it. Severus sniffed the contents, they smelled both delicious and slightly sickening at the same time. Too much grease, he thought.
Sirius took the lid off the bucket, revealing the contents to be highly seasoned and breaded chicken of various shapes and sizes. He pulled other, smaller boxes out from the other bags and opened them as well. When he was finished it looked like he had knocked over an entire KFC. On the table were potato slads, chicken breasts and drumsticks, popcorn chicken, those really yummy boneless wings they had for a while, coleslaw, fries and drumsticks. There were also several cans of soft drinks set out as well.
Snape looked at the spread and wrinkled his nose. "Why on earth would you buy so much? What are you feeding? An army?"
Sirius grinned. "Well, you, me, Remus is coming over, and one teenaged boy! I'd say that between the lot of us there's going to be very few leftovers." A thumping noise was heard from upstairs followed by the sound of hurried feet coming downstairs. Harry poked his head in the kitchen.
"Do I smell KFC?" Snape looked at him incredulously.
"Do you have radar for junkfood, Potter? You were on the third floor!" Harry grinned sheepishly. The smell of KFC was hard to mistake with anything and it was generally a very powerful smell at that. Honestly, you could smell it from atleast a block away! (AN: that's true, You can smell it from atleast a block away! oO) A knocking was heard at the door before someone let themself in.
"Hi everyone! Hey! Is that KFC I smell?" Lupin walked in sniffing the air appreciatively. Harry waved as he helped put some other things away with Snape. It was an unspoken agreement that Harry would help around the kitchen, putting away groceries with Snape, and keep his room tidy while he lived with them during the summer.
"Hey, Remus. Sure is! Harry told me about it so I thought I'd pick some up for dinner tonight" Sirius grinned as he took a seat, followed by the others. Lupin looked at the table.
"Geez, Sirius, think you've got enough?"
"That's what I said..." Snape replied as he sat down next to Sirius who rolled his eyes, having already explained his chain of reasoning to him.
Dinner proceeded somewhat uneventfully, with Snape getting berated by just about everyone at the table for attempting to use a glass to put his drink in.
"When you get take out, you don't use a glass! You just drink right from the can, you prat!"
"How barbaric!"
The same thing happened when he went to use the cutlery on anything but the salads.
"Their motto is 'finger lickin' good' for a reason, love!"
"But it's disgusting! Who on earth would want to eat this with their fingers!?" The answer came to him when Harry bravely shoved a drumstick into the professors mouth, thus earning him a hearty glare. Sirius got a devious glint in his eyes and smirked.
"Say, if it tastes good just being licked off of your fingers, what if you licked it off of someone elses fingers?" Lupin choked and Harry looked a little lost before it hit him and he looked doubtfully at the drumstick he had in his hand. Severus blushed pink.
"Don't you DARE get any idea's, Black!"
"But why not? I'm sure it would taste much better if I licked it off of you" Lupin looked pale and Harry had started eating again, figuring 'chicken was chicken' no matter what his godfather intended to use it for.
"Because you are NOT coming NEAR me with that...that...grease trap!" Snape sneered at the chicken on his plate. Sirius feigned a puzzled look.
"But you're almost the same and I make it a point to be near you as much as possible..." He said, suggestively, leaning closer to him. Lupin went from simply pale to pale and mortified. Harry looked on with interest. Snape leaned away, sneering at Black this time.
"YOU know I bathe on a regular basis! Hell, most of the time you wont even let me clean myself alone!" Lupin clamped his hands over Harry's ears. "And I am NOT as bad as that" he gestured to the drumstick Harry was eating while he watched. Sirius refused relent.
"Oh and how I enjoy our showers together" He got a wistful look on his face for a moment before continuing. "And I never said you were as bad as that, just that I would like to perform an experiment with the chemicals in the seasoning and your lovely, pale skin. You're all for experimenting most of the time anyways!" Snape was about to retort but all he got out was an undignified squeek as Sirius somehow picked him up out of his chair, placing a plate of chicken on his stomach.
"BLACK! What are you doing!? Put me down this INSTANT!" Despite his half-hearted protests Sirius grinned at Lupin and Harry and proceeded to take the still kicking professor upstairs. The two people still at the table looked at each other.
"Umm...Harry? I think maybe you should come and stay at my house tonight...I fear for your innocence here" Lupin said as he began packing away the left-overs. If those two wanted to 'experiment' with the rest, they could do it with it cold. Harry lended a hand and didn't bother to go and pack anything, he had a few changes of clothes at Remus' house, this being a usual occurence.
The two of them finished up, leaving the dishes in the sink for someone else to do, and headed for the door. They quickened their steps when they were able to hear things coming down from the bedroom upstairs.
"Oh Sirius..." The voice sounded like the owner was gasping out the words.
"I TOLD you it was 'finger lickin' good'!" Came the smug reply.
"Oh god...You were right...!"
Remus sped-walked through the door, Harry in tow, and slammed it behind him.
Meanwhile, up in the bedroom...
Sirius ran his tongue along Snape's now bare chest and smirked. "Glad I made you experiment?"
Snape glared at him half-heartedly before letting through a small smile. "We need to 'order in' more often Black...Those Muggles may be on to something..."
WOO! That was fun to write! I hope you all enjoyed it because we sure did! Laurey, you are the BEST muse EVER!
As always, this One-Shot was brought to you by Lauren and Saria, the Two Pixie People for your enjoyment! Ta ta for now and go experiment with your KFC! LONG LIVE THE COLONAL! WE LOVE YOU!