I met the girl who ruined my life when she was five years old. It took her less than a minute to destroy everything that I had spent a lifetime working for. It would take me more than a decade after to repair the damage that was done.
"Come on Edward! I want to go check out the Dipper! All of the advertisements say that its the best ride in the park!"
I looked over at where my sister Alice was bouncing on her heels in barely contained glee and smiled. It would be a gross understatement to say that Alice enjoyed roller coasters.
" Really? I heard that four G's of force could really mess up a hairdo Alice." I teased.
Her eyes narrowed at me before turning mischevious. "Your just trying to sneak off to see the Fortune Teller without anyone noticing! Really Edward? I never suspected that you could be so cheesy!"
I didn't try to deny it. Instead I shrugged my shoulders slightly and said "We all know that no one has your expertise Alice. Its more of a curiosity than anything and besides, its entertaining to mess with them."
Alice giggled before latching on to Emmett and began dragging him off towards the line for the coaster. "Well, don't be too long brother dear. It should prove very entertaining for you." Mentally she began singing the star spangled banner so that I wouldn't get a peak at what would come of the exchange- and for that I was grateful. There was so little surprise left in the world for a century old vampire, let alone one that could read the mind of someone who could see the future.
I wandered aimlessly for a while, enjoying the rare outing for what it was, trying not to get nauseated with all the different aromas of oil cooked food saturating the air.
" No no Mr. Caterpillar, your not supposed to be here! You'll get smooshed!"
A smile tugged at my lips as I looked over at the childish voice. A little girl of maybe five or six years kneeled in the shade of a concessions table. Her brown hair was done in little pig-tails that tickled her chin and she wore My Little Pony sneakers. Her hands were cupped carefully around a small green insect that looked more like a worm than a caterpillar. Her pudgy little face set in scowl of determination as she tried to rise from her kneeling position with both of her hands still cupped around her charge.
Of course, she failed. Several time she got about halfway her balance would shift too far to the side and she would topple over. And each time she got back upright, never letting go of the worm. It was obvious that she was a very stubborn child.
I was torn between amusement and gentle pity for the clumsy child. The stubborn scowl on her face was simply adorable. But where were her parents? I looked up to see a blond woman chatting animatedly with a concessionist a few feet away.
The little girl was going for try number five and I could see that she was getting upset that she could not manage to get up and protect her caterpillar at the same time. Her mother was still oblivious to her child's plight.
I toyed with the idea of helping couldn't hurt to help, right? I could just offer to hold her bug while she righted herself under her own power. I wouldn't need to touch her and therefore accidentally hurt her- and her mother would be none the wiser.
Satisfied with my own logic, I walked the few steps between us to close the distance. Kneeling down in-front of her, I extended my hand. Preparing to offer my assistance, I inhaled a lungful of air just as a gentle breeze passed over her and slammed her scent into my chest.
The thought hadn't even fully formed in my mind before I had done the unthinkable. I didn't even given her a chance to scream before I was through the stands and concessions effortlessly- too fast for anyone to recognize exactly what it was that I carried. Some in the crowds would turn with a frown, sure that something had just passed them, but unable to see what had disturbed them.
My mind was awash in exaltation and horror at how easy it had been to take her.
I had snatched the little girl and her alluring blood into my arms and spirited her away from the perceived safety of her mother.
I was a monster.
At least you didn't have to kill anyone to get to her, my mind whispered. I shuddered.
The parcel in question never cried as I it could only have seemed like moments to this infant human since I had stolen her away from her mother? Some distant part of me-the one that had prized humanity- was grateful that this mortal child would not have her suffering prolonged.
But so was the demon, for that meant that it had more time to revel in her blood.
Less than a minute later I was in an abandoned tent on the other side of the park, my mind having unconsciously stored its location when we first arrived here. The booths were mostly storage on this side, so even if the child were able to make a sound before I killed her, it may very well go unheard.
Make it quick... my mind begged.
Her scent seared through my lungs and carried a scorching pathway of molten fire through my veins.
Make it last... make it last! The Demon countered.
Before I realized it, I was nuzzling her pig-tails gently away from her neck. Vaguely I noticed how coarse her little sweater was in contrast to the downy softness of her hair. Was human skin usually so soft and delicate? She had bathed recently and the smell of strawberries shampoo mixed deliciously with her natural flavor.
I clenched my eyes shut as I drunkenly feasted on that scent, pulling in her fragrance by the mouth-full like a mongrel dog lapping at its favorite dish.
Here I was, a being that had prized reason and logic above all else, who had shown immense control over every part of my life now in an instant demeaned to the manner befitting a sickened me even as it fueled my hunger.
My mouth was dangerously close to the delicate skin covering her thundering it would take is one sweet nudge and nip of teeth to let that delicious river flow. I shuddered with desire and pulled my lips back from my venom coated teeth, anticipating.
But for a reason that a hundred years later I still could not understand, I opened my eyes before I moved to pierce her flesh-and felt the breath die within my body.
Eyes.
The child had turned her head to look at me and and the world suddenly fell around me. I was bound frozen. She was watching me.
Her iris' s were brown; a common and usually dull color. But these were like melted chocolate and the depth I could see inside them could have filled eternity. They were wide as she trembled, unblinking pupils dilated from the darkness and her own fear.
Caught as I was, I could see my reflection in her expressive orb's and I felt a whimper escape me, a mixture of disgust and horror. Skin white as death and eyes to match my damnation, I was now the very demon I had always tried to deny in myself. Her own being seemed to shine with purity and it was burning me. `
For one impossible moment everything suspended. This child and her solemn gaze held my soul and it crafted chains of guilt that were leaden and stifling. I felt the demon become subdued under their bondage. A sudden grief filled me in absence of the monster; an emotion so terrible that I crumpled to my knees under its weight.I was shaking as I kneeled there, violent tremors raked down my spine and coursed outward from my limbs.
Why did I have to be this thing? Why did such blood, the blood of this child, have to call to me so?
What was left of my soul fought with the darkness within...and I was terrified of which side would win.
Please...
The tiny body in my arms did not move and I could feel each pump of delicious blood from her heart echo against my own dead one. The Demon surged against its bonds ferociously and the chains groaned.
Don't make me a monster.
Her eyes had never left mine. There was an understanding in them that should not have been possible for one who had only lived a handfuls of moments in this life.
But still, she knew.
It was there in the stillness of her resignation, a sadness that mingled with the fear.
She knew that Death held her in his arms.
My own black gaze consumed her, drinking in small details but registering nothing.
It would be days before I could recall any trivial details. What would haunt my every feverish moment until then would be the flush of her apple rounded cheeks, the transparency of her skin barely veiling the pulsing life underneath or the way her bottom lip trembled as she repeatedly chewed on it to keep from crying- thus flushing fresh blood beneath the surface.
But worst of all was the silent question that her eyes pleaded for me to deny.
Would I kill her?
Did I have a choice? Could I resist and not break the fragile creature in my arms? Did I have the strength to refuse such temptation?
It didn't feel as though I did.
Could a dead heart break? It felt as though mine was.
Slowly-in increments at best- I loosened my hold upon her until her tiny feet finally made a soft thud as they touched the ground.
The monster was thankfully still restrained while I held my breath, but the taste of her scent stained my entire being. It roared with rage to consume her.I was struggling every second to keep her bonds in place, to not end the soul in my hands and to recapture my own within my answer.
Her delicate frame trembled beneath my fingers; her fear was intensifying. I could feel the heat of her fragile body branding my skin through her jumper.
But still, I tried.
Slowly... Painfully... I retracted my dangerous child continued to stare at me with trembling lips.
She needed to go. Could I to tell her to run? Could I relax the clench of my jaw long enough to plead, to BEG her to flee? To run back to her mothers waiting arms, safe from the demon in front of her?
And did I have the strength not to follow? I knew that if I broke, I would comb the planet until I found her again, kill any number of innocents until I could reach her.
It was impossible. In order to speak I would have to draw another breath, and her life- my life, would end! But she still wasn't moving and my resistance would crumple in moments! Beneath its straining bonds, the demon cackled in triumph.
My fingers hooked themselves onto ragged claws and slowly began to rise.
NO!
Bracing my clutched fingers on either arms, I painfully dug them into my flesh as a token resistance against reaching for her. I suppressed a savage growl at the thought of what I was about to do, but it rumbled audibly through my chest.
The little girl shivered and her eyes grew impossibly wider, but still she did not move. I could almost imagine the twisted fingers of Fate holding her fast to the spot, demanding that she be sacrificed.
Unbidden, I prayed for the first time.
God? Please...if you exist at all, don't let me do this!
Of course, I had not expected an answer.
Edward!.... Where are you? Oh God, don't do it Edward!!!
Were coming bro, hang in there!
Emmett?...Emmett!!!
Dimly I could feel the pounding of distant running feet- He was not alone. I felt a sliver of sanity return.
Alice.
Alice had seen this! She was coming to stop me! She was coming!!
Hope coursed through me in a blinding rush- and in that moment of elation my eyes broke free of the child's spell. I was saved! Dizzy with relief I smiled, and sucked in a lungful of air, ready to shout my exaltation.
Of course I realized my error too late.
Her scent returned with the force of a battering ram and I choked before I could utter the first syllable of Alice's name. Pain. Such monstrous pain...lust and scorching flame. I was being transformed again, dying in the fires of my own thirst!
There had never been any aphrodisiac or poison more potent than the smell of the blood in-front of me. .
The Demon broke free and clawed its way to the surface, its howl of triumph ripping from my throat. The flimsy walls of the tent shook as I howled my blood lust and the remnants of my grief.
It had consumed me. The voices of those I loved-who loved me, were drowned in the unholy gale of hunger pounding my ears.
No longer concerned with being ensnared by the soulful gaze of my prey, I now turned blackened eyes upon her once more. A cruel smile formed on my lips as they released my teeth.
The child had fallen to the ground, tears streaming down her face as she gasped in absolute terror. The air around her practically danced with the force of her fear. The sight simply ignited me further. I was a predator and I would not make the mistake of wasting time any longer.
Her rose bud lips parted too late to scream as I lunged for her throat.