The Smudge

A/N: I wrote this out of boredom and for I don't own Azumanga or the movies referenced. And I don't know why, but in this story Osaka has a lot of knowledge about American horror movies. R&R

When a story is written by someone who is in a powerful grip of boredom, randomness ensues. Those who encounter the random horror villains continue this endless, growing chain of nonsense.

THE SMUDGE.

Chiyo's Summer Home

All of the girls in Minamo's car were sleeping (besides Minamo, of course.) They passed the sign that signaled they were finally approaching Chiyo's summer home.

WELCOME TO RED LAKE

As they pulled up to the summer home, Minamo honked the horn to wake everyone up. Chiyo, Osaka, Sakaki, and Kaorin got out of the car. They looked down the road, waiting for Yukari's car.

After about a minute, a loud whirring could be heard and what looked like a large silver bullet sped up to the house. Tomo was sticking her head out, cheering. Yomi and Kagura's bloodcurdling screams were audible. The car came to a screeching stop.

Yukari and Tomo happily got out of the car. Yomi and Kagura opened their doors and waves of tears poured out. As they were walking toward the summer home, they glanced back and saw a tall man wearing a hockey mask and holding a machete.

Everyone stood there silently. "Erm… Osaka, you're the creepy one around here. What do we do?" Kagura asked, nervously. Osaka thought for a moment. "Oh!"

Osaka stood in front of everyone and turned to them. "There are a few rules in scary stuff. Rule one, no sex. Of course, that won't be a problem."

Yukari snickered. "It'd be hard for Nyamo if this was five years ago. Minamo looked at her angrily. "WILL YOU STOP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT?! IT'S GETTING OLD!"

Osaka cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Rule two, no showers (this was met by many "ew's.") Rule three, no trying to fight back. Rule four, no drugs." Yukari snickered again. "It'd be hard for Nyamo if-" She was cut off by a brick forcefully hit her head.

Osaka spoke up again. "Rule five, never taunt fate. Rule six, walk, don't run. Rule seven, no late night swimming. Rule eight, never go to the next house on the left. This should not be a problem since we are the last house on the right. And that about covers it." They all walked inside. Jason walked away, moping.

Once they got inside, Chiyo was very terrified. "Oh, don't worry Chiyo-Chan! In horror movies and stories, little kids never die!" Osaka said in a matter-of-fact tone. Chiyo smiled as she regained hope.

3:00 AM

Tomo tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn't sleep. What can I do to help me sleep? Hmm… Oh! I know! I can take a late night swim!

She got into her bikini and skipped out her front door. The door closed just loudly enough to wake Osaka up. "What's going on? Did I just hear a door?" She came to a shocking realization.

Osaka ran out the door, still in her night gown. "Tomo, get out of the water! RULE SEVEN, DANG IT! RULE SEVEN!" Tomo shrugged. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Osaka felt angry at Tomo. Like the time Tomo didn't split chopsticks properly. "Whenever someone says that, they die!" Tomo thought Osaka had lost it. "That only happens in movies!"

Osaka wanted to force the information into Tomo' head. "That's what they always say!" Jason came up behind Osaka. He pushed her out of the way. "Wait, Mr. Voorhees! My friend isn't a camp counselor! Don't kill her!"

Jason ignored Osaka's pleas. He threw his machete at Tomo. It zoomed past her neck and sliced her shoulder. "Ah! Damn it all! Hey, what's your problem?"

Jason walked away in a huff. Tomo grabbed his machete and got out of the water. But before she got out, Jaws attempted to eat her. But he missed.

Osaka and Tomo reentered Chiyo's summer house. "YUKARI! WAKE UP! I NEED HELP!" Tomo screamed "Shut up!" Yukari yelled. Everyone else came running form their rooms.

Chiyo and Sakaki grew deathly pale. At the sight of blood. "Whoa! Cool! Can I touch it?" Kagura yelled. "No!" Tomo shot back. Yomi though she probably just fell out of a tree again. Minamo already fetched the first aid kit. She bandaged up Tomo.

Osaka explained what happened. "Didn't Osaka explain the rules to us, Tomo?" Yomi asked. Tomo didn't respond, because she was too busy poking the bandages.

Jason knocked the door down, causing everyone to jump about four feet back. "OH NO WE'RE ALL GONA DIE AND- Oh wait, I still have his machete." Tomo realized. She jumped to her feet and began running around Jason in a wildcat manner.

Once Jason seemed dizzy, Tomo started stabbing him. "And this one's for Lupin! This is for Daisuke Jigen! This one, of course, is for Fujiko Mine! And this one's for my shoulder!"

Jason fell to the ground, but Tomo continued stabbing him. "I think he's dead…" Everyone besides Tomo said. Yukari finally came downstairs. "Whoa, a dead body, did I miss something fun?"

Out of nowhere, a lighting bolt struck Jason, bringing him back to life. "How'd this happen? This doesn't make sense!" Chiyo said, scared. "Friday the 13th lacks all logic!" Tomo began stabbing him again, and he died again.

A lightning bolt struck again. The process began repeating for an hour. Finally something new happened. Jason took his mask off. "Eww, put it back on." Tomo said. Osaka suddenly has a vein pulsing out of her head. "RULE FIVE!"

Jason put his hand up. "In trying to kill me, you have brought a terrible fate. For the next year, you will be attacked by random horror villains. Now I leave you. RAWGAWGAW" After this… err… 'grunt,' Jason turned into ash.

"You just HAD to go swimming, didn't you?" Yomi scowled. "Without me, we wouldn't have his machete." Tomo said proudly. Everyone sweatdropped. "Without you, we wouldn't have been attacked! God, you are the dumbest numbnut ever. So that must mean I'm the smartest!" Kagura said.

Osaka frowned at this statement. "What about me?" Kagura stared for a moment. "Yeah, I'm the smartest."

A few uneventful days later, it was time for them to go home. They were all worried about the horrors that would await them over the next year.

A/N: I don't know why I wrote this, but I definitely will continue. Please review. I don't know what Chapter 2 will be. Possibly Texas Chainsaw Massacre.