SCENE 1:
Act 1
(OPEN TO Olympus High School, JASON and the ARGONAUTS.)
JASON: Who put the "GLAD" in "GLADIATOR?"
ALL: HER-CU-LEEEES!
JASON: Oh, hi… Didn't see you there. My name's Jason. Jason Sandals.
ARGONAUTS: Woohoo! Yeah! (etc)
JASON: Oh, stop it. (blushes) And this is my wonderful musical theatre group, the Argonauts.
ARGONAUTS: Heyyyyy…
JASON: We're here to tell you the story of all the young gods and goddesses here at Olympus High. First, we have my main homie, Zeus. Oh, and his girlfriend, Hera. Cue the dramatic music!
ARGONAUTS: Hum…..
(CUT TO HISTORY, where ZEUS is CROSSING HIS FINGERS to be partners with HERA)
RHEA: *Pulls a name out of a hat* and Zeus will be working with… Hera.
ZEUS: HALLELUJAH! Er… I mean…
HERA: (Whispering to Aphrodite) He's kind of cute, I guess.
APHRODITE: Ew... heck no girl. What are you thinking? He has a beard.
HERA: Hey… Don't judge me!
(ZEUS STROLLS UP TO HERA AND TRIPS OVER HER SATCHEL, GRABBING APHRODITE'S DRESS TO KEEP FROM FALLING)
ZEUS: Ouch! Um… 'Sup, Hera.
APHRODITE: Keep your hands to your own toga!
HERA: *Giggles*
(APHRODITE ROLLS HER EYES AND PUSHES UP OUT OF HER CHAIR)
Aphrodite: Three words for you: Get. A. Room.
(APHRODITE WALKS AWAY)
ZEUS: Ugh, I hate her. Er… Unless you like her. Then yeah, she's the best. *Laughing nervously*
HERA: Ummm… okay then.
ZEUS: So, Hera. I was wondering… Would you maybe want to go on a...
APOLLO: Zeus and Hera sitting in a tree… K-I-S-S-
HERA AND ZEUS: Shut up, Apollo!
ARGONAUTS: Yeah, dude. Oh my gods!
ARTEMIS: *SLAPS APOLLO ON THE ARM* Be mature, idiot.
APOLLO: OW! That hurts, Art!
ARTEMIS: *Grabbing him by the arm* C'mon, the bell is going to ring soon. Let's go.
(ARTEMIS PULLING APOLLO WHILE HE'S YELPING IN PAIN)
ZEUS: Anyway…
HERA: YES!
ZEUS: (blinks slowly then smiles) Okay then!
SCENE 1
Act 2
JASON: And that's how Zeus and Hera fell in love.
ARGONAUTS: Awww…..
JASON: Now, let me show you my girl, Artemis.
ARTEMIS: (from offscreen) I'm not your "girl", Jason!
JASON: Sorry! (whispers) she's just jealous. I mean, I AM dating Media, but…
ARGONAUTS: Player!
JASON: HEY! Anyways…
ARGONAUTS: La la la la la… Ahhh!
(Cut to ORION'S COFFEE SHOP, where APHRODITE is pushing ARTEMIS through the door)
APHRODITE: C'mon, Art! The nectar here is amaaaazing! Plus, drinking here will make you SO POPULAR.
ARGONAUTS: Popular! You're gonna be pop-uu-lar!
ARTEMIS: No Aprodite. I don't want to end up like you. No offence.
(Haha Wicked)
APHRODITE: *rolls her eyes* You know when someone says 'no offence', It just makes the comment offensive.
ARTEMIS: Do I care?
(APHRODITE DRAGS ART UP TO COUNTER)
APHRODITE: One nectar, half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot, split quad shots-1 1/2 shots decaf, 2 1/2 shots regular-no foam nectar, with whip, 2 packets of splenda, 1 sugar in the raw, a touch of vanilla syrup and 3 short sprinkles of cinnamon. Oh, and an Ambrosia bar. And what about you Art?
ARTEMIS: Er… I'll just have a small nectar please. Hey, do I know you?
(MAN AT THE COUNTER LOOKS UP)
ORION: Yeah, you're Artemis, right? I think I've been in your class for the past seven years or something.
ARTEMIS: Yeah… haha. TOTALLY remember that. Yep. 100%.
ORION: (smiling) You don't, do you? That's okay.
ARTEMIS: (Giggles, then covers her mouth in alarm)
APHRODITE: (whispering) OMG OMG OMG YOU LIKE HIM!
ARTEMIS: Ew. No. Ew. Ew.
ORION: Thanks for the compliment…
ARTEMIS: No, I didn't mean it like that… I just meant…
ARGONAUTS: No chance. No way. She won't say it! No, no!
APHRODITE: Enough with the Hercules references!
ARTEMIS: Yeah, guys. It's not funny anymore. To be honest, it never was.
JASON: What are you talking about? It's HILARIOUS!
APHRODITE: No. It really isn't.
(JASON and the ARGONAUTS leave the stage grumbling about Disney)
ORION: So, what were you saying? Before all of this "Hercules the Musical" crap happened?
ARTEMIS: (Laughs again) I mean… Ugh! What is wrong with me?
ORION: Wanna go hunting?
ARTEMIS: Hunting?
ORION: Well, there is about twelve trophies that you won from archery, hanging on the wall in the activities building. I was wondering if you hunt. Cause hunting is pretty coool and you know I just kinda noticed and stuff...
ARTEMIS: You're babbling now. (giggling)
ORION: Sorry. But umm… are you free on Saturday?
ARTEMIS: Yep!
ORION: Great!
(BOTH CHARACTERS LAUGH NERVOUSLY)
APHRODITE: But… But… I thought we were going to ForverYouthful together on Saturday.
ARTEMIS: (Looking at Orion dreamily) Yeah... about that.
APHRODITE: UGH! (Storms out of ORION'S)
JASON: (Clapping loudly and singled out) That was great. Amazing!
ALL CHARACTERS STOP AND LOOK AT HIM
JASON: Er- moving on. Now, here's a tale of HADES, PERSEPHONE, and THE JEALOUS GODDESS.
So this was written by my friend and I as a joke. This actually doesn't involve Percy Jackson but it's an alternate universe of the Greek myths and maybe some other random stuff and I posted this for fun so whatever. if no one read it I'll delete it.