Author's Note: First chapters are always boring, please bear with me.

Disclaimer: I had a dream I was J.K Rowling, but then I fell off my bed and woke up.

Chapter One: The pretty boring chapter.

"Moony, I don't want to live anymore."

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes, "James, you've said that for the past week."

"I know, but this time I really mean it." James insisted.

"You said that the other times too." Remus said, sighing loudly.

"Lily hates me." James said grimly.

"James, she doesn't hate you." Peter offered comfortingly.

Sirius nodded, "She just dislikes you a lot, which is basically the same thing."

James glared at him. "You're not helping, Padfoot."

Sirius shrugged, "I was trying to help you face reality."

"Look on the bright side, the rest of the female population at Hogwarts seems to be smitten with you." Peter said.

Somehow, this failed to console James.

'I don't want to live anymore." James repeated.

"Yes, we know." They chorused, it was becoming a routine— James walking in, and declaring that he didn't want to live anymore.

"I'm going to go try to kill myself now, care to join me?" James said dully.

"No thank you." They chorused back.

They have gone over this many times. James would try to use an unbelievably stupid method to kill himself, and in the end, he would always come back.

"I'm never coming back." James said firmly as he walked out the door.

When he was halfway down the stairs, he heard a yell from Sirius.

"Prongs, make sure you come back before dinner!"

"Didn't you hear me? I'm never coming back." James snapped back.

There was no reply.

"Some friends I have," he muttered bitterly.

Wallowing in self-pity, He walked toward the Astronomy Tower.

He decided that he would kill himself by jumping off the tower, which wasn't exactly a dignified death, but at least it was better then nothing.

Unfortunately, when he arrived to the Astronomy Tower; he discovered it was "occupied" by two couple who were apparently in the middle of their snogging session.

James felt even worse, as he headed back to his room.

"Back already?" Remus said, nudging Sirius who had fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I couldn't find a place to kill myself, maybe tomorrow there won't be anyone in the Astronomy Tower." James said dryly.

"James, there will never be nobody there; it's one of Hogwarts famous snogging spots." Sirius said with a knowing grin.

"I have no idea how you know that." Remus said sarcastically.

Of course, Sirius's brain couldn't comprehend sarcasm, so he stared at Remus puzzled. "Remus, you know how I'm a sex god."

Remus was debating whether to teach him how to understand sarcasm, or just kill him for being so obtuse.

Since teaching Sirius how to understand sarcasm might take forever, he was considering the latter.

"Come on James, we've been through this before." Remus said, patting his friend's back.

"Been through what?" James asked, while thinking of other ways he could kill himself.

"The whole Lily-Hates-Me-So-That's-Why-I-Want-To- Kill-Myself thing."

"But I don't know what I did to make her hate me so much." He said, frustrated.

"Well, let's see. For instance, it's not really smart to stand up on the table and proclaim your undying love for her." Remus explained lightly.

"I had no idea that it was such a bad thing, I mean plenty of girls would die to see me do that for them." James said, flabbergasted.

"And Lily is—?" Remus inquired.

"Not just any girl." James said.

"Exactly."

"What should I do then?" James said staring at Remus for assistance.

Remus shrugged, "You were chosen for Head Boy, and Lily was chosen for Head Girl. I suppose you will be spending quite a lot of time together, use that time to your advantage."

That idea hit James full in the face, he had never thought of that.

"Moony, you are a bloody genius. If I wasn't a guy, I'd date you." James exclaimed excitedly.

"Err, thanks?" Remus wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not.

"What about me James? Would you date me if you weren't a guy?" Sirius asked, his face full of hope.

"Not even if you were the last person on Earth, I'd rather let mankind become extinct." James stated flatly.

Sirius put on a hurt expression. "Fine, be that way. Well, guess what? I wouldn't date you either!"

James gave him a thumb up. "Lets keep it that way, okay?"

Remus almost exploded from laughter at the look on Sirius face.

"Well, off I go! I have Quidditch practice soon, and I don't want to miss it." James said, skipping happily.

"He's awfully cheery isn't he?" Sirius said, scowling.

"Yes, he is." Remus replied.

It was a bit freaky.

As for Peter, well, he had always been a bit slow on uptake.

Peter stared at the both of them, "Why is he so cheery?"

And like usual, no one bothered to answer him.

In the girl's dormitory, Lily Evans suddenly sneezed.

"Someone must be talking about me," She muttered, wiping her nose with a tissue.

Her roommate, Amanda Smith, gave her a knowing look.

Lily stared at her. "What?"

"We all know who that could be." Amanda said, narrowing her eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lily said, ignoring her friend's look.

Amanda sighed. "James Potter."

"What about him?"

"Don't you think it was a bit harsh the way you yelled at him this morning?" Amanda asked quietly.

She could almost see her friend's fiery temper rearing up.

"Harsh? Are you serious, Amanda? I should have killed him, right then and there." Lily huffed.

"I thought it was pretty romantic."

"Romantic? The whole Great Hall was laughing at me!" Lily yelled.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "That's a huge exaggeration, Lily."

"It is not! I even saw Professor Dumbledore laughing at me; do you know how humiliating that was?"

"He was probably laughing at James, not you." She reassured her friend.

Lily scoffed. "I swear, if he tries professing his 'love' to me one more time, I'll blow up his bloody arse."

Amanda cringed.

Meanwhile, back in the boy's dormitory;

"Moony, how does this sound?" James asked, shoving a paper into his friend's hand.

Remus took one look at it, and shook his head. "James, I don't think professing your love in a poem would help either."

"Really?"

"Really."

Authors Note: Well, this chapter was pretty short, but I swear it gets longer later on. Reviews can make me euphoric for the rest of the day. (Hint, Hint).