Choice of Music: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance and Love Game

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of it's characters. If I did, Aizen would have been long dead by now and many Espada would still be alive. I am so sorry of any of the characters are OOC or any oc seems like a Mary Sue. Depending on how well this oneshot is liked, I might make an actualy fanfic, but it's all up to the reviewers. And I'm dealing with a tough possible pairing, so please bear with me *sweatdrops* Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

For another oneshot of this possible fanfic, please see Illusion under my profile. Domo arigatou gazaimus :)

Irisa turned her head left and right before hesitantly leaving the safety of her room. There was no sign of any of the Espadas or their fraccion, so now seemed like a good time to wander. It would suck if she ran into that thick headed, chauvanistic pig.

After wandering down the hallway, she was still surprised to have not come upon a single Arrancar yet. It was...odd, for lack of a better word. The only other sound to be heard was the clacking of her boots silently echoing off the walls. Even after walking down the entire hallway, she didn't meet anyone, not even her friends. "Where is everyone?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Gone," a voice answered her. Shrieking, she turned to face Tesla, Chauvanistic Pig's Fraccion.

"Oh me Lordie, don't do dat!" she scolded, shaking him. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." The sand haired Arrancar stared at the human girl, raising an eyebrow.

"Where are you going?" he questioned. "I thought you were to stay in your room today."

"I'm bo~ored," she said. "And there's no one around to help me cause trouble."

"You wouldn't start any by yourself?"

"Hell to the no!" she said, smirking. "Get in a fight together, we go down together." Irisa was given a sigh as a reply, and Tesla simply walked around the girl and went down the hallway.

"Where ya goin'? she asked, green eyes wide with curiosity.

"Nnoitra-sama's room." The girl jerked to a stop. Hesitantly, she kept on following him. "I thought you hated Nnoitra-sama?"

"If he tries anything, I'm gonna get violent."

"And when have you ever been successfull in actually harming him in any way?"

Irisa turned her eyes to the ceiling, thinking. "I can start today, if I try really hard..." She recieved a sharp tug on her braid, and she yelped. "What?"

"Don't get into trouble. Nnoitra-sama isn't in high spirits today."

She snickered. "I see. So Chauvanistic Pigs' down for the count? That will make revenge even better!" Tesla reached out for her braid again, and she quickly dodged him, giggling. He smiled at her antics.

Stopping in front of a large door (she never understood why everything was so big in Hueco Mundo), Tesla entered first into the extremely dark room. Irisa slowly followed en suite, looking around.

The light from the hallway only showed some of the room to her, and she noticed that, despite Nnoitra being himself, the room was decent and almost well kept. 'Tesla must have cleaned recently', she thought.

A sleeping outline of a figure lined something that must have been a bed, with the exception that it was huge. And when she meant huge, it was huge. Two king-sized mattresses had nothing on this bed.

Crimson sheets that looked like the color of blood covered the bed. When the sides cascaded over the edge, she was reminded of a waterfall of blood. 'Very creepy sense of style,' she noted. The others would definately want to know what the interior looked like.

With a groan, the figure on the bed moved, and she could see Nnoitra's head sit up. He looked absolutely pale and the smell of liquor hung off him. Irisa tried not to laugh.

Nnoitra wasn't sick. He was just hungover.

The temptation to scream was almost overpowering.

"Nnoitra-sama, I have the stuff you asked for," Tesla whispered.

"Dammit, Tesla," Nnoitra said groggily. "Why're ya friggen' yellin? I's fug-*hic*-gin irrating." His speech was so slurred Irisa almost thought that he was still drunk.

"I'm trying not to, sir," Tesla said, his whisper even quieter. Nnoitra's one eye traveled from his Fraccion to the human girl standing just near the bed. His smile turned lewd, and Irisa quickly moved towards the door.

"Hey baby," he grinned, "how you doin?" She refused to answer and just glared at him. His lecherous eye looked her up and down, and she refused to even attempt to imagine what he was thinking. The Quinta Espada motioned her over to him with his finger in a "come here" notion.

"No thanks," she growled.

"Come on, I ain't gonna hurt'cha," he said, giving her a pathetic attempt to pout. "I mean, unless ya want me to." His sentence seemed funny to him, and he started to laugh. Irisa was now completely convinced that this bastard was drunk.

"Again, no."

In one quick motion almost unseeable to her eye, he threw Tesla out the door, shut and locked it. Leaving her in here. With him.

Alone.

"Now we can have some alone time together," she heard him growl, and pinned herself against the wall, feeling around. The sound of his boots clacking against the floor gave away his position, and she tried to escape him. Attempting to run, she hit something on the floor and lost her balance. Hitting the ground with a thud, the sound of his boots quickened towards her and she ran

Straight into him.

"Hey there," he said. Rough hands grabbed her and pulled her towards him. Wrapping his arms around her, she could feel herself being pressed against him. "See?" he pointed out. "This ain't so bad, now is it?"

For fear of things progressing, she leaned into his touch, playing along with his game. Reaching out with one hand, she groped around until something met her grasp. It was glass, what was in it, she didn't care. Swinging with her entire might, Irisa smashed the bottle against his head and felt him drop. Dragging her with him.

The smell of tequila rose wafted to her nostrils, and she was disappointed in herself. Squirming out of his grasp, she unlocked the door and bolted out into the hallway. When Tesla opened his mouth to question her, she interuppted saying "You never saw me!" She ran to her room and stayed there until she had to be dragged out later that night for dinner.

Please leave your thoughts. I would greatly appreciate no flamers though.