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Hannah Ashworth sits on her bed, staring at the phone in her hand, she can't believe Melissa is in hospital, in intensive care, alone. She now understands the harsh reallity of what they've done, she starved herself, Melissa bullied her into it. before she met melissa, she had friends, a life. she stands up, and looks at herself in the mirror, the girl staring back at her is pale, with greasy skin, her bones stick out alarmingly. she's looked at this girl many times, she thought she was beautyful, but today, as she stands there, thinking of melissa, her best friend, the person who understood her, laying thin, and alone in a hospital. suddenly she looks at that girl for the first time, and sees herself for what she really is, she's just like melissa, melissa had made her that way. she hated it, when they'd go into town, she'd see shop windows, displaying cakes, but melissa wouldn't let her eat.
"its not what we do Han"
she'd said
"we're moddles, we have to go through this to look beautyful, trust me, you'll be fine!"
but she wasn't, standing in front of the mirror, looking at herself. suddenly, she becomes angry with Melissa, she hated her. she beat her fists on her pillow, tears streamed down her face.
"I hate you, i hate you!"
she repeats again and again.
"I'm not going to the hospital to see her, i'm not, i'm not!"
she thinks to herself. the door bangs, her parents are home, she jumps off her bed, and trys to sort herself out. she goes into the bathroom, and dabbs at her blotchy face with a wet flannel. she looks at herself in the mirror above the sink, the immage hasn't changed. she goes back in her room, and changes into the most baggiest clothes she's got, to hide how thin she really is.
"Hannah, you here love?"
her Mum, suzanne shouts up the stairs.
"i'm just making lunch, you want some?"
"ok, yeah"
"god food"
she thinks
"i'd love to, but..., what is this doing to me, its taken over my hole life!"
she makes her way downstairs, where suzanne is preparing salad in the kitchin.
"you alright?, you look pale"
"yeah, just feel a bit sick that's all... Mum, i've changed my mind about lunch, i'll get some round Sarahs, Nancy's coming over, we're gunna make a real afternoon of it."
"ok, if your sure, on your way out, could you give rees a call"
"rees, lunch"
she leaves her house, and heads into the village, she see's a coppy of OK in a shop window, she sees a glamourous looking moddel on the front cover, beautyfully thin, not horribly thin, like melissa, at the thought of Melissa, she winces. suddenly, she finds herself booking a taxi to the hospital, last time she'd tried to book a taxi, melissa had collapsed. she walks in, and finds the correct ward. she's shocked when she walks in, its a completely different world up here, their were thin girls everywhere, sitting in bed, reading magazines, watching tv, or staring at untouched plates of lumpy mashed potato. she asks a nurse where Melissa was
"i'm hannah, her best friend, is she gunna be ok?"
"aah, your Hannah are you?, she's been asking for you, follo me"
Hannah does so, towards a little side room.
"alright?, let me know if you want anything".
the nurse leaves her. Hannah pauses at the door, unsure of wather to go in, afraid of what she'll see.
eventually, she musters up the currage to go in.
Melissa ly's sleeping, huddled under the sheet, like a little child. Her thin, lifeless hair hangs lankly around her shoulders, her paper thin skin looks pale. as she sleeps, hannah can see her rib cage move up and down. all the hate vannishes from her mind, as she sees her skelliton like friend. tears fill her eyes, as she steps towards the bed.
"oh Melissa, what have you done!"
she whispers, as she takes hold of her thin, limp wrist, scared it might snap. Melissa sters
"hey you, i knew you'd come, your the best friend ever, ya know that?"
She peers at hannah more closely.
"hey, why are yu crying?, what's up eh?
Hannah cries harder.
"hey babe, come here"
"melissa sits up slowly, and opens her stick like arms, she hugs Hannah as tightly as she can, hannah sobbing into her bony shoulder.
"look at yourself Melissa, you look, thin, horribly thin."
"hey, its ok, the doctors can fix it, my body will get through this, it hasn't let me down so far"
she pulls away, and lys back on the bed, too weak to do much else.
"your gunna get better ok, we both are, and when you get out of here, we're gunna go up town, and eat all we want, weight doesn't matter you know, you can be beautyful."
"yeah, oh Han, i'm so sorry..."
tears role down her boney cheeks.
"hey, don't you start crying too!"
Hannah smiles
"god, i feel so tired!"
she lays back on the pillow, and closes her eyes.
"your the best friend i've ever had, i'm so glad i met you when i did"
she whispers weakly
Hannah takes hold of her hand, melissa squeezes it.
"you to"
Melissa lies still, her grip relaxes a little, then she goes limp. hannah stares down at her lifeless body, and cries scilently. at that moment, the nurse comes in, on seeing Melissa, she stands still.
"I'm ever so sorry Hannah"
she says softly, putting a hand on Hannah's shoulder
"don't be like her, get help, beat it."
"she was gunna get help, we were gunna do it together!"
Hannah sobs.
"Hannah, she suffered a heart attack, she was verry ill, we weren't sure weather she'd hold out or not"
Hannah leans forward, and kisses Melissas pale cheek
"bye Melissa"
she whispers. She leaves the room, she goes out of the hospital, into the bright afternoon sunshine, she leans against a raling, and sobs uncontrolably.
6 months later, she stands in front of the mirror, but this time, the girl staring back at her, is at a healthy weight of 8 stone, she has glowing cheeks, soft skin, and lushous long hair. she's off on a night out with nancy and sarah. they've been closer than ever since melissas death, they went to the funeral with her.
"its all because of you Melissa"
she says, staring towards the ceeling.
"if you can hear me, i think you were great, luv ya!"
she blows a kiss upwards, and leaves the room smiling happily.