Hi everyone! I ended up writing these scenes or one shots for my creative writing class. They were inspired by precious Bucky Barnes (I didn't use that name for my class, I changed the name lol) and I decided to give it a try and upload them here because why not? They're already written so..Anyway! This story is written in one-shots, I tried to make them as long as I could but trimesters, man. I will post the ones I wrote for my class and depends on the feedback I'll decide if I want to continue or not, so you guys let me know! Thank you for reading!
Summary:
Bucky is a military veteran with some serious PTSD, besides from being in the army he also did other gruesome things that haunt him and further increase his depression. He lives in fear and darkness, hides from the world, and he's constantly moving places so that way he gets no attachments or anything that could bring more damage to his mental health. His life changes when he meets someone that could help him, but will he let himself receive that help? This is a story of a man whose internal conflict is himself, his past haunts him every day and everyday he fights himself to stay alive. (It's an AU/modern world sort of thing)
…..
There it was again. The feeling, that feeling he tried to shake off his chest. You should be happy, a part of him said. You did it, soldier, you've completed your mission. A few months ago he would've smiled and taken that complement to mind. It would stay there to remind him of his accomplishment, a motivation for the future you could say. Now it stays there to haunt him, to remind him that yes he achieved it, he completed his mission but at what cost? It reminds him of the person he had become.
He hated that person. He hated how long it took him to notice and he specially hated that it was her who had noticed first. They didn't even like each other, they were just coworkers, and they were the only ones who got the job done. ''What have we done?'' she had whispered before running off. It didn't register at first, it was just another job but then he did something he never did before. He looked, he looked at his surroundings, at the damage they had done. He couldn't figure out what made it so different but his eyes took in every single detail. The dead bodies scattered, the blood on the walls, on the floor, on him. Then he saw it, a pair of eyes that belonged to a little girl, widely opened in fear as she hid from him. He swallowed and he took a step towards her-
''Breath in and out, in and out. That's right, deep breaths'' He tried to follow what the voice told him. ''You can open your eyes, Bucky. It's not real, it was just a dream''. But it wasn't. Bucky tried to desperately open his eyes, to never relive that moment again but he couldn't find a way out. It was like a hole that was dragging him down, swallowing up his whole body and he was fighting it. Fingernails that clung to the floor, reaching something to hold on to. He screamed. His heart beat pounded, he felt it was going to get out of his chest. The tears started to fill behind his closed eyelids. He's no longer in his bedroom, hears the screams, his screams, the gunshots. He sees blood, bodies, the little, girl. ''How could you?'' ''You're a monster'' ''You don't deserve to live'' the little voice said in his mind. That little voice slowly winning and taking over his whole thoughts. Whole body trembling, shaking, quick breaths.
'' Te rog''
*Translation: Please