Lee Everett stared at his wrists. On them were silver-colored handcuffs.
Killing the state senator probably wasn't his best move... but that was in the past.
... Sort of.
"Well, I guess you didn't do it." The balding old cop guy in the front seat said.
Lee looked up at him and raised a brow. "?"
"I've had a ton of people in the back of that car, and usually they'd start squeeling how it wasn't them that did it by now."
Lee smacked his head into the window to his left. "Oh fuck me..." He mumbled so quietly, not even the atoms of oxygen in the air could hear it.
The cop continued to talk and talk and talk and talk as he drived along. Lee noticed helicopters, ambulances, SWAT trucks, blue whales, and kids on bikes pass by the car. When he looked back out the front windshield, he noticed they were about to hit somebody.
Lee said nothing, but simply tensed up and seemed to freak out silently.
The cop raised a brow before suddenly the van flipped into a ravine somehow.
Just kidding.
"Oh. We're alive." started the cop before a blue shell hit the car and it swerved off of the highway, rolling down the now-rough-and-slanted ground.

Lee woke up in a bit of a haze. His leg hurt like hell, but even so, he failed to produce even a noise. He kicked the window once and it exploded because he is Lee Everett.
Now magically outside of the smashed car, Lee limped around it. He saw the corpse of the cop lying not far away. He looked down at the shotgun, somehow noticing the shell. He then looked at his handcuffs.
They were gone.
"...?" Lee shrugged it off, decided some entity of authority must have wanted to deny the existance of Lee's handcuffs to save time and create some difference in this tall tale.
The silent ex-history teacher then saw someone staring at him from afar. He looked left, and then right, then started walking toward the figure, which ran away.
He tripped 487 times getting to the fence. He tripped another 3 times climbing the fence. And also another 5, as he got up onto the porch and smashed the door open.
Lee quickly skimmed his eyes over the surroundings, feeling less than captivated by the colored unicorn drawing on the counter. He decided to listen to the messages on the answering machine.
"Ah, shit, some shit's gone down." started a woman. "Uh, we're gonna be in Savannah a bit longer... whatever your name is... Anyways thanks I guess for taking care of our kid... whatever her name is..."
The second message began with laughter. "HOOO' SHIT GURL, MY HUSBAND GOT HIS FUCKIN' FACE LICKED OFF BY A HOMELESS DUDE. We'll be back when we get him a new face at the hospital."
Then finally the third message began as sad music played. "Clementine," cried the woman. "Honey, Clem baby... don't forget to order the pizza."
Lee was confused.
"Daddy?" A muffled voice asked.
"?" Lee walked into the kitchen, slipping on the conveniently placed puddle of someone's life-blood. He opened a drawer and pulled from it a walkie-talkie. He pressed the button and opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing.
"... Don't ignore me, I can see you in the window."
Lee looked out the window in front of him and saw a little girl, no older than eight years old, looking at him from inside the treehouse.
Still Lee said nothing.
The girl, introducing herself as Clementine, told him everything about herself.
Even then, Lee remained quiet.
"You're creepy..." said Clementine before she screamed and hid.
Lee turned to see some ugly bitch reaching out to give him a hug. He wun't havin' none'a that.
With a brutal chop to the neck, he stunned the "woman", before he slipped again and slammed the back of his skull against the countertop. The colored unicorn fell over his face.
After eating the runaway unicorn, Lee kept backing away from his prey just to make them feel like they had the upper hand.
Clementine appeared behind him suddenly, holding out a hammer. "Here!"
Lee smiled just a bit; maybe he and this girl could get along after all. He took the hammer from her tiny hands and used it to smash the face of the woman who must have been Clementine's babysitter at one point.
Once finished, he dropped the hammer, panting.
"I think she was one of them..."
Lee's mind went blank, as he had absolutely no fucking clue what she was talking about.

After being briefed by Clementine on what was going on, Lee sighed. He realized now that he was forced into dragging this little girl along whether he liked her or not.
The two of them went out onto the street, where a thin guy and a fat guy pointed guns at them.
Clementine hid behind Lee at first, until Lee raised his hands and used his leg to make her to in front of him.
"Phew, sorry. We thought both you and the little one were going to give us the chomp."
Lee was quiet.
"I'm Shawn Greene, and this is Chet."
Lee remained quiet.

An awkward silence spread until a walker suddenly tapdanced and turned into a penguin with the face of Jesus.
"Hey, uh, we could take you two to my dad's farm if you help us move this tr-"
Lee stared with a look of death into Shawn's eyes.
The truck was then suddenly in front of the car that had been previously blocking it.
"You are a very weird man... but I guess I have to stay true to my word."

All four of them in the truck, they drove to Hershel's farm.
Chet drove off and had a stroke.
Hershel walked up to them. "I see you brought guests."
"Uh, yeah... This is Clementine and... uh..."
Clementine shrugged.
"Suppose you'd best give us your name now, then." Hershel demanded snarkily.
Lee stayed quiet, scratching his head near his ear in response.
"I'm gonna need a name." Hershel glared at him.
Lee showed no fear, but for the sake of Clementine, answered quietly. "Lee."
"That wasn't so hard, was it?"
Lee thought, 'You have no idea.'
"Looks like you cut up your leg pretty bad there."
Lee was quiet again.
"OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT JUST GET IN THE FUCKING BARN."
Lee and Clementine skipped hand-in-hand into the barn, sitting on crudely-placed sleeping bags.
"It smells bad in here... Like..." Clementine started.
Lee didn't finish her statement, but instead seemed to shush her. She pouted and turned over so her back faced him, not realizing he noticed booted feet nearly hanging over the floor above them.
Lee decided to ignore it, and with that, he fell into a silent, troubled sleep...