Remember

"Aria," Jason cooed in his soothing and familiar voice, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

I quickly blinked away the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes, and give away my pain, before I glanced up at him through my lashes. I gave him a smile that I told myself was genuine as his hand reached out to stroke my cheek. This normally would have been an intimate gesture, but the feeling of his rough palm against my bruised cheek was almost too much to bear. I winced and stifled a whimper before mentally kicking myself for letting him see how much pain I was in.

"Do you not want me to touch you?" Jason asked angrily as he backed away from me. "Aria, you know that I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it! I swear it will never happen again."

I looked into his blue eyes that were pleading for forgiveness and another chance. I wanted to believe him. I wanted this time to be different, "I know, Jas," I said softly as I held my hand out. "Come here. It will all be okay."

He took my hand and pulled me into a tight embrace as he began to sob on my shoulder. I stroked his shaggy blonde hair as I felt his tears seep through my thin cotton dress.

I am currently nineteen and attending Hollis College while living with Jason, who is my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend, Ezra Fitz, is one of my college professors, which proves to be a source of conflict for me and Jason.

"You won't ever leave me. Will you, Aria?" Jason begged as his teary eyes looked into mine.

I smiled, "I won't leave you, Jason."

I felt his lips roughly meet mine as his tongue sloppily prodded at my mouth. His hands ran down my sides and groped at me as he pushed me onto our bed. He quickly pulled my dress over my head before stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of my bruises and cuts.

I watched him back away from the bed and sink to the floor.

"Jason," I said quietly as I approached him, "I'm okay."

He shook his head as his muscular arms wrapped around his legs and he began to rock himself on the hardwood floor.

"No," he whispered without meeting my eyes, "It's not okay. You deserve better."

I slowly moved towards him, "Aria! Don't!" he shouted at me as he put his arms up as if to stop me.

I continued to inch closer to him as he sprung up and quickly closed the distance between us.

"Aria," he yelled, "I told you to just stay away. Dammit!"

I reached my hand up towards his cheek, "Jason," I whispered.

He grabbed my wrist in his hand and threw me against the wall, "Aria! I told you to just leave me alone! Do you want me to hurt you?!" he roared.

I threw my dress over my head, grabbed a cardigan to cover my bruises, some wedges, my purse, and my car keys as I slammed the door behind me. I drove to my favorite old bar, Snookers, without thinking about where I was going. I was on autopilot. I put the car into park as I grabbed some concealer and dabbed it over my bruised cheek bone. I walked into the bar and said before I even sat down at a stool,

"Shot, please."

"Careful, you're a lightweight, Aria," I heard a familiar and mocking voice call from a seat away at the bar.

I turned my head and grinned as I saw Ezra sitting there and reading Ulysses.

"You still haven't finished that book?" I asked in a judgmental tone with a scrunched nose.

"Aria," Ezra said very solemnly, "Nobody has."

I giggled as I downed my shot.

"How have you been?" Ezra asked as he slid into the barstool closest to me.

I could see the concern written all over his face, and the kindness in his blue eyes.

"I've been," I paused for a moment, wondering if I should tell the truth to my first love, "Okay," I said decidedly.

Ezra took a deep breath as he nodded, which caused his messy curls to bounce, "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy, even if it couldn't be with me."

I gave him a small smile. If only he knew how much I wished I could be with him, but life had just gotten in the way. When I was in my senior year of high school, the obstacles just seemed to outweigh the benefits.

"How have you been?" I was truly curious. I wanted Ezra to have found someone and be happy, but I also still hoped that he would swoop me away one day.

Ezra took a sip of his scotch as he set his book down on the rough counter top of the bar,

"I've been alright. I do teach an English class at Hollis now. You know, there is an incredibly beautiful girl who sits in the sixth row," he said with a boyish grin and a twinkle in his electrifying blue eyes.

I laughed whole heartedly. Something I hadn't done in months, "Oh, really?" I asked mischievously, "Who is this gorgeous girl?"

Ezra put his hand to his mouth as he looked off into the distance and pretended to think of her name, "Ah," he said suddenly, "A-Anita?"

I laughed uncontrollably at his reference to my fake name I used while I took classes at Hollis one summer.

"How do you possibly still remember that?" I asked when I had caught my breath.

"I remember almost everything about you, and us," Ezra said as his smile fell and he took another sip of his drink.