Rating: M

Word Count: 970

Summary: The Doctor reflects on what it will be like to give Clara her Christmas surprise... but he doesn't think about what she'd be like on the beach...

Notes: This is so dumb, I just had to do it. Everyone should watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation sometime before January begins. It's such a fantastic movie.

Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve at Clara's.

That's where he was now, and all he wanted to do was tell her where he'd be taking her after the next day's celebrations were over.

The Doctor knew that Clara wanted to go somewhere tropical; she'd been dying to go on vacation. So that's exactly where he was taking her. No strange planets, no alien threats, Just the two of them and the beach, for an entire week.

Of course, for him an entire week would feel like millennia. He would be taking the slow path with her, sharing a hotel, like friends would. The Doctor couldn't wait to tell Clara about his plans for them tomorrow morning.

Perhaps that's why it was nearly two in the morning and he was still awake. The excitement had his brain overworked, and Clara's spare bedroom had become too cramped for him, that had to be the reason he stood in her kitchen eating Jammie Dodgers at this hour.

The Doctor stood at the window and began to imagine how the day would go.

He would tell her, and she'd be so excited, she'd probably jump up and hug him. He'd flail his arms like he usually does, but quickly settle into the hug the longer it went on. But then, her family would arrive, so she'd rush to prepare dinner. After they leave, she'd probably try to pack a suitcase, but he'd stop her telling her they had plenty of time and clothing in the TARDIS before they were due to arrive at the hotel.

The Doctor sighed, loving how this was turning out already. But what would she do when they got there?

She's probably take pictures, loads and loads of pictures on her phone to put on that Face look thing she was always browsing. Then they'd be shown to their room, the biggest suite he could reserve for the two of them. They'd unpack their stuff in their massive rooms, then go out to explore the beach.

Clara would look lovely in the sunset.

The Doctor could picture the beautiful brunette in a flowing skirt looking up at him as she walked along the shoreline. Maybe she'd even take his hand. Would she? Would the other beach goers think they were together? Maybe. Maybe she'd stand on tiptoe and throw her arms around him, hugging him close to her. Or maybe she'd splash water at him soaking the leg of his trousers then chase him through the sand.

He'd take her for dinner, then walk her back to their suite, watching her explore its vastness. Then as he read his book, he'd watch her run past him and out onto their private backyard.

Suddenly, as the Doctor looked out through Clara's kitchen window, the dark, snowy grounds transformed into the beautiful tropical pool. He was no longer just staring into the darkness, he could see Clara clad in a bathing suit cover up dipping her toes in to test the water.

He watched her as she peeled off the little dress she wore to reveal the skimpiest bathing suit he'd seen in his life. His eyes were wide as she walked away from him, not knowing his eyes were firmly stuck on her bottom the entire time. She'd check to see how much privacy they were allowed by the shrubs surrounding their property before turning to face the pool.

Slowly, Clara untied the back of her bikini top, freeing her breasts to the unsuspecting eyes of the Doctor. He felt wrong for peeking, but she was beautiful, and what she didn't know couldn't hurt her… right? The Doctor didn't expect her to hook her thumbs into the little bottoms and wiggle her way out of those as well.

There she stood, Clara Oswald, naked as the day she was born.

She was gorgeous, but of course, the Doctor already knew that. He watched the way her body moved with each step, the way her toes pointed as she kicked her bikini to the side, the way her breasts rose as she tied her hair into a ponytail. Then, she spotted him.

He stood there at the window like a deer in headlights, but he couldn't move as her lips curled into a smile. Clara waved unsuspectingly and did something he never thought she'd do, even in this situation.

Clara motioned the Doctor over.

His jaw dropped.

"Me?" The Doctor mouthed. Clara only nodded. She ran her hands down her supple curves before sitting on the edge of the pool and sliding in. He was about to join her when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

The Doctor nearly jumped out of his skin as he was brought back to reality, and reality starred a grumpy looking Clara Oswald in a housecoat.

"What the hell are you doing looking out my window?"

"Um… sorry… couldn't sleep."

Clara began looking to the floor before a… rather large problem made itself known.

"Uh… Doctor… did I interrupt something?"

"N-no, why?"

"Were you..." She looked at him pointedly.

"Was I what?"

"Were you masturbating?"

The Doctor frowned in confusion before looking down and realizing he had a rather large erection.

"O-oh. Oh dear. Well. That's embarrassing."

"Were you um… wanking into my sink?" Clara asked, almost not wanting to know.

"NO! No, I'd… no." He sputtered.

"Do you want to hop in the shower?"

Shower? The Doctor thought to himself. For wha—oh. To relieve himself. "Y-yes please, probably for the best."

She giggled and led him to her bathroom, handing him some fresh towels. "Try and get some sleep Doctor, tomorrow's Christmas." She stood up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, oh, and have fun." Clara told the blushing man with a wink.

The next week is going to kill me… isn't it?