Fable 2: Horatio and the Revival of Skorm

Prologue: Bower Snuffer

Bloodstone. Dark. Dangerous. Unpleasant. But filled with some of the best booze and wenches in all of Albion and the perfect place for the hardened criminal to hang out. That be what them travellers say and Grendal 'Bower snuffer' McGraw agrees wholeheartedly with them. Having terrorised old Bowerstone for the last week or so, he felt he needed a bloody good time. With his big black afro, handlebar moustache and tramp beard, Grendal was a face to remember. And with them wanted posters describing his red and dark green highwayman bandit outfit, everyone in town knew who he was. The barman was only too happy to give ol Grendal the best booze in the tavern. Now all he had to do to get the best good times was to find a beautiful wench. But not one caught his eye. They just looked too dingy to him. He fumed in his corner, thinking that if he didn't see a good wench soon, then he'd be bringing ruin to bloodstone too.

"Well 'ello dahling." said a charming lady voice. "You be looking like you be needing me company." Grendal looked up at this here stranger. And smiled. She was a lovely looking girl alright. Tall, with golden locks flowing down her back and lovely blue tattoos over her whole body. And of course she had a real pretty rack just about to burst from her corset.

"Cor. You're a beaut now aren't ya?" Grendal said as he pulls out a chair for her. As she sat down he got a good eyeful of her hooters. "What be ya name sweetie?"

"You be calling me Jiggles, dahling." She said coyly, giving him a wink. "I be 'earing of you, you know. Grendal 'Bower snuffer' McGraw. Dark. Dangerous. Murderer of over a 'undred traders and travellers; stealer of weapons; and a pisser of pot plants." She gasps and places a hand to her ample bosom. "All them crime is enough to make a good girl swoon."

Grendal smirked and leaned towards her. "Good thing ye no good girl aye? Now how about ye be the first girl to have a good time with the Bower snuffer, eh?"

"Oh I thought you be never asking." Jiggles says, taking him by the hand and hurrying upstairs to the beds. Unbeknownst to Grendal, a muscular man in shadow worshipper robes, who had been watching them both with interest, took one last drink, repositioned his mask, and hurried off as if to meet someone.

"Now 'ow about you get yourself ready here, while I go ready the bed?" Jiggles asks teasingly as they close the door to the hallway. And without waiting for a response she walked into the bedroom and closed the door. But Grendal wasn't going to wait damn it. He wanted some action now! He closes on the door, ready to boot it open and rip her clothes to shreds. He raises his boot and slams it into the door... Only for the door to disappear. He stumbles forward, and a knee slams into his gut. Even as the breath leaves him, a hand chops down on his neck, silencing him with a strangled gasp. Then a punch to his side slams him into the wall, and a leg sweep brought him to the ground. Almost passing out he looked up to find Jiggles' hand sparking and her tattoos glowing. Aw hell, he thought. A bloody hero. And then he was too busy being shocked to do more than pass out.

BANG! Goes the door as a dashing young man charged in, longsword raised up high. With muscles as thick as a woman's waist, windswept blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, he looks the part of every girl's favourite hero. He stabs his sword into the unconscious crook's gut and says "Tis a wonder of miracles that I, Horatio Vuldoom, was able to arrive before this slimy wrongdoer could deflower you my fair maiden." Jiggles rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She mutters, her voice no longer sounding that of a cockney wench, but of an educated young woman. "Save your speech for the citizens, would you? And what took you so long? You were supposed to charge in as soon as the door closed."

"Tis hardly my shortcoming Jiggles." Her hands clenched as he said his nickname for her. "Brick was waylaid by the drunken feminine culture of this tavern." At this the shadow worshipper entered the room, his hood down and mask off. He could almost have been Horatio's Twin if not for his dark mane.

"Hey Tatiana." Brick growled as he closed the door and stepped over Grendal's corpse. (He only growled to hide any similarities of his and Horatio's voice.) "Sorry about the hold up."

"Tell me Brick." Tatiana 'Jiggles' Blades said through clenched teeth as she put her hands on her petite hips. 'How many whores did you have to drag Horatio from this time?" Horatio gave a moan of outrage as Brick answered.

"About four, I would say. Maybe five if you count the transgender." At this Horatio's moan became a confused croak. Tatiana smiled at his discomfort.

"Ahem." Horatio coughed as Tatiana and Brick turned to him. "If you two Bipeds are quite finished we need to get to our positions." Again Tatiana rolled her eyes, but complied with his demand. As she got to the far wall, Brick entered into the main room and opened the door to the tavern.

"Bloody Hell!" Brick shouted down the hallway. "Someone stopped that Bower snuffer guy them travellers spoke of." Everyone rushed towards the room while Brick used the general confusion to slink away.

"Oh thank ya me dahling hero." Tatiana swooned as Horatio grabbed by the waist and planted a big slobbery kiss on her cheek. Ignoring the need to wipe it away and waft the stench of beer, she started the planned tale. "We barely 'ad entered the room when the dirty bastard tried to rip me clothes off. I managed a slight knock to the 'ead, but 'e 'ad me cornered. If I 'adn't screamed, then this 'andsome 'ero would never 'ave arrived to save me life." At this she did final part most reluctantly. She grabbed his face and kissed him full on the mouth, where his tongue slid down her throat.

For someone who's just good looks he needs help learning how to kiss, she thought. She dragged herself away before the act caused her to vomit, and she moved through the crowd to where Brick was. Not that anyone cared though. To them she was just a whore, someone to please the men and be thrown away. They were all interested in Horatio now.

"Good people of the multicultural town of Bloodstone." Horatio spoke as he began his speech. "It was within my greatest pleasure to remove this dastardly murderer from our lands, so that you people will have one less monster to make you quake. And this is just the first. For I, Horatio Vuldoom, Scourge to all things evil and the shining star of justice, will promise you all that evil will fear the light of day again." The crowd gave a loud cheer at this, while Horatio lapped it all up with a small smile. As he continued his speech, Brick leaned towards Tatiana and whispered in her ear. "He going to cause us problems again."

Tatiana nodded. Horatio was always going to cause them trouble. On days like this, when she felt like just leaving him to his own devices, she had to remind herself on that fateful day, two weeks ago, when it all started.