This came to me out of nowhere so I just went with it at 3 in the morning.

Commander Shepard was a serious man, he didn't like funny business on his ship or while he was on a job, but sometimes people couldn't help but laugh at the deadly man. His country accent sticking out once you first meet the man and despite his seriousness he very damn well thought he was a cowboy from the western days on Earth. Every alien he encountered thought he was insane.

Shepard was stuck in the past glory days of his family back on Earth and even though he worked in the intense climate of space, he intended on making his grand-pappy proud. He carried twin pearl pistols in holsters on his hips and constantly twitched his fingers to them in an intense conversation. Every time he talked to the Illusive Man he just about shot the wall in an attempt to shoot the mystery man.

Eventually everyone stopped calling Shepard "Commander" and started calling him the Sheriff. He loved it. He left the politics and technology to his crew. It was his job to distract the enemy and shoot 'em down while riding bareback on a horse. At least that's what "the Sheriff" saw himself doing.

Now you might ask why Shepard signed up for the Alliance Marines if he was going to act like a gunslinger and eyeball the targets. Well it was simple really. Times were changing and the Commander wanted to bring back the Western days. Since no one on Earth ever listened to a damn thing he said, he decided to try his luck in space. Crazy right? Well you had to be crazy to shoot aliens with a revolver pistol in space.

Now Shepard had a job to do while spreading his image of the Wild, Wild West. Destroy the Reapers or some nonsense that he'd heard about at some time or another while proclaiming himself as a space cowboy. How to do that with revolvers? He didn't really know. So he upped his image. He wasn't seen without dusty jeans, a bandanna around the neck, and a plan t-shirt with a denim vest to go over it. His crew didn't laugh at him one bit though. The universe needed a little cowboy at the moment. Joker thought it passed the line when he started calling the Normandy a "fine steed." Needless to say, Joker was the best rider in the Wild, Wild, West of space. Edi was something of the caretaker of the Normandy to Shepard and he didn't have a clue how any of that fancy smanchy technology worked.

So Shepard planned on scaring away the Reapers, or plan B as Joker suggested, teaching them how to love and having weird hybrid babies with organic species. They all hoped plan A worked for the Commander. Naturally he succeeded. No one understood it except the Protheam expert, Liara. She was stunned that it actually worked like everyone else, but the Reapers had let humans live last time they cleansed the galaxy. She theorized that the Reapers thought humans were still stupid and incapable of anything because of Shepard's cowboy image and left Earth. As for the rest of the Galaxy, the humans didn't care. Shepard had saved them because of dressing like a cowboy. The rest of the alien species tried desperately to dress themselves as Shepard did as they fought while Earth de-civilized themselves and went back to the Wild, Wild, West. The girls wore dresses and were either ladies or prostitutes again as men ruled the Earth.