I'm so sorry I deleted this story, I wasn't liking where it was going but didn't think about my readers much. Thank you for your outcry and bringing it to my attention that you guys really enjoyed it. Now that I have a direction I think I can finish it. You may notice a few changes from the last time but minimal ones that probably will go unnoticed. THANKS AGAIN! ENJOY!
Scully was having a difficult time at work these days; there was a huge patient load, why did everyone decide to be coming down with illnesses all the sudden. And why the hell were they all coming to her hospital. She didn't mind the work, she enjoyed it and she always had. Being able to help people was what she was good at, she loved her time at the FBI, she would had never gotten involved with Mulder had it not been for the FBI, she loved when she taught at Quantico, she felt at that point in her life she was meant to teach, there was something stimulating about sharing her experiences and knowledge as a senior agent to the new recruits. But for some reason things were taking a toll, going on 8 years at the hospital now, she was looked up to by new staff and unfortunately talked about by much of the senior staff, something she was all too used to.
Scully knew it had nothing to do with the staffing or the work load, as she was used to that but it was a patient that had struck a chord with her this time. Not in a negative way, but in a lingering in her mind way. Ninety-nine percent of the time Scully was able to leave work at the door when she got home at night, her and Mulder would usually have a wonderful meal and share each other's company immensely but this patient, Rebecca, was stuck on her mind. A lot like Christian quite a few years ago, she felt this connection, not very often did she become involved in her patients personal lives but there was something about this one that she was drawn to.
"Hey…earth to Scully…you alright?" Mulder had always been in tune with Scully, good mood or bad he had gotten so used to her variable moods.
"Yeah. Sorry just thinking about work." Scully turned back to her plate and picked at her food.
"Food isn't that bad is it?" he was trying to lighten the mood.
"Huh?" she stared at him again.
"Scully you are a million miles away, what's up? You know that doctor/patient confidentiality crap doesn't work, you've spilled the beans with me before." He was right, she had confided in him a few times about work, she had to get it off her chest somehow and Mulder was a great listener.
"Mulder, you remember quite a few years ago when I trying those radical procedures on Christian…" Mulder nodded, "…well I've got another patient that has struck me in a strange way, I'm usually very good at leaving it at the door but she's just—" Scully trailed off, she honestly didn't know what it was about Rebecca that had struck her strange.
"Scully…you've got to stop getting drawn into these kids' lives. I know you still have lingering thoughts about William, I have them too—"
"Mulder, she is not even close in age to what William would be," she cut him off dropping her fork on her plate and pushing it towards the center of the table. Folding her arms in front of her, obviously a bit cross at Mulder's previous comment.
"Look, Scully, I'm sorry…" Mulder went silent, he knew he insulted her and felt terrible about it.
"I'm going to take a shower," Scully rose from her seat and left Mulder sitting at the table still feeling bad about what happened. Space was something that they found worked well for them when they had ever had an argument. Being able to distance from each other and gather their information on the topic and come back to it at a later time was what worked best for them.
Scully unbuttoned her blouse, throwing it to the bed followed quickly by her work slacks and nylons leaving her in just bra and panties, wandering into the bathroom and turning the shower on as hot as she could stand it she stood at the mirror staring at herself intently. Examining the aging skin before her, the heaviness had set into her eyes and she just looked incredibly tired. Removing bra and panties, Scully made her way to the steaming shower, stepping in she relished the feel of the hot water over her tired body, her mind whirling with Rebecca and why she was drawn to her. Rebecca had cancer, a terrible form of brain cancer, she was only in her 30's and she was full of questions and confusion. Scully explained it to her numerous times that cancer knows no age nor body type, people live with it every day and she was often reminded of her fight years ago. Though, for Scully, it ended up being an easy fix. Reaching her hands up, Scully cupped the back of her neck, she knew that stupid chip was the only thing that was keeping her cancer from killing her at this point. Why can't I do the same thing for this girl?
Scully thought long and hard a lot about 'playing God,' she remembered a conversation with that God forsaken, vile, smoking bastard, it was at her fingertips. But then again, maybe it wasn't, she couldn't do it anyways, it was not what nature intended, people had to die, people had to suffer and God knows in a Catholic hospital anything taboo was frowned upon. She had no choice but to agree with the oncologists and just treat what she could for the time being.
Finishing up her shower and stepping out, grabbing her robe she wrapped herself then made quick work of throwing her red/blonde tresses into a towel and walking into the bedroom, finding Mulder laying on the bed waiting for their argument to conclude.
"So did you figure out why you are drawn to this one?" he was sincere in his question.
"Maybe," sighing heavily she knew he wanted more, "…no…Mulder—I guess I don't really know why I'm drawn to her…she reminds me of me more than anything else. I guess that's why I'm drawn to her, full of questions, the understanding of forensic science, she was a FBI cadet Mulder…"
"Was...?" his interest peaked a bit more.
"She's got a cancerous brain tumor, she's dying Mulder and there is nothing to do for her, I just can't—"
"Operable?"
"No." she stared at him, hoping for more, "I've tried to explain these things to her but she wants to know a 'why'…and that's just not something I can really answer."
"So no more FBI? Maybe it's for the best, did you share with her your experience working with the FBI?" he joked lightly trying to get a smile out of her, it seemed to work a little bit.
"What explain to her that the FBI is full of conspiracy men?" her smile warmed a bit, showing she was not really upset but more contemplative.
"Scully, the best thing you can do for her is treat her you would any of your patients. Do what you can."
"The oncologist says there is no point…dammit why do I always get stuck with these cases. It's making me age too fast."
"You look wonderful and always will," Mulder held out his arms welcoming her into him. She obliged curling up next to him on the bed, "now me on the other hand, I need a life Scully, this whole man of the house thing is getting old."
"I told you, you could easily become a psychologist, you're great at reading people that way." Turning to him and giving him a kiss, Scully rose from the bed pulling the towel from atop her head, revealing slightly wet hair, making her way to the dresser and finding some pajamas for the evening. Mulder watching her every move as she pulled out her thin blue pajama bottoms and a white tank top for the night, throwing it on the bed, Scully made her way to the bathroom. Stripping her robe and hanging it up where it belonged she grabbed her lotion and made quick work of her arms, legs and face, pulling her hair into a loose ponytail, Scully walked back out to the bedroom catching Mulder staring longingly at her naked form.
"Not like you haven't seen it before and 'no' not tonight, I've got too much on my mind." She was honest and just couldn't bring herself to let loose tonight.
Nodding at her in complete understanding, Mulder rose from the bed and stripped himself of his t-shirt and jeans and crawled under the sheets.
"So you figure out how you are going to get Rebecca to understand this whole thing?"
"I have no idea…I—Mulder I want to tell her my ordeal but I can't 'fix' her the way I was fixed. I mean if I didn't have this stupid thing I'd have been dead long ago." Scully sighed and Mulder pulled his eyes away from her, knowing all too well what would happen to Scully if she ever had her chip removed.
"You could just explain to her that yours miraculously went into remission. People are usually willing to accept miracles and unexplainable phenomena and it will strangely change their own beliefs on how and why." Scully stared at him.
"Did I ever accept unexplainable phenomena without scientific proof?" Scully's brows shot to the top of her hairline.
"Well it took you long enough…but you slowly got there."
"Mulder, it literally is like talking to me 15 years ago…just as damn stubborn and difficult. I guess it's worth a shot, maybe she still has faith in miracles."
"Don't give up on those miracles, Scully." He smiled at her, heart breaking a little as tears formed in her eyes. Turning off the light, Scully made her way to bed and snuggled up against Mulder's side, still in deep thought about Rebecca. Never give up on a miracle.