A/n: I doth not own Naruto, or Ranma, nor any other anime franchise featured in this work of fiction. To be safe I'm making this a Ranma crossover, since Naruto will more than likely spend the bulk of any written reality dealing with a Jusenkyo curse of my choosing. I'm not going to reveal much until next chapter. And, so begins our fractured fairy tale…

Chapter 1

Ranma: Satan's Strongest Disciple

By Gabriel Lopez

In this particular instance, it was obvious to anyone with half a brain, that, the third time _was_ not the charm. Because, Naruto had once again failed his test to become an elite genin… Actually, what with being considered a dead last Mr. Nobody, this was not really Naruto's fault. Technically, because Naruto was an unfortunate victim of a fatalist universe (more specifically, one were the jinkurichi's very existence was contrived to a spectacular degree) wherein there was no way around the very obvious stumbling blocks that were laid before the poor, pathetic little orphan boy. Yet, despite this misfortune, Naruto had one thing going for him… he, being the son of the great fourth hokage, had a greater chance of becoming Hokage than some other poor little orphaned boy living in Kohona. Naruto, also had the fortune of having the ear of current Hokage. While technically considered a nobody by his peers and few petty small minded elitist businessmen. An epistemologist would know that Naruto, was truly the fortunate son of the Kohona prefecture, better known as the hidden leaf village, located within the borders of the fire country. Anyone that knew how to research a subject would also know Naruto had a reputation a mile long thanks to a certain demonic entity nestled in his belly. Oh sure, he was hated by just about everyone he met but that was only because they were afraid of him… Reputation means nothing without the power to back it up. Just as having knowledge and being correct are to very different concepts.

In a world where the right thing is half hearted equivalent to what gets the job done, the potential leadership skills the boy displayed were far too many to count. Of course, Kakashi hadn't really done any scounting on the boy, he just blindly assumed that Naruto had inherited natural leadership abilities from his parents. However, in all honesty it was the fact that naruto had the misfortune of raising himself that accounted for most of his personal management skills. And, If the recent theft of the forbidden scroll was any indication, the leadership skills displayed proved that Naruto wasn't motivated by fear or guilt, he wasn't afraid of failure, and with this single act of thievery the boy had essentially captured the broom from the witch's lair. Kakashi knew this, and if he could replace those baby teeth with a set of fangs he could establish his legacy as more than a footnote in some scroll attesting to the fact that he was trained by best, he would be the best…

Sure it was petty, cheap, and it outright surpassed laziness to take advantage of the boy's natural abilities in order to use them to gain an advantage, but, if it didn't work out he had already hand picked a group of maggots that were more or less predestined to be successful in some aspect of their lives. The bookworm had an IQ that rivaled that of Shikamaru's and the Uchia brat was a bit of a wildcard considering the 'sharingan hadn't activated yet. Unfortunately, two thirds of his dream team were scalped the previous year by Mighty Gai… But, considering the fact that the one Kakashi really wanted to train was Naruto it was no big loss. Of course, by train, Kakashi was dead set on following the path of the lazy toad, as taught to him by his own beloved sensei, wherein one need not do anything more than read dirty magazines while orchestrating some petty rivalry between Naruto and one of his other teammates. This would be enough to spur him forward to a level of unsurpassed glory. Of course, that meant Kakashi would have to take special care to make sure Naruto wouldn't become a whacked out nut job like Gai. Unfortunately, the Third Hokage had enough foresight to warn Kakashi he would also have the responsibility of making sure aforementioned rival didn't stop caring about others, or become a shiftless lay about… that last bit didn't really make much sense to him, but he was sure everything would work itself out in the end. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? If he did nothing to stop one of his pawns from becoming a lazy, selfish, good for nothing jackass, that was the student's problem. It wasn't like there's a line of ninja's ready to join Orochimaru at the drop of a hat, and the Shikamaru brat was good people. Besides pawns were expendable.

Funny thing about legacies is they're only important to historians, who themselves reduce everything from footnotes, to biographies, or a series of actual events, into a narrative that is nothing more than a series of blended cliché's. Compounded with the fact that most historians are historically renowned for their traditional jaunts to the local tavern in order to get self medicated, one should not be surprised to find one of the oldest historians in the universe, one Setsuna Mieou, who was nursing a bottle of whisky and a mug of ale mourning the loss of Crystal Tokyo … again. It goes without saying that Setsuna had more problems than being an immortal two fisted drinker who owed Anko Mitarashi a fist full of dollars and a knuckle sandwich. No, Setsuna's problem was one Naruto Kazima, or whatever the heck the boy's name was in this timeline. Who, because of a temporal paradox created just after the theft of the forbidden scroll, was now missing. The lynch pin of her grand scheme to restore Crystal Tokyo, as with all the Jinchuriki, was Naruto's first born, who was the predestined to be Neo Queen Serenity. This horrific turn of events was really Usagi's fault. Apparently, the princess had a problem with two thirds of the planetary population needlessly dying for a perfect utopia backing the 21st century… Fortunately, thanks to some further meddling by Setsuna the planet was now populated by amoral assassins that would understand that a few deaths are necessary for world peace. Sure, the united federation of planets might have been an interesting alternative to Crystal Tokyo, but it was probably better if she didn't have to compete with the borg or the dominion until later. Having learned from her previous mistakes, like allowing the death of Hitler for instance, Setsuna had finally ensured her…that is to say Queen Serenity's ideal vision of the perfect universe. Unfortunately, Naruto had done something completely unexpected… rather than learning the Shadow Clone Jutsu, as he had in roughly every temporal analysis, Naruto did something completely unexpected. He summoned a genie, a Djin, a mischievous member of the third race that would enjoy nothing more than to screw with Setsuna's perfect universe.

If it was a simple case of wishing he was never born, or something to that extent, a new reality would set in, Naruto would quickly realize that it's a wonderful life, and become nothing more than the victim of bizarre experiment in temporal physics. But NOOOOOOOOO! Naruto, displaying a bit of common sense for once wished he could be somewhere he belonged. Not where he was needed, not where he was wanted, but somewhere he belonged. His very existence was a kink in a fatalist universe, contrived, and the truth was he didn't belong in this universe anymore than any of the other jinchuriki. Genie's, being known for trickster ways that would make a fox blush like to ruin plans for utopian paradise. Not to mention it was a really stupid wish since what ever strange place you find yourself in is where you belong. So, being the typically vindictive fairy princess thing most genies were in general, the genie sent Naruto to Jusenkeyo of all places. Worse, Naruto fell into the one spring Setsuna hated with every cell in her being. Spring of drowned warrior princess. Which was created tragically after the fall of the Phoenix King Saffron. If she had known Ranma Saotome's consciousness would have survived to bite her in the ass like a monkey she would have never- Setsuna Swallowed half a pint of Alcohol in one gulp effectively killing what few brain cells she had focused on the subject. Oh well there was always next century.

Some time earlier….

It would be redundant Naruto to focus on the fact that he had failed the genin exam for the third time. It was easy to understand why Naruto was willing to believe he could make up the points he lost during the initial exam with an extra credit assignment. The assistant teacher, Mizuki, had assured Naruto that he need only retrieve one of the forbidden scrolls from the Hokoge's library, but had forgotten to specify which one.

Naruto scratched his head in contemplation. There were two forbidden scrolls because one was obviously a decoy. Dumb luck may have favored Naruto in picking the scroll in a nearly infinite number of parallel universes. Perhaps there were worlds where there was only one scroll, or worlds where Naruto was the spoiled son of the fourth Hokage. However, there may just as easily be worlds where Naruto had been adopted by a member of the Akatsuki, and worlds where he was raised by his mother. Just as there was the possibility, however small, that there were worlds where he was born a woodland fox whose piss smelled for 12 days. Within this world however he was the orphaned container of the kyubi no kitsune, who had no knowledge of this or his parentage.

Rather than dawdle around the library playing a game of inie meanie miny moe...in which case Naruto would have picked the scroll on the left. Naruto picked up the scroll on the right, because he had reasoned that the game of moe was for suckers and designed as a way of duping petty small minded elitist bastards into picking the second best. After all, if they always pointed at him fist before picking the guy next to him, that confirmed that the game was rigged.

The reason for the second scroll was to ensure the weight sensor under the forbidden scroll would trigger the alarm. Oddly enough, by removing the wrong scroll Naruto had successfully deactivated the alarm. Thus leaving the scroll unprotected should someone else manage to slip past the dozen or so guard dogs, anbu, and traps designed to out wit even the most seasoned of ninja. That's because as people get older they like to complicate things. Naruto, being wise beyond his years however preferred to complicate his life with the KISS method of planning. In other words Keep it simple stupid. Ironically, it was Kakashi (having personally designed the security measures protecting the library), that had originally noticed the one glaring flaw to the security of the Hokage Library early in it's construction. That, of course, being that the ventilation system allowed completely unfettered access to the entire facility.

Unfortunately, despite knowledge that any 90 pound weakling could easily sneek into the library within the Hokage tower, and pilfer a priceless manuscript; Kakashi's warnings were ignored. After all, while the scroll contained forbidden knowledge, the knowledge was forbidden only to civilians and foreigners. Because, if anyone could manipulate Chakra, then everyone would have would have equal authority. However, by limiting the knowledge to a select group, the knowledge then becomes useful only to those who understand the mechanics of chakra... essentially everyone who could use the knowledge already has. Meaning, maintaining the illusion of power was more important than actually having it. Kakashi's observations were noted, but no one on the council except Danzo felt it was worth the effort to bother with extra security measures unless someone managed to rob the place. In which case a colony of combat chipmunks would be specially trained to geld the nuts off the first male assassin to slip past security. It goes without saying that Danzo lacked the amount of wherewithal to pick up on sarcasm, and he immediately set to work training his unholy army of nutcrackers. Sadly, no one wanted to know what the squirrels were supposed to do should a woman trespass the facility.

Apparently, Danzo hadn't either as Naruto had managed to successfully penetrate the facility using his Sexy jutsu. Granted. Naruto didn't know if the rumors of Danzo's squirrel army were true, but then again he hadn't exactly been his usual self when he entered the facility. Of course, Mizuki's warning about the Squirrels had slipped his mind upon his exit of the facility. Memories of aforementioned warning quickly returned when he was swarmed by what could only be described as a swarm of beady eyed, flesh eating, monsters. Fortunately, Naruto put up a good chase and managed to out fox the little buggers without raising the alarm. Although, he did feel a tinge of remorse about using that creeping, peeping, old fart at the bathhouse as a decoy.

Eventually, Naruto managed to find his way to a clearing that was generally referred to training ground seven. It hadn't been used in years, mostly because Kakashi had failed his potential students on a regular basis because He didn't want to teach anyone that didn't already know how to take care of themselves, often using teamwork as a fall back reason for mission failure. It really had nothing to do with teamwork. As far as kakashi was concerned If two out of the three students could survive on their own and at least one of them was willing to protect those weaker than themselves 2/3's of his job was done and he could continue reading dirty magazines in peace.

Naruto looked at the scroll and discovered that it was to cerebral for him to grasp what he was reading. "Make a lecher cry like a whiney hoe?" Naruto read the words aloud hoping he could sound out what was written. Besides, he had already done that earlier when he lead the squirrels to that old guy at the bath house. As far as Naruto was concerned the scroll was full of nonsense and gibberish there was no way he could possibly learn a technique from this thing unless he paid more attention in his cryptographics class than was necessary. "Oh Hiney Ho….Mecca lecka High mecha Hiny Ho!"

((( Poof )))

" Thank you for releasing me from my prison young one." the blue fairy, that is to say, Genie of the scroll, smiled. " I will grant you one wish, because I want to reward you for the good that you have done here. However, Be forwarned, you will get exactly what you ask for so think carfu-"

"I wish I was the bestest Ninja in the entire world so that I can become hokage, because then everyone would acknowledge me and I could finally be somewhere I belong" Naruto's words seemed to jumble together, but the blue fairy scroll genie thought she got the gist of what the young boy said.

" If that is your wish." the Genie replied before she snapped her fingers. Of course, there was a reason the blue fairy was sealed in a forbidden scroll. Immediately, a wicked smirk or perhaps a sickly smile crossed the blue fairy's lips. Granted, most people were too distracted by the spark of magic to see how the façade of her beauty slipped in a moment of cruelty. This was because there was usually a spark of light that accompanied the snap of her fingers and immediately afterwards the light engulfed both Naruto and the blue fairy. This was before they vanished in a flicker of blinding light.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked a few times as he cleared his vision from the blinding flash. Naruto discovered he was quite alone as the wind whipped through his clothing like a sock puppet. Evidently, Naruto had reappeared about a thousand feet over Jusenkeyo, and was staring down at what he would later learn was the valley of cursed springs bellow. He momentarily wondered how he was going to avoid all the pointy bamboo poles sticking out of the small ponds bellow. Soon as he realized he was falling quite rapidly towards one of the springs. Technically, the poles weren't really pointy but at the speeds Naruto was traveling chances were he would be impaled on a stick like a piece of shrimp at a barbecue in about ten seconds.

Naruto rolled into a ball hoping it wouldn't hurt as bad as that one time he belly flopped into the lake under the hokage moment. Naruto clenched his teeth and sealed his eyes tightly for what almost certainly be his final cannon ball. Naruto's realization was mostly accurate because as soon as he collapsed into the spring he was engulfed by darkness as he swallowed a lungful of water and bashed his head against a stone. With a loud splash Naruto Uzimaki, the three foot terror of Kohona, was no more.

A young red headed girl no older than twelve broke the surface of the choppy waters in the spring less than a moment later. The girl coughed up a lung full of water and then a second "Dammit Ryoga cut it out! I could have drowned you…know" it was then that the martial artist formerly known as Ranma Saotome came to the realization that she was very much alone. Her second realization was that she was very small. "Augh! You fucking pig as soon as I get my hands on you p-chan your dead you hear me!" Ranma cried out to no one in particular. Just her luck. Honestly, falling into another cursed spring, and one that made her a little kid to boot. Although, Ranma reasoned, it could have been worse… she could have fallen into spring of drowned fox.

"Shut up brat you, sound like a woman!" came a voice from inside her head. Ranma looked around finding no one as she crawled her way out of the spring.

"Ryoga?" Ranma asked pitifully before questioning why there was no one else present. What happened to Akane, Ukyo and the others? Why was she all alone? Why was she dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and more importantly where the hell did that voice come from?

"hell?" said the mysterious voice, although it seemed more like a shocked question at first. Then the voice seemed like it had discovered the secret to unlocking a treasure chest. "Yes… hell. Buwah ha ha!" if the fox had a physical form it would be smirking "You've been a very bad bad boy Naruto"

"Naruto?" Ranma asked half puzzled.

Oh this was too perfect, the accident that had cracked the boy's skull open had given him amnesia. "Yes, It is I! The great demon you have been taught to cower before in fear. The great an powerful-"

"Satan?" Ranma asked in near amazement.

Odd, the Fox didn't recall the boy having any knowledge of Judeo-Christian religions…Whatever he could still use it "Yes it is I 'Satan,' and you will learn to fear me or else you'll be sorry."

"Wow," Ranma paused "I kinda expected Satan to be more impressive."

"Brat! I am Satan, you don't want to mess with the powers I have at my command."

"Riiiight…" It was at that moment Ranma had a sneaking suspicion that the voice in her head was all bluff.

A/n: Okay the fox is going to act as the relay between Ranma and Naruto's respective personalities. However, mischievous misinformation will filter from one to the other until 'Satan' has Ranma and Naruto effectively at each others throats… prepare for trouble.