As I reflected on my college experience over the last three years, I realized that I had no real sense of direction for my future. It seemed as though everyone had their lives figured out besides me. I was drowning in my new job, interning for the top PR firm in the state; but I was sure that talking to companies about their latest deals and how to market their ideas wasn't what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life. I was just there to get experience and to pass the time away as I prepared to graduate college.
Oh and did I mention that I'm still a virgin? A virgin with no career path. As all of my friends were getting married, having babies, and landing jobs at fortune five-hundred companies, I still didn't know what it was like to love and be loved. My best friend once told me that if I waited to experience sex, I was going to be left marrying a man with a crooked penis and a horrible sex life. Yes, I am referring to staying abstinent until marriage. After all, that's what my parents had engrained in me since I came crawling out of the womb. I was stuck between staying in my virgin bubble of comfortability with the possibility of one day having a boring sex life with a deformed cock or conforming to the world around me by letting myself experience sexual interaction with as many men as my body and heart would allow.
The thing is. Like most sexually deprived women, I've gotten so used to touching myself and having erotic fantasies that I don't see the big deal of losing my virginity to a man who's stuck his penis in multiple vaginas. I think I like the safety of my hands better. Safety from heartbreak and STDs…
Maybe this year will be the year. Maybe I'll finally have my Cinderella moment in the bed of a mature man who wants me just as much as I want him, but maybe I'm just wishful thinking. I need to get back to.. "Oh, crap! I am so sorry, Jose. Are you okay?". As Jose frustratingly wiped hot coffee from his white linen button-up, I could tell that he was biting his tongue to refrain from saying something that he might have regretted. Jose was the secretary at the PR firm that I was currently interning for. He was 6'1", chiseled in all of the right places, carried the perfect white smile, and was capable of more than having a decent body to admire. His smarts and wits are what kept my long days feeling short. After all, I was the new intern who got stuck with the tedious jobs that made digging for trash seem like fun.
Back in the boardroom, my god of a boss, Christian, demanded the attention of thirty people eager to hear his latest ideas and plans to execute them. Christian was 6'4", clearly fond of lifting weights, and a thirty year old executive who built this company from the ground up. His entrepreneurial self was just one of the many things that I admired about him… "Hi, Ana!". "Oh hi, Taylor!"… Gosh what is it about the men at this company. Their aroma of manliness makes me weak at the knees. Not to mention whenever a man says my name, I envision us climaxing together in a heat of passion as he says my name in a long, piercing cry that makes me all kinds of flushed.
"Ana, what is your intake on this?". Oh crap, I've just been awoken from my quick fantasy of passion and orgasms that I wasn't paying attention to Christian's proposal, and now he wants my opinion. "Umm.. Well, I think that it's great as long as we've reviewed the main objectives. Is it legal? Is it timely? Is it financially beneficial to both parties?". Oh thank, God, for my communication class last semester. I never really took anything out of the classroom and portrayed it in real life, but this was definitely beneficial for today. Ugh but why did I mention if it was legal?! Of course it's legal. I work for Christian freaking Grey, the entrepreneurial billionaire who's the son of the city's mayor. Damn it, Ana. Pay attention next time. "Okay, well thank you for your input, Ana. I will relay the message back to my lawyers to ensure that it is 100% legal". He ended his sentence with a wink that made me crawl down in my seat like the tomato-faced embarrassment that I was. Now, he'll never ask for my opinion.
Back at school, I was preparing for my first midterm of the semester with my best friend. Kate was always fun to study with. She made me forget about the stress of my job and always had two Angry Orchards with her. One for me and one for her. It was her idea of "drinking" in the subject material. I didn't care that I was studying quantum physics, as long as I wasn't being distracted by my overwhelming fantasies of fucking my boss. I was determined to make him mine. I couldn't leave this school with a Bachelor's degree and an un-popped cherry. That's so Jane Austen.