One day, Professor X was rolling around like a boss. Professor X giggled cutely when he "accidentally" ran over some students' feet. Professor X rollied up to Jean Grey and axed her, "Why do you look so blue jean?" Then he rolled away laughing. Then, he rolled up to Scott/Cyclops and assed him, "Don't you think it's weird to wear sunglassies indoors?" And he wheelied away wheezing.
Professor X then rolled up to Magnet-o, and asked him how much the "holla cost," asked him to pick up his parents (while giving him a broom and dust pan,) and asked him if the concentration camps helped him with his ADD. Magneto cried. Then, Professor X wheeled up to Wolverine and asked him if he's ever tried shaving with his claws, or if he's ever accidentally killed someone while fisting them. Wolverine walked away.
Professor X then rolled up to Iceman, asking him why he's so chill, and asking him why he's not called Snowman. And then Professor X asked Colossus why he's not called Iron Man or Man of Steel, why he's so metal, and if he's ever accidentally went into metal mode in an intimate moment. Professor X wheelied up to Quicksilver and asked him if he really is the fastest man in the world and if that's the reason why he doesn't have a girlfriend.
And then he asked Sabretooth why he's Sabretoooth, out of all the ferocious animals ever. He rolled away laughing. And then Professor X wheeled up to Storm and asked her why she's so useless. Storm made a raincloud follow him around. Professor X laughed because he loved to be wet. But he slipped and feel out of his wheelchair. Wolverine laughed in a bubby way. Professor X said "Oh no, now I'm in a feelchair! I've never heard you laugh before!"
Wolverine said, "Oh no, I haven't laughed since my parents died." Professor X said, "Wait, are you remembering your past?" Wolverine said, "No, I've always remembered. I just wanted to add to my appealing angst." Professor X said, "Wow." Wolverine said, "ikr." And Professor X said, "lol." Wolverine laughed so hard from the memes that he farted. Professor X giggled so hard that his face turned red. Magnet O said, "Omg you look like a native murcan" and laughed. Cyclops said, "That's racist." Magneto said, "No, it's not, I'm Jewish." Cyclops said, "You're white." Magneto said, "No, I'm Jewish." Cyclops said, "No, that's a religion, you're white." Magnet-o said, "Yes, but I am Jewish." Cyclops said, "ok."
Professor X crawled back onto his wheelchair and said, "I like sitting on wet things." "Like my poosay?" asked Nightcrawler. Professor X said, "Yes, I want yours, and Magnet-o, too!" Magneto gasped and said, "Magneat-o! You want my Magmeat-o!" And Nightcrawler said, "OH JA, GOTT IM HIMMEL - BITTE HABEN MEIN BRATWURST!" And he picked Professor X up, and sat in the wheelchair, and sat Professor X on his lap. Professor X said, "Oh yes indeed, honey!" Magnet-o, Nightcrawling, and Professor XXX all had fun all night.
Wolverine was a little scared, a little turned on, but he ran away in the end.