I'm back :D I had written this story two months ago but my computer crashed, luckily it automatically saved this and I was finally able to find it today. Tell me if you like this or not. Thank you for reading!
Myka doesn't care. Really, she doesn't. She could care less that all Helena has to freaking do is push a button –one stupid button- to end her misery. A simple yes or no would suffice! But no, the unflappable Myka Bering isn't pathetic enough to stress over that. Except…. she is.
She sits in her room flipping pages absent mindedly, having the book memorized long ago, just hours before she shared a goodnight kiss with Helena and a polite wave to the group as she left them to their devices (Claudia and Pete to their video games and Helena to her newest invention).
There's a war going on between her ears, one which –quite frankly- she knows is pointless. No matter the arguments made she'll do what she's done every night since she got the nerve to send the stupid request. She'll give up the fight when the temptation grows stronger than her stubbornness, and reach out to her tablet. Cautiously she'll bring up the web page and after typing in her log in, she'll close her eyes and tell herself that whatever happens, it doesn't matter. Then she'll take a deep breath, like a soldier preparing for battle, and open her green eyes only to face the tsunami of disappointment.
It happens again tonight.
She tries to calm herself, because really, what's the big deal? Maybe she just hasn't seen it yet?
Or doesn't want to broadcast? But in the back of her mind a pool of insecurity sits, and each day the cycle repeats, the pool gets higher and higher.
What if she doesn't love me?
What if she wants to break up?
Why won't she just tell me face to face, I can take it? Anything is better than this!
These thoughts and many similar ones make up the infesting pool.
She holds it in until finally, she lets the tears flow slowly down her cheeks. The melancholy of leaving the tear unwiped appeals to the literary fanatic in her, not to mention, the fact that the tears are even visible is a testament to her loss of control.
She stays starring blurriy through the pages in front of her, not even flinching –barely even noticing- when the door swings softly open.
"What is it, darling?" In an instant Myka is engulfed in a meant-to-be-comforting hug, but the realization that this will all end so soon brings more tears and heartache to Myka. "Surely my writing is not meant to cause tears, especially to you." Helena says in a soft voice, gently kissing her head.
"It's not that, it's just…" She trails off both trying to settle her voice and wishing she could play the tears off on something else –anything else- because once it is spoken of, once she brings it up, she knows Helena will come right out and end everything.
Unfortunately, Steve's not the only one who can tell when Myka is lying.
"I just uh, have you been online recently?"
The confused look she receives forces her to continue.
"Have you been on that site Claudia set you an account up on, Facebook?" She tries again, more tears escaping at its name, feeling the same fear saying it as a child reciting the third "bloody Mary."
Helena's confused look never wavers causing Myka to grasp for some hope, maybe she hadn't seen it? Maybe we're alright, maybe she still loves me? But the murky pool whispers of how good of an actress Helena can be, of how much more Helena deserves.
Helena's hand rises to brush away a few tears as she pushes a curl behind Myka's ear. "No, at least not since we created it. It reminded me of one of my old inventions that never quite worked so I've spent-"
It takes Myka's clouded mind until then to realize she truly hadn't seen it. The pool decreased in size, not fully gone but she had years of insecurities to work through for that to happen.
Quickly interrupting Helena mid-explanation with a soft, relieved kiss. She wiggled in Helena's arms, one hand combing her soft hair, the other searching for her phone.
Finally feeling more like her confident self, she pushes the phone into Helena's hand while breaking the kiss, with a soft whispered demand of, "check your Facebook."
With a raised eyebrow, soft kiss, and stroke of the cheek, Helena removes her hands and sets to logging in. Within seconds her brown eyes go foggy as realization hits and after a quick click the phone is expertly thrown on the nearby chair, while Helena's hands become otherwise occupied.
"Myka Bering." She greets the caller groggily as she shifts closer in Helena's arms, her eyes quickly glaring at the blinking red digits of their alarm, 3:46 a.m…great.
"I can't believe I had to find out from Facebook that my sister is dating someone! Really, Myka, really! Have you tol-"
The click of the phone and it's not so safe trip to the floor, are the least of her worries, as Myka snuggles back into her girlfriend's arms. She'll deal with it tomorrow.