Pieces.
She knocked on the door, not knowing what to expect. Though many seemed to expect her to be, Ursa never considered herself spontaneous. If anything, she always had to know what to expect; she was the opposite. She always thought of the consequences, what could go wrong; what could go right. Based off that she decided if the action was worth it, Ozai had taught her well, no? She had been like that before him; he simply made her question consequences more. She felt it was the only trait she passed onto Azula.
Ignoring the thoughts of her old life, the one she was forced to leave behind, Ursa focused on the door. She was ready to shake the knob, but had to remember some common respect, this wasn't her home. It never had been; she'd be lucky if she was ever able to call it that. She glanced at her watch again, only now realizing maybe it was too early to stop by. Maybe her being spontaneous was just never meant to happen. She took a step back and as she did so, the door creaked open. A half-dressed Hakoda stood with a dazed look, yawning as he blinked at her. Obviously he hadn't expected her; he did say to come by if she ever wanted to try, hadn't he? Or did she misunderstand, her nerves grew and she regretted having come to find him.
"Ursa?" He asked in a tired voice and she meekly nodded, looking to her feet. He frowned and tilted her chin up, her eyes full of confusion and worry; his with just worry. "What is it?" He asked, stroking her cheek with the side of his thumb. Without hesitation or second thought, she jumped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying. She was always so emotional, how stupid she must have looked.
"It can work…" She whispered, something he'd tried telling her only a few short weeks ago. It was her first relationship after Ozai, despite the numerous years of divorce. She wasn't ready to admit loss, but he was so giving; so loving. He was everything she thought she'd lost when she lost Ozai, and then some. He smiled in her hair, taking in the morning welcome by kissing the side of her head, ultimately through her wavy hair.
"I know it can." He confided and she nodded, looking up once she felt her tears had dried. His smile was warm, welcoming. He stroked her back in a soothing manner, to comfort her. She'd tried so hard to get what she gave back from Ozai, and miraculously it had come to her, just this was a new person. A new start.
All The Same.
The course of the years had done Ursa good, or so she believed. She was more confident in herself, more carefree. She had already gone through the family life, and been denied of it by Ozai. She lived for herself, and now she was there for Hakoda. There still wasn't a day where she didn't wonder about Azula and Zuko; had Ozai had any more children? No, she was sure it'd make headlines somewhere. She'd gladly gone back to her maiden name to avoid questioning, but still looked up her children every two months to see if they were in the area. They never were; she'd given up trying to find their location after two years of searching when Zuko was eighteen. Cutting her off from her children was the worst thing Ozai had done to her.
"You alright?" Hakoda smiled as he sat beside her on the couch, pulling her toned legs across his lap and she shook her head, sipping her glass of red wine. She leaned in to gently kiss his lips afterwards and placed the glass at her side. He closed his eyes before returning her kiss, deepening it any way he could, and pulling her to his lap.
"You're so good…" She whispered, secretly they had been the best few months of her life, but she wasn't ready to scare her off. She felt like a schoolgirl, yearning to be around him and not sure to do with herself if she wasn't. He nodded and pulled away, stroking her hair so it stayed out of her face as she rested her head against his chest.
"What's this?" He held her hand, palm up, and pointed out a faint scar that went from its center down her arm. He somehow missed it before, maybe she was hiding it. She giggled to herself; he couldn't tell if it was because she was embarrassed of it or she found it funny, maybe funny he only took notice now.
"He burned me…I forget when it happened." She answered truthfully, analyzing what seemed to be the only permanent thing Ozai left her with. She sighed and pulled her sleeve down, slipping her arm around his abdomen and looking up to him.
"…sorry." He frowned, knowing she was barricading her feelings; knowing it'd all come down at once like when she'd confronted him at his doorstep. She nodded, her expression saddened. Another sip of her wine, it seemed to help a little.
"It's all the same….my relationship with Ozai. I mean, we started out fine but he just got…worse and worse. I don't know what I did but…" She stopped when he pecked her forehead, catching her attention.
"You did nothing." He assured and she smiled; trying to believe him.
Comatose.
She rolled on her side, to face him. Ursa pulled the soft covers over her exposed body, Hakoda slept soundly. He was so at peace, despite everything he'd gone through. And she was only told some of his stories. His wife, Kaya, she sounded like a sweet woman and she'd died. She wondered what it was like, finding your true love and it slipping through your fingers. She wondered what that marked Ozai as, surely she'd loved him at one point, but Hakoda was like a reawakening to her. He gave her so much affection and the opportunity to openly speak her mind; two of the many things Ozai seemed to lack. Of course, the sex had always been good. Was that what became of her relationship, her only true memories of her ex-husband?
"I adore you…" She whispered, shifting her body nearer to his, wrapping his arm around her waist. His touch was so tender, she loved the way it felt. She wanted him to wake up; she'd gladly give herself to him, the sensation from the previous night replaying in her mind. She hoped when she woke up she wouldn't find out it had been a dream, a tease of a life she would never have. But it was real; all of it.
"Morning…" He mumbled with his eyes closed as she played with the small facial hair on his chin, clandestinely hoping it'd wake him. He opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of her. She playfully kissed his neck and he pulled her to him, chest to chest, and held her. "I love you, Ursa."
"I do, too." She frowned, embarrassed by her inability to three simple words. He still held her close, making her feel the way he always did; secure.
Don't Believe.
Ursa silently cooked, Hakoda was working and she figured he'd come home to a surprise. He seemed to like little things like this, just a little 'I thought of you' hint. As she set the table, she heard him come in, smiling to herself. She was proud of her little act, and with them both not working tomorrow, they'd have the whole night together.
"Something smells good." He called from the living room, removing his boots and jacket and she waited for him to get ready before coming in the kitchen. "Aw, you didn't have to Kay…" he stopped and she stared.
"What did you just call me?" She asked and he shook his head, as though the simple gesture would take the words back to his tongue. He saw the hurt, she was crushed. He'd devastated her, with a single syllable. Still, she waited for him to answer her. He looked away, feeling his guilt grow but knowing he couldn't lie. She already had enough trust issues with the world.
"I'm sorry, Ursa." He apologized and she nodded, setting his plate on the table and going in the bedroom. Was she on the verge of tears? He hoped not; but he attempted to find out. He followed her to the room until a door slammed in his face and a 'click' signaled he was locked out. She told him they had both been through too much, but it was the wrong name. Then he thought if she ever dared to call him Ozai, she felt like he didn't want her. Like she was a replacement. And at the moment, he couldn't do anything about it.
He sat at the head of the table and ate the plate she had specially prepared for him; an eerie silence filled the house for the first time since she'd moved in.
Higher.
He sat beside her on the beach. It was cold, but she still agreed to come; he figured she needed the air. He rubbed her thighs that lay across his lap, her back on the sand and her eyes on the sky. She was questioning it, this, their relationship.
"How many kids did you say you had?" He would see if she would still open up to him. If she did, if she trusted and loved him without doubt, he would go through with it.
"Two…a boy and girl." She mumbled and he smiled, patting her knee so she would look up to him, of course she did.
"My son just got married recently, Sokka. He doesn't live around here so I didn't get to go, but still." He grinned. "I have a daughter, too. Do you see them anymore?" He asked with a hopeful smile and she shook her head. Another guilt trip he'd have to take now, he couldn't help it.
"Ozai took them from me…" She bit her bottom lip. "How was your son's wedding?" She changed the subject and he shrugged.
"Alright, was kind of sudden, him and Azula have only been together around a year or so." He sighed and her back shot up, which startled him, just a little. He arched his brow at her and she nearly pounced him, jumping on his lap and grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt.
"Azula?" She asked and he nodded; he could bring her children back to her. He could give her what Ozai had taken away, she knew he could. He saw her mixed emotions and decided before this went anywhere else, he would make his offer. Now or never, right?
"Ursa, I want to marry you." He said with a stern expression, one she had grown accustom to. Her eyes lit up, somehow he'd fixed her mood, and something told him it was beyond the proposal. Still, he pulled out the small velvet box and she clapped her hands together in anticipation, wiping her eyes at the sight of the diamond ring.
"It's beautiful…" She pulled him close. He embraced her. Everything was back in place, in order. She knew she would marry Hakoda, and be happy throughout the entire marriage. She knew she'd see her children again; she'd make up for lost time. She'd do anything they asked.
All she had to do was wait.
This is really very brief, I know. I'm more fond of Ursa with Ozai (they're actually a favorite I hope to get to), but this is a pairing I always wanted to experiment with…so I did. Review?
I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
