Disclaimer: They're not mine, this is not for profit, please don't sue me, I just love the show.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: A Bugs Life, A Human Reaction.

Setting: Nerve, slightly AU.

Authors Notes: Just the usual, huge thanks to Minh, and please review! :)

Darkness

I sit here, helpless, watching her dying. It's killing me. I see her in pain, excruciating pain, but I can do nothing. Her life is ebbing away in front of my eyes, each breath more ragged than the last… We are still more than three arns from the Gammak base, and my frantic mind forms a plan. A plan to save the life of this amazing woman. But until I can execute it I can do nothing, nothing except hold her hand and pray to who ever is in charge up there to spare her life.

I sit beside her, in the darkness, blinding darkness… a relief to not be able to see her. The darkness shuts out her pain... it shuts out her suffering. She drifts in and out of consciousness…

I talk to her, not knowing if she can hear… just to keep her focussed on this world and not the next… I tell her about my home and how my dad would love to meet her, I tell her about my friends, DK, the Farscape project. I tell her about how my life changed irreversibly when I came here, how it changed irreversibly when I met her. How I need her to live… for me…

~*~

I lie here, helpless, the stab wound still painful in my side. It's killing me. The pain is indescribable, excruciating, agonising, unbearable. I never thought anything could hurt like this… I can still see the blade… and Larraq… I can still see him standing over me… I never thought he would… he sits by my side now… watching over me… but he killed me… he destroyed me… why is he here? No… it's not him… the other one… the Human… the strange one… but why is he here? Peacekeepers are trained to fight alone… to die alone… then why… why is his presence so comforting? His familiar form in the darkness… his gentle touch… he talks to me… softly, like no Peacekeeper I have ever known… Who is he… this man beside me…? A captain…? Never… but the uniform… who is he…?

He calls my name, calling me back from the edge. There is something in his voice... it triggers a memory, a hidden memory… of course… the human. He has a name… we have been close… why can't I remember his name…?! Terror rips through me… why… his name… why is it important…? He is just a crew member… but still… the fear that I cannot remember him… he says my name again, and in that instant I recall, crystal clear, a flash, a moment, frozen in time, a planet, a thunderstorm, I see him standing at the window, silhouetted against the sky… Crichton… his name… John…

I listen to his voice… it keeps me here… I can bear the pain… I don't want to leave… I don't want to die… I want to live… for him…