Landslide

Leah's point of view

Imprinting. The thought made my stomach flop. Why did all good things absolutely have to come to an end? I felt the heaviness in my chest ease up whenever Jacob was around. Not right away, of course, but as time went on, being in his pack, we had grown to accumulate a mutual understanding between one another and since then, since I finally allowed someone in... I hadn't felt more alive in a long, long time. And then he imprinted on Bella and Edward's half-breed. I wasn't used to feeling vulnerable. Usually I could just put a show on, and pretend as though I was impenetrable and whatever the guys said never got to me sometimes, but now I felt as though I let someone in and I couldn't get him back out, now.

Saying I could care less was only for dramatic flare. I cared, oh, I cared a lot. When I found out, Jacob was so in touch with his emotions and feeling his world turn upside down that he hadn't notice me leave. Seth allowed me to have some peace to myself, not realizing the bond Jacob and I had matured. He thought I just needed away from the Cullen's for a while, so he let me go, too.

I remember running into the woods, unable to even turn into my wolf form before I collapsed out of exhaustion from the past few sleepless days and having my frame wrack with sobs. They were tearless; just painful. I couldn't find any tears to cry, I knew that Jacob and I were nothing more than friends but for that short period of time he was able to help me feel better. I didn't forget about Sam and Emily, no, but I felt lighter and happier and now that he had imprinted on that half breed... Well, that was gone. My thoughts would once again be intruded upon by thoughts of perfect love and imprinting. I may as well go back to Sam's. No, actually, I was still better off here as depressing as it was to feel as though you didn't belong anywhere. I wouldn't leave Seth. Despite wanting to leave Sam I also came to Jacob's pack to protect my little brother, just like I said I would.

That night seemed so long ago, but it was only a little while before the volturi came to destroy the Cullen's. That event had been exactly a week ago today and I was so tired already of listening to Jacob's thoughts about Renesmee. Quil and Embry had joined our pack. Sam gained many new shape shifters and with no hard feelings, Quil and Embry told him they had to follow Jacob. Sam knew it was coming and although our packs were friendly and still interacted on a normal basis, I was glad to be out of Sam's head even if it meant being in Jacob's.

I was able to control my thoughts around Jacob, though, or better yet, most of the time, I thought nothing lately. I didn't want him to see that his smile made me feel safe and I was happier with him than I had been in a long, long time. It took a while to get used to, and a few runs a day myself so that I could express myself without the others hearing, but when I was in wolf form lately, even if it was just with Jacob, or the others, I thought nothing. Quil and Embry thought of it as a refreshing start to their new pack. Before, after I had talked openly with Jacob, both of us let our thoughts wander naturally, even if that meant ending up on Sam or Bella. We... well, we sort of comforted each other while the other remembered old memories, good and bad. Not all cute and adorable like It'll be okay or forget her, more along the lines of getting the other back on task, interrupting their thoughts by giving them a direction or Jacob giving me an order to patrol further West, that kind of thing. It got our minds from the gutter but it didn't intrude upon our own personal space. It had been a nice

"Leah?" Jacob called from the Cullen's house.

We had taken up a permanent residence in a quite large house that Esme and Carlisle had built close to their own, in the woods for our pack. It was far away enough for me to have my peace, and close enough for Jacob to gawk over Renesmee every free minute he got. Win win, I guess, even though I still would rather to be far away from the Cullen's. At least this was a free way of living and we could feed and cloth ourselves without letting the leeches try to do it for us.

"Yeah?" I responded, standing up from the lake I was sat beside a moment ago, playing with the water with my fingertips.

I wiped my hand off in my shorts as Jacob walked over to me, the Cullen's house still in view. God help it if he's away from Renesmee for a second. He may miss her first tooth breaking through the gums, I scoffed inwardly, despite the fact that she was growing up faster and faster every day. Did that mean when she looked matured, and her mind technically was, too, that Jacob was able to be with her as more than a brother? Even if her technical age was really only a couple years old? A million questions filled my mind and I pushed them all away not wanting to think about him and his stupid imprint. I wasn't as friendly with him anymore, I realized. I wasn't mad at him... No, not exactly, but I was just angry at fate once again and I couldn't keep my hostility aside anymore. I assumed he noticed the change when he said, "I wanted to talk to you while Seth's inside with Nessie and Quil and Embry are eating."

I sighed, running a hand through my short hair. I had actually let Rosalie cut it the other day, surprisingly. Honestly, she was the only Cullen I got along with. I didn't hate them, no, but Rosalie and I... We clicked somehow. We were far from best friends and it was still somewhat painful to be around her considering she was a vampire, but she was nice to me. It bugged Jacob because he hated her, but I thought that was even more amusing. Her dark-haired husband, Emmett, was nice too although I didn't want to get to know him anymore than I had to. "About?" I asked Jacob.

He frowned, quirking a brow. "You're off lately. Is seeing Sam a lot more upsetting you? I mean, Leah I know it's hard but-"

"I'm looking into the classes we agreed on; The yoga," I told him softly. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not so don't pretend. You hardly even let me into your head anymore when we're patrolling. I thought we crossed some barriers and were able to open up a little more. I mean I know I'm not Sam and you'll never let me in like you let him in, or Emily, but I'd still like to be able to talk without feeling like you're not listening. When it's just us on patrol you don't have to keep the barriers up like you do with Quil and Embry. You're too passionate not to feel something."

His words weren't angry or accusing, they were factual. So he had picked up on it. Still, I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't know why I was so angry that he imprinted. I was still head over heels for Sam, right? Joining Jacob's pack was more of a convenience, not a happy choice. He was my Alpha and that was all.

But I knew in my heart that wasn't true. Jacob made me feel safe, somehow. I obeyed him happily and patrolled with him in a comfortable silence. He understood my heartbreak. But not anymore. I was glad he didn't feel incomplete anymore, but it hurt me to know that he had found someone to make sure he would never be alone again and I hadn't.

"I do listen," I said strongly. I listened to everything he said. "I just don't know what to say anymore," I admitted, shrugging, not giving too much away.

What was I keeping from Jacob Black? I was so, intensely jealous of everyone who imprinted. He knew that, yes, but there was more. I was jealous of Renesmee. She was like a crater in my plans, and yet a blessing to Rosalie. That was one thing we didn't have in common.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "Be yourself, like usual." His words were slightly confused - like he had just given me answers to everything - as though it was the most obvious thing in the world to just be myself; as though he loved the real me. I knew the difference, though.

"I am being myself, Jacob. This is me. I'm a bitch; I'm cold and harpy and everyone knows it. Quil and Embry still don't like me-"

"They don't know you, Leah. This isn't you. The old you, that's you. You can pretend all you want, but come on. You can't fool me."

That terrified me; the thought that he could look into my soul and understand me more than I could understand myself. "You don't know me either," I snapped, frowning. "Jacob you delude yourself into thinking I'm fixable; someday I'll imprint and be happy, or I'm getting better and over Sam. I'm the same as I was, I'm just used to it."

"This isn't you," he repeated, exasperatedly. "Leah the girl you showed me when you first joined... The hurt, fragile girl... That's you. You're strong as Hell, but you're hurt, too. This girl... The 'bitch'... It's your defensive mechanism. It's not you." His words were strained; he was grasping at something to make me come to my senses, trying to break through.

I frowned, "Then who am I if you know me so well?"

"You're Leah Clearwater. Clearwater's are strong and independent and beautiful inside and out," he said gently, trying to keep his own temper in check. "You don't realize what you're worth, Leah, and you should because you're a terrific pack mate, and you're my Beta. You need help sometimes and you won't admit it, but I am here to help you but you have to let me in because once you do you'll be a lot happie-"

I kissed him.

Yep.

I kissed him.

I leaned in right then and there, enclosing the distance between us and my lips pressed against his. He didn't pull back in disgust or push me away, and his lips moved on mine as well, but only for a split second, while he was in shock. Your initial reaction when someone kisses you, I guess, is to kiss back and then, he pulled away timidly.

"Leah..."

What did I do? I turned away from him, facing the river, as I watched the water cascade down the rocks, and down a small waterfall a little further down. I gulped, my lips burning from the contact with his own. I hadn't kissed anyone in years; since Sam and I don't know what possessed me to do it just then. I took a deep breath in, steadying myself. I was pretty much all over the place with my emotions. I felt something toward Jacob. I don't know what it was, but I knew I was angry because of his imprint. "I'm sorry," I muttered under my breath, convincing myself it never happened. "Just forget it."

I knew once my lips made contact with his, he knew everything I was holding back from him. No words had to be spoken to convey my emotions, he understood. He was confused, albeit, but he understood.

"We're not going to forget it," he said, slightly taken aback. "Whatever... Whatever is going on, whatever you're thinking... We really do have to talk, Leah. About this; about everything."

Jacob's point of view

What the Hell had just happened? My head was spinning out of control, my thoughts bouncing all over the place. Is this what she's been keeping from me? Did she feel something more toward me than a friend? I had it all pieced together, but I still didn't completely understand it, either... Leah? Leah Clearwater liked me? None of it make sense at all. She was completely wrapped up in Sam... I knew for certain that this should stay between us, though. Even if it would be a little awkward in wolf form, and I had to remember to keep this away from the other guys for her sake.

A part of me wanted to turn away in shock and try to comprehend what just happened on my own, but the bigger part of me realized that I couldn't just be insensitive and leave her there without any response. Still, I didn't know what that response was - or should be. I took a deep breath in, my eyes wide as I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know what to say, and I would be lying if I said I did. I don't know anything that's going through your head right now. You've officially rendered me speechless, Ms. Clearwater," my sense of humour took over, trying to laugh this whole thing off as some sick joke she was playing.

She didn't move and stayed turned away from me. I didn't know what to do, and I looked around at the scenery. Then, I saw Embry behind me, up further from the river. It looked like he was coming down to talk to me, but by the look on his face, he had seen it all and was frozen in place. I panicked and gave him a look that told him to keep his mouth shut. He nodded and turned away, going into the woods on the opposite side of the Cullen's, back toward our house. This was just great.

"Leah," I said, reaching out and touching her shoulder in a more serious light. "I'm sorry that you feel this way."

"Why?" She asked, spinning around, her eyes clouded with unfallen tears, fists clenched. "Because you're forever indebted to that half-breed? Because you'll never be what I need? I'm tired of hearing that excuse, I'm always second best to an imprint. That's not what I want, Jacob. I don't want to be second best anymore, and I don't want your pity because you feel sorry for me. I don't know what I feel anymore, but I know what I don't want to feel."

She didn't stick around for me to see the tears fall, and I felt like crap, but the boyish part of me stayed glued to the ground while she went around me and exploded into her wolf form, jumping over the river and bounding off into the woods. I was tempted to follow her, but I thought she should have some time alone. Or maybe I was the one that needed some time alone. Regardless, I turned on my heel, cursed, and jogged up toward the Cullen's, following the path Embry had taken.

Authors note:
I thought this would be a cute little fluff while I desperately try to finish the next chapter of Wounded. I never explored the idea of Leah being hurt when Jacob imprinted, mainly because I always pretended he didn't. I still feel like he shouldn't have but this is a more realistic approach to post-BD life for Leah. I feel like she got hurt over it because she was just building a bond with him and she trusted him and I think I'd feel betrayed, too, despite if it could have been helped or not! Anyways, reviews are very welcome and maybe this will turn into a chapter story if you guys like it!

- Dramaticfield