Disclaimer: Scholastic Inc. and Ann M. Martin own all original BSC characters. Scenario is all mine.
Notes: This does not take into account any of the BSC spinoff series (California Diaries, Friends Forever), so I apologize if there are inconsistencies.
Chapter 1
Blue.
I'm only nineteen. This shouldn't be happening. I've always been careful. I've always been sensible. I know the risks—this shouldn't be happening to me!
Of course, you don't even know who I am. Maybe I should back up. My name's Dawn Schafer. I live in Los Angeles and I just finished my freshman year at UCLA, and like I said, I'm nineteen years old.
And I'm pregnant.
I can't believe this.
I've been living on my own for less than a year—when I graduated from High School, I decided to get my own place immediately—I didn't want to go into the dorms—and I wanted to be able to explore all the neat little areas in LA. I've always been kind of chicken about cities, but I've gotten braver. It helps that Los Angeles has so many different neighborhoods. It's a lot like the boroughs in New York—just more laid back. Like everything in California—it's part of why I love living here. My father and stepmother bought me a car for my graduation gift—it's one of those hybrid cars, which I absolutely adore. I'm very passionate about the environment—I'm actually studying pre-law, and I intend on focusing on Environmental Law.
I don't know if that's going to be possible now.
I was still staring at the little blue line on the pregnancy test when the phone rang. "Hello?" I said.
"Dawn?" It was my stepsister and best friend, Mary Anne Spier.
"Yeah." I swallowed hard.
"I'm just going to guess," she said, "that it isn't good news. Oh Dawn…"
"Don't, Mary Anne. Don't be nice to me right now." I was holding on to my composure as best I could, but hearing Mary Anne's gentle, sympathetic voice was about to push me right over the edge.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked. I could hear her voice getting tighter—she was about to cry too. I didn't know if it was because I'd snapped at her, or if it was sympathy for me. The one thing I was sure was that she wasn't disappointed in me. I'd been very open with her that I was worried, and she'd been nothing but supportive. I guess she'd understand—she and her boyfriend had a scare once when we were just fifteen. It was a false alarm, but I don't think either of us will ever forget it.
"Dawn?" Mary Anne said.
"I'm sorry. I'm spaced out, I guess. I just keep staring at the stupid test stick. I don't know what I'm going to do." The stick in my hand was getting blurry. I fought hard against the tears.
"Do you want me to come out there?," she asked, "Dad will send me…"
"You're not going to tell him and Mom, are you?!" I interrupted, panicked.
"No, I'd never do that. That's your decision to make. What I mean is, with school out, I could get Dad to send me on a visit. I'm working in his office this summer, so it wouldn't be a matter of getting time off." She paused, as if considering. "I don't think you should be alone right now."
"I don't want anyone to know, not yet anyway." Not until I knew what I was going to do.
"I won't tell anyone. Let me call you back, and I'll see how fast I can get out. Does your apartment allow pets?"
I felt dazed. "Yeah, I think so. Why?"
"I'm bringing Tigger with me. He's fantastic when you're upset—and he's worried about you. He's sitting here in my lap right now purring." I could imagine her, sitting in the kitchen in our family's house in Connecticut. She was probably playing with her short, brown hair with one hand and petting Tigger with the other, the phone tucked up between her chin and her shoulder. How many thousands of phone calls had I seen her make just like that?
"I love you, Mary Anne. You're the best sister a girl could ever have."
"Love you too, Dawn. I'll call right back." Click.
I stared at the stick some more.
Mary Anne has been my stepsister for six years, and my best friend for seven. And she still amazes me. When we met, we were both just twelve—my parents had just gotten divorced, and my mom had moved me and my brother Jeff all the way to Stoneybrook, Connecticut, where she grew up. Mary Anne and I hit it off right away—and later we found out that her father (Richard) and my mother had been high school sweethearts. When we reintroduced them, they started dating again (Mary Anne's mom died when she was really little), and eventually got married. My brother Jeff and I both wound up moving back to California to live with our dad, but Mary Anne and I stayed really close. I visited her whenever I could, and a few times she came out to see me. I've stayed pretty close to most of my friends from Stoneybrook, but I couldn't make myself tell any of them this kind of news. Not to mention my mother—she and I have always been very, very close (even though I couldn't stay in Connecticut), and I knew this would break her heart.
I was profoundly glad that school was out—I can't imagine trying to keep up with my classes in the middle of something like this. As it was, I had to find a way to get to work—I was scheduled for a closing shift at Starbucks in about two hours. Suddenly, I realized that there was no way I could even try and care about frappachinos and half-caf-soy-lattes on a day like this. I called my boss and told him that I was sick, and that I'd try to come in tomorrow. I think he believed me—and it wasn't really a lie. I felt sick, and I'd thrown up twice already.
The phone rang almost as soon as I'd hung up.
"'Lo?" I tried to sound cheerful.
"Its me again," said Mary Anne, "Dad and Sharon are going to fly me out on Thursday."
"Oh my God, that's amazing. That must cost a fortune!" I couldn't believe it; Richard is kind of a tightwad, and it was only Tuesday.
"Not really," she said, "Dad's racked up enough frequent flier miles that he can get my ticket for free. Is it okay if I stay with you?"
"Of course! Um…but…what did you tell them?"
I could almost hear her smiling. "Dawn, for the last week you've been trying to get up the guts to take that test. I knew you'd need me, so I started talking to them then. I've just been telling them how much I want to see you before I get too buried in work to get away." She laughed a little nervously. "Dad thinks it's very responsible, and he'd already said yes—I just wanted to find out if he'd already gotten me a ticket."
"Mary Anne!"
"I can be sneaky when I need to be, Dawn. Do you really think I'd let you go through this alone? Even if it had been a false alarm, I would have come out. I haven't forgotten that week, you know." Apparently I wasn't the only one remembering that.
"I can hardly wait to see you. You won't mind that I'll have to work some?"
"Nah. I'll find something to do. You just worry about yourself for now. Can you make it two days?"
"I'll get through. I've got a lot to think about. Have I mentioned what a wonderful sister you are?" The tears wouldn't hold back any longer, and before I knew it I was sobbing all over the phone.
"Oh Dawn," she kept saying helplessly, "It'll be okay."
"How can this be okay?" I sobbed, thanking God for cordless phones as I staggered to the bathroom for a tissue. I still had that damned stick in my hand.
"We'll find a way. It'll be okay somehow."
After I'd sobbed myself out, I did have sense enough to find out when Mary Anne's flight would get in. I got all the information and hung up, grateful beyond words.
Back to staring at my stick.