*sighs* I need to stop listening to music or I'll never get around to updating my other fics...This started as a one shot, took over my head til I wrote it and is currently burrowing into my brain as a series of one shots from different POVs, but for now it can just be a stand alone, I left a lot out because I might write other characters, if anyone is interested let me know, but for now it's complete...
Don't own Glee or the characters, I guess there's what might be considered spoilers, but are really just random throwbacks to a few events up til the season 2 Christmas Episode
I Got Time While She Got Freedom
I used to think that I would marry Quinn, I guess things don't always turn out the way you might think because right after that I really believed that one day I would marry Rachel. Boy do I feel stupid sitting in the Berry's yard celebrating the fact that both women I saw myself spending the rest of my life with are smiling and planning on marrying each other.
Rachel ambushed me and I'm trying hard not to be hurt because even after graduating five years ago she's still my best friend and I still love her and want her to be happy, but part of me wishes that I could punch Quinn Fabray in the face. I wonder if I would be so hesitant if she was a guy.
See the thing is I know that I'm not always the smartest guy in the world, but Quinn and Rachel blew me away. They became friends and sorta started dating while we were Juniors. Right after everything went down with Santana spilling the beans about taking my virginity, but no one knew until we were Seniors and even then it was pretty hush, hush.
After I found out I just sat back. I knew it must be some sort of plan that Quinn had to humiliate Rachel and I figured I would wait for it to happen and then swoop in to save her. Only trouble with that was it never actually happened and five years later I'm sitting by myself staring at Rachel's smile and still wondering when exactly everything changed.
The first time I actually noticed that something had changed was when Rachel didn't try to sit next to me in Glee. It was about a month after Christmas when I had told her that I didn't think that I could forgive her. The truth, I had already forgiven her. It's not like she had slept with Puck, and she didn't lie about it, but this little part of me wanted to teach her a lesson. So anyway she walks into the choir room and instead of heading over to me because "we're co-captains, and we need to display a certain amount of professionalism for the club to function properly" she heads over and sits next to Puck.
Puck grins and drapes his arm around my girlfriend and I start remembering the way my fist felt when I punched him last year. He leans over and whispers something in her ear and she smiles and I feel sorta puzzled when I try to remember the last time she did that. I start thinking that maybe my plan to wait til Regionals to tell Rachel I forgive her is a bad one and I look for an opening to talk to her alone.
It doesn't happen though because it's like her and Puck are dating or something and they're always together. I know I told Rachel that I needed time and I've spent most of it pretty much wrapped up in regaining my popularity, you know with football and going out on a few dates with Santana and some of the other cheerleaders, but when did that happen.
So anyway, the next time I look up from my own life Rachel is still sitting next to Puck and I spend the next few days noticing all these little things that have changed over the last few months. Puck is actually in Math class sitting next to Rachel looking at her book instead of in the nurses office napping, I can't remember the last time anyone threw a slushy, and Kurt is back at McKinley. The last is the worst, but not the biggest because am I really that dumb that I didn't notice my own brother had transferred schools again.
The biggest is Glee. It seems that the club has drawn some sort of invisible line between Rachel and me and I know that Schuester doesn't notice because how could anyone. The split is the weirdest thing in the world, but even me being a little slow to figure things out can figure out that the Glee club has chosen sides. Rachel sits surrounded by Quinn, Sam, Puck, Mike and with Mike comes Tina. In the divorce I get Mercedes, Kurt, San and Brittany, and somehow I end up with Artie. I can't help thinking that I got the short end of the deal.
Puck and Rachel start singing duets in Glee club and the entire school thinks they're a couple including me. I feel a little better when I ask and they both deny it, but worse because Rachel tells me that she doesn't think we can be friends for a while because this time she's not ready. I'm feeling pretty good when she shows up at my door the next day obviously having changed her mind, but I feel my smirk turn to a scowl when I hear my mother tell her it's the second door on the right. Rachel is here to see Kurt.
Rachel becomes a fixture in my house and even though she does her best to ignore me I know she still has feelings for me because the moments that I catch her alone in the kitchen getting something to drink, or waiting around for Kurt to come back to her she still ducks her head and blushes as she smiles when I flirt with her. I'm feeling a little more confident that me and Rach will be back together by Regionals, but a week later she still won't really talk to me and Kurt defects to the other side of the choir room.
He shrugs about it later and asks me when I got so paranoid, but I think he knows what I'm talking about because he adds in that it just makes sense for him to sit with the talent. Quinn, Rachel, and the rest of the Glee club girls come over that night and spend the night giggling in Kurt's room as they come up with costume ideas for regionals. I go for a jog because they're annoying me and when I get back me and Rachel have the first real conversation we've had in months.
We talk for a while and I'm surprised that no one misses her and calls her back upstairs, but it feels like nothing has changed and when she finally excuses herself to rejoin the fashion brigade she flashes me one of her Rachel Berry smiles and I feel better than I've felt in months. I'm starting to wonder why I thought I needed time away from her and I'm still planning on winning her back by regionals.
Rachel and I hang out a few times and I'm a little disappointed that I have to practically beg and tell her it's to help me get ready for regionals and she's all business. My deadline is fast approaching and Rachel has taken to holding Puck's arm when they walk down the halls together and she hasn't been slushied for the entire second half of the school year.
Everyone's yelling at Rachel, well by everyone I mean my side of the choir room, which now includes Tina since she and Mike broke up a while ago, when the universe shifts. Quinn Fabray stands up with her hand on her hip and before anyone, including Mr. Schue, knows what's happening Quinn is screaming at everyone and is inches away from punching Mercedes in the face. Puck tries to pull her back to her chair, but the only thing that stops her is Rachel's hand resting gently on her shoulder.
Quinn does her best Rachel impression and storms out of the room and Rachel follows a moment later, shooting us all a glare as she goes after the blonde cheerleader. Now again, I know that sometimes I don't catch on as fast as others, but this time my look of confusion is not alone as everyone stares after them. We all knew that there was some sort of truce going on between them that we mostly suspected had something to do with Puck, but he looked as stunned as the rest of us that she had went out of her way to stand up for Rachel.
The next day Mercedes, Tina, and Santana are slushied and Quinn and her new lackey, who is not as evil as Santana and who looks at Puck with stars in her eyes (which truth be told sort of makes me want to throw up), take to eating lunch with Rachel and Puck who have been eating together since after Christmas. Their table is eventually invaded by Mike and Sam and a few other jocks and finally Brittany and a few of the other cheerleaders. Sometimes I want to join them, but I don't necessarily feel welcome at the table and as I sit I notice that just as it is in Glee the jocks have effectively chosen sides between me and Rachel.
Of course I don't notice when Quinn and Sam break up because I'm worrying again about getting Rachel back. I sorta thought she wouldn't really be able to resist all the charm I've been pouring on lately. I even apologized for pushing her away after Christmas, but she just got this really serious look on her face and told me I should remember that we were just friends.
Kurt tells me that they've been broken up for months, but they're still really close. I think Kurt is nuts because they still sit next to each other in Glee and walk down the halls holding hands, but I find out it's true when Sam asks a sophomore from his art class to Junior prom. I take Santana, because I sort of want to make Rachel a little jealous and am not really smart enough to know that rubbing Santana in her face is not really the best way to win her back. Puck takes the starry eyed cheerleader and Quinn and Rachel end up going alone in the same group as Puck and Sam. Kurt and that kid from Dalton ride with me and my group out of some misguided brotherly loyalty, but find Quinn and Rachel as soon as we arrive at the hotel.
The prom is pretty eventful and dramatic. Kurt and Sam and they're dates get thrown out early. Kurt gets shoved by one of my jock friends and Sam comes to his rescue. Of course Puck and his date have already made their way to a room and Quinn and Rachel leave out of what I am assuming is loyalty as I see Quinn standing behind her looking nervous as Rachel argues with one of the chaperones. I can actually hear the word ACLU and I catch Santana rolling her eyes as she watches me watch Rachel and Quinn leave.
To get my attention back Santana dangles a key in front of my face and even though I think I sorta love Rachel, I'm a guy and not the smartest guy at that so I let her take my hand and lead me up to the room. It's mostly just like last time only this time I know that I'm doing the wrong thing and I have a little performance trouble at first, but San's a pro and when we're done she's a little impressed at my staying power (Rachel taught me a few tricks) and I feel so guilty I think I might be sick.
The next morning I run into Rachel as she and Quinn are checking out of the hotel and for a moment she looks like she might cry until Quinn walks up behind her and grabs her hand to lead her away. All of this comes to a head a week later when we are putting the finishing touches on our set list for Regionals and it ends up with Quinn and Puck walking out with Rachel when Mr. Schuester singles Rach out and yells at her for the thousandth time that year.
They come back the next day and Schue gives Puck's solo to me and Quinn's solo to Mercedes. Kurt refuses Rachel's solo and he knows there's no one else who can pull it off and the three of them sit back and scowl and I think how awesome it will be for me to sing with Rachel again. Byt the time the competition rolls around we're all barely talking to one another and we lose because there's barely any emotion in anyone's voice. Rachel, Quinn and Puck don't show up to the last Glee meeting and I wonder when they became the three musketeers.
I hang with Rachel a few times over the summer and we seem to be getting along. I still love her and I can see in her eyes that she still hasn't forgiven me for everything that happened over the school year, but the awesome thing about Rachel is that she's so willing to see the best in people no matter how many times they hurt her, so I'm still pretty confident that eventually she'll figure out that she still loves me.
She hangs out wit Kurt a lot and he says that she's just lonely because Quinn is away at Cheerleading camp and I ask him when they became best friends. He gives me this funny shrug that I can't quite figure out and walks out the door to meet Rachel and Puck since apparently he's a little lonely too cuz Quinn's friend is off at cheerleading camp too.
Senior year starts and the only thing more surprising than the fact that not a single person gets covered in corn syrup happens when Quinn Fabray opens the passenger side of her car and out sails Rachel Berry. I'm sure I look confused when they sail by me and don't even say hi, but I my jaw must be dropped when Kyle Karofsky comes up and throws his arm over Rachel's shoulder and high fives Puck when they're little group is reunited.
I watch Rachel giggle in the center of the group of jocks and cheerleaders and feel a little left out. Turns out I should. Glee gets ten new members, Karofsky being one of them, and without Rachel I'm pretty much mediocre. She doesn't sit next to Puck this year because one of our new members is Pucks girlfriend and I'm a little relieved. Rachel is still the best singer and performer we have so she still gets a pretty decent amount of solos, but when she doesn't she lets it go and everyone in the club starts to like her better.
I notice people noticing her more and I see her get asked out more times than I can count, but she always refuses politely and walks toward her new BFF, who gets as many invites as Rachel and refuses as many as Rachel only not quite as gently as the other girl. Things look up when I make quarterback that year, but we have a little trouble winning this year because as it turns out Sam tries out for running back and we have a serious communication problem, mostly cuz the dude seems to hate me, but we get our footing and we're having a pretty good season when I decide to ask Rachel to the winter formal. I give her my best crooked smile and even bring her a rose. She smiles at me and asks if she can think about it, I'm so excited that it wasn't a flat out denial that I give her a grin and nod my head. I watch her walk toward Quinn and my excitement is dimmed when I see the look Quinn is giving me. She shouldn't worry, I've waited a year to get Rachel back and I don't plan on blowing it again. Besides Rachel's as popular as I am now so we should have a perfect year.
It takes two days for Rachel to say yes and I can't contain my excitement even though she stresses that we are just going as friends. In fact I'm so excited that I barely notice that in Glee she sits with Karofsky instead of Quinn. Kurt is looking at me funny when I tell him that I think tonight is the night that me and Rach are finally going to get back together. He shrugs and tells me to have fun. I think that him and Quinn are skipping the dance and staying home to watch movies, she gives me a look of disdain as I leave and I wonder what he or I ever saw in her, she's kind of mean and scary.
Rachel looks beautiful and let's me hold her hand in the limo. One of my friends is asking her questions about her college plans and I think it's sort of weird that Rachel doesn't share her entire life plan the way she usually does. She mostly just shrugs and says that she's been accepted to a few schools in New York and two out west, but she hasn't made any definite plans yet. She looks a little distracted, but smiles when I squeeze her hand.
We have an awesome night and Rachel is a little surprised when I kiss her goodnight at the door despite the glares I got from her fathers when I picked her up, she sort of smiles and ducks into her house and even though I'm not sure that is the best reaction I still feel pretty good about it. Quinn and Kurt are still on the couch and to my surprise Quinn looks as if she's been crying.
One look at me and her scowl is back and I just roll my eyes at her and turn to my brother. I tell him that Rach let me kiss her goodnight and tell him that by the end of the week we'll be the new McKinley high power couple. I raise my eyebrows as Quinn's scowl deepens and she jumps off the couch and heads toward the door whipping her phone out in the process.
Kurt tells me way to go at pissing Quinn off and I just shrug and tell him I hope she's not mad that I still don't want to get back together with her, I tell him about when she asked me last year and he sort of giggles and stands to head to bed. I hate it when he does that and I ask him what the fuck he's laughing at. He puts his hand on my shoulder and turns serious, telling me that he doesn't think that Rachel's right for me and that I should leave well enough alone. I think he's wrong and head up to bed. I can't wait for the weekend to be over so I can see Rach on Monday.
Monday doesn't quite turn out how I planned though and finally everything that's happened over the last year comes together and makes me feel like the village idiot. Which if I'm being honest with myself isn't very hard, but as I said this has completely side swiped me. I'm standing out front waiting to see Rachel when Quinn's car pulls up and she gets out and there's something a little bit different about her smirk of arrogance today.
She walks around to the passenger side and opens the door and helps Rachel from the car, but the shocker is when instead of letting go of Rachel's hand she keeps it firmly in her own, laces her fingers around the girl's whose supposed to be with me and leads the shorter girl up toward the door. Rachel is wearing the biggest and most genuine smile I have ever seen from her and as they walk by Quinn gives me a look that clearly says 'She's mine, Bitch. Back the fuck off'.
She actually says it to me later, being with Rachel has done nothing to soften her really, she's still scary, but when Rachel gives her a pointed look she nods curtly and heads in the direction of the choir room leaving Rachel and I to talk. She apologizes for leading me on in any way explaining to me that she just really wanted to go to the dance and that she actually missed being friends with me, she uses a lot of huge words to say this, but I get it and smile at her sadly.
After that I know what has changed, but I still can't figure out exactly when and why it changed and I spend the next week moping around and asking everyone I can think to ask what the hell happened over the last year. It seems though that all of the sudden everyone has finally figured out just how amazing Rachel is because the best anyone can do is shrug at me and tell me I blew it.
The only good thing that comes out of the whole thing is that I get my heart broken for the first time in my life and sadly this seems to smarten me up a little bit. Everything over the last year makes sense, Puck and Rach being friends, the stoppage of the slushies, the looks that Quinn was always throwing me, I figure it out all on my own and only needed Kurt to confirm it for me. "They've been together since last year haven't they?" He nodded sympathetically.
I make a huge mistake after prom, which Quinn and Rachel attend together. Everyone in the school knows that Rachel and Quinn are together, but no one really speaks of it because even I know that the two of them walking around surrounded by Puck, Sam and Karofsky is not an accident and the one time a player from an opposing team makes a homophobic remark about Quinn Karofsky breaks his nose and gives the dude a concussion.
I watch them at the prom and Santana ditches me because obviously I'm not great company, the entire school year has gone by and I thought I was over Rachel, I'd even hooked up with Santana a few times, but tonight I can't take my eyes off of them. Rachel laughs as they dance and I notice not only the way that Rachel looks at Quinn, but also the way Quinn looks at Rachel. It's something that looks almost uncomfortable on Quinn Fabray's face, but she can't hide it anymore than I can hide the jealousy that is probably turning my face green.
I watch them the entire night, but don't go near them, heeding the looks that Quinn is shooting my way. I watch them having fun and laughing with all of our friends and feel left out. Even Santana has softened up toward Rachel and they are laughing about whatever Puck leans over and says to them. I watch as they have fun and think about going home, but don't really want to explain to my mom why I'm home so early. I watch them holding hands and giggling as Puck holds a key out to them and a moment later they practically run toward their room. I catch Rachel's eye on the way out and wonder if I'm the only one who catches the look she gives me as she lets Quinn lead her towards the hotel lobby.
I spend the rest of the weekend thinking over the look that Rach gave me and on Monday I tell her I love her. In front of the entire school and a very pissed off Quinn I tell her that I've loved her for the last year and that I think she should give me one last chance. I don't give her or anyone a chance to speak before I kiss her and tell her to give it some thought, I run off before Quinn, Puck or Karofsky can punch me in the face and later in Glee I sing to her.
It's the first time I ever truly mean it when I sing to her and I pour every feeling I have into it hoping that she'll understand how sorry I am, how much I wish I could have her back. By the end of my song I'm almost crying and everyone is frozen looking at me like I'm a girl, except Rachel and Quinn. Quinn is looking at me like she wants to murder me and Rachel just looks uncomfortable. A beat passes before Quinn is out of her chair heading straight for me and the next thing I know Rachel is yelling her name and trying to pull her off of me.
Quinn can actually hit hard and all I can do since she's a girl is cover my face and hope she doesn't do too much damage. A while later when we're sitting in Figgin's office I finally get the balls to ask her what changed between her and Rachel. Quinn glares at me, tells me it's not my business and warns me in the future to keep my hands and lips away from her girlfriend. Quinn spends the rest of our high school existence not speaking just glaring at me, but Rachel and I become friends again and I'm mostly grateful to just be around her again, besides I know Quinn'll mess up somehow and I'll be there when she does.
We actually win Regionals that year and Quinn and Rachel sing a duet at Nationals that pretty much clinches us the win. Rachel sits next to me on the bus home for a little while and we have fun talking and stuff, but Sam has stopped distracting Quinn and she glares until Rachel kisses my cheek and heads back over to her girlfriend kisses her and curls into her side as Quinn drapes her arm around the shorter girl and kisses the top of her head contentedly.
We graduate and of course Rachel is going to NYU. Puck and Santana and a few others including me will be going to OSU. Kurt is going to some fashion institute in New York and the only thing that surprises any of us is the fact that at the last minute Quinn announces that instead of heading to Princeton she'll be joining Rachel at NYU to major in Art and Photography. Wonder how Mom and Dad Fabray feel about that.
Me and Rachel keep in touch and she visits me whenever she makes it back to Lima, which isn't often anymore since her hard work off Broadway has finally paid off and she's starring in some new show that just opened a few months ago. Quinn still glares at me like she wants to kill me and I still love Rachel which brings me back to the Berry's yard staring at Rachel and Quinn still wondering when high school hierarchy went to hell.
I really am trying not to sulk, But Rachel could have warned me that this was coming we just talked a few days ago. I feel like I've been punched in the gut and it doesn't get any better when it's Quinn walking toward me instead of Rachel. She's wearing the same scowl as usual when she looks at me, but it softens a little when she sits down next to me. She starts talking to me for the first time since that day in Figgin's office and finally answers the question no one else ever could, I finally know what happened, who and what changed and the exact moment that caused it all.
It doesn't make it any easier to watch the obvious way that Quinn and Rachel love each other, but at least I know she'll be taken care of and at least she's the kind of person who's willing to offer friendship to the person who's hurt her the most in the world. I used to think that was Quinn, but now I know it was me and now I know why Quinn spends so much time looking at me like she's plotting my death.
Quinn's not mean now as she talks to me, her voice is steady and even and I sort of like the way it softens around the parts about Rachel. When she's done we stay silent for a few minutes before she tells me that she hates my guts and could care less if I'm happy for them or not, but it would mean a lot to Rachel if I went over and gave my blessing.
So I get up and walk over to Rachel hug her and smile and whisper in her ear that I love her and I'm glad she's happy. She smiles gratefully as Quinn wraps her arms around her from behind and Puck slaps me on the back as I falter a little watching Rachel tip her head back to share a kiss with Quinn. Puck gives me an excuse to look away because even though I feel like I'm intruding on them, I'm still a guy and I'm still in love with Rachel.
I used to think I would marry Quinn, I really wanted to marry Rachel. Turns out I threw my shot away and it hurts a hell of a lot, but even I can watch them and admit that they're sorta perfect for each other...