Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, there would be more than two women and Gwaine would have lines. Seriously.
Title: Happiness
Summary: Gwen's thoughts at Lancelot's funeral. Or rather, my interpretation of Gwen's thoughts at Lancelot's funeral. Don't kill me…please?
Happiness
She gazed into the flames, red and gold as the crest of Camelot.
They didn't even have his body.
He would have done anything for her, and now, too late, she realized she had underestimated the depth of his devotion. And she had chosen Arthur.
Once upon a time, she would have been pleased to know he loved her, but she had known it for years now while he suffered in silence, and standing at his funeral now, the silence finally broken, the thought brought her only emptiness.
Had she forgotten how she knew him first? Had she forgotten how, before Arthur even noticed her, he was holding her hand and calling her "my lady"?
She asked him to take care of Arthur. He promised and he would never fail her. He had always loved her. From the moment they first met he loved her. She had seen it in his eyes. He would do anything for her.
Damn his stupid honor, she thought in silent despair. She was the root of his pain, and he would never interfere. He just turned away when she kissed Arthur. He left the first time saying only that she had changed him forever. He never said anything else. He couldn't.
And then there was Arthur, defending him, saying he was honorable, treating him as an equal, making him a Knight of Camelot. Arthur was a person he could not help but admire and respect. Lancelot was a man of honor, and he thought Arthur was the better man.
All he wanted was her happiness. Her happiness with Arthur.
Guinevere lowered her face to her hands and began to cry.