A/N: Oddly enough, I was actually originally planning to make this a multi-chaptered story, with Alfred trying out one of the spells and somehow making them switch bodies and with Matthew find out that Alfred's been hiding things from him or whatever... and then I realized I'd never finish it if that were the case so I decided to make it a short story. And here it is. Enjoy! Oh and yes, that is implied FrUk you see. It's my OTP. :D
Matthew says that you should review/comment on this. Or else Alfred's going to keep annoying him and he doesn't like that. So for Mattie's sake, review/comment :]
Alfred and Arthur's Very Scary Unicorn Guardian
There was a reason why Matthew Williams, Canada, did not like going to parties hosted by Arthur. They always ended up with everybody crazy drunk, Arthur himself yelling obscenities to every person who passed by him, Francis seducing any unfortunate nation passing by him to a secluded area in the house for sex, Prussia dancing on tables, and Canada himself sitting in the corner with an god-awful headache.
And of course, who would notice him in this mass of crazy? The only person who liked harassing him when he was already pissed off; his brother, America.
"Hey Mattie what'cha doin'?" he said, his voice obnoxiously loud. Matthew winced at the sudden loud noise near his right ear.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Matthew said in annoyance. Alfred never did seem to get that when a guy is sitting alone, his fingers pressing against his temples and looking ever so entirely pissed off… you don't go and harass them.
"Looks like you're being boring. Come on! I have an awesome idea," Alfred said, dragging Matthew to his feet.
"Al if it's the prank where you convince Hungary that Germany and Italy are doing it I'm not going to be a part of it. My head still hurts from when she hit me with her frying pan while thinking that she was hitting you – and that happened months ago," Matthew retorted, pulling his hands out of Alfred's grip and making a move to walk away from him.
"Please?" Alfred begged, wrapping his arms around Matthew's waist from behind. Matthew rolled his eyes as Alfred rested his head on Matthew's left shoulder, pouting. "For me?"
"Not a chance."
"I could always beat you up until you agree."
"Al, threats like that don't work on me. Did the war of 1812 not teach you anything about fighting against me?"
"Nope. And besides – I won."
"Alfred you know that that I won."
"Nope. But I don't want to argue about how you're in denial about me winning – let's go pranking!"
"Pranking isn't even a word – and let go of me! People are giving us looks."
"No they aren't – they're all busy watching Prussia strip."
"Prussia's stripping?"
"He's trying to – Germany's trying to get him to stop."
"Alfred let go of me."
"Only when you promise to help me with my prank."
Matthew sighed. Alfred was never going to let go until he said yes. "Fine… but if you end up getting us in trouble, you're the one that's getting all the blame."
"Sure, sure whatever – it's not like we're going to get caught anyways," Alfred said as he let go, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes. Matthew rolled his own very blue eyes.
"And what's your plan anyways?" Matthew asked him. Knowing Alfred it was probably something very juvenile like tricking some poor drunk nation into thinking they were a bird, kind of like what Alfred did to Gilbert at the last Christmas party.
"Well… I'm still thinking it through – but…" he said quickly as Matthew rolled his eyes and tried to sit back down, "I know for sure that it's gonna be targeting Arthur."
Matthew smirked. "Oh really? That's new. What are you going to do? Are you going to hide all his china like you did last month? Are you going to bring up the American Revolution and then shove me at him when he's under the impression that I'm you… kinda like what you did at New Years'?" he taunted. Alfred shook his head, eyes glinting.
"No! I just thought of it – the perfect prank," Alfred said dramatically. Matthew rolled his eyes for a third time. Sometimes he wondered how Alfred managed to be the older twin.
"Then what is it?" Matthew asked.
"Let's break into Arthur's library and find his spell books."
"Eh?" the idea had caught Matthew by surprise – Alfred never showed any interest in Arthur's vast library. The thought of him even suggesting they go there was shocking enough – but to actually look for books?
"You game?" Alfred asked.
"Don't you think Arthur's going to be a little more than pissed off when he figures out what we did?" Matthew asked apprehensively. Sure, he had grown to become just as strong of a nation as his former father figure, but there were times Matthew felt as though Arthur's fury was one of the scariest things in the world.
Alfred gave him an amused, superior, Oh-Matthew-You-Are-So-Stupid-Sometimes sorta look. "Do you really think Arthur will figure out that we were in his library?" he said, pointing. Matthew turned to see – in total surprise – Arthur fiercely making out with Francis.
"My God…" Matthew said in almost a horrifyingly amused whisper.
"Arthur's gonna be busy the next few months – trying to hide away this moment. He's not even going to realize someone's been in his library – it's perfect!" Alfred said gleefully. Matthew grinned in spite of himself; Alfred did have a point.
"Alright we'll go – but no trying out the spells if we manage to find the spell books," Matthew warned. Alfred rolled his eyes.
"Of course not!" Alfred said. "Magic's for wizards – not heroes! I'm not going to go and try any of the spells!" Matthew laughed and led the way towards the staircase leading up to the attic.
"At least, not the hard spells at least," Alfred muttered under his breath.
As the two snuck up the staircase, Matthew's stomach churned nervously. What if they were caught? He didn't want to be pegged as a trouble maker – not that anyone would notice him. Besides, if Arthur caught him Matthew's reputation as the good twin would be over.
"Alfred I don't know if we should be ---"
"Shhh! We're here!" Alfred hissed, pointing at a door that had odd engravings in the wooden door. Alfred snorted. "Look at that Mattie! Arthur has some random shit carved in door!" he said, scoffing as he pointed the markings. Matthew paled.
"It must be some protection spell – don't touch it Alfred you idiot! Do you want us to be killed?" Matthew yelled. Of course, since it was Matthew, his yelling was like Alfred whispering [not that he'd ever do that though]. Alfred rolled his eyes.
"The only way Arthur could kill us is if he tried feeding us some of his beef stroganoff."
"His beef stroganoff isn't that bad."
"If you think it's good than boy, Mattie, you're worser off than I thought!" Alfred said in horror, before turning back to the door and cautiously placing his hand on the simple-looking doorknob. Matthew held his breath, fully expecting Alfred to explode right there on the spot. But nothing happened. Alfred shot Matthew a triumphant look before throwing open the surprisingly unlocked library and sauntered in. Matthew uttered a quick prayer before stepping into the very room Arthur had forbidden him and his brother from entering when they were just children.
It wasn't a very grand library – from a quick glance it just looked like study room. There was a simple desk in front of a regular-sized mirror with a bookshelf on either side of it. Matthew approached the shelves apprehensively, glancing at the titles along the worn book spines with interest.
"Pretty boring huh? Just some stupid history books about England – how vain of him," Alfred said to Matthew as he stared at his reflection in the window. Matthew rolled his eyes. For some reason Alfred made Matthew roll his eyes a lot.
"Well I guess that's it then – no spell books. Arthur must have them hidden somewhere else in the house. What a pity. Let's go now," Matthew said, attempting to drag Alfred towards the door. Alfred shook him off. Alfred had gotten extremely strong from when they were children.
"If Arthur hid his stupid books somewhere else why would he have banned us from coming here? Mattie the books are here – I know it!" Alfred said, glancing around the room, trying to find some indication as to where the books might be.
Matthew sighed, leaning against the wall. This was going to take a long time. Noticing a light switch nearby he flicked it up, deciding that more light would most likely help Alfred find the books faster and get them out of the library sooner.
Immediately after Matthew flicked the switch the library began to spin around. "A-Alfred?" Matthew cried out in horror.
"Matt what's going on?" he heard his brother say in the blur. Matthew flattened himself against the wall to keep his balance. Books began to fly all over the place, as though a strong wind had blown in the room – but neither twin had opened the window. As Matthew began to feel queasy he shut his eyes tightly, praying that the spinning would stop soon.
Matthew could feel pieces of paper and books flying past his face, almost hitting him but just missing. He could hear the desk and bookshelves moving and horrified, hoping they would squish him to death. He could also hear Alfred swearing on the top of his lungs somewhere on the other side of the room.
And finally it stopped. The sudden stop in motion caused Matthew to fly forward onto the ground. Groaning he got to his feet, opening his eyes.
"Holy fuck," Alfred breathed out, looking around. Matthew looked around as well, amazed.
The simple, boring, inconspicuous, little library had been transformed. It had an oddly Atlantis-like theme, with large white pillars, rows and rows of gold-tinted bookshelves and even an extravagant fountain of a group of merry fairies and other imaginary creatures dancing around a magnificent unicorn. The fountain was so intricately detailed; Matthew could swear that the creatures were actually moving.
Alfred was the one who voiced Matthew's thoughts exactly – "How the hell did Arthur cover this up?"
"Magic I guess," Matthew replied, shrugging. He walked up towards the bookshelves and peered at the titles. "Merlin's Magnificent Magic… Book for Dummies!" he read out dramatically. "I guess Merlin taught Arthur all that he knows," he added, chuckling.
WHAM. Matthew was suddenly on the ground having been slammed to the ground by Alfred. "Let me see!" he exclaimed as he grabbed the book. "This is amazing," Alfred said, flipping through the pages. Matthew stood up in annoyance.
"Was it necessary to pummel me into the ground?" Matthew asked.
"You're so overdramatic – all I did was just lightly push you out of the way."
"You're so under-dramatic… Alfred? What are you doing?" Matthew asked as Alfred hurried away.
"Look here!" Alfred said, pointing towards the fountain. "See the unicorn's horn? I think that's actually Artie's wand!"
"No it's not Al… and don't call him Artie, you know how much he hates --- Al! Get off the fountain!" Matthew exclaimed as Alfred scrambled onto the fountain, standing precariously on the head of a fairy. Oddly, in Matthew's eyes the fairy's smile looked painfully forced as Alfred stood on tiptoe to reach the wand.
"I'm not getting off until I get Arthur's wand!" Alfred exclaimed, leaning over to pluck the wand off the unicorn's head, although it was sadly out of his reach.
"You promised you wouldn't try magic!" Matthew fretted. If Alfred ended up falling and cracking his head open… oh God Matthew would have to figure out a way to cover that up...
"I lied," Alfred said wickedly, still grabbing for the wand, to no avail. "Stupid unicorn," he muttered under his breath, cursing the unicorn for being so far from his reach.
The unicorn suddenly turned to glare at him. "I beg your pardon?" it said.
Alfred screamed in shock, falling backwards. Thankfully, he fell onto his back, hurt but with no cracks in his head.
"The unicorn is alive!" he said rather stupidly to Matthew, pointing. Matthew himself was standing there, frozen with fear. Obviously the unicorn was some sort of guardian for Arthur's library and now that he and Alfred had intruded, they were going to get it.
"P-p-please d-don't hurt us…" Matthew said, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "W-we didn't mean anything…"
"Yea! We just wanted to look through Arthur's spell books and stuff – nothing bad!" Alfred added, smiling weakly. The unicorn glared at him and Alfred cowered in fear.
"I think standing on my head is bad," a little voice piped. Matthew and Alfred stared at the fairy Alfred had been standing on a few seconds ago with horror. It had turned and glared at Alfred with annoyance. "I'm going to have a headache for years now!"
"I-I-I s-sorry," Alfred stuttered. As horrified as Matthew was, he found himself rather amused. This was the first time he had seen Alfred so frightened. And of a unicorn and a fairy no less! Matthew couldn't help but hold back a laugh that was threatening to come out.
"Do you promise you leave the library and never return?" the unicorn said in a rumbling voice. Alfred squeaked and Matthew smirked.
"Y-yes sir!" Alfred said, even going as far as saluting the unicorn. Matthew really wished he had his blackberry on him – he could've taken a video of this and show everyone. Then again, Arthur would find out then that they were in his library and besides, he was invisible to everyone else so there really wasn't any point.
The unicorn didn't seem to notice Matthew as Alfred shakily stood up and ran towards the door, grabbing Matthew as he passed by. The moment they left the room the door closed shut behind them and they could hear the distinct sounds of the library going back to the simple room it had been before.
Matthew glanced at Alfred who was flushed and panting. "You were scared of a unicorn," he teased. Alfred blushed.
"Shut up Matt – you'd be scared too if a random statue comes to life and starts threatening to kill you."
"Now who's being the overdramatic one?"
"Whatever Matt. Let's just go back to the party," Alfred said grumpily, walking away. Matthew chuckled, following.
And to think, he had thought Alfred's pranks were stupid.