Labyrinth!..the musical?
Chapter 1: David Bowie steals the pie.
It was the perfect pie. The crust was as flaky as pie crust can be and the cherry filling was warmly oozing around the edges. Made from organic materials and cooked to the exact right temperature that America's test kitchen says a pie should be cooked to. It had been placed on the windowsill to cool, but that did not stop the house's only resident from hovering over it like a starved fly.
"Piiie...Perfect perfect piiie" Anna said in a tormented voice. Why must it always sit for half an hour after coming out of the oven? Why must it continuously be there in all it's glorious deliciousness?!? So close and yet so far??? (Like Lee Pace). She approached the pie once again, determined to sneak just the tiniest, littlest bit...just a crumb off the crust, but drew back to burst into over dramatic song befitting the situation.
"Oh cruel thing why do you tempt me?
Why do you try to lure me to your smeeeeellll?
Why do you sit so innocent,
When you only cause lament?
I reach for you but you don't return the callll...ohhhhhh
SOMEONE LEFT THE PIE OUT IN THE RAIN-"
In the interests of everyone's eardrums and plot progression there was a big thump as a bird hit the window. With a sigh Anna left the kitchen to go see if there were any remains that she could make into a stew. "Kitty!" She hollered "I caught your dinner!" But even as the cat came up expectantly she peeked outside to see that there was nothing there. "Huh" She said. She turned and walked back up the stairs and stopped. David Bowie was sitting in the now open window with a fork and a mouthful of pie.
"Oh my god!" Anna fanned herself with her hands "It's 1986 David Bowie from the hit movie Labyrinth!"
"Hello Anna" Said David Bowie "I've come for the pie-"
"Is it true you once tried to exorcise a demon from your swimming pool?!" Anna demanded.
"Uh-"
"And is your hair really red or did you just dye it that way for attention and-"
"Anna" David Bowie said, getting irritated "I'm not David Bowie, I'm Jareth the demon king."
"Oh." She winked "Right. You're one of those method actors right? When you're in a role you don't like to be out of character. Alright 'Jareth' umm...Why are you eating the pie?"
"Because" Answered Jareth Bowie "You said the words 'I wish the demon king would come and take this pie away'"
Anna looked at him "No I didn't." She said.
He took another big bite "Didn't you?" He said through a mouthful of pie. "Well I've got it now, and if you ever want it back you're going to have to find your way through my labyrinth." He gestured out the window which was now revealed to be a big labyrinthine maze, like the one in the 1986 hit movie Labyrinth.
"Trippy." Said Anna. Jareth Bowie disappeared in a swirl of tight spandex and anna was left to decide whether or not she actually wanted to go to all the trouble of getting a pie back. Then she remembered that it was not JUST a pie. It was the perfect pie. Made from cherries picked in the rarest cherry forest at the peak of ripeness and a crust that the Pillsbury dough boy could have rolled out himself. She needed to get it back.
"Better hurry" The voice of Jareth Bowie said from all around her "Every hour I'm going to eat another slice, in twelve hours it'll be gooooone."
Anna paled "Those slices are too small to do it justice!" she wailed "You won't get them to hold their form on a plaaate!!!"