Before he even cracked open his eyelids, Kurt felt different. He opened his eyes and smiled at the sight before him; Blaine was sound asleep still, starfished across Kurt's torso and hanging on for dear life. So this is what their first morning of married life was going to be like: much the same physically, but with a much deeper meaning behind it. He was definitely a big fan.

Kurt turned his head to the side and glanced around for the alarm clock that was provided by the hotel. Upon noting that the time was quite late - it was already 10:12am - Kurt set to work peeling his husband off him. Once he was able to extract enough of his own body out from under Blaine, he rolled out of bed and frantically started gathering their belongings together, as checkout time was less than an hour away.

Not that they had much to pack. They had planned on driving back to Lima together after the reception, so all they had had with them in Indiana was their white suits and their black suits. And because they had done a quick change in the barn at the last minute, their black suits were the only thing that had actually made it to their hotel room.

Kurt was in a bit of a panic. He looked like he had been rode hard and put away wet, and while that was almost exactly what had happened the previous night, it wasn't something he wanted to advertise. He picked up his clothing from the floor and cringed. He didn't have much choice; they would have to go for "Walk of Shame" chic and wear their wedding attire home. Kurt started to pull on the pants (commando since he had absolutely NO intention of reusing the same underwear again, regardless of circumstances), but he stopped midway - he felt a not-insubstantial wet spot and was thoroughly skeeved.

"GROSS," Kurt whined, yanking the garment off again. "I can't wear this! What are we going to do?"

Blaine, finally beginning to wake up, sat up in the bed and rubbed his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Kurt huffed and held up his pants. "These are what's wrong. I can't leave here in these."

"Why not?"

"Apparently someone thought it was a fabulous idea to make me cum through my underwear and down my leg before removing the only clothing we had with us."

"Mmmm," Blaine hummed, remembering. "That really was a fantastic idea, if I do say so myself."

"Focus, pervert! These pants are completely unwearable. Now what?'

"Relax, honey. Last night was our wedding night, therefore nothing else matters at this moment in time. Suck it up and put them on, and then when we get home, I'll help you clean up. Maybe even help you get dirty and clean again a couple more times for good measure - "

Kurt had stopped listening by that point. His brain was still a few sentences back on the word "home." It triggered something in his mind, something that said...

"Oh my god!"

Startled, Blaine leapt out of bed and went to Kurt. "What? Kurt, what's wrong?," he asked, clasping Kurt's forearm.

"We're homeless, Blaine!"

"What?" Blaine asked again, growing rather confused. "We're not homeless. You live with your dad and Carole, and I live with my mom... well, kind of half with my mom and half with Dave since I haven't finished moving out yet, and - " he rambled.

Kurt cut him off. "Blaine, I may have a home, and YOU may have a home, but WE," he said, violently gesturing back and forth between them, "don't have a home. I repeat, WE are HOMELESS."

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again with a pop. Kurt was right.

Shit.

Blaine plopped himself back down on the edge of the bed and wrung his hands together in his lap.

"Crap. Well, we were always planning on going back to New York, right? Maybe we should just go now."

Kurt shook his head. "I can't. I have the New Directions to think about."

"But Rachel - "

" - needs a co-director to balance out her crazy and save those kids from her wrath. Plus, I'm still technically a NYADA student, remember? The New Directions are kind of my school project. I'm going to have to stay here through the end of the school year."

"Oh right, I forgot about that. Well, we could ask my mom. She loves you, I don't think she'd mind, and she's been kind of lonely lately..."

"Um, sweetie? Judging by what we saw at the wedding, I'm not entirely certain how lonely she plans on being."

"You mean Puck? But he's with Quinn..."

"We thought he was with Quinn. But no one, including Puck, has heard from her lately. Which leaves Puck to, shall we say - "

"Let's NOT say," Blaine interrupted, turning a bit green at the thought of Puck and his mom. Just, ugh, NO. "SO! Mom's out. Well, technically, my name's still on the lease of the apartment, and Dave hasn't decided if he's going to stay there or not. We could ask him and see."

"No. No way in hell, Blaine." It was Kurt's turn to object. "We will not start off our married life together with memories of another relationship. That's just asking for trouble. And Brittany, god bless her, but I don't know how the hell you managed to stay in that place with all her wild decorations. Didn't you get a migraine, like, constantly?"

"Truthfully? Yes. But you can't say no to Brittany." Kurt nodded in understanding; it was almost literally impossible to say no to Brittany. "I did tone it down some, but you can only do so much without her noticing."

"We can't really find another apartment, either. They're all going to want us to sign at least a six month lease, and I need to get back to New York as soon as the New Directions have gotten past Nationals. That's only a couple months at best."

They sat in silence for a few moments together, contemplating their options.

Kurt jumped back up and began pulling on the offending pants, trying not to think about how nasty he'd feel by the time they got back to Lima. "Well, there's only one more option. We'll head back to your mom's house and grab your stuff. Dad and Carole will love having their nest just a little bit fuller for a little while longer."

Blaine smiled. Moving into the Hummel home actually sounded pretty good to him.

Not surprisingly, Burt and Carole welcomed their new son-in-law into their home with open arms. They were still processing the fact that there actually WAS a son-in-law to live with them, but they were somewhat prepared since they knew it would happen eventually - just perhaps not quite this soon.

Burt and Carole greeted the boys at the door with big bear hugs, re-welcoming Blaine back into the family. In their eyes, he had never left, but Blaine needed that extra reassurance, so the four of them spent the evening bonding, catching up, and just being together.

At 11pm, they split into pairs and retired to their bedrooms with hugs and goodnight wishes for all. Kurt waited for his dad's bedroom door to click shut before he grabbed his husband by his untied bowtie and dragged him exaggeratedly into the room. He closed the door carefully to keep it from slamming, but it didn't keep him from gently slamming Blaine into the door and forcefully kissing him.

"Mmmph, mmm, Kurt... babe... your parents... mmph... they're right down the hall," Blaine panted, attempting to cool Kurt down a bit.

Kurt pulled away and looked directly into Blaine's eyes. "Blaine, we're going to be living here for a couple of months. There is absolutely no way I'm going to go that long without sex. We are just going to have to learn how to do this quietly."

Blaine nodded. "Okay." He grabbed Kurt by the lapels of his jacket and spun him around, gently tossing him onto the bed. Normally Kurt would protest the manhandling of the delicate fabric, but that night, he didn't care. It got forgotten quickly in their all night "learning" session.

A fierce pounding on Kurt's bedroom door scared the bejesus out of Kurt and Blaine the next morning. The source of the noise waited a mere five seconds before throwing the door open. Kurt reflexively drew the top sheet over both himself and Blaine, even though they were already pretty well covered.

"Get up," Burt demanded gruffly.

"Dad, what - "

"Get up and get dressed, boys," Burt said a little more softly. "We leave in fifteen minutes." He shut the door behind him loudly as he left.

The two stared at the door as if it would give them the answers as to why the man who had just barged into their room had seemly turned into a pod person. Such behavior toward either of them was totally unlike Burt and it had honestly scared them a bit.

"What the..." Kurt wondered.

"I don't know," Blaine replied, "but we better get moving and be ready when he is 'cause I'm kinda freaked out right now."

Kurt hugged his husband. "It'll be okay. But you're right, we shouldn't provoke the beast any further." He reached down and grabbed the jeans Blaine was wearing the day before. "Here you go, sweetie. Let's make this quick."

Thirteen minutes and forty-five seconds later, they were standing in the kitchen with travel cups of coffee in their hands waiting for Burt to come for them.

"Let's go, boys." Once they got outside, Burt pointed to his pickup truck. "Pile in."

The cab of the truck was silent until they had hit the main drag.

"Um, Dad? Are you mad at us?" Kurt asked cautiously.

Burt sighed. "No, I'm not mad."

"Good," Blaine said with obvious relief. "Because you were kind of terrifying this morning."

"I'm sorry. But you'll have to forgive me. I'm a little grumpy this morning."

"Why?"

But Burt kept his mouth shut 'til they arrived at their destination.

"Where are we?" Kurt asked his father.

"My good buddy Frank owns this building. I called him this morning and he's agreed to rent to you boys until you're ready to go to New York. He'll take you on a month by month basis."

"You ARE mad at us, I knew it!" Blaine exclaimed, his eyes starting to tear up. Blaine absolutely could not handle it when anyone was angry with him. "I'm sorry! Whatever it is we did, I'm sorry, and I'll make it up to you!"

Kurt merely looked heartbroken. He couldn't fathom his father kicking him out, and yet, it seemed like that's what was happening at that moment.

"BOYS!" They turned to look at him in unison. "I'm NOT MAD. But I am tired. Exhausted, really."

Kurt kicked into caretaker mode. "Dad? Should we be seeing your cardiologist? He did say something about extreme fatigue - I could make you an appointment."

"I am EXHAUSTED because although I realize you boys are still in your honeymoon phase, you seemed to have forgotten that you are no longer in a hotel with soundproofed walls."

*crack* Blaine's jaw dropped so fast you could hear the joint complaining. Kurt set a new world speed record with how fast he turned beet red. "Oh my god," he muttered under his breath.

"Frank, however, just installed a mess of soundproofing in one of his apartments for someone who wanted a music room. We figured you two would be the perfect product testers," Burt said with a grin.

Kurt turned from red to a pale shade of green.

"Remember what you said about not having sex again 'til we got to New York?" Blaine whispered.

"I changed my mind."

"Me too."

A/N: Another one from me - crazy, right? LOL Don't get too used to it.