Rain

By Weaver Goddess

Wash away the thoughts inside

That keep my mind away from you

Can you see me, Rosette? Are you looking down on me from wherever you are? It's funny, everything has moved on now. Everyone is gone, the order closed down. Nothing is left here except memories- sad memories echoing from the past. Sad memories, and me.

No more love and no more pride

And thoughts are all I have to do

They eventually gave up on trying to make me leave, you know. Azmaria, and your brother. Did you know they eventually ended up together? They looked happy the last time I saw them. They told me it was time to move on- and that they were to be married. I refused. Both to leave, and to acknowledge their happiness. It wasn't fair. Why did he, who had caused so much grievance and chaos in his life, get to end up happily, while you, the purest and kindest person I have ever known…

Remember when it rained

I felt the ground and looked up high and called

Your name

Gods, Rosette. Why did you have to go? I miss you, I NEED you. But you can't answer me, can you? You can never answer, and it's all because of me. I KNEW what you were getting into. I KNEW the consequences. I prepared myself for the day your time would run out. But then, why did it still hurt? Why did it feel like my heart had been ripped out?

Remember when it rained

In the darkness I remain

I should never have let you make the contract. I should never had let you been dragged into this whole mess. I can berate myself all I want about this, but the fact remains. I did, and now you have paid the consequences.

Tears of hope run down my skin

Tears for you that will not dry

Oh Rosette, I hope you can see me now, hear me. Everyday, the moments play over and over again in my mind. Those last moments you had on earth. I never got to say good-bye. I never…never got to tell you that I loved you. I loved you more than I can ever express. You were my light in life, the glue that kept me bound here. I though I knew pain when Magdalene died because of me, but it was nothing, nothing compared to this agony.

They magnify the one within

And let the outside slowly die

I don't know how long it has been since that horrible day. Years? Months? Days? I no longer care. Did you know that it is raining today? It was raining that day too. You didn't like the rain much, as I recall. You knew that you couldn't go out and do what you wanted. I used to like the rain. Now, I loathe it. Is the sky mourning for you like I am? Does it even remember who you were? Everything seems to have forgotten. The spring comes, the plants thrive, and peace and laughter carry on the wind. Those are the days I shut the window and turn away.

Remember when it rained

I felt the ground and looked up high and called

Your name

Does the sun remember your smiling face? Your cheerful bubbly nature? Your tiny fits of annoyance and anger that we all used to laugh about? I know that it didn't love you like I did. Even when you used to "beat me up", I tolerated it, knowing all the while that I could easily overpower you. But it was an excuse to get close to you. No matter the pain it caused for me. Maybe that's why it hurts so much now. Closeness was what led to this. If you had never known me…you would have lived. And loved. And eventually died, surrounded by those you cared for. Not like what really happened. What was it like, Rosette? Alone and afraid, while I fought against Aion and your brother. I was there though, there to hold you in my arms as you breathed your last. But not there quickly enough. You died too soon, Rosette. Too soon! It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! Why, God? Why her! Why not me! I was the tainted one, the sinner! She didn't deserve this!

Remember when it rained

In the water I remain

I hate you, God. But, I don't loathe you, as much as I loathe myself. Rosette? Do you know what happened after, Rosette? After I killed you? They took you home, and burned your body, scattering you to the winds, to visit distant lands like you always dreamed. They left me nothing to mourn. Alone, alone. I'm all alone. Everyone's gone, Rosette. Gone. You, the nuns, you brother, God, all gone. I am truly cursed.

Running down…

I'll be with you soon, Rosette. Even though I gained my horns at the end, I can't bear to use them. I destroyed them. So I'll slowly starve, Rosette. Die withered from the lack of energy, my soul joining yours in the Astral Stream. Maybe someday we'll be able to live again, this time with each other. …Although, do I even have a soul anymore? I don't know. I guess I'll find out. Good-bye Rosette. I'll see you soon. And…

I'm sorry.