"BROTHER!" These short stubby legs wouldn't let me run fast enough, and the halls seemed to grow longer and longer with each throbbing step. My breathing was ragged and I felt like I was going to fall down and just break.
"BROTHER! PLEASE STOP!" I screamed, but it wouldn't make a difference. He wouldn't hear me, he wouldn't turn around and stare at me with those empty black eyes. Tears pushed at my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away.
My legs managed to carry me out towards the front door, my thighs burning and my knees hitting the concrete floor, scrapping them up. My eyes followed after the long black car as my brother, my only brother, pulled out and away, leaving me all alone on the front step of the Whammy Orphanage Home for Talented Children. My tears burned my cheeks and my body just wouldn't move. The rain bit through the thin layers of my clothes. It was always raining, with every single memory I own, it was always raining.
I was thirteen years old when my big brother left me.
I was thirteen years old, and completely alone.
And what did I do?
I fell apart.
*~*~*~*~*
"Aim a little higher. Your shot is still sloppy Josephina." I gripped the handle of the gun just a little bit tighter, my finger resting calmly on the trigger. I stared at my target, a tick piece of paper hanging a few feet in front of me. Easy shot, I told myself, an easy kill. "Remember to aim at the head."
"Yes sir." I leveled the gun, the nose straight and even, and I squeezed the trigger hard. It fired with a shrill pop, the bullet shooting out of the nose, and my shoulder popping back from the force. I found myself smiling triumphantly when I spotted the nice little hole in the paper dummy's head.
"Perfect! Well done Miss. Josephina. I'm sure your brother would be proud." I glanced over at Whammy, his timeless face looking worn and old. He was ageing. I never thought I'd see it. Flashes of when I was a little girl sitting in his office next to my brother as we gave him our first names only filled my head. He'd smiled at me then, those wrinkles hadn't been there. But that white hair, that stock of nicely brushed white hair, still remained.
"Your going to see my brother soon, aren't you Mr. Whammy?" I asked as I opened the bullet case, checking to make sure I'd used all my rounds. One left. I can get rid of it in a second. His smile never fell, I don't think the man ever really stopped being happy and content.
"That's right Miss. Josephina. He has called me with important news about his job. He's a very talented detective now." I nodded, closing the case a little too hard and staring up at him.
"I've heard. Why did he want you to come?" I turned back towards the dummy. I still had room towards the heart that I could try and take out.
"Well, being a detective is a hard job, especially since he can't really show his face, but he just wanted to talk about your arrangements coming up in the following year." I glared as I evened the gun again, my finger pulling and my shoulder snapping. "Very nice."
"Thanks, but what is this about my arrangements?" I asked and he smiled almost proudly.
"Well Miss. Josephina, you are turning sixteen soon." I nodded, walking over and placing the gun down on the table top. There was two other guns, some of my favorites, but I didn't really feel like practicing anymore.
"Sixteen is just a number, and it's really just another day, don't you think Mr. Whammy?" He didn't falter, didn't get angry, and didn't let that almost haunting smile fall from his old face.
"That day is important to me and your brother. And you should be happy, Mr. Lawliet has planned on coming down to visit you on that day." I couldn't stop myself, a smile spread out over my face and his small blue eyes sparkled a little as he smiled right back.
"Your not playing around now, are you Mr. Whammy?" I asked, my eyebrow going up in question.
"Why never Miss. Josephina!" He reached out for a hug, and I stepped into it, hugging the man that had become a father to me. "You know love, you should really smile more, it makes you more attractive."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I sneered as we broke apart, me heading towards the bathroom to wash my hands, him up the stairs to be with the rest of the kids.
"Just that you do make a beautiful young lady. But since you don't dress or act like one, it's hard to tell what you are anymore." I laughed and he let out a low chuckle. "I'll leave the lights on for you, be careful coming up."
"No need! You can cut them off, I'll go out the back way." There was a soft drone and I found myself walking in the dark, all alone. I flicked the lights on in the bathroom and headed towards the sink. No one knew about this underground gun shop that Mr. Whammy had built for me on my fourteenth birthday. I could remember the day when I walked up to him, a big smile on my face. I knew exactly what I wanted to be, and when I told him, he nearly passed out. His old face was whitened and he sat down in his office chair, needing to process the words that just came out of my mouth. Wanting to be a well trained assassin at the age of fourteen can be a little hard to swallow.
But he built it for me, and spent countless hours and endless nights sitting up with me just to make sure I learned how to hold, clean, and fire a gun. I learned in no time, and I'd gotten pretty good, but there's always room for better. I rinsed my hands and patted them dry on my baggy jean legs. I looked up in the mirror, almost shocked at how right Mr. Whammy was. I did look like a boy, with my baggy pants, my baggy flannel red shirt, and all my long black curls tucked up into a beanie hat. The only thing that could give me away really was the fact that I was wearing a little makeup, and my bright electric blue eyes. The weirdest set of eyes I'd ever seen on anyone, and they had to be mine.
I tore my eyes away and headed out of the bathroom, flicking the lights off as I went. I was going to go visit Near. He'd said something to me last night about being lonely, so I wanted to stop by and maybe do a puzzle or two with him. I pushed open the back door, light spilling in suddenly and I had to squint until my eyes got used to the sun. Since it was a nice bright day out, all the kids were on the playground, all blocking me from where I needed to go.
The second my foot hit the sidewalk, two bullies spotted me out. I'd been pushed around by them a lot, and they actually thought I was a guy, a very short, skinny guy who hadn't matured yet. I smelled them before I saw them, and when I did, they had me by the neck of my shirt, staring down at me with an evil grin.
"Well if it isn't Joe! Did the little cry baby finally decide to show his face off?" Carlen laughed as he pushed his freckled face closer to mine. "And look! The little sissy has been practicing his makeup too!"
"Do you feel pretty with that makeup on sweetheart?" Hayden sneered in with his buddy, a smile wide on his face. I wanted to say that I did, but I knew that would earn a punch to the face. I didn't feel like cleaning up another knick on the lip from one of their fists. I just wanted to get to my friend, and be left alone.
"Please don't do this now." I tried to beg, using my deep voice so they wouldn't notice I was really a girl. I always pulled that phony voice out, not really talking too much around everyone, but only when I had too. It fooled them enough, but I don't know how much long I can keep it up. I'm not a boy, it's becoming very clear. I'm getting curves, sharp curves, and a chest that keeps getting bigger.
"What do you mean don't do this now?! Are you telling me what to do? Or do you have a gay date to get on too." They laughed and crowd queer over and over again before shoving me hard to the ground. I slid back, my butt burning.
"Who the hell do you think you are punk?! You don't tell me what to do! I'll do what I want!" Carlen screamed, his face turning bright red. I cringed as his knee bent back, his foot popping forward hard into my side. I grunted as I rolled over on my chest.
"I'll teach you a lesson you little queer!" Hayden added in, standing on the other side, his foot connecting with my shoulder. I groaned and that just fueled their hate, the feet coming back again and again.
"What's going on over here?" A voice piped in, causing the guys to move away and stare at the person who'd spoken. I sat up, scooting back and away from them, not really able to see the kid over their wide shoulders. They were two of the biggest kids in the orphanage, not some of Whammy's favorites either. They often took their size to their advantage.
"What do you want? Are you this freaks boyfriend or something?!" I stood up, turning to lift my shirt and see the huge foot sized welts growing around my waist and ribs. I was going to really feel that tomorrow, this had to be the worst beat down they'd given me.
"No, honestly I don't know this kid. But I know you shouldn't be kicking him around like that. How'd you feel if that was you?" Carlen smiled wickedly, his freckles burning bright.
"How about you tell me instead." He got ready to reach out to this blonde haired boy, when the guy reached out a pale hand and snapped Carlen's wrist back. There was a crunch, and Carlen's freckled hand was standing right up from his wrist, broken. Blood slipped out from a cut on his wrist, and he let out a shrill sharp scream.
"How about you? Do you wanna find out too?" He asked Hayden, but Hayden shook his brunette head wildly, grabbing his buddies arm, and dragging him away, screaming and cussing this blonde boy out. I stared at him, his narrowed chocolate brown eyes sliding over to meet mine. Was he Japanese? He talked Japanese.
"Are you alright kid?" He asked, and I jumped a little.
"Yeah, just sore." I barked out and he raised a wondering eyebrow up at me. I'd never seen this kid before. He was taller than me, thin like me. He was dressed in all black, black pants and a black long sleeved shirt. In one hand he held a unwrapped chocolate bar, a few bites already taken out of it.
"Where were you headed too? I'll walk you." I flushed up, my cheeks burning bright, and I knew he was really going to think I was gay for it.
"Oh no. That's cool. I can walk." I took a staggering step forward, and collapsed when my knees buckled under me. I screamed when my side connected with the ground. Okay, maybe I was hurt a little worse than I thought.
"Okay, let's get you to Whammy." He started to reach out to help me up but I threw out my hand to stop him.
"No! I can get up, I'm fine." I started to get up, but then my hat started to slip, and before I had a chance to reach up and stop it, long black curls slowly fell down in front of my face like a curtain. Oh no.
"Well there's a surprise." I heard him mumble as I slowly sat up, pushing my hair back from my face, reaching out and grabbing my hat. "I knew you couldn't be a guy."
"What?" I asked, truly shocked! What did that mean? I could be a great guy!
"Your voice, your eyes, your cheekbones, and the way you stand. Plus you lifted your shirt, and there is no way in hell any boy would have curves like that. And your wearing makeup. That's a big one." My mouth fell open and he chuckled, his chocolate eyes looking almost like honey in the light.
"Oh." I mumbled and that only made him laugh more. He stood up, holding out his hand for me to take, and I did, smiling and thanking him softly under my breath.
"The least you can let me do is walk you to wherever the hell your going. And tell me your name." I flushed up again, but I didn't let him see as I pushed by him, walking towards the large grey building. The sky suddenly became dark, grey sad clouds rolling in, and I frowned, annoyed, as the rain started to fall.
"My names Josephina. What about yours?" He smirked a little, I guess my name was a little fancier than he thought. It wasn't my fault, my brother named me.
"Mello." He mumbled and I smiled.
At age fifteen I met my first real friend.
At age fifteen everything started.
And it was all in the rain.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"But I don't wanna play with Mello!" Near whined as I sat in front of him on the floor in my room. He'd stopped by today to visit me, and I'd already made plans to take Mello down to the gun room.
"Please, do this for me Near. You know, my birthday is tomorrow." I looked up at him through my eyelashes, the same little trick he'd pulled on me all the time to get what he wanted.
"But he always picks on me." I reached out, rubbing those silver locks softly. He reminded me so much of my brother, he was always looking sad, and his hair was just bed head crazy. He blushed a little, his pale cheeks turning a soft pink.
"I wont let him. I promise." He sighed and stood up, almost reaching my waist now. I was wearing well fit jeans and a tight black long sleeved top. I'd become more comfortable with my body, now that I was really curvy and a full woman. I was turning seventeen tomorrow, and I was anticipating my yearly visit from my brother. Nothing could bring my spirits down.
"What are we gonna do Josie?" I reached down and took Near's tiny hand in mine, leading him towards the hidden stairwell that descended down to the sound proof room. When we walked in the door, a familiar loud pop echoed in the room, ringing bright in my ear. I let go of Near's hand and rushed down the steps to find Mello, arms out straight, holding tightly to my favorite gun, his eyes covered with the protective goggles that I never wear, and his ears blocking out all the loud shrill ringing sounds. I smiled when he didn't notice me, and listened to the pop of the gun, my whole body tingling. I wanted to shoot with him, but I was so surprised that he knew how. And so well!
"Guns? I don't like guns Josie." Near complained as he sat down next to me, his arm reached up to hold my hand.
"I know, but this is what I wanted to show you guys. This is where I spend all my time." Mello turned, I guess feeling my eyes burning into his back. He smiled a little, and then saw Near sitting next to me and made a face. I glared at him warning him, and he rolled his eyes, taking off the protective goggles and ear guards.
"So this was what you wanted to show us? I like it." I smiled and squeezed Near's hand. "But if I knew he was going to be here, I would of continued studying."
"Mello!" I shouted and Near dropped my hand, looking down at the ground as he pulled one knee up to hug.
"What?! You know how I feel about him Joe!" He shouted and threw the empty gun and gear on the ground. "I'm going. If you want me you know where to find me."
"Mello! Stop! Don't go!" The sound of the door slamming made me stop begging and I stood still, staring down at Near.
"I told you." He whispered and I kneeled down in front of him.
"Hey, don't get upset about it. Mello is an ass. He'll come around." Near gave a soft smile before pushing off the ground and leaving too. A day before my birthday, and Mello found a way to ruin it. I sighed as I stood up, walking up the long stairwell and walking down the hall, towards the study room that my brother spent countless hours sitting in, reading and learning.
"Hey." I whispered as I knocked on the door, causing Mello to tear his melted chocolate brown eyes away from the window. He quickly looked away and crossed his arms, defiant and ready for a fight.
"If you're here to yell at me, just save your breath, I'm not listening." I walked over next to him, leaning against the desk he was standing behind and watching the rain smack hard against the window. I felt his eyes drift over to me, taking me in.
"I'm not gonna yell. I just wish you two would get a long better. He really looks up to you Mel." He growled at my nickname for him and I smiled.
"No, and don't call me that!" I sighed and shook my head.
"Hey. Can I ask you something?" I looked over at Mello, his body language really stiff and uncomfortable. He was planning something, and I knew it involved me.
"What is it?" I couldn't help but notice how he smelled like gun powder and oil. It was so strong and intoxicating.
"I want. . . I want you to come to New York with me." My eyes widened as he turned to me, his narrowed and serious. He was two years older than me, but I was really starting to notice how much of a man he was becoming. His shoulders were wider, his face stronger and more cut. His hair was still the same silly style, and his love for chocolate was unending.
"When?" He almost smiled, but then realized I hadn't said yes and stopped himself.
"Tomorrow night." He reached around to his blue jean pocket and pulled out two plane tickets. "I really want you to come Joe."
"O-okay." I mumbled and a big smile broke out on his face. He reached out and hugged me tight and I softly squeezed back.
Age seventeen, and I just made the choice that would change my life forever.
Age seventeen and I'd started my life with Mello.
All while it was raining.
It was always raining.