The Catcher in the Rye
Chapter 18 Alternative
So I just left old Sally back at Radio City, I told her I was sorry. I apologized like a madman, but she didn't care. I felt bad that I told her she gave me a pain in the ass, I felt real bad. I was depressed as hell again; I didn't even know where I was walking. I just had to get away. I'm sorry I even went to Radio City with her. When I was walking I took out my hunting hat from my pocket. I put it on and turned it round' the way I liked it. It started raining out an' all. I didn't care how I looked; I was too damn depressed to care how I looked. I was on 63rd street, and was just walking, walking in the rain. I know it sounds weird, but I kinda' liked walking in the rain, it made me feel not so depressed anymore. I felt like the rain was washing everything away, everything was good in the rain. I saw a bunch of people running to get to shelter, covering their hair like their lives depended on it, what a bunch of phonies. It annoyed me like hell.
I kept on walking and by now I was on 55th street. There was a movie theatre ahead. It was still raining out, and the streets were quiet, only a few people here and there, going down into the subway and going into the apartments that lined the street. I went in to the theatre, it wasn't busy or anything. It wasn't full of the crumby phonies I told you about, that were walking fast to get here and who really wanted to come here. When I got in, I took my hat back off and tucked it away into my pocket. There was a bar lounge upstairs, one of those crumby places that try to be posh, by giving itself a fancy name. That killed me. I had a quick look up to see what the place was about. I tried to make myself look un-interested. the name was hanging above the door, which wasn't even a door, it was just this lousy gap, with a window at the side, where a group of phony guys stood holding cocktails, talking about what movie they had just been to see and how they just 'absolutely loved it', boy, that killed me.
I wanted to go up to the lounge and try and get a cocktail; maybe I'd finally be able to get a drink since I left Pencey, but there was this helluva big guy standing at the door, and I didn't feel like getting thrown around again like I did by old Maurice. I decided to leave the idea of getting a scotch and soda, so again I had to settle for a coke. I went over to the food counter, with the popcorn an' all. I ordered a coke and while the guy was getting it for me, I counted out my cash that was left in my wallet.
I only had twenty-five bucks left, so I took out a ten, so I could get my coke and a ticket, to whatever phony movie that was on. I got a ticket from the guy at the counter. He had this shirt tag on the said "Hi, my name is:" That killed me; they're never as polite to you when you're talking to them. So anyway I got this ticket to see something called 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'. What a corny name. It was about this car, it had wings, wings! For chrissake! When the car started flyin' an' all that's when it killed me. The look of amazement on they're faces an' all. I know Phoeb woulda' liked it; she likes that kinda' stuff.
After a while I didn't really feel like watching it anymore. I still had a little bit of coke left, so I quickly drank it down and left. God I couldn't leave there fast enough. It depressed me like hell. When I came out of the room I was heading for the door. I looked up again at that bar to see who was still around. The same guy's were still there; but they were going in now. One of them, he had this pimpy looking hat, he was taking it off and tucking it under his arm like it was a goddamn news paper. I got outside; it'd stopped raining by now, but the streets smelled of damp. I can't describe it to you, you had to be there.
I felt like giving old Sally a buzz again; I wanted to see if she'd left the skating rink yet, but I didn't want to chance having her mom answering or anything; especially if she went home still sorta' crying. I walked along the road kicking the leaves that fell onto the sidewalk. I remembered that boy that was singing; 'If a body catch a body, coming through the rye'. I started singing it to myself, but quiet so that nobody would hear me. The streets were still quiet, but I didn't care; I didn't want anybody hearing me. I still had sally on my mind; I couldn't get over telling her she gave me a pain in the ass. That depressed me. It really did. I'm mad; I swear to god I'm crazy.
I passed this small café, so I went in and sat down at this little single table. There was this rose in a small vase, sitting in the centre of the table. It looked half dead; the petals were all crinkly and falling off.
"What can I getcha' hun?" this waitress said when she was still walking to me.
"I'll have a malted milk". I was still pretty thirsty
"We don't have any of that left, somethin' else?"
"Oh, ok. I'll have a glass of orange juice".
Then she swung round' and walked away. Man was she lousy; she was chewing this gum she had like she was a goddamn cow. After she went off, I took out my wallet and counted out the dough that I had left. Eighteen dollars and some change. I took out one-fifty so that I could get my orange juice and maybe something to eat, I can't remember if I did or not. I only had a few cigarettes left too, but I took one out and started smoking it anyway. After about five goddamn minutes, she came back with my glass of orange, and she was still chewing that damn gum.
"There ya go doll. That'll be thirty cents". Thirty cents for a goddamn orange juice! I didn't grudge it or make a scene or anything though; I just gave her the money so she would go away again. She was annoying hell outta' me with that gum.
After I'd had my glass of orange, I left the café. After I'd got out of the door I took my hunting hat back out of my packet and put it on. It wasn't raining or anything, but I just felt like it. I felt like giving old Jane a buzz, so I went looking for a phone booth. It wasn't long before I found one, this is New York.