You know you're obsessed by Cardassians when neck Ridges are better than anything else you've ever tasted.
You know you're obsessed by Cardassians when you adopt a Corgi - specifically the Cardi variety - and you name him Garak.
You're clinically addicted to Cardassians when a waiter asks for your order, and you ask if they have Obsidian.
Your career counselor will tell you that you're obsessed by Cardassians when she asks you what kind of occupation you want, and you say Bajoran.
Statistically speaking, there's a 93 percent chance that you are obsessed by Cardassians when you go in for plastic surgery, and your AFTER photo looks like Iliana Ghemor.
...but there's a 100 percent chance that you are obsessed if the AFTER photo looks like Gul Darheel.
You have GOT to know that you're obsessed by Cardassians when your friends try to balance spoons on their noses, but you try to balance one on your forehead.
Your bartender knows you are obsessed by everything Cardassian when you order Kanar.
...the rest of the bar knows you are obsessed when he tells you "We're all out," so you order a glass of water and put blue food coloring in it.
...you're probably a bit off, too, when can name the vintage of your water-based Kanar depending on how dark it turns out.
You're hoping for a one way trip to Cardassia Prime when you get into a bidding war on eBay for one genuine Cardassian neck ridge prop. Just the one.
...and you spend more money on that neck ridge than you do on your monthly mortgage payment...
...and then try to make the money back by charging your friends 10 a head to see you do the Cardassian neck trick.
You've been Cardassian Watching way too long when you never believed that Gul Dukat wearing a beard was an adequate disguise...
...and you're probably obsessed when you watch the episode "The Wounded," and scream at the screen "I know who YOU are, Gul Macet!"
You know your love life is going downhill because of your Cardassian Obsession when you install a sauna in your house, you end all your dates there, but then insist on staying fully robed.
You know you're obsessed by Cardassians when you see the seagulls at the beach, and you start naming them Dukat, Darheel, Madred...
The lady down at the Department of Motor Vehicles will know that you're obsessed by Cardassians when you get your motorcycle license just so you can say you ride a Ducati.
Your friends all know you're obsessed by Cardassians when all of your makeup is pale blue.
While listening in on your private phone conversations, Homeland Security will know you're obsessed by Cardassians when you do a PERFECT imitation of Boheeka saying "QUARK! YOU PARASITE! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG"
You know that you're probably taking your love of all things Cardassian way too far when you save up all your birthday and holiday gift money - just so one day you can buy yourself a promotion.
And finally, you can bet a whole lot of money that you are completely and utterly obsessed by Cardassians when you know this is a fact: No matter what lies Picard tells you, he is wrong. THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS!