Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
My Funny Valentine
By Angel Kamiya

Miroku sat down on the blanket and sighed. It had been a really long day and he was looking forward to eating some food. They had exterminated a very dangerous demon an hour ago and luckily they all had gotten out of it unscratched. Miroku was especially happy that they had also managed to get the Shikon Jewel shard that the demon had carried with out much trouble. The shard was now being held by Kagome and being kept pure.

Kagome had told them that today was a special day. It was Valentine's Day in her time which meant that you spent it with the person that you cared about. That explained why Kagome had spent her time mostly with Inuyasha that day. Miroku had asked Sango about whether she would be his valentine or not, but she had refused. It seemed she wasn't ready for something like that yet.

They had been a waiting a while, but for some reason Kagome still hadn't returned yet. Miroku moved over and put his hand on Kagome's bag.

"What do you think you are doing?" Sango asked, crossing her arms. "That belongs to Kagome. I can't believe you are going to go through it like this."

"It's okay Sango. We are her friends. Besides I'm starving and I can't wait another minute."

Miroku carefully opened the bag and looked inside. The first thing he pulled out was a cup of noodles, some cookies and then some potato chips. Miroku carefully laid them onto the ground, remembering to separate the food so all of them could eat more quickly later. When he was almost done, he saw that there was one more thing in the bag. It was a small box. Miroku looked at it curiously. Taking it out, he examined the box trying to figure out what it was. Was this a new kind of food that Kagome had brought with her that day?

Sango walked over to where Miroku was at, leaning over to get a closer look at the box.

"What do you think it is?" Sango asked, curious.

"Probably some kind of desert or something. There are many strange kinds of food from Kagome's time."

Miroku put it down and closed the bag again. When Kagome came back he would just have to ask Kagome. Miroku enjoyed sampling new kinds of foods whenever possible. After a few minutes Kagome finally got back. The teenage girl looked like she was as hungry as they were.

"Ah! You guys got everything out already! Thanks!" Kagome smiled.

Miroku picked up the small box and held it over his head.

"Kagome do you know what this is? I saw it but I don't think you ever brought it to our time before."

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Kagome repeated, his face turning cherry red.

"What's the matter?" Sango asked.

"They... They are condoms," Kagome explained.

"What are condoms?" Miroku asked. "Do they taste good?"

"You... you use them when you have sex. The men I mean. They make it so the woman doesn't have a baby or anything," Kagome muttered.

"So you eat them?" Miroku said.

"You... you... put them on," Kagome said, barely managing to finish.

"Oh my! What an incredible invention!" Miroku said, shaking the box. "Does that mean in your time couples do it whenever they want? Have you used them before?"

"No! Of... of course not! This is so embarrassing!" Kagome said, shaking her head.

"Miroku! Maybe we shouldn't talk to Kagome about this?" Sango suggested, wishing the monk would shut up.

When it came to women or sex Miroku turned into a complete pervert. It was like Miroku never saw a women before.

"I'm only asking a question Sango. Besides it's not everyday that I learn something so remarkable about the future! Are there anything for women?"

"For women? They eat something called birth control pills."

"There are such things for men and women in your time? The people from your land really have thought of everything," Miroku murmured, amazed.

Kagome was ready to die from all the questions. Why was this happening to her? Shaking her head, she decided that she wasn't going to answer anymore.

"Sango would you like to try the condom with me?" Miroku asked, smiling. "It's Valentine's Day."

Miroku reached forward, placing his hand on Sango's backside. As he moved his hand up and down, he smiled feeling her soft form underneath the kimono she was wearing. Whenever Miroku wanted to feel content he always rubbed Sango's bottom.

Sango's face turned very red very quickly. Without having to think, she slapped Miroku very hard sending him flying backwards. Miroku hit the ground with a loud crashing sound, looking like he wasn't going to be able to move for a while. Sango picked up the box of condoms and handed it to Kagome.

"Maybe you should put that back? We don't want the monk to get any more perverted than he already is," Sango suggested, glaring back at him.

Kagome took it carefully.

"I can't believe this! My mom putting condoms in my bag without telling me! Did she really not trust me with Inuyasha or something?" Kagome said, her face very warm.

"Trust you with what?" Inuyasha asked, running into the scene.

"Well Kagome told us that-" Miroku started.

"SIT BOY! SIT BOY! SIT BOY!" Kagome screamed.

Inuyasha slammed several times onto the ground before Miroku could tell them what Kagome was holding in her hand. When Kagome was finally done, she tossed the box back into the bag. Kagome couldn't believe that such a small thing had caused so much trouble. When she got home that night she was going to tell her mother never to pack anything like that again.

After a few moments, Shippo got back and saw both Miroku and Inuyasha lying there on the ground.

"Looks like Inuyasha and Miroku did something stupid again," Shippo said, shaking his head.

...

A/N: I hope you liked this story and please review.