Stupid.
This was all stupid.
The dark bit at me as I stumbled out of the gate, nearly tripping over something wrapped around my foot. Stupid trip. I glanced down, notching a hand around my ankle. Scratching hands. They always scratched me up and tried so hard to keep me in the dark gate with the purple eyes. Eyes. Those purple eyes. They screamed something evil. Evil purple stupid eyes.
I reached over, ripping the scratching hands free, and the gate slammed closed. I was alone, cold and alone. Stupid alone. I hated being alone. I glanced around, noticing I was somewhere, just couldn't see where. Stupid, this was all my fault. I just had to be stupid and open the gate. I just had to know what was behind the gate. Stupid purple eyes. Those eyes, they told me not to go, that all I'd find was death, but what did they know? They never left the gate. Stupid eyes.
My eyes trailed around the place I'd stumbled into. Gates, there was another gate standing tall in front of me. No! Stupid gate! It followed me! I ran up to it, throwing myself against it and shaking the bars hard, but a sharp shock bolted through my hands and stomach, and I screamed, letting go. Stupid shocking gate! I hated stupid gates.
"I heard something." A mans voice trailed around the corner of the gate and I looked over, seeing eyes. Stupid eyes. But these weren't purple, these where blue and brown eyes. Two men smiled as they turned the corner, a bright light flashing up into my eyes. Stupid bright lights! Stupid smiling men! Did they not know that hurt! Stupid smiling eyes.
"What do we have here?" The man asked, eyeing me closely. Stupid man eyes, stop staring!
"Looks like a pretty young girl." The other mocked, the smile on his stupid ugly face stretching up wider.
"That's no girl. That's a monster, look at the mark on her neck." I reached up, covering whatever mark they were talking about. There was no mark, stupid smiling men. There was nothing there.
"This should be interesting." The other growled low, his stupid blue eyes looking amused and happy. This was not happy! I was not happy! Stupid happy smiling eyes. Before I had time to move away from the gate, it was being opened and they were coming towards me in their stupid white coats! No! I don't wanna get hurt! Stupid smiling white eyes! NO!
*~*~*~*~*
Pressing my head into the damp cool ground, I sighed, loving how the chill seeped through my burning skin. It was fuzzy, those stupid white coats made everything fuzzy. I couldn't move much, just rolling around on the ground, but I didn't want to roll. Rolling hurt. I tried to make a noise, but the stupid white coats made that hard to do. Everything burned, like I was on fire. Stupid fire. It needed to go out, stop burning me. I didn't do anything wrong.
I closed my eyes, they burned too, but when they were closed, they didn't burn so much. Stupid white coats, I'll kill them. I'll make them pay for this pain. Just wait, they'll see. I shivered, even though I was burning up. Why did I shiver? Stupid cold ground, it was too cold. I tired to move my face away, but I couldn't, so I just stayed put. The stupid white coats with their big happy smiles walked over, peering into my cage. It wasn't another gate, just a big stupid cage. I'd walked from hell into another. I should of listened to those stupid purple eyes. They knew better. Stupid eyes.
"Oh no. She's running a fever. She's burning up." The gate opened again, and I wanted to push up and run. But before I even had time to blink, the stupid white coats had fallen over me, sticking me with sharp things that hurt and nipped at my skin. I tried to swat them away, but I could barely move my head to look up at the stupid smiling blue eyes.
"There, that should help her sleep better." The one guff voice mumbled but I closed my eyes, not seeing their stupid satisfied smiles. They will pay. I promise. Stupid coats. I hate them!
*~*~*~*~*
Breathe.
I had to remind myself to breathe.
I'd been so stupid as to forget, but when I stopped, I could go hours without breathing. I always pretended too when the stupid white coats came around. Which was less and less. They said I wasn't responsive. Whatever that meant. They even gave me clothes to wear. Black clothes. The top was too tight, and showed off my stomach, which was a ghostly white color, and the skirt was too short, and fluttery. Stupid short skirt. Stupid perverted white coats.
I sat in the dark, up in a corner. I liked to press my cheek against the wall, it was so cold, but the wall was rough. I'd done some serious damage to it recently, that had the stupid white coats worried I was unstable. I'd gone after the wall, clawing and scratching and screaming and hitting it. By the time they got there and gave me a shot of something that made everything fuzzy, I'd destroyed half a wall. My fingers were bleeding from carving deep gashes into the wall, and my hands and arms were bruised from hitting at the wall.
They were amazed, that's all they said. Stupid white coats, they know nothing. If they hadn't given me the stupid fuzzy shot, I would of hurt them like that, I would of clawed at them. But that stupid fuzzy shot, they pricked me with it! Stupid white coats.
Stupid.
*~*~*~*~*
Going insane, sitting here and going insane. The dark was holding me, closing tight fingers around me, squeeze squeeze squeeze. That's all it did all day, all night. Squeeze. Stupid squeeze. I couldn't breathe, couldn't scream, couldn't speak. Not that I'd tried to talk. I wasn't really sure how it'd sound. Probably sloppy and stupid, like my brain. It was a stupid brain, stupid stupid stupid.
That's all they said, how stupid I was, how slow I was. I wasn't slow! I was fast, really fast! I could run and move like they could! I was still fast! But the stupid brain wasn't fast. It was slow, stupid slow brain. I held my head in my hands, feeling my long black hair. Stupid hair. It was darker than the wall, black black hair. Night black hair.
I clawed my fingers through it, pulled at the knots. It hung limp around my shoulders. Spider legs. It was spider leg hair. Stupid hair. Ugly hair. Ugly girl with ugly scared hands. Stupid brain made me do stupid things. Stupid does stupid.
"Hum. . .it seems our patient is reverting into herself. . .do you think it's a physiological problem?" One white coat asked stepping up to the bars. Stupid white coats, better watch out.
"I don't think it has anything to do with the brain. She hasn't yet spoke, much less tried to eat or drink. She's losing weight at a rapid rate, but her body seems to be growing stronger. She's something, a monster yes, but what kind, it's hard to say." Stupid white coats. I can hear you, I understand! I'm not stupid. Just this broken battered brain! Something was wrong with it! You cut me open to see, tell me what's wrong with my stupid broken brain! Stupid stupid stupid brain.
"Maybe she's ill." The guy suggested, writing something down. Stop writing stupid white coats.
"No, she can't be ill. We proved that when we let a fever she had go. She just shivered and burned up for a while, and slowly her body started to fix whatever was wrong with her. She was fine in a few minutes and since that medicine hasn't affected her." Stupid white coats trying to kill me! Why did they want to kill me? What did I do?
"My theory is she's hiding from us." The one scribbled down, nodding, his blue eyes flickering. Stupid eyes, I still remembered them. Stupid evil shimmering eyes. I hate stupid eyes. I hate these white coats. I hate this place, I hate my ugly self. I hate my stupid brain.
"I. . .hate. . . . . . . . . . You." My voice strained through the darkness and the eerie croak of it even scared me. I held my throat as stupid blue eyes dropped his pen to the ground. It hit with a soft pat noise and he then sank to his knees, his stupid blue eyes wide. Stupid eyes. "I. . . . . .hate. . .you." I tried again, my voice sounding flat and dead. It was so slow and I had to tell myself to speak! Speak speak speak, stupid brain!
"What did you say? Can you repeat that?" The guy asked as he shuffled up to the bars of my stupid cage. I stood up slowly, lumbering clumsily over to kneel in front of him. He smiled as I reached out, touching his stupid looking cheeks in my scarred hands. They were in the light now, stupid light, and they showed pink scratches that never healed. Stupid scars, stupid broken hands. It was all because of my stupid broken brain. Broken hands and brain.
"I. . . . . .hate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . You." My voice hitched on hate, sounding creepy and demonic. Stupid broken brain. Speak speak speak. I smiled slowly, or at least I thought I did. My stupid brain made my lips twitch violently, and I thought it was a smile. I didn't know and I didn't care. Stupid broken brain, speak and smile. Smile speak. "I. . . . . . . . will kill. . . . . . . You." I dug my nails into his cheeks, making him scream loud and shrill. Stupid white coat. I yanked my hands forward, leaving long bleeding trails on his face. Stupid white coats. Instantly the gate was opened and I was hit on the head, hard. Stupid brain broken more. Hit stupid brain hard. I grabbed my head in pain, holding all my broken brains in just incase he made them break more. And then I was fuzzy. Stupid fuzzy shot. I hated that stupid fuzzy shot. I sank to the ground. Rolling and holding my brains inside, keeping all the stupid in. It was all I had. I need stupid or I'd be nothing.
Stupid idiot.
Look what you did now.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Rip tear rip.
That's all I heard.
Tear rip tear. Something was happening. I sat up, on the heels of my feet, and listened. Stupid noises. Shuffling feet, stomp stomp stomp. Noisy. They were so noisy. Stupid idiot needed to pick their feet up. Stomp stomp, fall. Loud banging noises filled the room and I sat there, staring and waiting in the cold squeezing dark. Stupid dark. I gripped the bars as the person who fell down the stairs moaned. It wasn't a stupid white coat, cause they knew to turn the lights on.
"Boom." My screeching voice echoed in the empty room and I heard the person gasp. I tired for a laugh, but it sounded like an animal croaking out a shrill scream, so I stopped. The person did something, whispering about how she was going crazy, and clapped her hands. Her face was lit in a bright glow from something shiny, and I squinted. Stupid shiny hands! I threw up my hands to cover my face and shoved myself back into a dark corner.
"Are you a person?" The girl asked and when I looked over at her through stupid scared hands, I saw red. Red bouncy curls swimming around her head. Stupid swimming red.
"Not. . . . . . . .human. . . . . . ." I grunted out, trying to make it sound normal, like how those stupid white coats talked. But they talked so fast and smart, it was hard form my stupid broken brain to form the words they said. "Stupid." I blurted and covered my mouth quickly.
"What? I didn't hear that last part." She peered in and I noticed she was pretty. Stupid pretty swimming red. Stupid pretty. I touched my cheeks with my stupid broken hands, and felt smooth skin. Was I pretty like her? Stupid pretty red.
"Get. . . . . . . .out. . . . ." I warned her, my voice sounding husky and deeper than I wanted. It was still flat and dead, but it was getting there. At least I was talking now. Stupid broken brain wasn't so stupid. I can speak! Not stupid now!
"Get out? What do you mean? Oh! Are you what's haunting this place?" My eyebrows raised. Haunt? What's haunt? Stupid red didn't know anything. This was where I lived. This stupid smelly cage.
"Leave. . . . . . . . .now. . . . . . . Or die." I tired to make her understand. Stupid brain would work. Speak speak speak. She fell, she's here with that bright light. Get out, leave stupid pretty red! Leave, before stupid white coats come back. Find stupid red and put her away too.
"I don't understand what your talking about." But before she had time to do or say anything else, there was a hug explosion. Stupid loud noises! Why can't everything be quite! Stupid pretty swimming red, stupid white coats with stupid fuzzy needles and stupid loud noises. The stupid pretty red screamed, her red hair flying around her head in a mess of swimming curls. Speak speak speak! Go run, speak, tell red to leave. Speak, say words, move your mouth, SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK!
"GO!" I shrieked, sounding like a bird that was just stepped on. I turned towards the wall I'd shredded, leaving me with broken stupid hands, to find it in rubble and smoky. Someone was moving around in the smoke. Stupid person making all this noise. Red screamed and started to scamper up the stairs as a stupid voice called down. Red was Lacey. Name, she had a name. Stupid, I didn't have a name. Stupid pretty red. How could she have a name and not me?
"Hey there girl. I've heard a lot about you. Supposedly your supposed to be a new member. But I'm going to take you all to myself, Rage." My eyes widened and my stupid brain started to work a little. I played with that word, that name. Rage. I rolled it in my mouth, liking how it felt on my tongue, loving how it tasted. Say it. Speak, say it and speak. Your name, say it stupid, say your name.
"Rage. . . ." My voice was flat and dead, just like all the other times I'd tried to speak.
"That's right. I'm Greed, and your coming with me." He walked over towards me, grabbing me in his big hands. He didn't have stupid scars and broken parts on his like mine did. I glanced up at his circle glasses, stupid glasses. I didn't like them, and I wanted to knock them off.
". . . . . .Greed. . ." He nodded, a smile slipping up his face. It was long, and covered most of it. Shark smile. What a stupid shark boy. His hair was even spiked to look like a stupid shark.
"That's right." He laughed and then threw me over his shoulder. Stupid shark boy! I was wearing a frilly stupid skirt! I kicked at his stomach, making animal like cries and screaming. I tried clawing at his back, raking my nails up his shirt, but it didn't work. Instead a ear splintering screech rippled through the room, echoing back in my ears, and my fingers were a bloody mess. Stupid did stupid again. I grabbed my face in my bloody hands, making more animal like screams and tried trashing away when he hit me. Hard.
Stupid shark boy and his stone hands. I slumped against his shoulder, gripping and growling, trying to fight free. My eyes rolled over to see a stupid terrified red staring up at me near the stairs. Stupid red, run. What took her so long to run? Was she stupid slow too? Was her brain not working too.
Stupid red.
Get out of here. . .
Get lost. . . .