Kate Sanders looked over her High School yearbook, she had recently been bullied by Claire and her friends and it was getting worse, mentally, physically and emotionally. She had just begun her Senior year along with her so-called 'friends'. She looked over the faces of her classmates, she was always so mean to them. She wondered why she did so... It must of been pressure from her cheer-mates and overwhelmed from her parent's divorce. Even when she was in Junior High, she was neglected by her mom while her dad worked constantly. Kate took drugs when she started high school, peer-pressure. At first it was the High-School parties with Alcohol and just Marijuana, until Claire started hanging out with the "Cool" popular girls who did moderate and heavy drugs. Claire always threatened her to take the drugs with her or else she would spread nasty rumors of getting herpes from a college guy, she couldn't have that around the school, would of lost her popularity near the end of Freshman year. She took Mushrooms with Claire in her basement with Genevieve Ulrich, head cheerleader and known for bad reputation. Kate was uneasy about taking mushrooms, scared for having bad trips, though Junior year she did cocaine along with popping pills and during the summer, started taking meth. Though Sophomore year, she dated the football player, Vincent Hampton who physically abused her to the point she was afraid of leaving the relationship. But now she doesn't care anymore, her eyes swelled with tears but she tried to hold them back. She saw her Junior High ex-boyfriend, Ethan Craft. She smiled a bit and took a deep sigh, remembering how him and her actually saw eye-to-eye in Rome. During the summer of 2006, him and his step-mom were killed in a fatal car crash, July 27th on their way home from Seattle, Washington. They said it was a summer storm, heavy rain and his step-mom lost control on the slick road.
Kate, Gordo, Lizzie were at the private memorial since they were close to Ethan, they helped spread his ashes over the California green valley of fresh green grass and blue sky with some clouds. It was a beautiful goodbye to a precious beautiful friend, something she will never forget, somebody who saw her true side and who would be there for her, even if she was putting on a mask to hide her true emotions.
David Gordon, or who we would call "Gordo". I wasn't always mean to him in Junior High, he was always reasonable when he talked, she secretly has pictures of Lizzie, Miranda, Gordo and her before she gain popularity. She always wished she could of set aside the popularity difference and befriend him again, but that could never really happen since he couldn't trust her, along with Miranda. She turned the next two pages and saw Lizzie's picture, she sniffed a bit. She got off her bed and reached under her bed, grabbing an un-opened bottle of Vodka she stole from her mother, who is now a drunk ever since the harsh divorce. She twisted off the cap and chugged the harsh drink, she wiped her eyes before the tears would drop onto her face. She looked at Lizzie's face again, Claire and her got Lizzie expelled from school. They smoked weed in the school bathroom, the school complained about the girl's bathroom smelling strongly of weed. They panicked, Kate didn't see which locker she stuffed it in. The school security checked the lockers while the students were in class so they couldn't hide anything. Lizzie was pulled out of class and was in the principal's office for 2 hours, when she came out. Her eyes were all red and swollen, while her mother the look of disappointment and anger mixed. Seeing Mrs. McGuire's face made her wonder if that is what her mom's face would be like if she was in Lizzie's place. That was only the start of being the cause of everybody's misery in High School, something that just spiriled out of control.
She looked over on the other page and saw Claire's fake smile. The picture was crossed out with a red pen making devil horns on Claire's head. She avoided Claire from the start of Senior year, it was now Winter break, Christmas Eve. She looked over at the clock, 11:36pm.
Tears plattered onto the pictures, her eyes slowly gazed onto Larry Tudgeman's picture. Despite his poor hygiene, she could of been nicer to him. Larry had commited suicide during the spring of 2006, rumors went around that he found his dad's revolver, loaded one bullet in, pulled the trigger after writing the words "Worthless" "Dirty" "Coward" all over his skin, he was only in his boxers. The last thing she told him when her and Claire ganged up on him was to. "Why don't you do us all a favor and just end your life, we would all do better without you, ." She was wrong, she broke down crying in the bathroom stall after the principal announced on the morning news of Lawrence Tudgeman the third's death on April 23rd of 2006 at night. She felt so horrible, she knew she was responsible for his death. Thinking of how his family felt, and what he was thinking before he pulled the trigger.
Drank some more vodka, feeling a warm buzz. She went over to her vanity, putting on her red-lipstick, black liquid eyeliner and mascara, the tears kept coming, black tears falling.
She played Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody's ballad part on repeat.
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all...
Kate Sanders opened a fresh bottle of her mom's anti-depressant Celexa. She took 17 pills, she sat at her bed, her stomach started to slowly ache, becoming hard to breathe after 10 minutes. She couldn't stand living this life anymore, she caused too much pain for everybody, even was a cause of suicide. How could she live with herself, her life was already shitty as it is. She grabbed a notebook, writing down.
"Mom, I'm sorry for leaving you behind. I can't take back anything that has happened over the years. You can live a better life now without me around, I seem to cause pain everywhere I go. Please, don't cry. I will be watching over."
Kate sobbed, she felt light-headed and scared now that she knew death was coming. She pulled her covers back, climbing in bed. She then felt calm, her vision was going as she heard the "Mama- Ooooo" part, soothing her, she closed her eyes, imagining her grandma, grandpa, Ethan and Larry welcoming her in open arms as took her last breath at 12:00 am.
"Kate, where did my medication go now?!" Her mom screamed, stomping into her room swinging the door open. She stopped to see Kate in bed, she was now furious. "Kathyrn Marie Sanders, wake up!" She looked over and found her pill bottle, she picked it up and noticed it half empty. Looking down seeing a note, she reads it. Her eyes widened as she gasps in fear. "Katie... Katie... Wake up! Don't do this to mommy." She shook Kate's lifeless shoulders, feeling how cold she is. Margaret Sanders lost it, she screamed and cried. Neighbors heard and busted down the door when they couldn't enter, they found Kate's dead body and Margaret cradling Kate in her arms, remembering the calm look on Kate's face as she was a beauty even in death.
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all..
END.
Author's Note: I know this is a sad story. I have experienced overdosing on anti-depressant before and used my experience of how I felt. It is about how you feel when you lose somebody, how guilty you feel to be a cause of somebody's misery and how you become so depressed that you wonder about things. I deal with Anxiety Depression and I always go through thoughts of how things would be different if I did something opposite. Eh, you get what I mean. :)
I will be working on my other fan-fiction stories, been busy with college since the next exam is next week. Ugh.