Author's note: all usual disclaimers apply.

Blue door, blue door, green door, black door, blue door.

Detective Inspector Lynley walked slowly past the endless neat white townhouses of Belgravia. He studied the door colours under the uniform porticos as a way of distracting himself. He smiled as he passed the Hamilton's red door. The family had always been non-conformists.

The cool air was refreshing and he pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his slate-grey overcoat. Had he really believed a walk after midnight in the middle of autumn would help his insomnia? He turned the corner and continued to walk along Victoria Street. Grosvenor Gardens were illuminated only by the soft yellow puddles of light from the imitation Victorian gas lamps mounted high on poles above the wrought iron picket fence. Although he denied it, Tommy knew his feet were taking him to Scotland Yard. He always found it ironic that he could walk there in twenty minutes but because he needed his car for cases it took him forty minutes most days as he battled the traffic. It was almost as quick if he collected Havers from Camden.

Barbara! He had hoped his walk might help him forget her for a while. For weeks, he had been trying to decide what to do. He had not meant to, but he had fallen deeply in love with his feisty little sergeant. Unlike any other woman, Helen and Deborah included, she made him feel alive and valued. She understood him like no one ever had and yet, to his amazement, she still liked him. That in itself was a miracle. She had seen him make mistakes in judgement - at work, in love, with Peter, in fact with everyone - and yet she was always there with an encouraging smile and practical help.

He had been tossing and turning in his bed thinking about how desperately he wanted her beside him. When he started to fantasise about how he would make love to her, he had decided on a walk to clear his head. He could not keep pretending that they were just friends when every time he looked at her he wanted to embrace her and kiss her like no man had ever kissed her before. He had caught her frowning at him a few times. Does she know? Can she see it in my eyes?

Now that he knew how he felt, it seemed as if he had always been in love with her. He had certainly loved her, almost since their first case, but being in love, wanting to share his life with her, was fraught with issues. No matter what she felt for him, he doubted she would ever get past his money and title. Her reverse snobbery had eased almost to nothing but he feared it would re-appear rapidly if he suggested they marry.

"Good heavens man! You haven't even asked her out or kissed her and you're planning marriage!"

A pair of sleeping pigeons were startled by his outburst and squawked into the sky ahead of him. He glanced across at the shadowy silhouette of the man whose head was buried beneath the ground. The sculptor may as well as used him as the model given he had buried his head in the sand so long. He had to tell Barbara how he felt. "How?" he asked the angry pigeon at his feet.

He continued his walk. He thought about turning and going home but instead he pressed his pass to the security pad. With a click the glass door unlatched. He walked to the lift and entered the after hours code. Within a minute, he was walking towards his office. He paused when he saw his office light was on. He was sure he had turned if off. He walked through the door and stopped dead. "Barbara!"

"Hiya," she said sheepishly.

"What are you doing in my office?"

"Sorry...I...um...I...the light is better in here. I haven't disturbed anything."

Tommy realised his reaction had sounded as if he resented her sitting at his desk. He smiled softly. "No, I didn't mean that. You can use it anytime, you know that. I meant why are you here at this time of night?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Sir."

"I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd take a walk and my feet brought me here."

"Naughty feet!" she said as she looked down at his black brogues.

"You still haven't answered my question," he said in his best Inspector voice. Barbara's smile made his heart jump.

"Insomnia, same as you. I thought I'd come in and finish the report on the stabbing from last week."

Tommy took off his coat and hung it on the coat stand in the corner. He leant down and surreptitiously sniffed her battered old jacket. It carried the soft, uncomplicated smell of her and he sighed. This was awkward and he had no idea how he could escape without doing something foolish.

Barbara's insomnia had been getting worse in recent months. She would lie in bed and read until her eyes felt heavy. She would turn off her light, snuggle down and try to remain in the story, thinking about the characters. It usually lasted less than a minute before an image of Tommy flashed through her mind and she was instantly awake.

Tonight had been no different but instead of fighting it she decided to go to work and sit in his office. She had done it once or twice before. His chair and his office smelt of his woody aftershave and leather, much like his car. Sitting here she could cocoon herself in her memories and think of him in a way she could never allow herself when he was present. After a decade, unrequited love took its toll. The nights were the worst as her imagination ran fast and free in the dark. She almost wished he would find someone else and end her misery. While ever he was free she had hope that one day, somehow, he might notice she was more than a good copper, more than a friend.

She had not really been reading the files but when she heard footsteps she opened it quickly expecting the duty officer on his rounds to peer through the door. When her boss walked in she stopped breathing. Had he known and come to catch her? How could he know and what was she doing wrong anyway?

"Do you want me to go out to my desk?" She hoped he would let her stay.

"No; no I don't Barbara."

She sensed something in his voice that was out of place. "You okay Sir?"

He smiled affectionately at her and her heart constricted in her chest. When it began beating again she felt a gurgle of blood release. "I'm glad you're here," he said quietly. He perched on the edge of his desk, his left leg close to her and his right still on the floor.

She was not sure how to answer. "Why?"

Tommy bent towards her and slowly pushed some of her hair behind her ear. "Because I missed you."

Barbara swallowed hard and hoped he did not notice. "You only saw me at six," she saw laughing his intimation away.

"Barbara...?"

Now she raised her eyebrows. "Sir?"

"Don't you think we've moved past the Sir stage?"

"No," she replied unconvincingly.

"I think we have."

He reached out his hand. Barbara was confused but complied and shyly gripped his fingers. He pulled her up until she stood looking directly in his eyes. She felt her face blush. "What?"

"I didn't want to be above you. You're my equal. We should be eye to eye."

"You're nearly a foot taller than me so that's a bit difficult unless you want me to walk around on stilts!"

Tommy laughed softly. Her blunt humour was one of the things he loved about her. "Yes, that would be a very satisfactory solution. Thanks for the offer. However tonight I might just lean here while you stand."

There was not much room between his desk and the wall and he was lounging well into that space. Barbara had to stand close to him. "So, we're level, now what?"

"I said equal Barbara. You're my equal."

"Did you get demoted?" she quipped.

He shook his head. "No."

"Well, why am I standing here like a goose, Sir?" Her heart was thumping so loudly she wondered if Tommy could hear it.

Their faces were only inches apart and Tommy leaned towards her. She did not back away but did not lean into him as he had hoped. His hands had been resting on his leg. He moved them slowly onto her waist. She gasped and her face flushed. He pulled her towards him. Her eyes were wide but there was no trace of fear. "May I?"

"What?" she squeaked.

"Kiss you."

Tommy's mouth was barely an inch from hers. She moved closer until their lips brushed. Suddenly all her desires retreated and she moved back. "We shouldn't."

"Why not? Because you can't see me as just Tommy, a man in love with you? Is my title really going to stop you being happy?"

Barbara pulled out of his grip and backed against the wall. "No, it's not that. I can live with that...somehow. It's because..." She paused and looked down. "I won't cope when you decide to move on."

Tommy watched her until she looked up. He smiled. "I won't move on, I love you, Barbara."

"It's late, we're tired and you're lonely. Don't mistake that for love."

Tommy sat calmly on the desk but his eyes never moved from hers. "It is late but I'm tired because I lie awake thinking about you. I'm lonely whenever we're apart. This isn't a whim Barbara and I think you know that don't you?"

"Mmm."

"And despite all the thoughts that swirl around in your head contradicting everything you've always believed, you know deep down we need each other and we can't keep pretending this is all platonic."

"But..."

Tommy shook his head and extended his hand to her. "Trust me. Trust yourself. Trust us Barbara. We'll probably still bicker and drive each other slightly crazy but I promise you'll never regret one minute of it. I want to spend my life with you."

Barbara looked closely at his eyes. She had seen that look before and it always affected her on a level beyond reason or desire. Tonight she could finally label it - love. She reached out and took his hand. "This had better work...Tommy."

His smile at hearing her finally say his name was so wide it hurt his cheeks. He pulled her gently to him. "It will." He kissed her.

Tommy's lips were soft and undemanding as if he were coaxing her slowly, trying to convince her he loved her. For her, ten years of repressed need surfaced quickly. "Tommy...I'm not made of glass."

He groaned approvingly then kissed her hard. She responded with vigour, her hand burying itself in his hair and holding him to her while the other tugged his shirt from the back of his jeans. As their tongues swirled almost violently around each other he noticed that her uncomplicated scent was richer and more nuanced. He could smell desire and it sent his libido into overdrive. "I think we should go to my place before we're arrested."

"The desk," she panted, "use the desk."

At dawn, Tommy rose and closed the curtains of his bedroom. He climbed back into bed and nestled against her. He gave her a cheeky smile before he kissed her neck. "I still can't believe we did that. I doubt I can sit at my desk to work ever again."

"It might take an hour or so to get the papers straightened out but it was worth it."

"Oh, most definitely worth it." Tommy kissed her. "Tell me again. I'll never get tired of hearing you say it."

She smiled lovingly at him then pushed the lock of hair from over his eye. "I love you, Tommy, with all my heart."

A mischievous grin crept across his face. "You know, I have a desk downstairs too." Barbara kissed him. "And another two at Howenstowe. In fact, I might buy an office supply company just to test their desks. And then there's the dining table and the kitchen bench."

Barbara laughed then kissed him again. "Any hard surface will do."