A/N: I said I would not ship this ship. Here I am, shipping this ship. Inspired by an ask that was sent to me.
I apologize for all the mistakes. The idea came to me at like 2 in the morning and I spent an hour spitting this out. Such a struggle, the whole writing thing.
Last night I heard my own heart beating, sounded like footsteps on my stairs.
Elsa walked down the corridor with her head high. Each stride gave her confidence. With a determined look she continued her on her way until she reached the double doors of the gallery. Inside, Anna stood gazing at a picture of some world far, far away. She had a vividly blue dress on that went down to her ankles. Elsa thought of how she had never seen somebody look so simply beautiful.
But as she looked on, Elsa felt it in her heart. "No, it's wrong. It's all so wrong." She thought on, "It was never supposed to be like this. This should have never happened."
What confused her the most what of what she was thinking of. Losing control over herself to fear? Freezing over Arendelle and beyond for leagues? ...Anna?
No.
She is young. They both are. Far too young to understand or even begin to think and feel. Love was new. How could she ever learn to love, for she had gone a decade without feeling loved? Who would dare care for a monster such as herself? Sure, Anna could love her sister. Not romantically. That would be preposterous. It would be wrong and immoral and horrendous.
And it still destroyed her with every breath.
Too far infatuated with this... This being that it is impossible to see past the lust. The longing. The desperation.
Still, from afar Elsa begged herself to stop. Should she go through with her intentions the world around her would change dramatically. Reality would crash and burn just as it had that one embarrassingly intoxicated night, only the effects would last longer than the next morning.
Before she was aware, Elsa saw her surroundings pass by her in a stunningly blurred view. No words had even begun to form on her tongue before Anna's soft voice caressed her ears. "No one ever teaches you how to love." The queen inhaled quickly as the princess turned around. "You play and you fight and you learn it yourself. If you're lucky, it comes naturally." By her tone she could tell that the words were chosen carefully. Visually her lips trembled as if they were unsure. "You slowly learn to love the things around you throughout your life. Usually it's not romantic. But it's love, you know?" Anna pushed her hair behind her ear subconsciously. "It's scary and beautiful." A faint smile flashed across her face for a moment and Elsa felt like the stars that fell from the sky when she saw it. "The only way, I think, that you can love someone is if you let yourself love them. You can't love without argument but you can only allow yourself to truly feel them is if you trust yourself enough to love them,"
Without saying a word, Elsa left. She made her way through the stone walls and wood floorboards of the castle. Riding side-saddle on her horse, she fled to the North Mountain. She sat in solitude and silence for hours. Words echoed in her mind. A blazing picture of her sister's smirk seared into her memory.
Before long, she had encased herself in her own ice. Her own emotions. Trapped in a shell of sheer fear.
It wasn't long before day turned to night. Elsa heard her heartbeat in the frozen water around her. It increased in volume until every other thought had drained away and all she could understand was the steady rhythm of her pulse. One-two, one-two, one-two. The ice around her closed in more. One-two, one-two, one-two. As the sound became more familiar, the more it sounded like other sounds. Mainly footsteps. It walked with elegance and confidence. Almost as if her parents had finally come back and were walking up her staircase to greet her. Almost as if they were tapping on the case that surrounded her, calling her name- Wait.
Elsa thought of a happy moment and the ice around her disappeared. It didn't register right away, but sure enough Anna sat staring at her with a sense of endless wonder.
"Hey," She greeted sweetly. "I couldn't find you anywhere on the grounds,"
Elsa said nothing.
"So... Do you mind if I join you as you wallow in your own self-pity?"
Nothing.
"I'm staying anyway, you don't even have to answer that." Anna stood up and extended her hand down to her sister who was still on her knees. "Come on, get up."
Elsa only looked up, avoiding the younger sisters gaze. She assessed the situation very carefully.
Again, before she could even process it, Elsa's body moved on its own. Completely taken over by some unseen force she stood and switches places with her sister. She walked forward, pushing her sister to walk backwards with just the power of her gaze until Elsa had Anna pinned against the wall.
There was not even a hint of fear in Anna's eyes.
With her breathing heavy and unstable, Elsa looked at what she had done. Her light blue eyes flickered across what lay in front of her, trying to read what the sometimes-blue-sometimes-green eyes were trying to convey. Though all she could understand was that the unspoken expression on her little sisters face had already been said.
She softened her glare as if to say 'I'm sorry.' and turned away.
Regret. So, so much regret. Why had she done this? This is not how a queen is supposed to act. This is not how a queen is supposed to think.
It's not the kind of ending you want to see now...
A/N: If you're wondering, the ask said: "I'm afraid I won't be able to love anyone because I have never really been taught to love."
This is really different from anything else I've ever written. This will probably be the most intimate fic I have, and I will not be killing off any of the characters. Treading new ground I guess.
Anyway, thanks for reading and all. I'm kind of thinking I should continue this but I wasn't sure. So I put it up here and if you guys think I should go forward with this, I will!