Hi there. This story, first thought to be a one shot, happened to get the second chapter :) For those who liked it the way it was - sorry. But I still have something to say in this topic.
Rating: It might change. The main character: Kakashi. NO PARINGS and never expect any. As for now Sasuke plays just a small role here.
Update: Date unknown. However I plan to write some more chapters someday.
Info: Story takes place when Sandaime (the Third Hokage) was still alive and Kakashi had been training team 7 for a couple of months.
Day after day. All the same. Kakashi was looking in the mirror at a reflection of a man in his late twenties. He spotted first wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. How had he grown up and got old so quick? He remembered well him being a kid, him going on missions with teammates and the sensei. Now he himself was a sensei for a certain three. Honestly, he had never seen himself as a teacher. It was Sandaime, who gave him that role and Kakashi apathetically accepted what fate brought him.
After his teammate's death, who he, to be absolutely honest, never liked much, Kakashi thought he would manage to change. And he did, but not exactly in who he wanted. Arrogant, bitter kid was finally gone, but his place took seemingly easy-going adolescent. A teenage who never wanted anything from others – didn't he overcome his problems, did he? Amiable for everyone but to no one close.
He abandoned the path of anger, but he couldn't find another way.
Obito's passing shocked him. Woke him up. He desperately decided to do something with his half-assed live. He tried. He deluded himself. He wanted to live up to the hopes the late friend reposed in Kakashi by giving him a part of himself.
But the time slipped by and a feeling of emptiness hasn't faded. How to live a great life in a gray everydayness? At last reality had done it's own thing. It overgrew both forlorn hopes and the yawning hole in his heart. Only in the days like today – cold and cloudy, the defense walls Kakashi erected around himself would wobble.
Empty dark apartment depressed him so much. He went out to breathe a fresh evening air. His legs automatically chose well known direction – towards the cemetery, to Obito's grave.
When Kakashi passed the graveyard gate, sweet smell of burning votive candles immediately reached his nostrils. In the falling night illumination of graves looked somehow unworldly. Surely cemetery was a special space.
There was hardly any visitors. Kakashi turned into the by-lane that lead into Uchiha familial burial site. This place clearly differed from the other, quite modern, parts of the graveyard. You could see old cypress grow amongst sumptuous tombstones from the years of clan's brilliance. But the place also carried the evidences of decay. Ravenous nature had gained its reign over the burial site and only fresh flowers on tombs gave away that somebody actually was coming here regularly.
Kakashi stood over Obito's grave and as always tortured himself with his thoughts. Why did his life made such turn? Why he even bother coming here? Is it he felt guilt? Obligation to pay respect to the deceased?
Hatake was left alone. Minato-sensei not long after the accident became Hokage so he couldn't spent time with them. Kakashi understood. Rin gave up being a ninja and moved out from the village, whereas he flung himself into work to prove himself worth of Obito's gift. He took the most dangerous missions, he made impossible possible while in ANBU. Or was it he just sought death, oblivion, absolution? Whatever his true motives were finally he was left alone. Everyone else somehow sorted out their lives. He understood.
But why, for goodness sake, it hurts so much? He's got everything, He achieved everything but still he felt like he's nothing. Obito, it's so easy to be gone, don't you admit that? Sensei, it was easy for you to leave us, wasn't it? Only because I didn't cry over my pathetic live, only because I tried to be strong? Aaaghhh!
Yet again I'll come here to swear to you Obito I will do something with my life. And when I visit you for the next time, you'll ask me if everything's okay. I'll only shrug my shoulders and put a smile on my face. After all another failure is what I accustomed to.
Icy gust of wind sobered him up from a trance. His shoulders were shaking from anger but he quickly suppressed emotions. It's useless., I can want, I can strive. I can as well cry over myself Whatever I do it won't change anything. He made his way to the exit.
While he was maneuvering between tombstones he heard quiet sobs. Soon enough he spotted a small figure sitting motionlessly beside a grave. Only one person was coming regularly to this part of the graveyard. Kakashi couldn't be wrong.
At the sound of somebody's footsteps move closer Uchiha Sasuke stood up, quickly wiped his face with a hand and turn toward visitor. Of course he pretended he hadn't just lost his self-control.
Sensei couldn't help but smile bitterly under his mask. How many times had he seen such behavior? Really, it was a peace of cake to see through his pupil. But even now didn't he, Kakashi himself acted to be easy-going, blasé teacher in front of his team?
"What are you doing here? It's already dark" said Kakashi.
"I could ask you the same. However I was just about to leave." Yeah, sure, kid
Together they reached the main alley and continue walking without a word. Both in gloomy thoughts.
Sasuke first broke the silence.
"I often see you at Obito's grave". There was no sarcasm nor arrogance in the statement.
"Yep. You also visit them often."
It took the raven a moment to decide whether to go on with this topic.
"It's already five years… But I feel like just a moment ago… they were here." It wasn't supposed to be a complaint - it was rather stating a fact, almost funny fact of how one's mind works.
Kakashi was silence. What could he really tell the boy? That it's better to forget, that it's hurts less then? Or come up with a fairy tale of how his parents are looking at him from above?
"Sometimes it all feels just so meaningless…" Sasuke added in seemingly casual tone. He wouldn't manage to dig into the topic more. Besides what right did he have to bother others with his private news.
Kakashi after a moment of hesitation put a hand on Sasuke' head. He felt a tiny bond of understatement between them. Stupid petty thing, but it made him feel a little better. Boy didn't reacted, just accepted fleeting touch.
"Maybe it is actually meaningless" Jounin said honestly. "I don't know, I don't see it clearly now. But what options are left for us? Try our best. Believe we're not truly alone… that our lives do have sense."
They reached the gate from where each one should go his separate way. They stood in silence as if the presence of another person allowed them to fight off the demons of darkness.
Kakashi even let himself believe that maybe their relation is something more than shallow acquaintanceship out of necessity.
„Come with me. It's cold. Let's drink a tea at my place" without a second thought he came up with shy proposition.
„You mean now?" Uchiha was almost back in his amour of sarcasm.
"Yes, now"
Surprisingly Sasuke didn't raise any protest nor ask any question but follow his sensei. He also tried to believe that Kakashi didn't care of him only out of duty.
In such a cold bleak evening being alone would be the worst.
Thank you for reading. Feedback appreciated.