A/N: Written for the CCOAC OC Challenge.
The chunk of italics and the bit before that (at the beginning) feels badly pieced together, but I'm happy with the rest of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
Felicia Gamble used to actually want to be a principal of an elementary school. She'd always wanted to be a teacher of sorts since she was a little girl. When she'd been given the position as principal of Woodbridge Elementary School, she'd been so happy.
It was the first time she'd felt happy since her daughter was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from school.
But she would never feel that way again. She had never thought she would feel so numb with shock, so devastated, ever again. And that was why she'd very quickly stepped down from her job.
She still remembered the events of that fateful day like it was yesterday.
How the young man had taken a class of fourth graders and their teacher hostage.
How Jennifer Jareau had approached her, frantic and in tears.
How shots had been fired, and Jennifer had tried to get into the school.
Felicia remembered holding the profiler back while she screamed for her son. How it had actually affected her so much.
She remembered when, after the shooter had been wrestled down by a S.W.A.T team, the surviving children had been walked from the school grounds into the arms of their distraught parents.
How Henry LaMontagne had not been one of them.
And now, she sat across from the very same Jennifer Jareau, a coffee cup held loosely in her hands. She couldn't help but watch the blonde with concern. It had been three months since the shooting. Since Henry died.
Jennifer looked pale, like she hadn't slept in ages. Her eyes were tired, but filled with sadness. She avoided Felicia's gaze, instead choosing to keep her eyes on the floor.
Jennifer and her husband, William, had fallen to Felicia for support after Henry's tragic death. During the time Henry had spent at the school, after a few incidents that had resulted in Jennifer having to come to speak with her son's principal, Felicia and Jennifer had actually formed a friendship. Much to their own surprise.
"I miss him," Jennifer said softly, breaking the silence. Looking up at her son's former principal, turned her closest friend after Emily and Penelope, she fought back tears as she thought of her beautiful blonde angel. "There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him. I can't stop thinking about how I never got to say goodbye...never got to tell him I loved him one last time"
Felicia sat in silence, building a response from the comfort she had to offer. Setting her coffee cup down on the coffee table in front of her, she leaned forward, resting on her knees. "I felt exactly the same. I never got to say goodbye...or tell her I loved her one more time"
Jennifer lifted her face, confused etched in her tear filled eyes, her broken expression. "What...what do you mean?" she asked softly.
Felicia took a breath, looking around the room as she tried to find the right words. "My daughter...Bethany...she was walking home from school with a friend of hers. They were nine years old. As they went around a corner, they were hit by an out of control police car, which had been chasing a stolen BMW. Bethie was killed on impact, and her friend, Eliza, suffered severe long term brain damage. She'll never walk or talk again," she explained gently, her eyes filling with tears. "I couldn't stop thinking about how I'd never gotten to say goodbye to Bethie, or tell her I loved her. It's been nearly six years...the pain has lessened, but it's still there"
"Felicia...I had no idea," Jennifer said quietly.
"No one does. The only reason it happened was because the school she was at didn't have bus routes, and I couldn't pick her up every day. If she'd been able to take a bus...well, she'd still be here today. I think that's why I wanted to become a principal. To not only make their learning more enriched, but to make their travelling to and from school safer as well"
Jennifer opened her mouth to speak, but Felicia cut her off. "I know it's no-one's fault but Dennis Averley's, but I am very sorry about Henry's death...some of the blame for what happened can be put on me. There was little to no security on the school, and there should have been"
"Nothing can really make up for the loss of a child. I'm sure you'd understand that," Jennifer said softly, tears tracking down her cheeks, tears she'd been holding in since Felicia first arrived. Getting up, she lifted the photo of three of them, her, Will, and Henry, from the mantel, tracing the shape of Henry's face with the tip of her finger. Felicia came up behind her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"It does get better"
"It's so unfair...our child...a child created out of love...taken away from us so quickly"
"How's Will handling it?"
"Not much better than I am. He goes out, and just walks, for hours. He says he needs to clear his head...but I think he just doesn't want to cry in front of me. He always wants to be the strong one," JJ half laughed, wiping away her tears, and replacing the photo on the mantel.
"You need to be able to show emotion to each other. It's easier to cope...much easier. When Bethie died, my husband did the same thing...until I convinced him that I wouldn't think any less of him if I saw him cry"
As if on cue, the front door opened and closed, and Will entered the room. Felicia greeted him warmly, and after a few minutes, bid her goodbyes.
As she drove home, she contemplated the last few months.
She wasn't sure if the guilt for what happened would ever go away. Or if she'd ever be able to find another job that didn't have so much at stake.
But she knew that in the meantime, she could help Jennifer and Will cope with their loss, and maybe, in the midst of it all, find a way to completely move on with her own.
A/N: It feels a bit...I don't know, I knew where I wanted to go with it, but I'm not sure if I did the idea justice.
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SQ215 xxx