For the Love of Black and White
Disclaimer-I blame Nickelodeon and Dreamworks, this is just an innocent little idea that turned into something I had no control over. Enjoy.
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He looked up at the gold and deep orange colors of the late afternoon sky, attempting to wave away the cloud image as it slowly shaped itself into the being that had been troubling his thoughts more and more recently. Unfortunately his kingly status did not give him the power to control the weather. He looked across the zoo and sighed, he doubted that his kingly status did anything but annoy his neighbors, democracy was so confusing, if everyone had a say in what was to be done for everyone, then the leading majority of idiots were the defining factor of what happened to everyone. He smirked to himself, he was more intelligent that the others believed, but back in Madagascar all he did was rule idiots, Mort was a perfect example although sometimes he wondered about what went on behind those huge creepy cute eyes. Maurice had been the only one besides him with any sense in that place and a perfect advisor, something about that voice made simpletons listen. "Your Majesty is something bothering you? You've been sighing a lot lately." He was pulled from his thoughts from his advisor and scowled as his wandering thoughts returned to the root of his predicament. "Yes Maurice something has been bothering me, thank you ever so much for interrupting my attempts to not letting it get to me." The fluffy gray lemur looked up at him in earnest. "Is there any way I can help?" He looked down at his advisor, the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend and shoulder to weep miserably upon when it was necessary. "I'm not sure Maurice, do you know how to fall out of love with someone, when all you do every second of every waking hour is think about their happiness and all you do every second of every hour you sleep is dream of being happy with them. No, I don't think so, but I appreciate your concern." Mort appeared out of nowhere and looked up at him with those GARGANTUAN eyes as he clasped his paws together cutely. "King Julian is in LOVE? Is it with me?" He resisted the urge to chuck the nearest pineapple at the bug eyed little rodent and slumped back in his throne. "No Mort, as impossible as it may sound I don't love you, your cuteness does not affect me. I think of you more as a nephew, a horribly annoying social leech that will never give me any peace but there you go, one big happy dysfunctional family and to be completely honest, I think I wouldn't have it any other way." Maurice smiled up at him. "Your Majesty that was unexpectedly heartfelt." He nodded. "I know, ever since this love thing occurred to me I am finding it increasingly difficult to be shallow and selfish, even my inner party animal has slunk of somewhere into the dark corners of my brain to brood about it. I have never felt such things Maurice, this may be the death of me." Mort gasped and fainted as Maurice looked up at him. "Why don't you just tell the person about your feelings?" He sat up in his chair and glared down at the lemur. "Open your eyes Maurice! Every single animal in this zoo besides you and Mort hate my guts! I would rather wallow in my misery than face painful rejection and the mockingness that would follow, just leave me alone to die Maurice, you can have the throne when I am gone I promise you." He curled into a ball and sighed deeply as Maurice's ears drooped sadly.
Maurice went to the nightly meeting at the zoo gift shop and listened to what the other animals had to say before Private looked around. "Skipper, I don't see Julian around, do you think he's sick?" The short flat topped penguin looked around before drawling. "Yeah, where is that ringtail, I haven't had to tell him to turn that music down for days. Did he get into some bad lychee nuts again?" Mort burst out crying and he sighed. "His Majesty is indeed ill, but its not anything the zoo vets can cure." They all gasped and Private whispered. "Do you think it's contagious?" Mort started crying harder and yowled. "King Julian is in LOVE! He's heart sick!" The entire room went silent except for Mort's whimpering before one of the chimps snorted and the rest soon followed. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" He glared. "King Julian is dying because of this and all you can do is laugh! He knows that none of you like him, which is why he hasn't said or done anything for days. I can understand why he'd rather let himself die than admit his feelings, if this is what he has to expect." The chimp's looked at each other and made identical disgusted faces. "Its not either of us is it?" He sighed. "I don't know who it is, his Majesty wont tell me any specifics. I don't know what to do, King Julian is like an older brother to me, even if none of you care Mort and I do." The sound of Julian's boom-box coming on made him sigh in relief until Marlene gasped. "Oh my god! He's listening to the Cure! This must be bad!" They all crowded around the window to see the ringtailed lemur laying face down on his bouncy castle as the goth hit 'Love Song' stuck on repeat echoed across the zoo. "Something has to be done! That stuff is worse than the techno dance he usually listens to." Maurice sighed. "Unless one of you is willing to accept that he may have feelings for you and give him a chance I don't see any way to get him to stop this behavior." Marlene looked around. "We don't even know which one of us he wants." Skipper cracked his flipper as Rico coughed up a hand held taser. "Then we'll just have to ask him."
He looked down at the crowd of animals apathetically and sighed. "Maurice, you may think this helps but I assure you it doesn't. Please all of you just go away. I don't need your insincere sympathy." Skipper growled. "Cut the pity party ringtail and just tell us who you're in love with so we can arrange a date for the two of you." He raised an eyebrow. "Is that what this is all about? Maurice what have I done to deserve this? Truly am I so horrible that I am destined to have my heart stolen and smashed into itty bitty pieces because I cannot think of a more cruel punishment." Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Rico, plan B." The scarred penguin coughed up a spray bottle and handed it off to Kowolski who was vaulted into the air by Private and Skipper, spraying the king lemur with the unknown substance as he flew over him. He coughed and waved the air in front of him as his vision blurred. "What have you done to me?! What was that stuff?!" Skipper smirked. "Super concentrated pheromones. In a few moments you'll be overtaken by your sexual urges and jump the bones of whoever you're the most romantically inclined to or whoevers's closest, the formula hasn't been perfected yet." The other animals stared at the short penguin before running away. He chuckled quietly and rubbed the fur of his muzzle smooth as he looked down at the four remaining penguins. "You think you are being so clever, spraying me with that lust potion just to get your beloved peace and quiet. Well I assure you, that will be that last thing you will be having." His pupils widened and his tail puffed up as his grin turned predatory. "Because Skipper it is you who I have fallen for and it is you who is responsible for my state of being until it wears off. Maurice! Pop in the Marvin Gaye CD, we'll be busy for a while." The shocked penguin was led back to the vegetation as he pushed Skipper into the soft greenery, looking back at the remaining three with a saucy wink before following.
Three days later he limped out of the bushes and managed to get back to headquarters without being seen by any of the humans. "Skipper, are... are you alright?" He looked at the youngest member of their group and cracked his neck before putting his flippers down on the table. "Kowolski, status report." The taller penguin blinked and looked him over. "You have a goofy grin on your face and I detect the lingering scent of tropical fruit astroglide on your feathers. I'd say there is a ninety seven point eight chance you enjoyed yourself." He scowled. "Anybody got a problem with that?" The three shook their heads and he smiled. "Good." The dart board secret passage opened up and Julian poked his head in. "There you are, you know once I came to my senses I realized you must be terribly worn out so I thought to myself what would make me feel better after all that happened to me." He looked at his new boyfriend tiredly. "Get to the point Julian." The ringtailed lemur smiled at him and flicked his tail over his shoulder. "So impatient Skipper. Anyways, I came over here to offer you a back massage to apologize for my roughness but if you are busy I don't mind coming back." He smiled and turned to Kowolski. "Kowolski, hold down the fort until I get back." Julian swooped him up and carried him back to the lemur habitat as Private stared slightly. "Do you think we should tell them that the pheromones weren't fully tested so it was just water in that spray can?" Rico flinched and Kowolski shook his head. "There are some things Private that should just be left unsaid. Rico, you're in charge while I'm out on my date with Marlene. Don't blow anything up." Kowolski disappeared with a large canister of chocolate body paint, leaving Private and Rico to share a look. "Thank goodness, I thought we'd never get any time alone." Rico smiled and held the younger penguin closer to him as they laid down together. "Ever after." Private smiled. "I know, I love happy endings too. Love you Rico. Goodnight." The two snuggled closer on their shared bunk and slept, innocently oblivious to what dirty, kinky acts of sexual bird on mammal acts of depravity their team mates were doing with their significant others. Maybe it was better than way.
The End
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