Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any songs I might use a line from while writing this story.

A/N: This goes along with my one-shot '5 Women'. This is Makoto's point of view and written as diary entries. I guess with the way I'm doing these, it does not matter which you read first. This will have two parts and if you find this before I have the second part up, you might want to read Motoki's part first.

All characters are very OOC. This is an AU and they are just normal humans.

Since this is very AU and characters are very OOC, I do plan to write something Makoto related that is closer to 'could have happened in the series', kind of thing. So keep an eye out if that is more of your thing.

I hope that you enjoy this. I would appreciate it if you would leave reviews. Even if it's to tell me that you do not like what you see here. It will help me for other stories.

Happy Reading!

:

March 10th

Dear Diary,

It has been awhile since I have written to you. I'm sorry, but things have been more than a little hectic…

I left Motoki.

It has been over a week now. I have been staying with my friends Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. They were so kind as to invite me to stay with them in their lovely home. I have only known them a short while and yet, they welcomed me with open arms. Well, actually, I knew Haruka better than Michiru.

Haruka and I met at a motocross race back in January. Motoki does not enjoy the sport much, but I had won two free tickets to go and a VIP pass to spend some time with the winner. So, we went. Haruka was the only female racer and ended up being the winner. She seemed to enjoy our company. She said that her girlfriend, Michiru, was out of town and would not be back for another week. She was lonely without her around and did not have many friends since they were new in town.

Over the next week, Haruka and I became fast friends. I felt a little bad because I was not spending as much time with Motoki as I usually did. I was afraid that he might get jealous. Haruka is very attractive and she was not shy in pointing out that she thought that I was beautiful as well. She never made me feel uncomfortable in any way and never made any advances, she just stated what she thought to be true and I believe she enjoyed my blushes.

As much as Motoki would tell me that I was beautiful, it seemed to mean more coming from a fellow woman. A woman who was more beautiful than any one I have ever seen before. I have never been afraid to find the beauty in others, man or woman, but I have never been attracted to a woman before, nor am I now.

Once Michiru returned home, I was stunned. She was so stunning with her unusually colored hair of a dark sea green and eyes as blue as the ocean. She was very kind to me and would giggle at Haruka and me when Haruka would make me blush. She would state that Haruka would do that with all the girls she found attractive, but she was not worried. She said that Haruka might flirt with others, but that was all and at the end of the day, she was the one Haruka kisses goodnight.

I enjoyed the times that the three (or even four, because Motoki would sometimes join us) had together, but I always seemed to end up talking with Haruka. Motoki and Michiru seemed to get along well. They both are not big into sport and Haruka and I are. She does not only race, but she also used to take karate. I, myself have been taking it since I was a little girl. When Haruka and I went off into our own little world of sports and other things that the two of us enjoyed, Michiru and Motoki would be left to fend for themselves.

I found myself forgetting dates with Motoki and just not as committed to our relationship. I felt guilty. I was not cheating on him, I was not lying to him and I was not having thoughts of leaving him, but I still felt bad. I loved him. I still love him. I just felt as if I was drifting away and could not find a way back to him. I love him and yet I was treating him like he was just a friend. I could not sleep at night, because I would watch him. He was so lost in his happy world, that he did not realize that I was no longer in it.

Maybe he was just ignoring that fact.

Motoki acted as if things were the same as they had been. I tried to talk to him more than once, but every time I looked into his loving green eyes, I would lose my nerve. I had become someone that I despised. I could not even tell the man I loved that I was having problems and that our relationship might end.

It did end.

I ended up doing the one thing I told myself I would never do… I left. I just left. I did not leave a note or anything. One weekend he went to visit his sister and I asked Haruka if she would help me pack my things, put them into storage, and then take me to a hotel. She would not hear of such a thing. She did not know why I was leaving Motoki, but she did not want me to stay in a hotel.

I have been living with her and Michiru since.

I have been saving up some money and with what I have in savings (I was saving up for if Motoki ever asked me to marry him and we decided to start a family), I want to look for a house. I want some place I can call my own. Maybe get a cat or two. I want to have a place that is mine and a place I can go when I just need to get away and think. A place where I can have a big garden in the back yard and a big kitchen to continue furthering my cooking skills.

I hope that I will be able to write to you again soon. I know that it had been so long since I had written anything to you. Maybe next month I will have something better in my life to tell you.

Thanks for listening,
Makoto

:

April 10th

Dear Diary,

I told myself that I would write to you again before a month had past, well, my month is up. To say that things have gotten better… would be a lie…

A lot can happen in a month.

I realized that I was happy staying with Haruka and Michiru. Happier then I can ever remember being. I still love Motoki and I think about him often. I feel bad for how I left and even worse for being happy. I know that I should not feel bad for being happy, but I know Motoki has to either be hurting or angry. Maybe even both. I would not blame him. If someone left me the way that I left him, I would most likely cry my eyes out and then kick their asses. Or at least think about it.

Michiru went off on another one of her trips if the Classical Orchestra that she plays with from time to time. Haruka goes with her when she can, but she has been spending a lot of time trying to get into this race that has only ever allowed men to drive. She figures she can get in even without getting any lawyers involved with a sex discrimination suit. Haruka might seem like just a pretty flirt who like to race to some, but she is really bright and also very strong. She can be very intimidating when she wants to be.

Michiru has been gone for four days now and will be gone another four. She seemed a little upset when she left. She was looking forward to some alone time with Haruka. I have been with them for over a month now and I think I might be overstaying my welcome. Michiru has not said anything to me, but I can tell that something is bothering her. She is usually very polite, but as of late, she has been a little distant towards me.

I think I might be cutting into her and Haruka's alone time. Haruka is a good friend and she has even become my best friend. I would like to think that I might have even become hers. Whenever we are both home, Haruka does not seem to allow me to be alone much. I think she realized that the rain tends to make me sad. With all of these April showers we have been having, it seems like it is always raining and Haruka is always by my side. I'm afraid that this might be why Michiru is upset. I feel as if I am a home wrecker. I don't want that to happen.

Because of all of this, I have doubled my efforts to find a home I can call my own.

Just today Haruka and I went to look at this beautiful two-story, two bedroom, two bath, stone front house at the end of town. I believe this is the perfect home for me, but the realtor said that I should sleep on it. She told me that many would buy a home when they first see it and then end up putting it back on the market. The realtor told us that this seemed to be the perfect home for Haruka and me. She seemed to think that we were looking for a home for the both of us, because we were a couple. I knew Haruka loved that. I could see that sparkle in her eyes that she gets whenever she flirts with me. I tried to tell her otherwise, but Haruka beat me to it by putting her arm around me and saying that she was sure we could turn this house to a happy home.

I could feel my face growing red and I knew Haruka saw, because she tightened her hold on me. The realtor smiled sweetly and said something about young love and said that she would let us look around a little more and would be out front when we were done.

After she left, I turned to Haruka and smacked her (not too gently) on the arm. She only giggled when I turned my back to her. I was so furious! I swear you could see smoke coming out of my ears. I just started to walk towards the front door when Haruka placed her arms around me and held me from behind. She placed her chin on my shoulder and whispered that she was sorry. She said that she was just having fun, that she did not mean to make me upset and that she did not want me to be mad, not at her.

I found myself unable to move. No one has held me since I left Motoki. I still love him and I did not want to fool anyone of anything else. Why be with someone if I did not and could not love them? But this… It felt so nice to be held by someone… by Haruka… I just did not know that her holding me like she would Michiru would cause me to feel like I have been missing something since I left Motoki.

Haruka soon let go and walked past me, she stopped looked over her shoulder and smiled. I shook my head and walked past her and out the door. On the way home we both acted as if nothing had happened and I'm not even sure if anything did.

Well, it's getting late. I hope that my next entry will be written from my new home.

Thanks for listening,
Makoto

:

May 2nd

Dear Diary,

Well, I am writing you from my new home. I decided to buy the house that I told you about last time. It's very lovely. I still have a few things I need, but I have enough to make it feel really inviting. I have been able to buy a couch and TV, a new bed and dresser and I already had a few knickknacks that have given it a more homey feel. I have been able to plant a few flowers, but there is so much more I would like to do. I would even like to plant a few trees.

I have even been talking with a few of my neighbors. The houses are not really close together, but it's still nice to know who is living so close. Just in case you need them some day. They all seem so nice, older couples usually are. All three houses I have visited have been older couple at least in their 60s. One woman was even known for her pies nationally. She was in papers and even on TV. I have read about her once when I was doing some research and wondered what happened. She just seemed to vanish one day. Here to find out, she did not like the spotlight and decided to move here where it is quiet and she could cook her pies for her friends and family.

She has given me one of her pies and I have given her one of mine. I had never tasted anything as good as her cherry pie and both her and her husband seemed to enjoy my blueberry one. I believe we will become good friends. I have visited her and her husband more than the others, but they all seem very nice.

It feels like I always start with good news, if I have any that is. It seems that the house is the only wonderful thing that has been happening as of late.

I had just started moving out when Michiru returned from her trip. Haruka had been helping me and she also joined in on the task at hand. Everything seemed to be going fine. It took only four days. That even includes the time we spent looking for things like the couch and smaller things like dishes. On the day that everything was done, Haruka suggested that the three of us stay at my new house and just sleep in the living room on the floor just like teenagers when they have sleep overs.

I thought that it was a wonderful idea and thought that it was a good way to start my new life on my own and without the help of my friends. Haruka and I started to make plans and figure out what all we were going to do and such when Michiru told us that she would have to decline. Haruka looked hurt. Haruka started to ask Michiru why she was not going to stay, but Michiru cut her off. She said that she just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed since she was tired.

Michiru said goodbye and started to leave. Haruka looked to me and stared to leave as well. Michiru stopped and told Haruka that she could stay if she wanted, but something told me that she really did not want her to stay with me.

I don't remember seeing Haruka look so happy. She hugged Michiru, wished her a goodnight, and then grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen and started to decide what we should do about food. I heard the door shut harder then was necessary and I cringed on the inside. It did not seem that Haruka noticed and I did not want to spoil her good mood.

Michiru was soon forgotten and Haruka and I had a wonderful time cooking, watching movies, and just talking about anything and everything.

We were up late, but I just could not seem to sleep, even after Haruka fell asleep during one of the action movies she had picked out. I started to think about everything that was going on with my life and the people around me. I thought of Haruka, my neighbors, Michiru, and even Motoki. It was then that I realized that I had not been thinking about him as much. I don't know if it was because I have been busy or maybe the guilt was dwindling. It was then that I realized I no longer felt as strongly for Motoki as I once did.

I still feel for him and almost wish that I did not leave, but then I think of my time with Haruka and I know that I would not take it back. I might do some things differently, but I would have still left. In a way, that makes me feel worse. I have thought about calling him or even going to see him, but I can't bring myself to do so. I hurt him, I just know it, and for me to have his forgiveness (because I know he will forgive me, he is just that nice) I could not live with myself. I don't deserve his kindness.

Moving on…

I still have not mentioned the biggest thing to happen. Michiru kicked Haruka out. Yep. The day that she went home after she spent the night at my place, Haruka found her stuff packed. All Haruka has told me so far was that Michiru knew that I would allow her to stay her and that she knew that this moment had been coming for a while now.

I hate to believe it, but I think that I might have been the reason. Even if I did not steal Haruka away in a romantic way, I have become her best friend and in a way, that is worse.

Haruka came back that evening and tried to talk to Michiru the next day. I could hear Michiru yelling on the phone and caught that Haruka would be happier with me and that she would be happier without us both. I felt sorry for Haruka. She and Michiru had been together for years. I felt awful. Haruka, on the other hand, did not seem that hurt. She was upset, but when Michiru had yelled at her, it seemed like she was okay with how things were.

Haruka and I have been sharing my master bedroom since she moved in. She has been looking for a bed and said that as soon as she found one she loved, she would allow me to spend lonely night by myself in my big king-sized bed. Haruka must be picky about her beds. It has been awhile and she still has not found one that she likes. It's not that it bothers me or that I think she would try something while I sleep, I just know how people like to have their own space.

Michiru did come over a couple of nights ago. She apologized to us both for how she had been acting and that she was sorry for how she kicked Haruka out. We all seem to be friends again, but I'm not sure how sturdy that friendship is.

I am in hopes that my next entry will have some happier news.

Thanks for listening,
Makoto