Merlin sat up in a panic, sweat soaking through his tank top, leaving wet marks on his pillow and sheets. He looked over at Arthur, who was somehow serenely unaware that Merlin had been screaming. At least, Merlin felt like he had been screaming, but it had been in a dream and he hoped that he hadn't screamed out loud. He had been holding Freya in his arms, watching as her life bled away through a wound delivered from none other than Arthur. Shaking his head gently and wiping his face, Merlin gingerly crawled out of bed and looked at the clock across the room. 3:38 am. A good three and a half hours before even Arthur usually woke up.

But there was no way he could fall back asleep after that dream. It was as if he'd really just seen her die in front of him. And his nights seemed to be more and more frequently interrupted and he knew that even Arthur was starting to suspect that something was wrong. Well, none of his friends and family could prevent him from waking up, and Merlin decided he could do with an aspirin. Or three.

Trying to remain as quiet as possible, Merlin crept down the stairs and turned on the light, pouring himself a glass of milk and searching through the cupboards for the medicine chest his mother had hidden in one of her reorganizing sprees.

"Trouble sleeping again?" Balinor stood in the doorway to the kitchen, face still groggy from being woken. He wore Hunith's pink bathrobe and looked particularly ridiculous.

Merlin just nodded, then tried to divert his father's inquires. "Did you need anything? I could pour you a glass of milk, make you a sandwich."

Balinor's gruff response surprised Merlin. "Can't hurt," he grumbled, dragging himself to the table. Plopping down, he eyed Merlin as his son began pulling out ingredients from the fridge. "Was it me again?"

Merlin glanced at his father, still feeling the all-to-real panic in his chest from his nightmare. "No. It was Freya this time."

Balinor took the glass of milk from Merlin and threw it back, taking a long heavy drink. "I heard you screaming. Your mother slept through it this time. I'm surprised you didn't wake up Arthur. I guess he sleeps through it often, huh?" Merlin nodded at Balinor. "He's a very deep sleeper."

"I would guess so," Balinor replied. He tapped his fingers as Merlin began spreading peanut butter on the bread. "Hunith's worried about you. I'm worried about you." Merlin tried very hard not to slam the bread together, took a breath, and then handed the sandwich to his father with what he hoped looked like a smile. Of course his parents were worried about him, but it wasn't like they could do anything about it.

Balinor took another long gulp of milk, then wiped his beard with the back of his hand. "It all started up again when I came back, didn't it." It wasn't a question. Merlin just nodded again, ashamed to look at his father. "I don't suppose you have a subconscious desire to do me in, do you?" He said it as a joke but Merlin felt sick.

"It's not just you dying," Merlin said, struggling to control his emotions. "Now it's Freya dying. But even that wasn't the worst of it. Arthur and I aren't together; he's in love with Gwen. Morgana is trying to kill me. My dreams keep coming back and they feel more and more real as the days go by."

Balinor ate his sandwich quietly, and Merlin appreciated the silence. He sat down next to his father and rested his head on Balinor's strong shoulder. "Dad, I feel like these dreams are trying to tell me something. I just don't understand what it could be."

"Have you considered counseling?" Balinor asked, reaching up to stroke his son's dark hair. "Is is your relationship that is troubled? Does Arthur know about this?"

"Do I know about what?" Arthur asked from behind them, in the middle of a yawn. He was wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants, hung low around his hips. His hair was sticking up in all directions and Merlin could feel his heart melting again at the sight of his boyfriend. It was ridiculous how much he loved the blond, strapping man who had been his freshman roommate at Oxford and who had been his boyfriend since their second semester.

"Perhaps you two should discuss this," Balinor said, kissing Merlin on the top of his head and standing up. "There's more jam and peanut butter if you're hungry," he motioned to Arthur. "I'm going back to bed. Goodnight, you two."

Arthur stumbled over and plopped down next to Merlin, reaching over and taking Merlin's pale fingers in his own. "I woke up and you were gone. Everything okay?"

Merlin shook his head, scooting closer to Arthur. "I keep having nightmares, and they're getting worse. First it was my dad dying. Remember how I used to call in the middle of the night to make sure he was okay? Now, it's ... everything."

Arthur placed a hand up to Merlin's cheek and Merlin melted into the touch. "What do you mean by everything?"

"You and I aren't together in my dreams. You're going to marry Gwen."

Arthur gave a short laugh. "Like I'd choose her over you, Merlin. You're the love of my life. You have been since we were freshmen in college." He slowly caressed Merlin's face. "Are these dreams…? Am I the prince and you're the magician, like you used to dream back at Oxford?"

He actually wasn't teasing this time, though Merlin hated to bring up that sore subject. "Yes. I'm the magician and you're the prince. And you're a prat about it, too. Always lording over me, as if you owned me."

Merlin stood up and went to the counter. "Do you want a sandwich? You always wake up hungry."

Arthur's eyes raked Merlin's thin frame, from his sleep-tousled head down to his tight, white boxer-briefs. "Yeah," his voice sounded husky, "I am a bit hungry."

Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur's attempt at flirting and turned to reach for the fridge. Arthur's strong hands were suddenly all over him, Arthur's lips tugging at Merlin's mouth, and then Arthur was kneeling down with Merlin's cock in his mouth and sucking on it like a lollipop. Merlin leaned back against the counter and moaned. "Arthur, what are you do- Arthur, yes," and Merlin ran his hands through Arthur's perfect, silky hair in anticipation.

Arthur popped off for a minute, and looked up at Merlin and smiled. "Two things. Number one: I don't lord over you in real life. And number two: I'm hungry for your cum."

If that wasn't enough to turn Merlin on, Arthur's increasingly excited slurping took care of Merlin's arousal level. Two deep slides of Arthur's warm tongue up and down his shaft and Merlin felt himself spilling out into Arthur's mouth, who looked deliciously pleased with himself.

"Merlin?" He might have died just then from embarrassment. It was his mother, from behind. Merlin turned slowly to look, instantaneously thankful that the counter was hiding Arthur and Merlin's lower half which had gone from rigid to jell-o. He was even more relieved to see that Hunith wasn't really looking at him either, her eyes puffy and her motions slurred with sleep. Arthur pulled up Merlin's briefs in a fast motion, then slid up next to him.

"Good morning, Hunith," he said charmingly. Merlin looked at Arthur in horror, seeing that some of his semen was left on Arthur's lower lip. He wiped it away as Hunith yawned behind her hand and stumbled forward to start up the coffee pot. Arthur grabbed his hand before Merlin would wipe it off on his shirt and grinned wickedly.

"Arthur, I'm surprised you're up," Hunith said. "Merlin, were you having bad dreams again? Your father came in and woke me. Accidentally of course." She continued to go about as if she was drunk, barely even looking at Merlin or Arthur. Either she was extremely tired or trying very hard to pretend she didn't know what Arthur and Merlin had been up to.

"Yes," Merlin said, struggling not to pitch his voice up higher as Arthur slowly sucked off the sperm from Merlin's fingers in a disgustingly erotic way. "I just came down for a drink is all."

"Well, why don't you two boys run back to bed?" Hunith said. "I'll come wake you around seven, and breakfast will be ready."

Arthur slipped a hand up Merlin's shirt and rested it on his warm belly. "Thank you Hunith, that would be perfect." And before Merlin could complain or even comment, Arthur had swept him back into the bedroom and tossed him into the bed. Merlin smiled as Arthur cuddled up next to Merlin, giving him a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"I'm head over heels in love with you, Merlin," Arthur sighed into Merlin's shoulder. "I want to be with you forever. A few bad dreams are never going to change that."

Merlin pushed his back against the wall, drawing Arthur close and twisting their arms and legs together to feel as much of Arthur's body as possible. Arthur was already asleep and Merlin could only hold on as the world he lived in seemed to be breaking. He couldn't help but start to cry, kissing Arthur's head and wondering what his tears were for.