A/N: Just something I needed to write. Angst.
"I'm afraid it's bad news, Mr Anderson."
The doctor looked down at his chart and then back up to the teenager with sad eyes. He saw this all the time, people's lives cut short, but it didn't make it any less painful. This was the news he always dreaded to tell, especially to someone so young.
"Please, doctor. Call me Blaine."
It started with headaches. He had them almost every day. He put them down to stress or dehydration, or maybe he needed glasses. He just took a painkiller and shrugged them off. Then they turned into migraines. They grew more and more painful, soon painkillers weren't helping. He decided to go to the doctor's to see if he could find a solution.
He never could have imagined the news he would receive.
"It's cancer, Blaine. And I'm sorry to say that it's terminal."
Blaine felt numb. He couldn't take in the news. He could hear his mother sob beside him, being consoled by the doctor, but he just stood there. The word 'cancer' floated around his head. Sure he heard of people getting it all the time, but he never thought it'd be him. He was only seventeen years old for God sake. Too young for anyone to have to face death.
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song"
He'd have to tell his friends, how was he supposed to do that? And Kurt. He was going to break his heart. They finally found each other and now they were being torn apart. He felt sick, to know he only had so little time left with Kurt. It was too much, it was all too much. He'd have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. He'd never get to go to college, never get married or have kids or grow old. Things so many people take for granted, being ripped away from.
"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother,
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colours.
Oh andlife ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby"
His mom was going to have to bury her baby. A parent's worse nightmare. He had always been closer to his mom that dad, she understood him more. She was much more accepting. He was going to have to say goodbye to her too.
"The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time"
Not enough.
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song"
He never thought he'd be planning his own funeral. As he grew weaker, he decided to face the inevitable. He sat down with his mother and decided what he'd like for the ceremony. Kurt helped too, he always had a way with organisation. They went through songs, colour schemes, prayers and even the nasty things like coffins.
"The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time"
Kurt visited Blaine everyday, not willing to lose any time with him. Some days they talked about everything, others they just lay on Blaine's bed and held on to each other. Some visits were spent in fits of giggles, others filled with tears and distress. And every time Kurt left to go home, he said goodbye like it would be his last one.
"And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed byThe sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time"
Blaine was so weak now. He spent all his time in bed, getting frailer and frailer. He was in pain a lot, but you never would have guessed it because he always put a smile on for people who came to see him. He only let his walls fall down around Kurt. Kurt always held his hand and kissed him better, doing anything he could to make him feel better. He told Blaine he loved him constantly, just to see him smile.
It was true though, he loved him so much. And soon Kurt would have to say goodbye.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I've been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
One Saturday evening, Kurt was at Blaine's bedside as always. He'd been there since early this morning and planned to stay the night. Blaine's mom would come in and chat with the boys from time to time, even Blaine's dad came in. During Blaine's illness they'd managed to put all their differences behind them, neither wanting to regret it when the time came to say goodbye.
"Kurt" Blaine whispered, almost inaudibly.
"Yes, Blaine?" Kurt squeezed his hand, letting him know he was here and listening.
"I'm going to be gone by tonight, I can tell."
Surprisingly Blaine didn't look said when he said this. Kurt looked at him and could have sworn he saw relief wash across his face.
"That wouldn't be the first time you've said that to scare me, love."
Even after all this time, Kurt wasn't ready to say goodbye. He knew he never would be. He started stroking Blaine's frail hand with his thumb, to sooth himself rather than Blaine.
"I can just…feel it though."
Kurt looked away, tears forming in his eyes. He knew Blaine was right, his pulse had been getting weaker these last few days and he can't remember the last time he got out of bed.
"Kurt?" Blaine said, tightening his grip on his boyfriend's hand.
"Yeah?" Kurt only replied with one word, for fear his voice would break.
"Don't forget me." Blaine looked at Kurt, tears filling in his eyes.
Kurt smiled, tears streaking his face and stifled a sob.
"Never could" He replied with pure honesty.
"In 50 years time, you won't remember me."
Kurt's heart broke. Had Blaine been worrying about this all along? About Kurt moving on to the point where he completely forgot Blaine?
"I will, Blaine. I promise I will."
Kurt put both his hands on Blaine's and looked at him with such conviction that Blaine knew he would live on forever in Kurt's heart.
"I love you." Blaine's voice cracked.
Kurt had been the only boy Blaine had ever loved, and he'd forever be the only one. He knew this was his goodbye, and it hurt more than any physical pain he had suffered over the last few months.
"I love you too, and I always will."
Kurt stood up and kissed Blaine softly on the lips. When he sat back down he continued to hold onto Blaine's hand and watched his breathing become slowly more laboured. Within fifteen minutes, Blaine was gone.
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song"
Blaine's voice echoed in the church. He recorded this song just before he fell ill and requested it to be played when they carried the coffin out of the church. Kurt never would have imagined aged 17 he'd be carrying his boyfriend on his shoulders to his final resting place.
"The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears; keep them in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them"
Eventually everyone left and Kurt was left at the grave by himself. He knelt down beside it and stared down at the flowers left by friends and family. There had been an enormous turnout of people who had come to say goodbye to Blaine, which warmed Kurt's heart.
He sat there for what seemed like hours and thought about the last few months, how he had all this time to say goodbye to Blaine, but he never really did. When it began to get dark, he stood up and looked down at the grave once more.
"I'll never say goodbye to you."
"The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time"
_