A/N: Ugh… My second attempt at Humor. Please note that the only reason that I ever write Humor is for my real-life friends, who apparently think that I'm 'funny.' Me… Funny… Right…
Man. I had no idea what to name this. Don't you like the TOTALLY creative title? I sure do. It's the best title in the world.
DISCLAIMER: "The Legend of Zelda" and all rights, including the copyrights of the games, scenario, music and program, reserved by Nintendo. TM and (r) are trademarks of Nintendo. All rights reserved.
--A Green Rupee and Steak--
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It was nighttime. Link and his mysterious talking shadow named Midna had just entered Hyrule Cast Town after battling a gruesome horde of stupid Bublins mounted on stupid Bullbos riding randomly—and stupidly—around Hyrule Field. Link had just so happened to let his guard down during that one moment where a stupid Bublin had stupidly bonked him on the head with a gigantic club, rendering him unconscious.
Once he roused, however, through his clumsy and clouded mind, he randomly decided to visit Castle Town, and therefore, since his mysterious talking shadow had no say whatsoever in where he wanted to spend his days, he wandered off stupidly to the Town, leaving his horse in Hyrule Field. Alone.
No soul was present in the Town at this hour, and all that moved was the subtle flickering of the torch lights and the wavering of the wind.
Link had no idea where he was going, but as he saw the sparkling beauty of Hyrule's center fountain, he immediately rushed over with heightened anticipation.
"Look, Midna! It's water!" he shouted to his follower. Midna drifted up from his shadow and stared at him, shaking her head.
"Man, you really got hit in the head hard, didn't you?" Midna sighed.
"Hey! We should wish for something," he suggested. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a big, shiny, orange Rupee and handed it to Midna. "You go first."
"Are you kidding?" Midna replied as she held the Rupee in her small hands. "An orange Rupee? For one wish?"
"Oh! Sorry," Link answered, taking the orange Rupee and replacing it with a silver one. "There."
"…Never mind."
Midna turned to the fountain, closed her eyes, made a wish, and dropped the Rupee into the water.
"MIDNA!" Link suddenly screamed, and the princess turned over to him immediately.
"What?!" she questioned.
"Someone dropped a silver Rupee in there! What were they thinking?!"
"…"
Link reached into the water and put the Rupee into his wallet.
"I'm gonna donate it to charity."
"That's nice."
Midna floated over to the edge of the fountain and sat down.
"Aren't you going to make a wish, now?"
"Oh… Yeah. Right," Link replied, taking out a single green Rupee this time. "I wish… For all of the soldiers of Hyrule to be mauled with steak tomorrow."
He dropped the Rupee into the water.
Midna stared at him, mouth agape. Then, she nearly fell over into the fountain, laughing.
"Steak?!"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Out of all the things you could possibly wish for," Midna laughed, floating up to face Link, "you wished for all the soldiers to get attacked by steak?" She put her hand over her mouth, chuckling. "Link, I know they're as useful as a fish on land when it comes to protecting Hyrule, but…"
"Hey, Midna…" Link said, completely ignoring what she just said.
"Yeah?" the princess replied.
"What's your name?" he stupidly asked.
Midna looked at him for a few moments and then sighed before answering.
"…Link. My name is Link."
"Link? That sounds so familiar…"
"It should. Now, c'mon, Princess Zelda won't save herself!"
Link looked at her dumbly.
"…Princess… Zelda…?" he questioned.
"…How hard did that guy hit you again?" Midna wondered, floating over to him closer.
"What are you talking about, Link?" Link asked. "What guy?"
"Um… Never mind. Do you at least remember how to use a sword?" she pondered.
"I don't know, but your hair is on fire."
"My hair is on—No, no… My hair isn't on fire. It's just like that," Midna replied. She was starting to get annoyed by his stupidity. Hopefully, he would remember everything soon…
Or else Hyrule would be doomed.
"LINK!" Link yelled out to Midna… Again.
"What is it this time?!"
Link pointed into the fountain.
"Look! It's water!"
"Yes, I know it's water, now come on, we have to go—"
"LINK!"
"WHAT?!"
"YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE!"
"IT'S NOT ON FIRE!"
"QUICK! PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE WATER BEFORE YOU DIE!"
"LINK!!!"
"WHY ARE YOU YELLING OUT YOUR NAME?!"
"STOP YELLING!"
"NO YOU!"
Link slapped her, stole a Rupee from the fountain, and ran off. It took a few moments for Midna to realize that he wasn't coming back, so she chased after him.
However, he was already out of sight.
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The next day, Midna was still looking for him. She looked all over Hyrule, from the depths of the Lakebed Temple to the highest point on Snowpeak. But he was nowhere to be found, much to her dismay, so she decided to take a small break and visit Castle Town.
Shifting her form so that she appeared to be a shadow, she slipped into the darkness cast by the castle walls. She moved all the way into the center fountain, where she decided to eavesdrop on some girls that were always gossiping.
"Did you hear?" one asked. "All of the Hyrulean soldiers got attacked by steak today!"
Midna almost died.
…But she didn't, so she flew to the Castle.
"Liiiink?!" she called out when she was inside. There was no answer, so she flew up a flight of steps and called out his name again. This time, someone responded.
"What?!" the extremely-familiar-sounding voice echoed.
Midna, ecstatic and faithful, flew up behind a wall to find none other than Link, slicing up a piece of steak with his sword.
"Link!" Midna gleefully exclaimed, floating over beside him. "Where've you been all this time?! It's not nice to just run off like that, you know!"
"I… What?" Link replied, confused. "What do you mean, I ran off? I thought you were in my shadow…"
Midna paused for a while.
"…What's my name?" she asked.
"…Is something wrong with you?" Link wondered. "You're Midna… Right?"
"…Yes," she answered, secretly breathing a sigh of relief. Then, she looked at the steak.
"Okay, where'd you get that from?" she asked, hinting to the piece of meat.
"I don't know, you kept on bothering me about saving Princess Zelda, so I went to the Castle and saw all of the soldiers in the throne room covered in steak," he explained.
"…And you took one?"
"No, this one fell on my head," he replied, stuffing it into his tunic. "But anyway, aren't you gonna remind me to go gave Princess Zelda again?"
"Go save Princess Zelda."
"Alright."
Midna drifted into Link's shadow, and as he began approaching the top of the Castle, she promised herself never to let him make a wish in a fountain again—ever.
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A/N: Wow, that was freakishly short AND not very decent. I'm absolutely horrible at writing Humor. But, if you liked it, please review.
--Eternal Nocturne--