I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. I did own them for about half a second and then I lost them in a game of craps. I was also the heir to the Spanish throne, but they said my Castilian was horrendous and I had to give it up. I don't own the characters in this story, but I sure do play with them enough. Joss is the master of the Buffyverse and I just happen to be sucked into the twisting world of myth and fantasy, just like the rest of you.

*clears throat* I want to apologize to those of you who were annoyed with my little mind trips in 'Friends of NIMH' and I would like to thank those of you who were nice enough to write reviews, for it. I feel honored to alleviate your boredom, for just a little while. Well, as usual, we need to get...

On with the show.

::Stuff and Nonsense::

It had been a week and a half since the last client paid their bill and walked away with a smile on his (or was it a her) face. Well, at least, on his/her head. It had been a Fredlierning demon, which technically didn't have a face, or a gender. It had no eyes or nose; Just a mouth and three ears. That had been a shocker, for most of the employees at Angel Investigations. Everyone except Lorne and Spike, that is. Lorne had sighed, shook his head, and went in search of a drink. Spike had just smiled and shrugged, as he accepted the job of exterminating a small, nasty race of arachnid-type demons, which had infested the Fredlierning's home. What had surprised Spike was the size of his client's home and the size of the not so small, but really nasty arachnid-type demons, he had promised to kill. He came home covered in sticky film and smiling ear to ear. He had made a mess, yes, but he *had* won the war.

Now, everything had returned back to normal. At least, as normal as things could return to, considering. Spike was still terrorizing the cat, Lorne was still putting down snifter after snifter of any drink he could get his hands on, Angel was trying to help Cordelia make a website, while Fred, Wesley, and Gunn stood over to the side and laughed at them.

"Cordy, I don't think having us put out a pop-up, is the way to go about getting business." Angel said in his 'I'm so logical' sounding voice. "First off, people hate them. Why else would they have those pop-up blockers that don't work, all over the place? Secondly, we are only in L.A. Pop-ups go all over the Internet, which means they reach around the world. We don't need that type of advertisement."

"Geez, Angel. It was just a suggestion. A simple, 'no' would have sufficed." Cordelia huffed, at her boss. Angel was being extra pissy today. He hadn't agreed with one of her ideas, and, for some inexplicable reason, he had felt a need to lecture on the reasons he didn't agree with her. "How about billboards? We could just forget about the Internet, seeing as how you are so computer retarded."

"I'm not retarded." Angel glared at the woman, as she clicked a few button and turned off the monitor. It whirred and hissed, as it shut off. "Are you sure you did that right?"

Cordelia turned her swivel chair so that she was looking up into Angel's face. "You couldn't tell whether I did it right or not?" Cordelia smiled and nodded, as Angel shook his head. "See? This goes way beyond computer illiterate. You are computer retarded." She nodded matter-of-factly and pushed herself up out of her chair. She shoved past Angel and walked around the desk and toward the front door. "You guys try to get through to him." She muttered to the three, who had been watching from the lounge. "I'm through dealing with him, today." Cordelia opened up the closet and pulled out her coat. She slipped it on and opened the front door, before looking back at her colleagues. "I'm going home and I'm going to soak in a tub and go to sleep. You coming over tonight, Fred, or are you sticking around here?"

Fred shrugged. "I may just sleep over here, since there doesn't seem to be any baddies about." She grinned over at Angel, who was staring at the blank computer screen, absently. "If I change my mind, I'm sure I can coax a ride out of someone."

"I can take you, princess." Spike yawned, as he stumbled down the last few stairs. He straightened his shoulders and sighed. "As long as you don't plan on going in the next few minutes. My eyes are still sleep-filled."

Cordelia nodded. "Okay, then, that is settled." She grunted, as she passed another look at her boss. "Don't just poke the keyboard, Angel. Let someone show you how to turn it on, first." Angel was ignoring her plea, so she just shrugged. "Whatever. You're going to have to pay for it, anyway. See you guys tomorrow." With that she headed out the door and shut it behind her.

Spike looked over at his sire and grinned. "How long have they been on that thing?"

Gunn laughed, quietly. "Long enough for Cordelia to decided to take an early night and Angel to threaten to throw the computer out."

Wesley nodded. "I think his exact words were 'out the window', actually."

Spike nodded. "Which means they have been on it too long." Spike sighed and trekked over toward his, severely confused, sire. "Angelus, give it a break."

Angel poked another button and growled.

"Angelus, you are doing it wrong." Spike tried to push the 'Master' button, but Angel just swatted his hand away. Spike bit his bottom lip and nodded. "Uh-huh..." Spike grabbed the back of Angel's chair and swiveled it around, as fast as he could. Angel stared up at him speechless, which only made him grin. "You want some help?"

Angel's brows furrowed and he huffed. Finally, he nodded and turned his chair back toward the evil device that was causing him so much frustration. "It won't do what I tell it to do." He growled, again.

Spike sighed and shook his head. "It will." Spike insisted. "You just have to give it the right commands." Spike leaned over Angel's shoulder and pushed the 'Power' button. The machine whirred and the screen came to life, in a few short seconds. "See?"

"No." Angel stated, firmly. "I don't see. I had to have pushed every button on the stupid thing."

"The stupid thing?" Spike chuckled. "What are you, four?" Spike leaned back over Angel and typed in a username and password. "Just admit that this is something that ou are bad at and be done with it. It's not like you actually *have* to learn how to use the 'stupid thing'."

The Windows screen popped up and Angel sighed. "How did you do that?"

Spike turned away from his sire and headed towards the round couch, where Fred, Wesley, and Gunn were lounging. "Drop it, Angel." He said, as he plopped down in between Fred and Wesley. He leaned over so that his head was lying on Fred's shoulder and sighed, happily. "You'll only work yourself into a snit-fit and I'll have to yank you out of it."

Wesley arched a brow at Spike and then threw a glance over at Gunn. Gunn looked up, caught Wesley's look, and nodded. They couldn't get over how casual Spike was with Fred and Cordelia. He could just about do or say anything and the two women would just grin or laugh.

Of course, the two men had no idea that Cordelia and Fred had discussed the same thing and had come to the conclusion that being friends with Spike was like having a gay guy friend. The first and most important reason being, they knew that there was no chance that they would ever date him, or that he would ever even consider dating them. They also believed he was trustworthy, gave good advice on how to deal with things, and he had good fashion sense, when it came to women's apparel. They had decided that that had to be the good thing about him living with Drusilla for so long. He had picked out all of her clothing and make-up. As he had told them once, he couldn't very well let her pick those things out for herself, being that she was so 'effin' crazy.

"Spike, show me how to get on the Internet." Angel, all but, commanded.

Spike sat up straight and quirked his scarred eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"I said, show me how to get on the Internet." Angel repeated.

Spike nodded and glared at the back of his sire's head. "Oh, I heard you the first time, then." Spike cocked his head to the side and waited for Angel to turn toward him.

Angel couldn't understand what was taking Spike so long to come over and help him. It wasn't like he was actually doing something else, at the moment. "Spike..."

"You call me boy and I pull your bloody bullocks off."

Angel turned in his seat and flashed Spike a surprised look. "What?"

"Just fair warning." Spike said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Now, what is it that you would like, Angel?"

Angel thought about it for a moment and realized his error. He had been a little too commanding and Spike didn't appreciate it. 'Almost as difficult as a woman.' He thought, amusedly. He gave Spike a smirk, which faded instantly. Spike was glaring, now. He hadn't of thought out loud, had he? He didn't think he had. 'Shit.' He thought.

Spike nodded. Angel was definitely bad mouthing him, in his head. He could tell by the way he looked so guilty. Spike shook his head and stood up. "Use the mouse and click on the big blue 'E'. You can take it from there. The opening page is a search engine. Type in what you want to look up and go."

Angel did as he was told and nodded. A little gray box popped up on the screen and Angel groaned and exited it, thinking it was a pop-up. The computer screen suddenly turned blue and Angel practically howled, in dismay.

Spike jogged over to his sire's side and laughed. "What did you do, you stupid pouf?"

Angel didn't even notice the 'term of endearment', as he was to disgruntled over the computer error. "What does this 'system error 217' mean?"

Spike's lip curled and he sighed. "I dunno'." He muttered, as he reached toward the keyboard. He clicked a few buttons and the machine whirred. A box popped up and he grabbed the mouse and clicked on the 'Explorer(not responding)' and hit the 'end task' button.

Angel squeaked, as he watched the computer shut down. "Do we have to do that, all over again?"

"Nope." Spike stated. "You aren't touching the bleedin' machine, anymore. Get up."

Angel started to snarl, but his childe was insistent. Before he knew what was happening, Spike had shoved his chair over and replaced the space with another chair. It was wood and had no wheels. Spike sat in it and started to boot the computer back up.

Spike looked over and caught the outraged look on Angel's face. "Fuss all you want. I'm just saving you a whipping from lil' Miss Legs, tomorrow morning. She will kick your butt six ways from Sunday, if she finds out you crashed up her system."

"And what about you?" Angel crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair.

Spike shrugged. "I'm not *going* to crash the system." Spike scratched the back of his scalp and waited for the reboot to finish up. "What is it you are wanting to look up, Angel?" Angel muttered under his breath, making Spike strain to hear. "What's that, Angelus?"

"A book." Angel sighed.

Spike swung around in his seat and grunted. "We are going through all this trouble for a book?" Spike sighed, when his sire smirked and shrugged. "What is it? A spell book?" Spike slumped in his chair and stretched his neck from left to right. "Is it that concordance Wes has been whining about, for the last forever?"

Angel shook his head and smirked. "It's not that type of book."

Spike sat forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looked down at the keyboard and sighed. "And what type of book is it, then?"

Angel nodded at the computer. "The 'login' screen is back."

Spike looked up at the screen and shook his head. "It's a logon screen, Angel. Now, what type of book are we looking for?"

"Alice in Wonderland." Angel stated.

Spike scoffed and tried to hold back a laugh. "Really?" He typed in his username and the password, again, and waited. "Why are we doing that, now?"

"It's a gift, for someone." Angel muttered. He felt foolish. Technically, he was going on the computer to look for a children's book, when he should be doing something that was of soul redeeming worth. Sad thing was, there had been no cries for help, lately and it wasn't like he had a 'bat signal' or anything. He had a seer. He had a seer that hadn't been 'seeing', for a while. He also had an empath, who was doing nothing but drink.

Spike turned to look at his sire and grinned. "Whose birthday is it?" He asked, half-jokingly.

Angel looked up at Spike and smirked. "Connor's."

Spike's face fell. "Really? I didn't know, or I would have gotten him something."

Angel shrugged. "It's a few weeks away. You still have time."

Spike nodded. "Why 'Alice in Wonderland'?"

Angel shrugged, again. "It's a good book and Connor hasn't read it. He doesn't really read much. I just thought I'd start him on something enjoyable."

Spike logged on to the Internet and went straight to a local bookstore's site. "Do you think I could get him 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', or would it be impersonal since your already getting the Disney version?"

"The Disney version?" Angel asked.

"Yeah." Spike laughed. "Alice in Wonderland was the name Disney gave to 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', because they thought it sounded more tidy, or something. It was a real shame too; cause Lewis Carroll was a real genius. I actually saw him once before he died."

"Did you?" Angel asked, with interest. "I had no idea."

"Well, he was an old man and he was buying a pair of knickers, but I saw him, nonetheless." Spike said as he clicked on a book. "What's your credit card number? I found you a deal."

"I'll type it in." Angel leaned to do so and Spike shoved him away.

"You'll do nothing of the sort." His childe informed him. "You'll just lock it up, again."

"I won't lock..."

Angel was interrupted by the front door slamming. The AI team turned to see who their new arrival was and they were surprised to see Connor red faced, and huffing and puffing, standing in the doorway. "There may be a problem." He stated, as he headed over to the weapons cabinet.

Spike pushed himself up, out of his seat, and Angel followed. They made their way toward the boy. Gunn had automatically put a hand on Fred's knee, in a comforting manner, when the boy gave his foreboding message. Wesley had just leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest, waiting for the rest of the story.

Spike saw how Connor was trembling and his breath was hitching. Spike was the first to ask what was on everybody's mind. "What the bloody hell happened to your shoes?" Well, he was the first to ask what was on his mind.

Angel shook his head and sighed. "What he means is, 'are you alright?"

Spike scowled at his sire. "I know what I bloody well meant." He insisted. "I wanna' know what happened to the boy's shoes. They are *gone*, Angelus."

"Actually..." Connor stopped shuffling through the daggers and swords, so that he could rub the back of his neck. He gave his dad a wry grin and shrugged. "They were slowing me down, so I slipped them off. They are probably still a couple of blocks down the road."

"If you are lucky." Spike muttered. He just couldn't believe that Connor would be so careless with his shoes. "What were you running from?"

"I wasn't running *from* anything. I had to run *to* home." Connor picked up a knife and smirked. "I had to get something to kill it with. Hand to hand combat would have been unfair. It had, at least, six arms." Connor started back toward the door at a brisk walk. Le looked over at Wesley and Gunn and grinned. "So, are you guys coming or not?" He asked, with a laugh, before slipping back out into the darkness.

Gunn jumped up from his seat and Wesley followed suit. They jogged to the weapons cabinet and muttered something about a good fight and how they were going to help Connor.

Spike scoffed at the scene and threw his sire a look. "He didn't invite us to fight." He pouted.

Angel shrugged. "Maybe he thinks we would be overkill."

Spike scowled and shook his head. "In this business there is no such thing as overkill. There *is*, however, a 'not enough kill', and I would hate for this to be one of those times."

Fred slumped back on the couch and sighed, gustily. "They didn't invite me either." She said with a smile. "I'm kinda' glad, though, cause six armed demons aren't really my niche."

Lorne chuckled, as he glided down the stairway. "But you sure have a way with those green faced, red horned demons, darlin'." He stopped and threw a large smile over at the two vampires, who were arguing, off to the side. "Hello, all. Is it too late to say good morning?"

Spike grinned. "I'd say too early, but I suppose it depends on how you look at things."

"With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, puddin'." Lorne sighed, happily, and walked around the couch, taking a seat next to Fred.

Spike quirked a brow at the demon and queried. "How much *did* you drink, today?"

Lorne shrugged. "I don't know? Why does it really show?"

"The question is, does it really matter?" A lilting voice asked from the open doorway. "It's not like drinking is a sin."

Angel gasped, when he looked up and saw who was standing in his doorway.

Spike looked over at his sire and caught how much paler he had become. "Angel, is everything alright?" He asked, quietly.

"I'm right aren't I, Angel?" The man smiled, charmingly. "Com' on. Us Irishmen gotta' stick together."

Angel gulped, silently, and shook his head. "Doyle? How?"

Doyle nodded, slowly, and sighed. "Now, that question may be a little harder to answer."

TBC

-Okay, before I even go into this story, any further, I must say that I absolutely loved Glenn Quinn in everything he ever did. He was a wonderful actor, who just happened to have a debilitating vice that he couldn't let go of. *clears throat* Okay, so this is a new story and I need you guys to review so that you can either encourage my genius or discourage my insanity. It's up to you guys. Love you guys bunches.-

-This story is called Stuff and Nonsense, which is a phrase that Alice... Remember Alice? (Sorry, that was just a little Arlo Guthrie humor.)... *clears throat* it's a phrase that Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, said during the book. I would have called this Through the Rabbit Hole, but that is a little too clichéd.-